Letting Go of the Binary

The Pride festival is always an enlightening experience. I mean, the people watching cannot be beat. It’s really the only place on the planet where you can see people living exactly how they want to live. There’s no judgement, there’s no shame (except for those who have a kinkshame) at Pride.

Until someone goes to a Pride festival they may think that they are, well, anything goes. I mean, yes, there are some who really let their freak flag fly (and really, good for them) but what I mean is that this past weekend I saw furries, drag queens, families, people of all genders, people wearing sports jerseys from their favorite team… the list goes on.

It’s really the only place where people are living their best life. They dress how they choose, they’re holding the hand of the person they love, and feeling a part of a community. They are expressing affection and wearing what they wish at the only place they feel safe in doing so. If only the whole world was a place where people felt this safe.

It’s an opportunity to be reminded of how all different we are from each other. How complicated and how nuanced we all are. And not just in the “some people are furries” thing, but how unique we all are.

And I KNOW this is coming off as a cliched “everyone is special” post but that’s not what I’m getting at. What I mean is that if you spend time with people and have a chance to see them for who they are, you may find something about them that makes them interesting and endearing.

Of course some people are as interesting as doorknobs, but I digress.

When one looks back at their relationship history they can probably list why they fell for who they did. Perhaps it was their personality or their sense of humor. Maybe it was the shape of their face or their fashion sense that sparked the physical attraction.

Friends aren’t much different. We begin friendships for different reasons, often from a shared interest. Over time we ask different people in our lives for advice or their perspective on different things.

I think my point is that there are so many reasons to be drawn to someone else. There are so many different ways that people can express themselves. With so many possibilities it’s almost silly to think that there are only two genders and that sexual attraction is limited to just one other gender.

I hope that we as humans can let go of the binary. That we stop enforcing our own beliefs onto someone else just because we don’t understand what someone else is feeling.

Love, Hannah

5 thoughts on “Letting Go of the Binary

  1. You know, something I’ve been thinking about recently is how we need to diversify our LGBTQ+ Safe spaces. I had a blast at Trans March in SF on Friday, but as soon as the March was over, it just became one giant club. That’s nice for those who are into clubbing, but I’m sorta past that stage in my life. I’d love to see LGBTQ+ spaces that are more like cafes, or nice restaurants, or spaces for trans people like myself to do things that are harder to do in public (such as go swimming or get in a hot tub… I finally got the courage to jump in a pool as Alicia last weekend). I really want to take an LGBTQ+ cruise, but I fear it would just be one big floating Hamburger Mary’s (nothing wrong with them, but other than drag brunch, that’s not really my space).

    But don’t get me wrong… this isn’t to my invalidate or question currently experiencing LGBTQ+ spaces… I just want to go somewhere safe that isn’t so, um, “clubby.”


    1. I agree, I just want to be me no matter where I go.
      By the way a few years ago I did go on a cruise totally enfem
      The cruise staff was amazing and I met some great LGBTQ people at a meet up
      I booked with my male legal name but it just wasn’t an issue
      I had a great time


  2. Hannah – can i plagiarize you? – i love what you have written

    “I hope that we as humans can let go of the binary. That we stop enforcing our own beliefs onto someone else just because we don’t understand what someone else is feeling”


    Liked by 1 person

  3. I m a crossdresser but I dont agree with letting go of the binary! That means we r ignoring science! The binary is the sex not the gender! Now for those that are intersex or have other syndromes those are genetic mutations! The binary is science! Gender is psychological science and i d agree has no binary
    Just a thought


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