Beautiful Nights

Many of us are missing the days when we could go out en femme.  Due to the virus I’ve been stuck at home and I am looking forward to the day when I can schedule a makeover and hit the mall.  Or even the gas station.

It’s important that we stay in touch with this side of ourselves.  When we are not able to dress fully, I find that underdressing is a wonderful and intimate way to be beautiful. Yes, I can dress at home, but it’s not the same.

The lockdown is giving me a lot of time to shop online.  Purchasing heels and cute dresses is giving me something to look forward to once it is safe for us to go back out.  It’s also a way we can continue to support businesses that support our community as the virus is having an economic impact on almost every company.

Since underdressing is a way to stay in touch with my femme side, I have been buying a lot of lingerie lately.  I wanted to share what I have ordered this week in case you are looking for some new lingerie to wear.

I am in love with the new picnic camisole and panty from Xdress!

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I usually wear short nightgowns to bed, but I am so excited to wear this gorgeous satin nightgown from The Breast Form Store!

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How beautiful is this Yumi tank, and matching Yumi panty from HommeMystere.?

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And finally I added new panties from En Femme including High Sheen Satin Floral Panty and Satin Floral Hot Panty.

 

I miss the days when we could be beautiful, but at least I have beautiful nights to look forward to.

What’s catching your eye these days?

Love, Hannah

 

Ask Hannah!

416Hi Hannah! My own most bothersome “feminine flaw” is my oh-so-manly body hair. The most troublesome area is my hands & knuckles (yes, I’m that hirsute). Professional removal isn’t in my budget, and it seems as though I’ve tried every at-home method under the sun: shaving, waxing, hair removal creams. Do you have any suggestions for a method that would be less than excruciating and would last for more than a day? Thanks so much!

There is a certain joy I feel when I shave my legs.  It is one of the most feminine things I think we can do.  The feeling of a smooth leg against sheets, stockings… sigh.  It’s just… divine.

My hands, arms… not so much.

I remove my body hair once a week.  By keeping on a regular schedule it makes it easier to maintain.   If I am simply trying to keep my body smooth (and eliminate one of the more masculine characteristics, to be honest), I use Nair on my body.

Everywhere.

I’ll use a razor to touch up my forearms or any parts that I missed.  If I am going out, I’ll then use a razor on my legs after the Nair to ensure a smoother feel and appearance.  Since my hair is black any missed spots will stand out.

Hair removal is something that I have had to experiment a lot with, especially when it comes to my arms, hands, and fingers.  It’s frustrating to look at my hands and see little black hairs poking through my skin.

I used to use a razor and shaving cream on my arms and hands.  If this worked for my legs, then it should work for my arms, right?  It’s trickier to do my arms, though, especially when I have to use my left hand on my right arm.  I tended to get a lot of nicks and cuts this way, especially on my wrist.

I used to use Veet which was effective.  Sort of.  The process I used for a bit was shaving my arms, and then using Veet for a second step.

But we are always looking for something that is simpler.  Veet was effective, but my hair grew back quickly.  It’s not Veet’s fault, my hair just grew fast.

After years of this technique, I decided to try Nair.  Nair is faster, more effective and my hair growth seems to have slowed down a bit.  The downside of Nair is that it… ah, tingles more than Veet.  It took longer to get used to Nair compared to Veet.  The aloe vera formula seems to be easier on my skin than the other options.

I hope this was helpful.  It sounds like you have tried many options, but I hope a reader can suggest other methods that work for them.

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

Is this side of us something we are born with?  Can it be changed?

Lady Gaga said we are born this way.

And I agree, we are born this way, but we may not be aware of our identity at first.  For me, I realized early on that I wanted to wear lipstick and dresses and I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with it.  I didn’t think just because I was a boy it didn’t mean I couldn’t wear high heels.

As I got older I realized the scope of my gender identity.  This wasn’t just wanting to wear panties, I just didn’t feel like a boy but I didn’t think I was a girl.  I wasn’t either, I was both.  I had no problem being a boy but I didn’t always want to be one.

And no, I do not think we can change.  We can try to deny who we are, what we want, how we feel.  We can ignore it, we can pretend this part of us isn’t there, we can fight it.  Many of us struggle with trying to repress this side of us.  We can purge, but we all know we will sooner or later buy another dress and we start all over.

If you are in conflict with who you are, how you identify, or what you want, I do not think this is something we can conquer, so to speak.  We end up being miserable because we are not being true to ourselves and we spend so much time and energy in internal conflict.  That is no way to live.

And no, it can’t be changed.  I realize that this side of us is not easy to accept or understand.  Our gender identity is not something we should fight.  We are who we are and we are perfect.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

 

Ask Hannah!

Have you thought about reposting some of your posts from your previous blog for your current website? They were fun, insightful, and likely a number of your current readers have never seen any of them. And those of us who saw them the first time (well, at a minimum, me) would love to see them from time to time.

Thanks! I’m a big fan and blogs like your previous website helped get me out the door and made my lifelong dream come true.

Thank you for your kind words!  I’m proud of you stepping out the door and I am honored to have played even a tiny part of that.

I’ve had this website for a little almost four years now, and before this one, I had another titled ‘Hannah’s Diary’ which featured daily pieces of art focusing on little observations about who we are.  This was the first:

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The observations included everything from the struggles of finding heels to fit, the joy of looking pretty, the frustrations this side of us can bring, and everything in-between.  As time passed, the blog expanded to include more activism, fashion, and news, both personal and about our community.

I got to a point where the website seemed too… unfocused.  Almost as if the blog wasn’t sure what it should be.  I was also feeling a little burnt out from doing daily posts for four years, and the artwork took a lot of time.  I started to feel as if the observations were starting to repeat themselves and I wasn’t saying anything new.  It got harder to them.  I felt that instead of letting the quality of the blog as a whole deteriorate, it might be a good time to close the book on the website and start a new one.

This was one of the last drawings I did for the site:

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After a few months of this website being live, I locked access to the old one.  I did this for a few reasons, but one of the main reasons was because I felt almost as if I shared too much and too much of my personal male life was on there.  Of course, many of us are wary of anything that could connect our two genders to each other, so I thought it would be safest to restrict access altogether instead of going through four years of posts and editing it.

I am honored that these posts had an impact on others.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

 

Ask Hannah!

I would like you to comment on what books you have read and would recommend to others on the CD-TG experience…
As for me, I just did a re-purchase and re-read of ”My Husband Betty”, as written by her wife, Helen Boyd (pseudonym).

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One of the first books that I read about girls like us was “The Lazy Crossdresser” Charlie Jane Anders.  It’s been years since I read this but I remember it had a lot of good information about makeup and presenting femme.  It was light, funny, and pretty breezy and discussed gender identity without diving too deep into the why or the deep soul searching and psychological aspect of this side of us.

 

 

614EoVmPFqL“My Husband Betty” by Helen Boyd is a very important book to read if you have a significant other.  Ms. Boyd does not pull any punches or sugarcoats anything when to comes to being married to someone like us.  She talks about the times when she went out with her spouse while they were en femme, her first reactions to seeing them in a dress…  It’s honest and sometimes hard to read as her feelings and thoughts are very similar to what our own significant others go through when it comes to girls like us.  Knowing what she’s feeling makes us remember that our partners likely feel this way too.

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“Yes, You are Trans Enough” by Mia Violet is wonderfully honest and personal.  For a long time I was reluctant to identify as transgender as I felt that since I wasn’t going to transition that I wasn’t, in her words, trans enough.  But I am, and we all are, if we chose to identify that way.  This book is a reminder that there are no benchmarks we need to meet, no criteria or qualifications necessary for us to identify however we feel is right.

 

JKP Books publishes a lot of wonderful books when it comes to gender.  I would recommend anyone checking them out.

What’s on your bookshelf?

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

My hair is thinning on top and back. I’m trying to decide if a wig topper would blend in with my shoulder length blonde hair.  Will it be more comfortable in the hot summer?  With a large head, wig selections is limited, so who will be helpful to match color without buying things like test color kits?

A wig topper is designed to conceal hair loss at various stages and different areas of the scalp.  Some toppers offer more coverage on the top, while others cover the sides or back of the head. A topper is also ideal for adding volume to thin or fine hair.

Personally I do not find that wearing a wig in the summer is uncomfortably hot.  The wigs I wear are a human hair/synthetic blend, so perhaps that has something to do with it.  But if wearing a wig feels uncomfortable in the heat, I would imagine a wig topper would be more comfortable.

A wig topper might be a perfect option for you and will probably be a little trickier than purchasing a full wig, especially if you want it to match your hair color and your hair style (curly, straight, wavy, etc).  Depending on your level of comfort, it would probably be easiest if you visited a wig store yourself and seeing what the options are and what they recommend.

If you are not comfortable doing this, then I am afraid your only options will be trial and error (which could be expensive) or purchasing a test color kit.  Rest assured that wig stores are very much accustomed to girls like us.  You aren’t the first, the only, or the last member of our community to ask for help.

The reality is that building your wardrobe, discovering your look, learning makeup, finding heels that we can walk in, takes money, time, patience, and tenacity.  There’s value in investing in ourselves, whether it is putting in the time to learn a new language or spending money to find the wig that suits us best.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

New En Femme Blog!

My new article for En Femme has been posted!

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The latest article with blogger, trans-activist and fashionista, Hannah McKnight is now available on our Learning Center! Hannah’s blog discusses more in-depth her life as a self-described T-girl.

In her last article for our Learning Center, Hannah shared her advice for coping with the mental and emotional difficulties many of us are experiencing as we practice social distancing. In her newest article, “Online, Ourselves,” Hannah talks about the need to protect ourselves online, especially in this moment when many of us are spending more time online than usual and relying heavily on social media as a way of staying connected with our femme selves.  Read it now>>

Love, Hannah