Although living full-time or transitioning is not for me, I do wonder what my style would be if I did. When Hannah struts out of my boy life, she is alllll about dressing to kill. False eyelashes, bold makeup, heels, cute dress, and a tightly cinched corset. I feel amazing.
But if I am being honest, it does feel nice after a day en femme to undo everything and put on clothes that, well, require less maintenance.
I have a lot of thoughts when I get ready and alllll of them are superficial. Hoping that I look cute, hoping that my dress shows off my legs, hoping I can manage all day in *these* heels. I plan my outfit but I also plan on HOW I will put it on. For example, my corset limits my movement a bit. Not very much mind you, but if I am wearing heels that require me to bend over or kneel in order for me to fasten them, then I make sure I put my heels on before my corset.
Since it takes me about 30-45 to shave everything and everywhere, and about the same time to pick out an outfit and get dressed and even more time on top of that if I am doing my own makeup, I often think that I’m glad I don’t have to do *this* everyday.
Don’t get me wrong, I love presenting en femme. I love every second of it. I love wearing my corset and stockings and eyeliner and stilettos. Love it.
But again, it’s a lot of work. I do LOVE the work and I do LOVE the result, but it is a process.
It’s pretty clear that Hannah is pretty *extra*. I would never, ever, EVER say she’s the prettiest, most femme girl at the mall, but she is usually one of the few wearing heels and a dress.
Most cis gender women I know very rarely wear a dress or heels or makeup beyond foundation, subtle lipstick and a touch of mascara. This is not a criticism AT ALL. This is also NOT a competition. Every girl should wear whatever the hell they want, whether that is five inch stilettos or zero makeup. That’s the fun of being a girl, doing whatever you want.
Some crossdressers tell me that they don’t understand why a girl doesn’t wear a dress or heels everyday, especially since they are “allowed”. I… I get it, on some level. I mean, dresses and heels and super fun to wear and I dress to the nines when I do have a chance to dress.
Every woman (trans or cis) has a different experience when it comes to preparing for the day, but for me, getting ready takes a lot of time and effort and money. If I wore foundation every day, it would get expensive since the type I use is pricey. After twelve hours in heels or after an expensive shopping trip to Sephora, I am, on some level, glad I am not en femme every day. Mind you, I am not saying that presenting femme does NOT necessarily mean heels and makeup. I heart a tight leather dress, but I also heart relaxing in leggings.
I do wonder what my look would be if I was full-time. Would I wake up each morning and wear a dress? What would I wear if I was feeling a little lazy? What would I wear if I was spending the day running errands? Would I have bold eyeliner and false eyelashes all the time? Would I wear my corset each and every day?
I can’t imagine doing that. But of course at the same time, I can’t imagine leaving the house in flats.
There’s also the emotional part of getting ready. As I begin “the process” I am trying as hard as I possibly can to turn *this* into who I hope is a pretty girl. If I am having an ugly day or my dress isn’t as cute as I want it to be or my makeup just isn’t cooperating, it can really ruin my day and destroy my confidence.
This is not a critique on any girl that chooses flip-flops over thigh-high platform boots. I get it. If I was full-time I am sure that I would have shoes that aren’t heels. I’m sure I would *shudder* wear pants. There would be days when I would opt for a light makeup look.
For those of you who have made the leap (or strut) to full-time or transitioning, how has YOUR look changed?