As t-girl, I pay a lot of attention to the issue regarding bathroom use, which seems like such a silly thing to worry about and pass laws about. I’ve written about it and I try to stay up to date about different state laws. The law is not just about bathroom use, it’s about how the public sees us. I think many people push this in an effort to create fear about our community.
This recent article on NPR discusses how the Supreme Court will hear a case on transgender students and using the bathroom that aligns with their gender identity.
Before I was comfortable leaving the house, I always thought of Halloween as the perfect excuse to dress up and hit the town. I thought that if anyone saw me they would just think that I was in a costume.
But as I’ve gotten more confident with being who I am and more comfortable with going out, I have developed a complicated relationship with Halloween. I don’t feel I need Halloween to dress up and go out. In fact, I don’t like being Hannah on Halloween. I am not a costume.
But I also understand that for many of us, this is the perfect time to finally go out as who we are.
What do you think about Halloween?
Today was the monthly outing for the MN T-Girls and it was a very special event. Last year we booked a professional photo shoot with the amazing photographers from Fotofida Studios, Shannonlee and Melina. We had so much fun last year we did it again today! I’ve been lucky enough to work with Shannonlee on several photo shoots, particularly for the modeling work I’ve been doing with Glamour Boutique and it was super fun to work with her again.
The day started off with a makeover with Ulta and after that, the fun really got started. There were a total of five of us getting our photos professionally taken. Many pictures were taken, many outfits were worn and our faces hurt from all the smiling.
It was an amazing day and I can’t wait to see the final pictures! Until then, enjoy some behind the scenes fun.
You’ve been doing this for a long time and clearly it looks like you’ve become quite confident, but my question to you is, over time has your crossdressing become less exciting or thrilling or fun? Have you come to a point where you’ve committed to going out as Hannah and then you get bummed or stressed because of having made a commitment to be Hannah?
It’s my firm belief that one is always a crossdresser. We do what we do because it is who we are. No matter how many times we purge, or promise ourselves…or others that we will never do it again, we almost always do. Because of this, I think that crossdressing will always be exciting and fun to us. It’s who we are, but there’s a reason we keep coming back to this.
But I understand your question. I always want to feel that going out as Hannah is special and fun. One way I help make that happen is by really limiting how often I dress and go out. I go out about twice a month which is often enough to satisfy me, but not enough to take away the fun of it. Limiting the times I dress and go out helps keeps my wife from feeling overwhelmed by who I am, too. My wife is wonderful and accepting of my femme side, but a large contributor to her acceptance is that I don’t overwhelm her with it and I’ve found a good balance with both sides of who I am.
Today is National Coming Out Day, a day for anyone who …well, needs or wants to come out. I think for many of us coming out is very difficult. For many of us, we can’t quite explain who we are, why we are or what we are. In my life I’ve gone from identifying as a crossdresser to identifying as transgender. I am not a fan of labels and neither label quite describes who I am, but they come close.
It’s hard to come out to someone when you aren’t exactly sure who you are. Being who we are is very simple and very complicated at the same time. Some of us need a lifetime to feel at peace with who we are, to be able tell ourselves who are are. Telling someone else is almost exhausting. It’s hard enough for us to understand who we are, but it’s even harder for someone else to understand, or accept us.
I hope you all have someone in your life you can beyourself with, someone you can honest about yourself with. Ours is a lonely, beautiful life.
This is a pretty interesting article from NPR about a transgender police officer in Washington DC. Officer Hawkins talks about some of the things almost all of experienced…from dressing up in childhood to the fear of coming out. Reading about a member of the trans community doing what many people view as a very masculine job really puts things like gender roles in a new light.
I encourage you to read it. She also talks about transitioning and how not only did she change, her family did too.
There are times this father of a daughter and loving husband feels feminine. Very, very feminine. I like to dress up. I like being a woman I have always felt this. I have always felt that I should be not a masculine being but the other end. I cannot explain it any better then that. When the phase shifts I am again man. I put away the dresses. The shoes (hardest part. I LOVE my shoes). I really don’t know. Am I a t-girl? A wannabe? A pretender? The last thing I want is to diminish the bravery that you and other have shown in show in the world who you are. Are there others like me? Caught between one life or another? Who am I?
I think most of go back and forth between how we identify ourselves. Sometimes these identities can change throughout the day, or even longer. Four years ago I identified as a crossdresser; these days it is transgender, but I prefer t-girl. The term transgender does cover a lot of different identities, and labels, if you will.
My suggestion is to stop stressing about how you identify. It’s okay if it changes. It probably will, however, the term transgender is a bit of a catch all and likely covers everything we all feel we are.
It’s also normal for many of us to shift back and forth between what we feel like doing. Sometimes I feel like reading, sometimes I feel like doing yardwork, sometimes I feel like getting a makeover. You don’t have to pick one thing to do, to wear, or to be.
And yes, there are others like you. There are so many like you.
As for myself, I fully embrace having two lives, having two genders. Sometimes they blend together but why should I pick one? Some of us do, but I like having options.
Lifestyle shots are photos where I model outfits and doing normal, everyday things…like sitting seductively on a desk which is something I do all the time.
These were some of my favorite pictures and I hope you like them!