Under A Full Moon

I am bi-gender. I will always identify as transgender, but I believe that identifying as transgender is very much an umbrella term. There are many different, and more specific, ah, classifications if you will, of people who are transgender.

Some of these nuances (again, in my opinion) can include drag queens, people who are non-binary, and crossdressers. Transgender doesn’t necessarily mean living full-time, HRT, or transitioning.

Being bi-gender means that I have two different gender identities. Two different sections of my closet, two different social media presences, two different email addresses, two different circles of friends.

Two different lives.

Hannah’s life has two feet (both wearing five inch black patent stilettos) in the transgender world. She very much identities as trans.

But in my boy life? Not so much. Of course, this has to do with HIM not being out to hardly anyone on HIS life. He doesn’t talk about his own gender identity to his friends or his coworkers.

Some of us feel this way. SHE is trans, he is NOT.

It’s a weird and contradictory mindset. I mean, she and I are the same physical person. We have the same soul, heart, body, and mind… we just use different parts, I suppose.

Why aren’t we BOTH trans?

Well, we ARE but I think you know what I mean.

I can’t talk credit for this analogy, but the other day someone posted online about something along these lines and I am going to paraphrase and tweak their thoughts a little.

Let’s call it the Werewolf Paradox.

A werewolf is someone who lives their very normal life but when there’s a full moon, they transform into a beast. They go from person to wolf.

If we look at both, ah, presentations, they appear to be very different from each other physically. And they are. Human AND beast. They share the same body although both sides look very different from each other. They present as one or the other Human OR beast.

They have different lives. The wolf runs around the woods doing, uh, wolf things. The person attends Zoom meetings and goes grocery shopping. There is very little overlap between these two sides.

Regardless of their physical appearance and their activities, THEY are a werewolf. THEY are always a werewolf, no matter what they look like or what they are doing.

I think you know where I am going with this. You could very easily apply this analogy to someone like myself. Although I hate the thought of associating myself with a giant, hairy beast that screams at the moon, I reluctantly give this analogy credit.

I am always a werewolf, I am always trans, I just look different under a full moon.

Love, Hannah