Ask Hannah!

Has Hannah affected your relationship with your wife?  Has your wife seen Hannah? Has she had “girls nights in” with Hannah? How does she feel aboutHannah?  How has her relationship with Hannah evolved since your early  days of blogging?

I could probably write (and maybe I should) a book about the dynamics and evolution and impact that crossdressing/being transgender has on a relationship, but I will try to keep this concise.

Being who we are is likely hard on our partners.  This is not a part of us that will change or go away, so we will never “outgrow” this part of us, this is not a phase we are going through.  Too many of us try to suppress this part of us when we meet someone and start a relationship because we don’t want to scare this person away by revealing this part of us.

But of course no matter how hard we try to deny it, this is who we are and we shouldn’t try to do that.  What we should do is be honest with ourselves and be honest with our partners.  I get emails from people like us who tell me that they don’t plan on telling their partners about this side of them until after they’re married.  Their thinking is that it’s too late for them to go anywhere.  This is hurtful, cruel, unfair and dishonest.

I told my wife about this part of me after a few months of dating, once I knew I wanted to marry her.  I’ve come out to a few partners in my life when I felt the relationship was strong and serious enough.  At the time I came out to her, I felt that this was all about under-dressing and I didn’t have a “male mode” or a “female mode”.  I was just a man who wore panties.

But people change and evolve.

After we’d be married for a few years, she asked if I ever wore makeup or clothes other than lingerie.  I had, but never really to the point of a full makeover or head to toe with a wig and heels.  She did my makeup that night and helped me order a wig.  Up to that moment she didn’t really understand why I liked lingerie but she understood the feeling of wanting to be beautiful.

I started to buy dresses with her help.  My wardrobe grew and our relationship now had a new part of it.  We were both learning about Hannah and getting to know her.  We had constant and honest communication about what… all this meant.  There were times where she was concerned about me wanting to transition and where all this was leading to.  Those concerns faded over time.

It’s easy to understand her concern.  I went from wearing panties to doing my makeup and having a closet full of heels in a few months.  My evolution accelerated and it was like going from a nice leisurely drive to a million miles per hour.  But eventually I stopped my gender exploration and landed where I am today and her concerns about me wanting to transition subsided.

This part of me has allowed me to be more open, honest, vulnerable and transparent with my wife.  Not only as Hannah, but as in my male side as well.  This took a lot of patience on her part and a lot of effort to try to understand me.  It took a lot of time, sometimes difficult communication and open and honest conversations.

So yes, she has seen Hannah.  We both met her at the same time, in a way.  We’ve had many girls nights in, whether it was a nice quiet night in wearing leggings or me rocking an amazing gown with winged eyeliner.

My wife and I used to feel that Hannah and my male side were two very different people.  Of course, we have very different wardrobes but over time Hannah and I have kind of… well, balanced out.  Hannah would tend to be more relaxed and chatty whereas I was more preoccupied with whatever was going on or needed to be done.  I don’t relax much, but our girls nights in gave me a chance to dress up and slow down and watch a movie or sit and talk.  My wife and I don’t feel there’s as much of a difference between my two genders (besides physician appearance and presentation) as there used to be.

I make all of this sound very easy and idyllic, but as with any relationship things are always more complicated and nuanced than it sounds.  I am lucky to have my wife for many reasons, not only because of this.

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

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Ask Hannah!

Have you ever thought about modeling as a bride for one of your photo shoots?  I know you’ve modeled before, so I was just curious.

I would love to do a photo shoot as a bride or a bridesmaid!  I’ve done quite a few shoots over the past few years both solo and with the MN T-Girls, and I am lucky to work with Shannonlee, an amazing photographer and the shoots are always better when Corrie does my makeup.

cherry dress 3

I also had the honor to work with Christie Williams of Grinkie Girls in March of 2018.

A few years ago I did modeling for Glamour Boutique and it was so much fun.

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I would love to do more modeling, period.  Last year I did some writing for Xdress and I was confused and disappointed when all of a sudden our partnership stopped.  I thought it would be fun to model for them and I did a shoot modeling one of their dresses.  I thought if Shannonlee and I put together a small portfolio it might entice them for modeling work but as the partnership dissipated without knowing why, my enthusiasm for the project died with it.

But here are a couple pictures from that day:

019075

But back to your question.  Yes, I would love to a do a bridal shoot!  I am becoming more drawn to “theme” shoots where I model one or two dresses in a really beautiful location.  The problem with a bridal shoot is that the dresses tend to be expensive and I can’t bring myself to spending that much money on one.  Ideally I would love to do a series of photos with me shopping for a dress and trying different ones on.  I would follow it up with perhaps a series of getting a makeover and then a shoot with the dress itself.

So, unless someone wants to buy me a gown, I am not sure that will happen anytime soon, but a t-girl can dream.  🙂

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

Ask Hannah!

When you are out as Hannah, do you try to “feminize” your voice in any way? If so, do you have suggestions for how to go about doing that?

No, for two reasons.

The first one is based on how important it is to be as natural as possible.  I know some of us have been able to feminize their voice, but it’s not an easy thing to do.  I met a transwoman a few years ago and bless her heart, but she was trying so hard to have as feminine as a voice as possible.  She spoke in a somewhat forced high, falsetto voice and to be honest, it was really uncomfortable listening to her.  She seemed so…fake.  She was as nice as could be but the longer we spoke the more her real voice surfaced and she sounded much more natural and sincere after that.  She seemed so much more confident.

The second reason is that…well, you don’t need to.  There is no standard as to what a woman needs to sound like (or look like, for that matter).  Does Lauren Bacall or Kathleen Turner have too deep of a voice to be considered feminine?

But there is a difference.  It’s hard not to have a shift in almost everything as I go from one gender to another.  I sit differently in a skirt, I walk differently in heels, I shift my body differently as I move in a dress…and there is a subtle change in my voice and how I speak.  Any change in my movements feels natural.  I tend to speak a little lighter, a little softer, and my tone shifts slightly too.  I do feel I have a small difference between the two, but nothing as drastic as intentionally feminizing my voice.

Love, Hannah

 

 

Ask Hannah!

Who carries the men’s blue lace shorts lingerie. Wish I could attach photo but they are a bit short and not as loose in the legs as the one on Xdress website, the black ones.

I really have no idea.  I am sure there are many blue lace shorts so I’m sorry that I can’t be more helpful.

If you think about it, this is really an amazing time for those who are non-gender conforming , crossdressers and anyone that loves to wear pretty undies.  You can shop for a variety of options at Xdress, Bodyaware, HommeMystere, Glamour Boutique and whatever else you find by googling “lingerie for men”.

I can’t speak for everyone, but lingerie was definitely my gateway to this wonderful world and ultimately to who I am today.

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I am trying to help a trans friend of mine find her first really good wig. She has been saving for awhile.  Not a theatrical wig but a natural everyday.  Do you have a recommendation as to where to go?

For some of us, our wig is the most defining part of our presentation.  I always feel my hair completes my look.  Choosing your hair is a very important and a very personal decision.

It’s also a big change.  When I present as male, my hair is short and easy to maintain.  However, as Hannah my hair is long and needs a lot more attention.  Getting used to going from short hair to shoulder-length locks takes some time.  I would recommend investing in a less expensive wig at first and getting used to your new look.  It took me a few styles before I found one that was really ME.  I’m glad I didn’t a lot of money on one wig and only to find out that look wasn’t right for me.  Most of us try a few different styles before we find the right one.  Once you find the right one, then it might be time to invest a higher quality wig in that style.

Make sure you educate yourself between the differences between different types of wigs, such a synthetic or human hair.

I started to buy my hair online when I wanted to try different styles and looks.  I was able to try different styles and lengths without spending a lot of money.  Of course, you get what you pay for and many times I ended up replacing it after a few months but it was good to be able to try different looks before I found the right style.

I recommend visiting Sunny’s Hair in Uptown if you want to shop in person.

I recommend checking out Corrie Dubay‘s advice on taking care of your wig, as well.

Love, Hannah

 

Ask Hannah!

I have not seen your blog on Xdress for a while. just wonder why

That is an excellent question.

Not too long ago, I started to blog for Xdress and I had a lot of fun doing it.  There was talk of an expanding partnership and I was told the staff was very happy with my articles and they generated a lot of comments.

I wrote about a few blogs for them and then…nothing.  I would submit a blog and would be asked for another one shortly after it posted but I haven’t from them in a while.  I have reached out to them but still nothing.

I am not sure what happened, but if you would like to see my blogs on Xdress again, drop them a line and let them know!

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

A que edad empezaste a vestir y cuando te tomaste tu primera foto video.
Quien fue la primera persona que te vio vestida como una linda chica

Besos

Translation courtesy of Google:

At what age did you start to dress and when did you take your first video photo. Who was the first person who saw you dressed as a nice girl

Kisses

I’ve been dressing my entire life.  I think my earliest memory was when I was probably around four or so.  There was never a time when I didn’t dress.

I’ve never taken any video, but I started to take (and post) photos when I was in my mid-thirties, after I started to wear makeup and a wig.

My wife was the first person who saw me fully dressed, from wig, to makeup to clothes.

Love, Hannah