Is there anyone on the planet that has a bigger, more emotional relationship with clothes than a crossdresser?
As far back as I can remember, I remember the pangs of seeing a beautiful dress and just yearning to wear it. As I got older the feeling just grew. There was always a longing in my heart when I heard of girls in high school shopping for a prom dress, and later, listening to my friends talk about wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses.
I think every one of us remembers the first time we wore a dress, the first time we walked in high heels, the first time we wore…anything and everything.
As I grew up and started to buy my own clothes, I remember the thrill of actually owning my own pair of panties, my first pair of heels. Of course when I first moved out my wardrobe started to expand…and like many of us, the wardrobe ended up in the trash a short time later. When we purged we all felt that this was it, we were never going to dress up again. We could beat this, we could live without this.
Of course, we were all fooling ourselves. It wasn’t long until we regretted the purge or until we were back at the mall, shopping all over again. I purged more times than I would like to remember. I have thrown away so many dresses and heels that I regret.
When I was in mid-20’s, I realized I was never going to change and I finally accepted that this is who I am. My wardrobe started to steadily grow over the next few years and then I met the girl I married. After a few months of dating, I told her about everything. It was a shock to her but I was glad I was honest with her. I knew I wanted to marry her and I knew I had to be upfront with her. A few days before we moved in with each other, I purged for the last time.
Of course, it wasn’t long until I started buying panties again, but I was honest with her. Soon I started to grow a wardrobe again and I never purged again.
A little over two years ago, I decided it was time to make some changes and I cut back drastically on my drinking, started to exercise more and lost fifty pounds and I have kept it over since then. I also dropped from a size 20 to a size 12. I needed new clothes and my wardrobe started to grow again.
I cleared out my closet and I wondered what I should do with the clothes that didn’t fit anymore. I finally found a perfect home for the clothes and I am excited it will help other t-girls. More on this later.
Tonight I sorted the clothes that were going to be donated and it was very emotional. I found the first dress that I bought years ago when I started my wardrobe for the final time, I found the dress I wore the first night I went out, the skirt I wore when I went out for the first time I went out during the day, the first dress my wife bought for me…
I am lucky to have the life, the wife and the clothes I have. I am glad these clothes will go to other t-girls that will love them as much as I do. I wanted to take a look back on some of these outfits and reflect on how important they were in helping me become…ME. These clothes are a part of me and I truly loved them.