Hi Hannah, I live in South Africa. I crossdress but it is so difficult to buy crossdressers items because in South Africa we do not have the facility like in the UK, Australia, Canada or America. We cannot go to a store and purchase. I wish someone could set up a store here. Even finding a makeup artist is difficult. I have been trying to buy silicone breasts for some time. Please try and assist. Thank you for all the lovely articles and information as well.
Regardless of where one lives, stores that specifically target our community aren’t all that common. As happy as I am that there are retailers that sell clothes and heels that are sized for girls like us, I don’t limit my shopping to them. I have just as many dresses from Target and Dress Barn as I do from En Femme and Glamour Boutique.
I don’t think greater society will ever be “okay” with girls like us, crossdressers, or a guy buying panties, but some parts of the world might view us as more taboo than others. There’s nothing stopping me from going to the mall en femme to buy lingerie, but I would be less comfortable doing this in certain parts of my state than others.
If buying clothes locally is not an option (regardless of where you live), then online shopping is the way to go. When to comes to forms and pads, I highly recommend The Breast Form Store.
I hope this helps!
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
There is nothing I love more than planning outfits and shopping. I have chosen the more recently based on staple items and items that can work with multiple outfits. Most of the things I have now would fit into the “office casual” or “office to evening look”. I had not considered outfits and heels for occasions but I LOVE LOVE the idea. What would you recommend for both outfits and shoes for brunch? date night? Errands? Going to club or nice dinner?
Clothes, heels, accessories, and makeup are a wonderful way to express one’s style and personality. Clothes can convey confidence. I am always amazed (and delighted) at how versatile “girl clothes” are. There is a dress for literally every occasion I can think of.
When building or expanding a wardrobe, I would recommend reading an article I wrote for En Femme about the essentials.
This is probably a good time to mention that this is all strictly my opinion. What you fill your closet with, your lingerie drawer with, is 1000000% up to you. Create a wardrobe you want, wear clothes that you want to wear. There are no rules.
But since you asked, here’s what I would wear.
When it comes to heels, start with a pair of black heels and a pair of beige heels. These are the most practical and the most versatile as you can pair them with almost every outfit and are appropriate for almost any occasion. Black to dress up, beige to dress down.
Boots are essential for fall and winter. Something cute and strappy for summer. As you build your wardrobe you’ll start getting inspired as to which shoes would go best with the outfit. For example, this sparkly dress is beautiful, and yes, a pair of black heels would work, but I am happy I had a pair of gold heels to pair it with.
Accessorizing an outfit is not that different than cooking. Sampling the soup you are making might inspire you to add a spice (or whatever, I am not a chef). Picking out a dress will also inspire you to envision what heels you should wear with it.
As for choosing an outfit for an occasion, really, you can wear whatever you want to whatever you want, and what I would wear may be different than what you would choose. As I get older I get bolder, braver, more confident. I can’t blend in, so I fully embrace with standing out. Not to the point where I am wearing a gown to Target, but I love wearing bold patterns and bright colors, even if I am a little out of place. Not too many people wear heels to run errands, but this girl does.
Off the top of my head, here’s what I would wear to a few different events or places.
The Club
I am not really sure what I mean by the “The Club” but I suppose a crowded place with loud music and alcohol. 🙂 I think you can get away with an incredibly bold outfit at a club more than anywhere else. I would, and do, wear something more leathery or shiny, such as PVC.
Brunch
I love showing off my legs and I do so with any chance I get, but I would wear a dress or a skirt that touches my knees or longer. Probably something that isn’t sleeveless, too. Bright colors also seem perfect for brunch, too.
Dinner
Of course, this depends on the type of restaurant you go to, as well as the event. These are some of the outfits I have worn to dinner. This first dress is from a night out that included dinner and attending a play. The dress worked perfect for both.
The Office
Of course, I don’t work en femme, but I have a lot of outfits in my closet that would work just fine for the office. These two outfits are my best effort at a sexy CEO look. 🙂
Shopping
I dress for ME. I don’t dress for anyone else. What I wear when I hit the mall is a little overdressed compared to the other girls, I don’t hear a lot of other heels clicking on the floor besides my own.
I hope this helps! In looking over these photos I am seeing a wide variety of dresses and heels, but the really, wear what you want. 🙂
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
Seriously, it was a fun contest, and as they say, there’s no shame in losing to the best. The winner for the Kittens category was the beautiful Natalie Masara.
The winner for the Newcomer category (the other category I was a finalist in) was the breathtaking Jewels Smith.
Thanks to everyone who voted and congratulations to everyone who entered!
I know deep down that this is a question that I can probably only answer myself but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I’m married with 3 kids 2 of my own and my step daughter. My wife and step daughter know about Erica and are very accepting of my dressing. My Son and daughter do not know of it and I really don’t know if I want them to. I think my daughter would be ok with it but I think my son would take it really hard. For reference my daughter is 19 my son is 18. Anyway I have always joked with my daughter in the past whenever we’re at the mall or running around town that we should go get makeovers or go buy me a little black dress to wear and she always laughs and says yeah right I’d like to see that.
Well, the last couple weeks she’s brought up wanting to do my makeup and give me a makeover to which I laugh it off and say I don’t know only if I can wear a dress and heels to go with it! She says go for it Lol
Anyway I know I would love it and think it would be fun but I’m scared that I’d let the cat out of the bag so to speak if I enjoy it a little to much or walk in my heels a little too well! I guess what I’m asking is for your thoughts on if I should let her do this or not? Like I mentioned I know I’m the only one who can answer this.
Thanks in advance Hannah for any insight you could provide.
Yes, you are 100% correct, only you can answer this.
But here are some things to consider. Once you come out to someone, it can never ever be taken back. You can’t go back into the closet. Even if you never talk to someone about this side of you after coming out to them, they will always know and your relationship will forever be changed. It might be better, it might be… well, weird, it might be tense. It might be a big shift or subtle, but it will impact your relationship.
If you keep bringing up things like makeovers or pedicures or dresses, eventually your daughter will notice a pattern. She may or not “figure it out” but she will likely notice that you talk, even jokingly, about this stuff a lot.
Of course, she may already know about this side of you and might be dropping hints that she knows about you and might be inviting you to come out to her. I don’t know, I can’t say.
When we do come out to someone, we need to be gentle, we need to go slow sometimes. If I were to come out to someone at this point in my life, I probably wouldn’t bombard them with everything Hannah does (modeling, this website, the MN T-Girls, etc). Who Hannah is, and everything I do would likely overwhelm anyone and I wouldn’t blame them. This side of us is going to be a shock to almost anyone in our lives so its best to take it slow.
I hope this helps!
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
I don’t have a chance, but I am honored to be a finalist for Glamour Boutique‘s annual Glamour Girl contest. All finalists were invited to submit a 30 second video and I wanted to share this amazing video that my friend made. The song, of course, is by Madonna.
The winners are supposed to be announced this weekend, so fingers crossed!
Of course, the first pair of heels I purchased were black. What is more classic and sexier than black? I was probably twenty years old when a pair found their way into my closet… and then purged lest my girlfriend at the time found them. Thus began my ongoing obsession with heels.
After coming out to my wife while we were dating, this world continued to open up. The purging was behind me, and my wardrobe began to properly grow. Obviously this would include heels. And of course, the first pair to find a permanent home in my closet were a pair of black heels. This time they were patent stilettos, but still, they were black.
Creating a wardrobe is amazing and a lot of work, and it can also be overwhelming. Expanding my shoe collection wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Of course red heels, and heels that sparkled with gold and silver were added to my collection, but I wasn’t sure where to go next.
My wife said that I needed a pair of beige heels. And I thought nothing could be more boring than heels that more or less matched my skin color. When I wore black or red heels, they really stood out. The screamed for attention, which I absolutely wanted (and needed in the early days). I didn’t see the point in beige heels, but I soon added them to my closet. My wife is amazing at putting together an outfit and matching accessories, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
And she was right. I found myself wearing my beige heels more often than I expected. I found they were a perfect match for beautiful, spring outfits. They paired perfectly with a yellow dress.
It wasn’t long before my beige heels became my go-to for an outfit if I wasn’t sure which shoes went best with it. They were subtle, they helped dress down a dress in a way, and did the opposite that my red patent heels did: they didn’t scream for attention. The heels didn’t compete with my outfit. They complimented it. Yes, at first glance they weren’t as eye-catching, but this is not a girl who wears flats, so beige allowed me to wear heels but not draw attention from my usually bright, summery dress.
To me, there is nothing beautiful than small attentions to detail. Something that isn’t noticeable at first, but a second glance or looking for a couple moments longer and seeing a really beautiful accessory or an intricate dress pattern is really sexy. A small, subtle thing to reward the person who pays attention to an outfit is one of my favorite things.
They come in a variety of colors, but these heels in beige are exactly what my wardrobe needed.
The best heels inspire an outfit. Many times when I pick out my dress for the occasion I start with the heels I want to wear and I go from the there. When I opened the book and saw the shine from the patent leather, my mind raced. The elaborate criss-crossing is simple but sexy. This is not a pair of heels you simply slip into, they require a commitment, the strap belies a sexiness that rewards the person who catches a glimpse of these seemingly innocent and subtle.
I knew exactly what dress to match these gorgeous heels with… and inspiration like that only comes from the best accessories. I paired these heels with an animal print, low-cut dress with thin straps. I’ve had this dress in my closet for a couple of months waiting for the right moment (and perfect heels) to wear it.
This is a dress that screams confidence, especially for me. I have always, always felt conscious about my shoulders. I have always felt they were too… manly. Wearing a dress with thin straps like this shows them off in a way I have never done before, and the pattern of the dress just… demands to be acknowledged. I myself am not going to turn any heads, but my god, this dress will. This dress will not be ignored.
The heels are not trying to take away one’s attention. The dress is not subtle. The heels are not competing, so to speak, for someone’s eye. But these heels do exactly what I want them to do… they compliment the dress. Yes, the dress is hard to miss, but if you happen to glance down and see my heels, you’ll see a beautiful shine, you’ll see small details, you’ll see a sexy strap wrapped around my ankle. A perfect heel, a subtle stiletto that rewards a careful look.
The heels themselves are gorgeous. They shine, literally. They run true to size, and sizing is always hit or miss when to comes to shoes. The strap is long enough and has enough notches to fasten comfortably without pinching or digging into my skin with each stride. The heel itself is centered perfectly and I never felt unbalanced regardless whether I was standing or strutting.
Simply put, beige heels are a must for my wardrobe, and these heels are exactly what I need. An overlooked color, but an essential one. The criss-cross strap works in beautiful, perfect contrast to such an understated color. And the shine!
Thank you to the Breast Form Store for these absolutely gorgeous heels.
Hi Hannah! I have two, pretty different questions… I’ll ask the light one first, and then the deep one second:
Have you ever thought of attending a Trans conference or gathering (like Diva Las Vegas) before? I’m hoping to go to one after all of this COVID stuff is done.
What are your thoughts on the term “genderfluid” (specifically, does identifying as Bigender differ from Genderfluid)? You’ve mentioned being bigender before, so I wonder how, in your opinion, that would differ from being genderfluid. I hope that question made sense.
I would love to attend a conference! It would be a opportunity to finally fly pretty, one of my goals. I travel (or used to) a lot for my job, and every time I am at an airport I think about how much more fun it would be to do so en femme. Besides Diva Las Vegas, there are quite a few of conferences out there, I just need to decide which one to attend. As you mentioned, COVID-19 is impacting everything, so I suppose if/when I go, it would be next year at the soonest.
There are a lot of ways non-cis individual can identify. There are many different interpretations of what transgender and crossdresser actually mean, and I have my own perspectives on these terms. Falling under the transgender term are bi-gender and genderfluid. I don’t think that we as a community will ever 100% agree on the definitive definition of the meaning of many of these terms, so please don’t take my perspective as anything than my opinion.
I identify as transgender, basically because it covers a lot of territory. But to put a finer point on it, I suppose bi-gender fits me best. When I am out in the real world, I am (in the binary sense) either a boy or a girl. There’s really no gray area when it comes to my gender presentation. I am either in a dress or… um, something less fun. Hannah’s life, and my male life are about as divided as my closet.
Genderfluid is a little different. I interpret this as one combining clothes and physical attributes that are normally associated with the gender binary. Think facial hair and lipstick. A necktie and heels. Of course, I am not saying that girl can’t wear a necktie or have facial hair, but I think you know where I am coming from.
But like clothes, my gender identity can also change a bit. For example, I woke up in a nightgown, and I am currently writing this wearing a boy t-shirt and girl leggings. By my definition I am genderfluid at this moment.
I do love the idea that gender is so much more than boy or girl. As wonderful as it is to find a term that anyone can identify with, in some ways, it also shows how pointless it is to think of gender as either THIS or THAT. I hate that wearing leggings in boy mode means that society has to slap a definition on me.
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
Back before he was the insane president’s equally insane lawyer, Rudy Giuliani was the mayor of New York and was so during the September 11th terrorist attacks. It is hard to believe that this conspiracy driven whack job was once looked up to for guidance and inspiration during one of the most significant and darkest moment in recent American history.
A few weeks after the attacks, the country would resume many of the normal activities that we took for granted before that day. Sporting events, concerts, and television shows started up again, and one of those shows, Saturday Night Live, had one of the more poignant moments that I can recall during this time.
During the first episode after the attacks, Giuliani himself appeared during the opening monologue and the creator of SNL, Lorne Michaels, turned to him and asked what many of us were thinking.
“Is it okay to be funny again?” “Why start now?” Giuliani quipped back.
It was a lighthearted moment that many of us needed, but more importantly, we were, in a way, given permission+ to start laughing again, that it was okay to start moving on from the horrible events of that day. It was okay to start healing, and laughter is a wonderful way to bring people together.
I have been thinking of this moment a lot lately. It was almost a month ago when George Floyd was murdered by a Minneapolis police officer which sparked a week of riots, demonstrations, and trauma. It was horrible and heartbreaking.
Once things settled down a bit, I drove through two of the harder hit neighborhoods and the destruction and the beautiful tributes were in sharp contrast to each other. It was all very overwhelming.
I had a photo shoot not long after this which took place in downtown Minneapolis and I felt very conflicted about it. I felt it was almost inappropriate to be doing it, and as the day progressed Shannonlee and I would chat with people passing by and made small talk and everyone seemed relived and quiet. The chaos had passed and things were calm. People seemed to be happy doing small, mundane, everyday things… taking a walk, enjoying the sunshine, living their lives.
When the shoot started, I couldn’t help but think about that episode of Saturday Night Live. Was it okay to be happy again? To start healing? Is it okay to be beautiful again?
I think many of us feel a strong connection to where we live, and for those of us who have two gender identities, and two lives, we experience things through two different perspectives. I know what Minneapolis means to me, but on a different level, the city helped me feel comfortable and welcome the crucial first few times I went out en femme. I have a deep love and appreciation for a city with many wonderful people who would smile at me, a transwoman, as we all went about our day. I am (well, for the most part) proud of the city, the people. I myself needed to be there. And it was important for Hannah to be there.
I’ve been thinking about that afternoon, and the events of the week prior to that a lot lately. There’s no question that life is scary these days. Between the pandemic and the violence, it’s easy to be moved to tears.
Through all this, it feels superficial and shallow to getting a makeover and modeling clothes and heels.
I apologize if I my modeling and shoots and blogging is coming off as insensitive and selfish. I am not blind to what is happening all over the world, to my city, and to the transcommunity. I don’t mean to come off that way.
We all know the feeling of needing and wanting to be beautiful. I am learning that this need is still there, and probably even stronger, when the world is dark, scary, and sad. We need beauty more than ever. A rainbow after a storm, a hug from a friend, a thoughtful text, flowers in a vase.
I don’t know if it’s okay to be beautiful again. I think it is. I hope it is.
I wanted to share some behind the scenes shot from my photo shoot for En Femme‘s spring and summer line that I did earlier this month. Please note they were taken with an iPhone without the normal touch ups that Shannonlee does.
And! Since they are behind the scenes and taken between shots, please forgive me if I look a little distracted… or tired. 🙂
But I am not always looking at my reflection for vanity reasons. I might be checking my lipstick, making sure my hair isn’t a mess… but sometimes I am looking for him.
We all have days where we look or feel like a man in a dress. A man in a wig. A man wearing lipstick. These days are worse than days when I just feel kind of ugly. And I have those days.
I am not trying to pass (there’s no such thing). I assume that everyone who sees me knows I am transgender and really, that’s okay. I would prefer people interact with me knowing I am trans as opposed to treating me a certain way because they think I am a ciswoman.
When I see a mirror, sometimes I want to see how…masculine I look. Contouring, thigh pads, and lipstick can only go so far. Obviously I know what I look like in male mode, and when I look into my reflection I want to see how much of that guy is there.
There are days where I don’t I look like my male self. Whether it’s because I am naive or my self-esteem is so through the roof that I am being delusional. Other days, well, a man in a dress.
For me, presenting as a girl requires more than just a cute outfit. It’s how I walk, how I move, how I carry myself, how I talk, what I say, pressing my knees together when I stand, how I sit, my mannerisms. It’s a little bit of a lot of things. Sometimes it takes me a little time to… well, get into character, for lack of a better phrase. Some days it takes no time at all. Sometimes I am on my game.
Mirrors are a way to catch yourself in the moment. If you see a mirror you can, in a way, prepare yourself. But last week as I walked to my car I passed unexpectantly by some very tall mirrors on an office building.
I watched myself walk, how my dress danced in the wind, I noticed my stride, if my hair looked natural in the breeze. I watched how I carried myself.
I was watching for him.
I didn’t see him. And that made me happy.
To be clear, I am perfectly happy in both of my gender identities. I am happy being male, but Hannah isn’t.
After the wall of mirrors ended, I pondered the unsolvable question: do I look that good, or am I only seeing what I want to see?
But I suppose it didn’t matter. For that moment I was a girl in a pretty dress, feeling the wind in my hair on a beautiful day, listening to the click of my heels against the pavement.
Hannah McKnight 