My problem is that the caps in wigs aren’t deep enough for men, they don’t stay on. I need to find a way to keep a wig on to the point that if I had my hair pulled it would really be hard for it to be taken off or fall.
Like almost everything else we want to wear, wigs come in different sizes. Before shopping for a wig, measure your crown (basically the top of your head) so you know what size you are. Some wigs are adjustable, most have an elastic band so there is a little stretch. Wigs can be pricey (remember, crossdressing takes time, patience, and money) so it’s important that you do your research before you buy. Reading descriptions and online reviews (if possible) are pretty helpful.
There are ways to secure your wig including clips and even glue. Depending on what method you use it may not withstand getting pulled hard, of course. I have found online tutorials and YouTube videos on drag to be especially helpful when it comes to wearing wigs. As most drag queens perform it’s pretty essential that their fabulous hair stays in place so some of the tricks they use are very helpful for everyday wear.
What do you wear when underdressed? Thigh highs, stockings and garters? Worried about bra lines and such? How do you get out of your house dressed in daytime? Do you go out in only panties and dress — no bra, hose etc? Have you ever felt threatened while dressed?
I always wear panties, sometimes a bra or matching cami. I almost always choose stockings and garters when I am en femme.
Yes, which is why I usually won’t wear a bra in boy mode if I need to leave the house.
I dress to the nines, apply my makeup, step into my heels and strut out the door.
I always wear a bra and stockings or tights.
Not really? Sometimes I get mean looks but thankfully I have never felt endangered when I am out.
Hi Hannah. I’ve taken to dressing up and have been out a few times in low public areas. I don’t want to go down the road of shaving my legs or arms yet.On those days I did go out I wore black stockings.Now with the warmer weather here, what would be best thing to do? I could wear jeans but sometimes it’s too hot for those. I have got a few dresses but would I need to wear something to cover my legs. Would I have to stick to stockings or tights? Also, I’m struggling to get my eyes right, probably due to still having a shaky hand. Any tips?
When it comes to makeup, the only thing you can do to overcome a shaky hand is practice, practice, practice. When I was learning eyeliner my lines were usually shaky and smudgy but the more I did it the more progress I made. Don’t practice right before you go out, practice when you have time to do your makeup, wash it off, and try again. A trick I learned when I was first doing eyeliner was drawing small dots on my eyelid and then connecting the dots to make the line. Makeup tutorials can help, but it all comes down to practice and learning through repetition.
I always, always, always wear stockings or tights when I go out, no matter how hot it is. I wear stockings because they help even out my skin color and well, because I love the way a stocking looks. I tend to wear brighter colors, or floral patterns in the summer so nude stockings and tights tend to look better with what I am wearing compared to black stockings. If you aren’t ready or able to shave your legs you may want to consider wearing two pairs of stockings to help hide your leg hair. But just because it’s summer it doesn’t mean I’ll avoid black stockings. If the dress or occasion pairs better with black, then I’ll go with black, no matter the season. I tend to wear black stockings with skirts for some reason.
And one more thing, you can do what you want, but I never wear non-nude stockings or tights with open toe heels. I think you can get (barely) get away with nude stockings (and fishnets) with open toe heels but anything else looks a little tacky.
If it’s too hot for jeans, have you considered leggings? Leggings are super cute and super femme and can be paired with a cute top, certain dresses, or a casual t-shirt. The versatility of leggings is a-maz-ing.
June is Pride month and with how many businesses changing their social media profiles to rainbows you’d think EVERYONE loved us. And why wouldn’t they? We’re all so cute.
I can’t speak for every single business out there, but if we look at the major chains (such as the Targets and Walmarts and Starbucks of the world), all of them want our money, and they want people to shop at their stores. Of course no store has a written discrimination policy. It all comes down to training their employees to treat every guest/shopper with great customer service. I can’t imagine any company explicitly writing in their training manual to be rude/mean to members of the LGBTQ+ community. That being said, some companies do more than others to make their shoppers feel more welcome and included than others. A few years ago Target announced that guests at their stores are invited to use the restrooms and fitting rooms that align with their gender identity.
However, does this mean every t-girl and crossdresser will have a trouble-free shopping experience at Target? No. Remember, stores are run by people. Stores are visited by people. Target’s corporate policy seems to be inclusive, but the company’s mission statement can only go so far. Sure, the cashier was trained to provide friendly customer service, but if they hate transpeople there’s a chance they’ll be rude to a girl like us, no matter what Target’s policy is. Same thing with customers. The first time I went out en femme I went to Target and the employees were nice, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a customer or two looked at me in a less than friendly way.
When it comes to a local business, I am a lot more confident I am welcome there if they have a “All Are Welcome Here” sign in their window, or something similar. Businesses in more liberal parts of a city are likely to have more experience with someone from the LGBTQ+ community than a more rural area. And yes I know there is an overly generalized statement and there are exceptions to everything. I wish I I could provide a list of all the stores in the world that are friendly to the LGBTQ+ community but that is impossible. Really the only way you’ll know is if you go there and decide for yourself if they deserve your money.
I have a 45”bust and a 42”waist, what dress size would you suggest?
Every dress is different. Every store, designer, website is different. I am a size 12 with Dress Barn, I am a size L with En Femme.
If you shop online you’ll often see a size chart similar to the one below:
As you can see, knowing your measurements is crucial. Just because I am 12 with one retailer it doesn’t mean I am a 12 with a different store. Based on your measurements you would be an XXL in this chart. Are you always this size? It depends on the designer and the store.
So, how do you take your measurements? Glad you asked.
Have you done a blog post (or a couple) that describe how your wife and you first started down the trans path together? I know you told her early on. I’m interested in how she was at first, how you’ve grown together with this, and how she helps and related to you today. My wife knows I underdress (several drawers full) and has been great, but I’m leery of pushing too hard and causing an issue.
Oh, and on a lighter note, who sells the cutest floral panties now? 🙂
I think all I have to say (and it’s a LOT lol) on our relationship (and relationships in general) can be read here.
As for panties, I am in love with a pair from En Femme at the moment. I don’t normally like boyshort styles but their Satin Floral Hot Pant is cute and comfortable!
I was wondering if you ever came across a person that struggled with their CD life and something that is very personal to people and their faith. I am a person that has struggled with this conflict within myself. I deeply desire to live as a CD and maybe even Trans, but I also have this faith that I have grown up with that tells me that what I am doing is wrong. Have you talked with anyone else with problems like this?
I was raised Catholic and up until I was in my final days of high school I spent every Sunday in church. I was told how EVERYTHING you did, thought, and said mattered to God. Everything was being used to determine whether or not I would go to heaven or, uh, somewhere else when I died. If everything I did was noticed, then I’m sure God saw me trying on my sister’s clothes and knew I was longing at the dresses I saw girls wore. I’m sure what I was wearing (or wanting to wear) would be considered when it came to my afterlife. Of course confession is used to absolve those “sins” but I certainly was not going to tell the priest about what I tried on in secret.
God created the heavens and the earth and everything in the universe, we were told. God loves us. These were some of the things we were taught every single day growing up. It’s natural to question one’s faith, and for me I wondered if God was as powerful and as loving as we were told, did it really matter that I wore panties? Did God REALLY care? And if this was “wrong”, why was it wrong? Did the Bible say it was? I mean, they are just clothes, for heaven’s sake. My relationship with God has nothing to do with religion. I don’t base any of my life on what the Bible or the Vatican or whatever says.
Religion, faith, gender… these are all very personal things and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you what is right and what is wrong (even me).
I noticed that you are getting very comfortable wearing sleeveless dresses. You look great wearing them, besides that is what the women wear. So you are fitting in very nicely. I am wondering what advice can you give to t-girls on how to be confident wearing sleeveless tops and dresses?
I wasn’t always brave enough to wear dresses with thin straps. I used to think my shoulders and arms were toooooo masculine to wear spaghetti straps. But I started to take my own advice when I saw a really cute dress that I really wanted to wear. The hill that I will die on is there is no such thing as passing. No one has a body that is too tall, too wide, too muscular, too ANYTHING to be femme. I am a tall t-girl but there are cis-girls that are taller than me. Are they too tall to be beautiful? Of course not. Am I too tall to be beautiful? Of course not. Are you too tall to be beautiful? Of course not.
This is all easier said than done, obviously. It’s easy to believe something, it’s easy to say this, but doing something requires something else. For me, it required two things. I needed to stop caring (and wondering) what other people thought (and that included what I myself thought). I also needed a reminder that life is short. When the first weeks of COVID hit life was turned inside out. Things were falling apart, things were changing quickly. Things we took for granted, like going outside of the house, seeing friends, and shopping were all very different and weren’t the safest things to do. I started to think about all the things I still wanted to do and how I didn’t want to live my life with any regrets.
And yes, it’s shallow but I didn’t want to have a life where I didn’t wear a certain outfit that I loved. I found a dress that I loved but it would show off my shoulders in a way that I never did before. I didn’t think I could pull it off. But fueled by the new uncertainty of the world I bought the dress and I promised myself I would wear it out.
And I DID. And I looked amazing. And I know that’s egotistical.
I wish I had let myself wear dresses like this sooner. I wish I didn’t let myself stop myself. Now I have beautiful and fun dresses without sleeves, with halter ties, and thin straps. I also have a confidence that I didn’t think I would.
As for advice all I can say is to wear what you want. Stop caring what others think (because unless you specifically ask someone you won’t know what they think anyway). In terms of practical advice, have a strapless bra and a cover up. When I wore the animal print dress in the picture above I had a long cardigan with it. It was a little chilly that morning and it helped keep me warm, but I also looked at it as armor that I could put back on (or leave on) if I wasn’t quite ready to flaunt what I got.
Your skin always looks fabulous. What’s your routine, specifically, what’s your nighttime routine? Do you use a serum? Eye cream, retinol? I’m trying to establish a night skin care routine to help keep my (rapidly aging) skin nice as I can, and would appreciate your feedback. Thanks!
Thank you! Please keep in mind that my photos are taken by a professional photographer and touch-ups are almost always used.
Having said that, my routine is pretty minimal. I wash my face thoroughly each morning and before I go to bed. I use a exfoliating scrub (St. Ives) and that is really about it. I have a pretty healthy diet and get a lot of exercise, time outside, and I drink a lot of water. I avoid candy and fast food and these are all contributing factors to a healthy diet, weight, and skin.
Oh! Makeup itself is a godsend. Concealer and contouring can really help reduce eye puffiness and dark circles, too.