It Will Never Be Okay

I think the social norms surrounding clothes are hilarious.

Why is a t-shirt with a v-neck considered men’s wear and a t-shirt with a scoop neck is considered women’s wear?  It’s a shirt.

I stand by the belief that if every cis-male tried sleeping in a nightgown then within weeks Target would soon start selling nighties with designs like a football jersey.

Same with leggings because OMG leggings.

I get emails from many people, both trans and cis about clothes.  Some of the emails are from people who may not consider themselves transgender, but rather just want to wear what they want to wear.  “Why can’t guys wear a skirt?  What’s wrong with men wanting to paint their nails?”

Here’s the thing.  Anyone can wear a skirt.  Anyone can paint their nails, even if it’s tricky to paint your right hand with your left hand.  Clothes don’t know that society has placed expectations and norms on who can wear them.  If it fits, you can wear it.

But I know that’s not what they mean.  People want to be able to wear what they want without anyone caring.  Or pointing.  Or laughing.  But that will never happen.  We live in a society where the colors people wear make people so angry.  In 2011 J. Crew published an ad that had a photo of a mom painting her son’s toenails pink.  The world lost its mind.  The reaction, although depressing and hilarious at the same time, was not unexpected.

We live in a world where people get beat up because they’re wearing the opposing football team’s jersey at a game.

I think we can all agree that there are many people in the world who care waaaaay too much about what clothes people wear.  Whether I’m stepping out in heels and a killer bodycon dress and a $70 makeover or I am in guy mode wearing “girl jeans”, I know that I am making someone angry.

Floral bodycon 6
Here’s me not caring about what you think

Good.  If what I wear is making you angry then I am glad to put you through that.  If you are the type of person who spends even a second of your time thinking about what I should or should not wear then you are, well, pretty pathetic.  I don’t care what you wear, why do you care what I wear?

I am not aware of any state that has laws that says that men cannot wear eyeliner or yoga pants.  Let me know if I’m wrong.  But what the law says and what societal norms are can be very different.  Just because there is or isn’t a law about something it doesn’t mean people will change their opinions and attitudes.

I think what we want is for it to be okay.  There were headlines all over the country a few years ago when the marriage equality act was passed.  It gave everyone the right to marry whoever they wanted.  But the law didn’t necessarily change people’s minds about the LGBTQIA community.  I can’t imagine someone seeing that the law changed and thinking “well, I guess it’s okay to be gay.”  If they didn’t like our community before, I doubt that law changed anyone’s mind.

My point is that even if the newspapers all over the world printed a headline that read “It’s Okay to Wear Whatever You Want”, it’s still not going to be “okay”.  It’s not “okay” for me to wear whatever I want.  But that’s fine, I don’t need permission from anyone when it comes to something like clothing.  Even if that headline was published, there will always be the change someone will laugh, point or threaten us whether we are rocking those stilettos or simply glaming up our eyes with a little mascara.

We need to stop waiting for permission.  We need to stop waiting for some authority to “let” us do what we want and wear what we want.  It will never come.  It will never be okay.

But it TOTALLY is.

I hope you can spend your weekend wearing what you want, whether you are strutting through the mall in knee high boots or being lazy in leggings.

Love, Hannah


25 thoughts on “It Will Never Be Okay

  1. i love this post. its so true with society, men cant wear what society calls male cloths and female cloths. its just clothing so what if it is female ish looking, if it fits wear it. woman wear male clothing all the time. this post says it all 100%. i am a closet x dresser and love to wear dresses, skirts, nylons, bras, panties and even put on make up and perfume SO WHAT i feel better wearing female clothing then male clothing.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hannah

    A little anecdote.

    A little while ago my elderly next door neighbour came out with how she did not agree with Eddy Izzard wearing a skirt — she was wearing pants/trousers!


    Note: pants/trousers = US/UK English

    Liked by 2 people

    1. OK so he is wearing a skirt and the lady is wearing pants and shirt, i would tell her then what are you wearing then? woman wear pants and shirt as we call it and woman call it blouse and slacks is more what they call it. pants with no pockets. what is wrong with society, cant we just get along with every one no matter what we wear.


  3. Another excellent post! So spot on. It is really strange how narrow some people are when it comes to this stuff. And you are right, it just shouldn’t better, and we shouldn’t care. I’m growing my hair out, and even that causes all kinds of comments. When did long hair become a gender thing??

    I was recently out in San Francisco. I stayed downtown, and it was fabulous. There you see TONS of people expressing as gender blended, non-binary, trans, gay, or whatever the heck they want to be. It is so interesting and cool, and the people watching is great, let alone everything else.

    What has been interesting for me in my journey is blending the worlds together, and feeling comfortable doing so. Thank you for your inspiring and empowering words!


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love the senriment of this post Hannah. I believe a significant reason people become uneasy and I really mean apoplectic is that it is seen as demeaning for a man, with all the privelege that goes with that to emulate a woman. This is a worrying undercurrent that relates to what our society thinks of women. It has to be changed but I see it as a slow melt.
    Thereagain who would have dreamed that same sex marriage would be legalised widely?
    Live in hope and may 2019 be a good one for you and your followers

    Liked by 1 person

  5. very very well said .what is wrong with MEN WEARING ladies Knickers /Bras
    i think this happens VERY VERY OFTEN.people are so Snotty Nosed about
    GREAT DEAL MORE.I, MY SELF prefer Ladies knickers too mens pants
    i do a blog.http;//
    i am disabled have m.e .long list health issues

    Liked by 1 person

  6. great photo
    rallying cry “We need to stop waiting for permission. We need to stop waiting for some authority to “let” us do what we want and wear what we want. It will never come. It will never be okay.”
    i agree great post
    Happy New Year


  7. Great post, Hannah, and a fab photo too.

    I feel this is – please forgive the phrase – a call to arms. We have to push to be ourselves and as you say about waiting for permission, well, knickers to that. 😁 Let’s go.

    I hope you’ve had a good Christmas and good luck for 2019.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have been a Crossdresser my whole life, my wife knows but doesn’t want any part of it, although she is happy for me to dress around the house as long as she’s out at the time. This has helped me accept myself alot more. I don’t even own a pair of male underwear anymore and only ever wear jeans that are female styles and brands, this has made me a lot moire content in myself. I don’t even own male jeans either, given clothing is only pieces of cloth sewn together it seems crazy that one thing is male and the other is designated female. So I am happy with my choices in life, forever in knickers and womens jeans,

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Great post, Hannah. I can’t help but think that every time M2F crossdressers present their femme side in person, we’re the potential targets of ridicule and disdain (and, Heaven forbid, worse) from the general public. While it’s good to educate the general public, as we do with our blogs, what matters more is the comfort we feel with ourselves, naysayers be dammed. The rest of the world will hold on to their hidebound opinions on who men should be men and women women, but we are free to present ourselves to the world as we see fit.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Pingback: Hannah McKnight

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