Ask Hannah!

Hannah, I’m a twenty year old male who is trying to be femme, why do I have an erection when ever I dress femme?

The simplest answer is that you are aroused.  But anyone with a penis knows that erections are caused by that.  I think what you may be asking is why dressing en femme arouses you.  Well… only you can answer that.  For some of us, crossdressing/wearing femme clothes is a kink, a fetish.  A fetish is something, it could be anything, that one associates with sex and/or arousal.  It could be anything from a body part to a 6 inch stiletto.  No one really knows why somebody has a certain fetish, it’s just how someone is wired.  At one point in someone’s life, usually in childhood, they saw something and immediately liked it and were intrigued by it.  They looked at it in a way they’ve never looked at anything else before… and it became a fetish.

IF crossdressing/wearing lingerie (or anything else) IS indeed a fetish for you, it will likely ALWAYS be a fetish.  You MIGHT always be aroused by it.  OR! you will simply get used to dressing and the sexual nature of it will diminish over time.  Gender identity is something that evolves over the course of a lifetime. Dressing femme might be a turn-on today, but you may realize someday that THIS is more than THAT.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

11 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!

  1. Hi Hannah,
    I remember so many years ago (about 60) dressing and getting so aroused. I was very confused about what was going on. Looking back I think it was because I had found a part of me that was inside. Expressing it, by dressing, was allowing myself to be me, and that was exciting. Of course, as the years went by I started to understand so much more about that part of me. When I dress now, it seems almost more normal than when I am in drab. Carolyn

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  2. hello, a good question to bring up. its normal to get an erection when dressing up. but as time goes on with you dressing up, it will go away, and it would be like you are a female getting dressed up with no erection. i have been dressing up for many years. i am now 59 and still dress up and with no erection. when i dress up i am a female getting my panties, bra, nylons dress or skirt and blouse on. but when our son is home i but on my boring male cloths over them. but when wife is home and our son is at work i take off my boring male cloths and i am dressed up, all i need is makeup on and perfume and Earings, and heels. wife knows and lets me dressed up for she is getting use to me being dressed up for she knows i love to wear female cloths. i have more female cloths then she does and even wear them more then she does.

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  3. oh, sorry forgot to add, i buy my own makeup, dresses, skirts, nylons, perfume, plus she knows i have more then she does. woman dress like men so men should be able to dress like woman. when i do dress up i feel relaxed and depress free, no panic attacks, but wish i could go out and go shopping with wife and we both can buy dresses that we like or she can buy for me and i can buy for her and that would be more like slacks, blouses or a shirt type, wife can show me what is nice to wear with a dress that she would buy me and nylons , what make up to buy, and maybe show me how to apply eye shadow better. but only in time that will happen. Hannah MCKNIGHT you look so beautiful wish i could look as pretty as you, then i would go out side and shop

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  4. So well put Hannah. Everyone is definitely on their own evolution pendulum. The winner is the one who is lawful and feels right in their own skin, regardless of external pressure,

    Balancing Confidence and Self-Awareness in your station and your orientation? That’s the quest we desire.

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  5. From what I can remember 20 year old males get aroused by pretty much everything, pretty much all of the time. Because I experienced this for a long time I was concerned that my cross dressing was about sex, but I have come to understand it was related to the release that dressing gave me. Now as a mature trans woman of a certain age, this is no longer an issue

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  6. There are likely several reasons your reader is getting aroused. Hannah, your are spot on for one cause; fetishism. Another is a condition called autogynephilia, where a person is aroused by seeing themselves as the opposite gender. Basically he sees himself becoming a female form which he is attracted to. And Paulagee was spot on with the third; at 20, almost anything can be serialized and arousing.

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  7. Claire is correct on both. When a male gets older, his sexual desire decreases and so when he dresses, it is not as much as a sexual turn on anymore, but a real desire to see himself as a different ( female ) person and to get an idea of what he would look and feel like as a female. I do wonder: do females get turned on sexually when dressed up, let’s say, in a mini-skirt or a short dress? Men do. But what about females? Interesting question – any ides on this?

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  8. I think part of the issue is that we are bombarded with images of sexy women everywhere. I walked around a shopping mall with my teenage daughter and asked her to look at the images all around us. I pointed out how they are almost all images of young, attractive, white women posing in ways which are downright sexy, or intended to show off legs, or bust, or juicy lips seductively parted. (There are far fewer images of older women, of non-white women, or of men). Even ads for laundry detergent or camping gear attempt to associate female attractiveness with the product. My intention (for my daughter) was to draw her attention to the fact that all this is done deliberately. Hopefully becoming more aware of it will in turn allow her to be less swayed by it (and she’s turning into quite the opinionated feminist!).
    Where I am going with this is that we are (basically) programmed to associate sex with femininity. Feminine clothing, makeup, shoes and accessories are all marketed as being sexy. It’s completely understandable that the sight and feel of such things is arousing, especially for young men with a high sex drive.

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  9. I’m 70 years old and the sexual fetish part of dressing is still the major reason I dress. I never fail to get an erection when I start to dress. I think a big part of this is that I’ve never dressed fully, never any make-up or wigs, almost always just nylons and lingerie.

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  10. I think for me dressing up has always been about connecting with the feminine energy. Even at the age of four I was attracted to it and I knew I would feel more balanced as a person if I could express it through clothes. When I was 12, it was like turning on a switch. The feminine energy of a pretty dress was one way to feel connected with the other half, as much as I imagined it would with penetrative intercourse. Even though I am married now, my wife’s physical problems have left us celibate for 7 years now, and dressing has taken on a bigger role for both sexual satisfaction as evidenced by an erection as well as just a calm femininity when I am out and about.

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