Do you know what I like? I like seeing girls like us HAPPY.
And I know this side of us isn’t always rainbows and perfectly winged eyeliner. Dysphoria is sneaking around the corner, it’s frustrating to find heels that fit, laws are being passed left and right to hurt the trans community… sometimes it’s easy to feel depressed and broken hearted.
But, oh, nothing can brighten our day like wearing a favorite pair of panties or going out en femme.
We are simple girls… but at the same time we contain multitudes. It doesn’t take much for this side of me to make me happy and at the same time this girl needs an amazing makeover, a cute dress, and perfect heels.
Our journeys will throw a LOT at us. Some of the difficulties we can see a mile away, some are surprised, both welcomed and, well, unpleasant.
There is nothing more intimidating and humbling and exciting and amazing and frustrating as our first steps. This can be a LITERAL first step as we finally find stilettos that fit only to stumble a bit when we make that first timid strut.
The first time we do ANYTHING, whether it is painting our nails or… oh, I don’t know, cleaning your gutters, is a learning experience. You are likely going to fail, but the real goal is to learn something from it. You can learn what NOT to do. You learn by failing.
In the right mind set this perspective is invaluable. But… THIS side of us can really take a hit when we do something for the first time. We yearn, we ACHE for years and years to look a certain way, to feel beautiful. We see amazing women and we want to look like them.
When we are finally ready to take that first step, to follow along in a makeup tutorial on Youtube, or to try on a dress, or a million other things we want to do, we hope and we expect to see a beautiful girl beaming back at us in our mirror.
We can all recall a moment that not only humbled us, but perhaps absolutely destroyed our confidence. Our first makeup attempt was a disaster. We can’t walk in heels to save our life. The dress just… it just doesn’t fit.
It’s easy to give up. I get it. I’ve given up… but I always came back.
Remember, crossdressing takes time, patience, and money.
Give yourself the time. Be patient with yourself. Be GENTLE with yourself. You’ll get there.
I know we all have had these experiences. But in time we will get past the frustrations, the dysphoria, the humbling feeling we can get when we just don’t look as pretty as we wanted, as we expected, as we dreamed.
I follow a lot of t-girls on Flickr, I see a lot of photos on Twitter, and pictures of girls like us online. Some girls absolutely knock me out and I feel a combination of needing to up my game and wanting to just give up.
As much as I like seeing a t-girl that has invested a lot of time, patience, and money into her look (because this is what is typically necessary to achieve the look we have been dreaming of), I love seeing a t-girl’s first photo.
I haaaaate this photo, but this is one of my first pictures that I loved.
The dress doesn’t fit (the capped sleeves don’t fall where they should), my wig is a mess, my makeup needs a lot of work, but I would never wear black stockings with a white dress these days. My body language lacks confidence.
But my god, look at how happy she is.
This is how happy we ALL look in our first photos.
And how amazing is that??
After years, decades, a LIFETIME of wanting to do THIS, we’ve finally done THIS.
Our smiles say it all.
While my photos these days are (in my opinion) miles ahead of this picture and as cringy as this is, it’s still important to see this from time to time. It reminds me of how far I’ve come. It reminds me that the time, patience, and money I’ve invested in my look has paid off.
Keep at it. Keep posting those first pictures.