Ask Hannah!

Should one dress their age?

Not necessarily.  I wear what I want to wear, however, I do take fashion cues from women that are around my age.  There are a lot of really cute styles that girls that are twenty years younger than I am wear, but as cute as they are, they are clearly meant for someone that is not my age.

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The outfit above is the cutest, girliest outfit I own.  I heart it.  Every time I see photos of it or it hanging in my closet I want to wear it.  The outfit below looks like someone a girl in early twenties would wear.  It’s cute, and I think I pull it off.

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Once a t-girl (or crossdresser or someone who is bi-gender, gender-fluid, or… a human) has accepted and embraced who they are, a whole world of clothes and fashion and style has opened up to them.  They will wear whatever they want, thank you very much, regardless of which gender it is “supposed to be for”.

The two outfits above, granted, are not typical of what a girl my age would wear.  But I don’t think dressing your age is necessary.  That concept seems vague and arbitrary.  Instead I dress for the occasion.  I use what I am doing or where I am going as my guideline.

The two outfits above are perfect for an anime convention or shopping, or example.  Not necessarily a good fit for the office or a wedding.  Of the two outfits below, one is perfect for brunch, the other is, well, appropriate for, well, I’ll let you decide.

Clothes make a statement.  Both of these dresses do exactly that.  One dress is saying she would love a mimosa, the other says… again, you make that call.

Think about what you are doing, and where you are going.  Think about what others will likely be wearing.  Using this as your guide will help immensely.  When in doubt, I prefer to take a chance on dressing up rather than dressing down.  I tend to be the most overdressed girl at the mall, and that’s fine with me.

I hope this helps!

Love, Hannah

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Ask Hannah!

I am married and basically quite straight in preferences, however, certain trans gender women I find just irresistible, so I flirt a lot on line….am I a cheating hubby?
I never meet anyone in person.

Every relationship is different and unique.  Every relationship has aspects of it that are hidden to the rest of the world.  Mine included.  If our friends and family knew about the conversations my wife and I have about eyeliner and fashion they would be very surprised.

Some relationships are not as monogamous as others.  Some marriages are open, some partners don’t mind if their spouses chat (or more) with others online.  I can’t say if you are cheating, but perhaps ask yourself how would your spouse react if they knew about your online chats.

It is not uncommon for girls like us to get lost in the pink fog and make decisions that are not typical of our normal routine.  Sometimes these decisions are relatively harmless, such as spending money that we shouldn’t on stilettos, but sometimes these choices are damaging and hurtful to our partner.

The fact that you are asking makes me wonder if you feel guilty about what you are doing, and if you are feeling guilty then you are probably doing something you know you shouldn’t.

Love, Hannah

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Ask Hannah!

I love my big long beard. Santa would be jealous of it. I have had this beard for over 20 years. Plus I love to crossdress. That comes to the problem I’m about to ask.

How can I pull off crossdressing and big fluffy beard at the same time, without looking like a fool? I want my two favorite things to blend together: The beard and crossdressing.

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Even after 20 years, there’s no beard in the world that can stop you from crossdressing.  I believe that crossdressing is simply wearing clothes that are typically associated with the opposite gender, if we look at gender as binary (i.e. the short-sighted thinking that gender is classified as either male or female).  Put on a pair of panties, eyeliner, or a wedding dress, and beard or no beard, you are crossdressing.

But I understand what you are asking.  We all have features that we feel contradict with feeling and looking femmeWe all have days where we just don’t feel pretty.  Crossdressing is easy.  It’s super easy.  When I was 18 I had to gather up the courage to go into Target to duck in and out of the lingerie section and pick out a pair of panties and bra that I hoped to God would fit.  I also prayed that no one would see me.  These days a couple clicks is all it takes to find beautiful lingerie.

When it comes to this side of us, we need to think of this as what we want to accomplish.  If you ask me how to crossdress, I’ll tell you to slip on a cute pair of panties and you are crossdressing.  Ta-da!  But that is not helpful.  Instead, we need to think of our goals.

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If we look at crossdressing as simply wearing clothes that are typically thought of as “girl clothes” a beard is not going to stop you from crossdressing.  But if you are wondering how to make a beard work with a wig, full makeup, a cute dress, and heels, well, that’s a different story.  Facial hair is one of the most masculine features that someone can have.  That’s not to say that only men have facial hair, many cis-women do.  But let’s be honest, there probably is not a lot of women who have a beard as fabulous as yours.

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Many of us have features that we don’t want to change (your beard, for example) or unable to (my giant hands and height and shoulders and….I could go on) that we feel work against us when we are en femme.  If we can’t change, or we don’t want to change something about us, then we need to embrace it.  I can’t do anything about how tall I am, so I embrace it, and I rock my height.  I used to think I should only wear flats to help myself blend in a little, but I could be barefoot and still be super tall.  So, I embrace it and choose to wear four inch stilettos.  If I am going to be tall, I am going to be REALLY tall.

If you want to keep your beard, then rock that beard.  You can’t hide it, so show it off, girl.

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I have that “guy” shape, almost cylindrical. I saw that you wear hip pads and on Amazon there are a gazillion types and prices. Do you have a type that you’d recommend to get a more feminine shape?

I also have that same shape as you and yes, I wear thigh pads from The Breast Form Store.

I didn’t think that I would ever be a forms/pads girl, but I am never, ever, going back.  Of course, a girl doesn’t need to have curves or a certain shape to be a girl, but my God, I love the way I look.

I didn’t think that pads would make that much of a difference but look at the two photos below.  Both dresses are form fitting but it’s obvious the changes thigh pads makes.  You could read my review of my Jolie Thigh Pads here.

In addition to my shape, clothes fit different.  In most cases they fit better.  Most dresses and skirts were designed for someone with hips and my thigh pads do the trick.  The only drawback, I suppose, is that tights and nylons have to work a little harder to fit as they need to accommodate the pads.

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As you said, there are many options from Amazon available.  Like makeup, you get what you pay for with pads and forms.  Speaking frankly, pads are not cheap, but they are meant to last a very, very long time.  I’ve had my thigh pads for over a year now and I wear them all the time and there’s been no sign of tearing or the adhesive diminishing.  I’m sure there are cheaper options out there, but I believe in paying for quality.  It goes back to one of my beliefs that creating your femme self takes money, patience, and time.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

416I am jealous of your beautiful skin and would love to know what you do. I have always loved natural porcelain white skin, I guess it is because it is what I have and I have always struggled keeping mine looking somewhat acceptable. I love to do photos, not to mention how great it feels, with no stockings but I hate my reddish knees and am always hitting my shins and bruising them or scraping them up.

Thank you!

However, professional photos with editing and touch ups, along with the many different filters can often make someone look better than they really do.  🙂

Healthy skin starts with simply being healthy.  I drink a lot of water which helps flush toxins out of your body leading to a better complexion.  Eating and drinking a lot of sugary foods leads to acne.  I also wash my face with an apricot scrub which helps exfoliate (removes damaged skin).

When I shave my face, I do so in the shower.  The warm water opens up my pores and allows for a smoother and gentler shave.  After I shave I use a moisturizer to combat the dry skin that is a result of shaving.

So, nothing too drastic.  A couple extra steps added to what most of us are probably already doing.

When it comes to my legs I have two different routines depending on what my plans are.  I keep all of my skin smooth and every week I take on the tedious task of removing my body hair.  I used to use a razor and shaving cream for my arms, but I recently started using Nair for my chest and arms.  This is a quicker, easier method and helps me avoid the inevitable nicks on my arms from a razor.

If I am not going en femme the next day, I will also use Nair on my legs, particularly the back of my legs.  Again, Nair is quick and easy.  But if I am going out I will use a razor on my legs for a smoother shave.  The Nair does a great job, but there may be stray hairs here and there I miss.

I always wear tights or stockings, even nude ones.  I like how the nude stockings will even out my skin tone.  If I am rocking fishnets I will still wear nude stockings and wear the fishnets over them.

Love, Hannah

 

Ask Hannah!

Tell us what herbs you take to increase estrogen levels, and improve your femme  figure.  I have struggled with being bi-gender all my life. I am happily married with children and grandchildren, so my time as my femme self is limited, but I enjoy the body changes that certain herbs I take have. What are your secrets to maintaining your feminine features?

I don’t take anything like that.  I would advise anyone to be very careful of taking anything like that unless prescribed by a doctor.

Everything I am is pure McKnight.  Well, except for my breast forms, my gaff, my thigh pads, and contouring.  🙂

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I had an epiphany a while ago when I realized that thinking of our bodies, our heights, our features as either masculine or feminine was holding me back.  I used to think that it was important, essential, and possible to “pass”.  But one day I wondered… what is the height limit for a girl?  How tall is too tall to be feminine?  Thinking in terms like that, I realized how silly it was to assign arbitrary gender standards to someone.  Once I had this thought, I realized that there really isn’t such a thing as passing.   This freedom led to me finally being ready to leave the house en femme and I’ve never looked back.

Love, Hannah

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Ask Hannah!

I am in the process of transitioning from male to female and I am wondering whether I should present myself to my friends and relatives in female attire or male attire. No one knows about my decision except my wife. Our daughter is somewhat suspicious but she has not approached either one of us. What is your opinion ?? I will soon need to live as a woman for an entire year before I start the entire process. I am already on hormones and some body changes have already started (subtle). My wife is very supportive and is looking forward to us being best girlfriends. Your help will we greatly appreciated.

Coming out is one of the biggest steps you will ever take in life, and it will have ripple effects impacting everyone you know.  Some relationships may change and may become strained or strengthened.

To almost every one of us, identifying as transgender means something different.  Your transition is a moment in your life that is different than anything I have experienced, and your journey and gender identity is different than my own.  Our situations are very different, so although I can’t speak from experience, I hope I can be helpful.

As I mentioned before, coming out impacts everyone in your life… especially our partners.  Not only does this affect our relationships with our families, friends, neighbors and anyone else, it will also affect our partner’s relationships too.  It sounds like you are doing the right thing and taking each step alongside your wife.  Keep doing that.  When I have come out to others previously it was always after discussing it with my wife.  She’s very good at helping me sort my thoughts and helping me prepare for anything in my life, whether it is a talk like this or everything else.  It’s also a matter of courtesy to give her a heads up about who knows about this part of my life.

If you are working with a therapist, particularly a gender therapist, I would absolutely heed their advice.  They’re more qualified to guide you through this, especially as it pertains to your family.

That being said, if I were to come out to anyone else in my life, I would have a conversation with them first in male mode.  This revelation is a lot to take in, and the talk before them seeing Hannah would be a little less overwhelming.  If the person I came out to wanted to meet Hannah, then I would show them a photo before meeting them en femme.  The photo would also prepare them for what Hannah looks like. Meeting someone as a different gender identity and presenting as a different gender is a lot to process, and a photo first may help.

Plus I look better in photos than in real life.  🙂

Come out to people as you and your wife feel it is appropriate.  If you are already showing changes in your physical appearance you may want to do it sooner rather than later as people will start noticing (and likely talking and speculating about) what they are seeing.  It’s good to be able to control the narrative.  If I had a strong suspicion that someone knew about Hannah, or saw panties peeping out under my jeans, I would have a conversation with them to get ahead of it.  I would want to make sure that they would keep what they noticed, or suspected, a private matter.  Basically I would want to stop them before they started to gossip.

I hope this is helpful and I wish you the best of luck.

Love, Hannah