I am looking for a place that will dress me up as a girl. I would like to be waxed or shaved before they make me over, is there a place like that? I have tried to buy stuff but it never fits.
Transformation studios offer a variety of services. Some offer wigs, clothes, makeup, and/or photography. However, waxing is a complicated process that requires licensing in many (if not all) states. I suppose it’s not unlikely that a transformation studio may offer waxing as one of their services but I am not aware of any.
The easiest way to find a transformation studio is googling ‘transformation studio’ and the city you’re looking for, such as “transformation studio Minneapolis”. You may need to vary the search terms a bit, such as googling “crossdressing services (city name)”, for example. Services like the one you’re looking for aren’t super common but they are out there. The bigger the city, the more likely you’ll find one.
Alternatively you can make an appointment at a waxing salon (such as Waxing the City or European Wax Center) before you visit a transformation studio, too.
If you are having trouble finding clothes, the best thing to do is take your measurements. Girl clothes use a different sizing method than boy clothes and you have to take into consideration your hips AND waist. And! A size 12 isn’t the same from one designer to the next. Once you have your measurements and compare them to the sizing charts you see online (if you’re shopping online), you’ll have an easier time.
Do you read stories from sites like Fictionmania? I love it! I so admire that you can go out dressed like you do. Have you ever done hormones or thought of doing this?
Fictionmania is a website which features fictional stories focusing on the transgender community. I don’t read t-girl fiction anymore even though I really love reading. In my late teens I sought out ANYTHING that had to do with other crossdressers, including magazines and fiction anthologies about the LGBTQ+ community. Does anyone remember the magazines Transformation or Girl Talk?
I used to like reading stories about girls like me, even though they were fictional. Most of these stories followed the same premises, usually a young man who started to crossdress at the urging of a family member. As a t-girl I love reading about clothes and a lot of these fictional stories really went into detail about what the characters were wearing. I would live a little vicariously through the characters as they went shopping and tried on beautiful dresses. A lot of the stories, however, would eventually venture into characters having sex and that’s when I stopped reading. This side of me was never a fetish for me and there was no connection to me wanting to dress like a girl and wanting to have sex.
Hormones, surgery, t-blockers… none of that feels right for me. I enjoy both of my genders and have no desire to pick one. I love having options.
Occasionally you mention your love for leggings, praising their sexy look and comfort. I only once purchased leggings to give them a try but was disappointed with the wrong sizing, boring fabric and baggy look. I gave them to my wife without thinking twice. But I STILL want the experience of leggings YOU write about. Could you please give me some guidance on how to locate those stores that carry the brands, style, fabric and fit you love??
Like almost everything we shop for, leggings really require you to know your measurements, especially your waist and hips. I wear leggings in boy mode, never en femme so when I take my measurements for leggings I do so without my hip pads.
I wear a size 12 (or a medium) in skirts so I use that as my guide for leggings. Leggings are pretty stretchy so if I am between sizes on a pair I go for the smaller of the sizes. Length might be an issue for a girl like us, but I care more about the fit around my waist. The leggings I am wearing now go down just below my calf so I think it’s a good length for them.
I do have several pairs that I wear on a regular basis. I have the pair I am wearing now which is a nice, soft cotton blend. I have a pair of femme leggings I run in, but my favorite pair is a faux leather from En Femme.
This is something you may need to do some trial and error shopping with, but thankfully leggings aren’t too expensive. I get most of my leggings from Target which are about ten to twenty dollars a pair.
What’s your advice on hair removal? I love being smooth, although I can’t be completely smooth due to circumstance. I usually shave, then sometimes exfoliate, but I have used hair removal cream, which gave a really smooth feel, but I felt didn’t remove 100% of the hair (it was a cheap version from a thrift shop!). Also, not sure where it’s safe to use!
It depends on what you can afford. Laser is the most effective and it’s permanent but I certainly can’t afford that, so I have a pretty lengthy shaving process.
I start with Nair but I used to use Veet. I think Nair is more effective but Veet is a little more gentle on my skin. Like any product you should absolutely read and adhere to the instructions. There are parts of your body that you really shouldn’t use creams like this, and you should always test the product on a small area of your body before covering your skin with it. If the instructions say to leave it on your skin for a maximum of ten minutes, believe them. There’s a reason for that. I do hair removal once a week because it’s easier to maintain as opposed to completely starting over. I also like being smooth and hair regrowth can be itchy.
Once I have covered my skin with Nair, I wait ten minutes before showering it off. I don’t let water simply rinse it off, I use a loofah to gently scrub off the hair, too. This process removes most of my body hair. I then use shaving cream and a razor over my legs, chest, arms, and well, everywhere. Nair is effective (for me) but it isn’t perfect. It’s not uncommon for me to find a strip of arm hair that I missed when I applied Nair, so shaving is essential.
All in all it takes about 45 minutes if I want to be completely smooth (and who doesn’t want to be completely smooth??). Exfoliating is important as it helps keep your skin clean and clear, especially your face. Like most things in the world of en femme, you get what you pay for. I wouldn’t trust a cheap version of anything when it comes to something I put on my skin.
I believe in the past, the MN T-girls had a booth at the Pride Festival. Will you have one this year?
The MN T-Girls have had booths at previous Pride Festivals. I believe it’s important that if a support group is able to have representation at Pride, then by all means they should do what they can to be there, especially if the group fills a niche. There are a lot of wonderful support groups for girls like us in Minnesota, such as PFLAG and Minnesota Transgender Alliance. One aspect that I think helps the MN T-Girls differentiate itself is that I think of the group as a social group. Each month we do something out in the community. I think this is an important distinction. As a t-girl there were, and will always be, things that I want to do en femme. Go out to dinner, visit the museum, and of course, go shopping. It’s intimidating to do these things for the first time, especially alone. I thought a group that focused on doing everyday things like this would be helpful in terms of easing girls like me into experiencing all the things the world can offer en femme.
But this year Pride kind of snuck up on me. I wasn’t sure if there was going to be a festival this year and when it was announced I realized I didn’t have the time or the mental bandwidth to set up our booth registration and make other arrangements. So, the MN T-Girls will not be there this year, at least not officially. I will be there on the Saturday of the festival so if you see me, say hi!
I was wondering what I could use to give me some hip shape. I know there are lots of things online to buy but is there something I could use and make them myself?
I’m sorry, I won’t be too helpful here. I am not sure how you could make your own. I know I say it a lot, but crossdressing takes time, money, and patience. I feel that this side of me requires investing, whether it is time or money. My corset, thigh pads and hip pads aren’t cheap, but they are absolutely an investment. They give me the shape I want and the quality is A-MAZ-ING. My pads stay on, they stay in place, they move with me. I don’t even feel them when I wear them. I can’t imagine there’s anything that someone could make themselves and still have even a fraction of the quality that my thigh pads have.
But since we’re talking about it, I am much more likely to spend money on clothes than, well, accessories, if you will. It’s much more fun to buy dresses than jewelry or foundation. I would much rather buy a couple cute outfits, but makeup and necklaces are also essential. A new dress might be more fun to wear than thigh pads, but no matter how the dress is designed, a dress can’t give me the figure I want, my thigh pads do that for me, and they’ll likely do that for you.
Crossdressing and presenting en femme means something different for every transperson in the world. And although not all of us identify as trans, I use the term in the context of anyone who wears, well, anything that is not typically associated with the gender they were assigned at birth. A boy wearing eyeliner, a guy wearing panties under his suit, a drag queen strutting on stage, and someone like myself.
Makeup isn’t cheap, my makeup lesson wasn’t cheap, the heels I strut in aren’t cheap, my gaffs aren’t cheap, my wig isn’t cheap. It costs a LOT for me to be en femme. Of course, this is not to say that you need to spend a lot on a wig or anything else, but I have found that (for the most part) you get what you pay for. A wig that uses real human hair (whether it is 100% human hair or a 50/50 blend with synthetic hair) is a lot more expensive than other options out there, but the quality difference is huge. I can buy a bottle of Covergirl foundation for ten dollars but it won’t do what I need my foundation to do. I need my Dermablend to work as a base for color correcting which usually costs around forty dollars. I can pay a makeup artist for a makeover which will always, always look better than if I do my own face. Crossdressing takes time, money, and patience. That’s my reality.
I am very curious about crossdressing, please let me know where I can shop.
It all depends on what you’re looking for.
Every t-girl/crossdresser is different and we all need and want different things. Thankfully there are quite a few options out there. When it comes to retailers that design for and market to our community, I shop online with En Femme, Xdress, Homme Mystere, Glamour Boutique, and the Breast Form Store the most.
I enjoy your site and frequent it fairly regularly, but I keep wondering why you keep doing all these photo shoots. Do you pay for these yourself, with maybe some being covered by some of the companies you review? If you pay for them yourself, what purpose do they serve? Is it just to have photos for your blog posts?
This is an excellent question.
One reason I do photo shoots is to take pictures for products I am reviewing. It’s one thing to talk about how amazing breast forms are or how cute a dress is, it’s another to show something off. I believe it also lends some credibility to whatever it is I am writing about, too. Usually when I do a photo shoot it is because I was sent something to review and if I am going to do all the work to plan a shoot for one outfit or product, I may as well take other photos too. Some shoots are paid by the company I am modeling for, and some I pay for.
Of course, not every shoot is for a product review. Some shoots are to mark a milestone, in a way. Last year I did a shoot that featured a couple of outfits that I never thought I’d be brave enough to wear… but I got over it. I had always wanted to wear dresses with halter and/or thin straps but I was afraid that my shoulders were too masculine to pull them off. My body didn’t change, it was still the same as it always was, but what shifted was my thinking and I stopped caring about how my shoulders looked. I did the shoot to symbolize my, uh, getting over it.
I did another shoot in May of this year that I jokingly referred to a “Because I’m Alive” shoot. I was feeling a mix of gratitude and joy and elation from simply being happy with life and bought some super cute dresses to wear.
I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that some shoots are done for sheer vanity. I like how I look, I love looking at photos of myself in a cute dress and an amazing makeover. I also try to keep my website fresh with recent photos and regular shoots are a good way to do that.
I do shoots for a variety of reasons, and they are a lot of work. But I wouldn’t do them if they weren’t fun, either. It’s a lot of fun to work with my friend and photographer and to shoot in places she picks. Whether we’re shooting in downtown Minneapolis or at a park or in a cool hotel, she has a good eye for interesting and fun locations. She’s also great at getting the right angle and pose and lighting so getting the photos back is also a lot of fun and validating. I want to look cute, I want to look feminine and seeing photos that capture this side of me makes me incredibly happy.