Ten Years of T-Girls, Part One

The last few days have been filled with significant and personal milestones.

I turned 48 on the 16th.

I celebrate 7 years of sobriety today.

I am humbled and grateful for marking 10 years with the MN T-Girls this past weekend.

These are all very personal and very wonderful accomplishments. They each are moments where I can look back over the years and reflect on what led to today.

Over the weekend I chatted with many of the T-Girls, many who have become important and dear friends in my life and was asked two questions that realllllly made me think about the group as a whole as well as the last decade.

One question is if there is, or was anything I’ve wanted the group to do as an event that we haven’t done quite yet. This took me a moment but there really wasn’t anything tooooo specific. I mean, I would love for us to take a day trip to a city in Minnesota that’s not Minneapolis or Saint Paul. I would love for us to do some charity work. But these are ideas that I haven’t really sat down and explored the logistics quite yet.

As a group we have done events that I personally NEVER thought I would do on my own, let alone with a group of other t-girls. It’s hard to remember a time when simply going to Starbucks was the equivalent to climbing a volcano protected by werewolves. We have had private shopping events, bra fittings, makeup lessons, amazing dinners, Pride events, theatre outings… all in heels and eyeliner.

My God.

So many of those events were once an impossible dream but we did it. And we did it together. It was a lofty idea all those years ago, to bring girls like us together, to do everyday things, whether meeting for coffee or having lunch, but it’s a dream realized.

The group doesn’t exist today because of me. Yes, I started it and yes I plan almost every event, but we meet each month because at least one girl showed up for the previous month’s event. I intend to keep planning events as long as I am able and as long as girls keep coming.

But the girls do more than just show up. They help plan events. They suggest ideas. They help set up the tent at Pride. They donate funds for hotel rooms for our annual holiday parties. They bring food and treats to potlucks.

Another question I was asked that took me a moment is what surprises me the most about the longevity of the MN T-Girls. Honestly? That it still exists. I had attended a few meetings of other trans support groups prior to the MN T-Girls and I met some wonderful girls there. They were, and will always be, important and valuable to our community. These groups tended to meet in private rooms, whether in a church or in a LGBTQ+ business.

Safe, private spaces.

Which is crucial for almost all of us, especially in our early days.

The MN T-Girls had a goal that was (and maybe still is) a little ambitious and perhaps a little naive which is still having a safe space for us… but out in the real world. To help girls experience the small and silly things like having a coffee or going shopping. To show the world (or at least Minneapolis) that we exist and we are just doing the same things that everyone else does.

As far as I know we seem to be accomplishing this. And this is all in thanks to the girls in the group. It’s impossible to show the world that WE exist if WE don’t do everyday things. We, in a way, have become accidental ambassadors (if you will) of the non-binary community. We are (again, this is possibly naive and likely hubris) showing the world that *this* is not about sex, it’s not a fetish, it’s not… weird. We are just very tall girls doing stuff.

“Very Tall Girls Doing Stuff” should be the mission statement of the group. I should put that on a shirt.

And yes, I know that not all of us are tall. 🙂

My second answer to what has surprised me the most about the group was that it hasn’t turned into A Sex Thing.

I mean, as far as I know, lol.

What I mean is that when my wife gave me the idea, and her blessing, for the group, I researched a lot of other groups to see if I could learn anything about how to get started. It wasn’t uncommon for a group to start off as a support group but soon became a place for others to hook up.

And of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with sex. But as much as the goal of the group was and is to meet others, it’s not meant to help others get laid.

A side note to the MN T-Girls who are reading this: if there’s something going on that I don’t know about, well, I want to continue to not know about it, lol.

But seriously, the girls and the group as a whole have continued to surprise and delight me. This is one of the most fulfilling and wonderful things I have ever done or will ever do with my life.

As soon as 2023 started (which feels like forever ago and feels like yesterday at the same time), I knew we had to do something special. If we did a normal event I thought it would feel like a missed opportunity. I mean, we COULD do a BIG celebration for the 20 year anniversary but who knows if we will get that far? It still surprises me we hit three months, let alone 120 months.

The girls offered a lot of really fun ideas and we explored a lot of them. Some were cost prohibited, though. I like keeping the events throughout the year divided between free or low-cost outings and relatively pricey events (such as photo shoots and theatre visits) balanced. The thought of a celebration that was out of many people’s budgets didn’t feel right.

I also received suggestions from non-MN T-Girls. There were quite a few readers who considered making a trip to Minnesota to celebrate with us and some asked if we could plan a typical MN T-Girls event in addition to whatever celebration we would end up doing.

In the end we had three different activities. The first was a private shopping event at Allure on Friday night. The other two were the next day.

Friday was meant to be a typical MN T-Girls event. We’ve had three private parties at Allure in the past and I was more than happy to arrange for another.

And yes, private shopping events don’t really fit the goal of avoiding cost prohibitive activities, but the two things we would do the next day were free (well, aside from potentially paying for parking or choosing to order food or drinks).

At 6pm on Friday, the doors were locked at Allure and our private event started. There were about 7 of us. Many girls had a bra fitting, many girls bought cute lingerie, and we all chatted and had a really lovely evening.

I treated myself to a few things, such as a pair of panties that cost $46. I’ve had my eye on them for like FOREVER and I didn’t think ANY panties justified that price but I’m wearing this pair at this very moment and you know what? I think I’m in love.

Here’s a few pictures from the night. I’ll share photos and thoughts about the second part of our celebration tomorrow.

Thank you to Allure for just being amazing. There’s a reason I keep coming back and a reason the MN T-Girls have had multiple private parties here. Thank you to the girls who attended and for helping create a really lovely evening.

Love, Hannah