New Adventures

I have always loved lingerie.  It was my first introduction to this beautiful world and today it helps me stay connected to my femme side when I am in boy mode.  Growing up I had the occasional chance to try on a bra, nylons, and panties.  I was fascinated with and in love with the pairing of stockings and a garter belt and for a long time I had dreamed of wearing such beautiful lingerie.  The mannequins at department stores always drew my eye when they modeled such amazing lingerie.  When I was in my teens and started to drive I finally had the courage and the ability to purchase a garter belt and  it was everything I had dreamed of.  


As time passed I started to buy and wear matching bras, panties, and garter belts under my boy clothes.  There was, and still is, something so irresistible about matching lingerie.  For me, it’s a requirement.  As I became more emboldened and braver I started to add corsets and other lingerie to my closet (but would quickly be purged, sadly).  Lingerie options always seemed endless and they still are.  


When I moved towards actual clothes, it was an entirely new world.  Again the choices and the potential were limitless.  There’s everything from cute skirts paired with a comfy cardigan to evening gowns.  Little black dresses to flirty dresses.  Leather, silk, satin, PVC, lace… I wanted to (and do) wear it all.  It was an amazing feeling to look for, and add to my wardrobe, new styles, new clothes, new… everything.  


It was the same feeling, and the same excitement, when it came to shoes.  Stilettos, pumps, thigh-high PVC boots…  There’s a thrill knowing that there’s a perfect shoe for any outfit you can think of, and vice-versa.  


Oh!  And makeup is the same.  There are as many looks as there are outfits and occasions.  Sultry, vampy, everyday, glam, goth…


I loved the thrill of newness.  Wearing something I had always dreamed of.  Looking like I always fantasized about.  Photo shoots give me an opportunity to wear anything I have always wanted… from lingerie to evening wear, to casual, to fantasy.  There is an outfit, a shoe, a look for any feeling or event.  Feeling cute?  Wear a cute dress.  Feeling invincible?  Slip into your stilettos.  Going to a wedding reception or the mall?  You get the idea.






But eventually one might feel that they have done it all.  If there’s something I wanted to wear more than likely it’s hanging up in my closet or in a drawer.  The newness kind of wears off a little.  It’s true that fashion is always changing so there is always going to be a new look, a new style that catches our eyelinered eye so that’s fun, but for me my excitement is turning towards experiences and what I could wear on a new adventure.  Now that COVID restrictions are easing (Minnesota’s mask mandate is scheduled to end on July 1st!) I am starting to let myself fantasize about potential experiences.  Where can I go?  What can I do?  What will I wear?


I think of everything I dream of doing, getting ready for a wedding or even a formal event, such as a gala, are at the top of the list.  How fun would it be to spend hours at the mall looking for the perfect dress?  It could be a prom dress, perhaps a bridesmaid dress, or even a head-turning floor-length ball gown.  How glamorous would it be to spend the evening dressed in a breathtaking dress?

  


Prior to the pandemic I traveled for my job.  And I did it a lot.  It became something I was used to.  But flying pretty?  Oh my.  It’s like when I first went out en femme to simply get a cup of coffee.  Getting a coffee was something I did everyday but it was a new experience doing it in a skirt and heels.  I think about flying pretty a lot… what I would wear, where I would go, what I would do.  How amazing would that be? 


I’m always looking for a new style to wear, and always thinking about a new adventure.  What are you dreaming about these days?


Love, Hannah 

Ask Hannah!

I noticed that you are getting very comfortable wearing sleeveless dresses. You look great wearing them, besides that is what the women wear. So you are fitting in very nicely. I am wondering what advice can you give to t-girls on how to be confident wearing sleeveless tops and dresses? 


I wasn’t always brave enough to wear dresses with thin straps.  I used to think my shoulders and arms were toooooo masculine to wear spaghetti straps.  But I started to take my own advice when I saw a really cute dress that I really wanted to wear.  The hill that I will die on is there is no such thing as passing.  No one has a body that is too tall, too wide, too muscular, too ANYTHING to be femme.  I am a tall t-girl but there are cis-girls that are taller than me.  Are they too tall to be beautiful?  Of course not.  Am I too tall to be beautiful?  Of course not.  Are you too tall to be beautiful?  Of course not.


This is all easier said than done, obviously.  It’s easy to believe something, it’s easy to say this, but doing something requires something else.  For me, it required two things.  I needed to stop caring (and wondering) what other people thought (and that included what I myself thought).  I also needed a reminder that life is short.  When the first weeks of COVID hit life was turned inside out.  Things were falling apart, things were changing quickly.  Things we took for granted, like going outside of the house, seeing friends, and shopping were all very different and weren’t the safest things to do.  I started to think about all the things I still wanted to do and how I didn’t want to live my life with any regrets.  


And yes, it’s shallow but I didn’t want to have a life where I didn’t wear a certain outfit that I loved.  I found a dress that I loved but it would show off my shoulders in a way that I never did before.  I didn’t think I could pull it off.  But fueled by the new uncertainty of the world I bought the dress and I promised myself I would wear it out.


And I DID.  And I looked amazing.  And I know that’s egotistical. 


I wish I had let myself wear dresses like this sooner.  I wish I didn’t let myself stop myself.  Now I have beautiful and fun dresses without sleeves, with halter ties, and thin straps.  I also have a confidence that I didn’t think I would.  


As for advice all I can say is to wear what you want.  Stop caring what others think (because unless you specifically ask someone you won’t know what they think anyway).  In terms of practical advice, have a strapless bra and a cover up.  When I wore the animal print dress in the picture above I had a long cardigan with it.  It was a little chilly that morning and it helped keep me warm, but I also looked at it as armor that I could put back on (or leave on) if I wasn’t quite ready to flaunt what I got.  


I hope this helps!

Related reading

All We Have is Who We Are

Impossible Things

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Shine, Shine, Shine

Most of my photo shoots are for a reason.  Some of them are for En Femme, some are the annual MN T-Girls shoot, some are for reviews, and some are just for fun.  


It’s easy to get burnt out on them, though.  Don’t get me wrong, I heart them but they do take a lot of planning and coordination between Shannonlee, makeup appointments, shooting locations, and other logistics.  Some shoots have requirements, such as a specific location or vibe that is needed.  Usually this is requested of En Femme and it’s actually fun figuring out the perfect location.  In 2019 we did a shoot for En Femme’s winter line and we were tasked with finding a location that was very Christmasy.  I think it’s safe to say we nailed it.  


I actually like working with guidelines like this.  I think when you are given such specifications your most creative work can happen.  


When I did my last shoot it was going to be all about lingerie and most of the shots were going to be for reviewing two new bra and panty sets and new forms for The Breast Form Store.  Since the shoot was going to be in a hotel room we decided to do some dress shots around the hotel itself.  Since this was the first shoot since November, and my first time completely en femme since then, I was excited for the shoot.  I had a new dress, new forms, and a killer makeover and I was excited for the day.  I felt cute, and I thought I looked cute (please note that looking cute and feeling cute are not always hand-in-hand).  


We started with a few shots in the hotel room….


…then moved to the balcony when the wind decided to play.


After the shots in the room we took to exploring the hotel.  


I love these shots, I love this dress.  I think you can see my excitement and confidence shine through.  This is pretty typical of the first outfit of a shoot and is pretty different than the final outfit of the day which I will talk about in a future post.

Love, Hannah

Moot Lingerie!

Did you know I love lingerie?

I think by now the entire internet knows that.

I also love businesses that specifically keep girls like us in mind when they design clothes, specifically lingerie.

When I find a designer like that, I do what I can to support them and bring some attention to what they do. I am happy to do this for Moot Lingerie!

From their website:

Moot is FOR EACH and every body who feels that Moot is for them

We stand in solidarity with humans, regardless of gender labels or sexuality. 

Moot will not discriminate on the grounds of anyone’s sexual or gender identity, everyone is equal and everyone is warmly welcomed to Moot

Here are some photos of their lingerie and where you can go to add it to your lingerie drawer!

Love, Hannah

Carmen Liu Lingerie Review

HI!  Some of us don’t like tucking.  I get it.  It’s not easy to do properly and if not done correctly it can hurt.

Pain and feeling uncomfortable is your body’s way of saying STOP DOING THIS.  If your heels hurt your feet (I mean, they probably will after a few hours, I’m talking about immediately and with every step) or if your gaff is paining you, you should probably wear something else.  


I wear gaffs and I love them. They took some time getting used to and I have a few recommendations, especially a new style from The Breast Form Store (proper review coming later) but I wanted to bring to your attention a panty that I recently bought that I think those of us who don’t tuck might be interested in. 


I wear tight dresses, but our, ah, feminine flaw can be visible no matter how tight or loose the dress or skirt or pants are.  If tucking isn’t for you, I would recommend looking into the White Lace Classy Thong, part of the Carmen Liu line of lingerie sold through En Femme.


This panty is not a gaff, but it does flatten and smoooooth things.  Like, really flattens and smooth things.  Like, really, REALLY flattens and smooths things.


It takes a little getting used to, and it moves comfortably with your body, and it is tight.  Of course, not everyone likes thongs so there is that as well.  The sizing chart is very true to form so make sure you know your measurements before purchasing.  


Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

What sort of bra do you recommend and how do you know what size to buy?


-Do you have actual breasts or do you use/wear forms? Just starting to explore and very confused about forms. What is the correct or proper shape to look for, teardrop, oval, triangle, round ? I have yet to find 2 articles supporting the same shape so I’m confused. The one thing I have found that seems to be standard is that silicone has the best feel, movement, bounce, fiber fill & foam don’t so now if I can understand the shape to look for or go with I have a starting point.  


Both of these questions bounced into my email within a day of each other and since they are similar I thought I’d tackle them in one post.


I have a LOT of bras.  I have bras that I wear en femme, and I have bras that I wear for underdressing.  Basically the bras that I wear under my boy clothes are ones without any sort of padding, shape, or push-uppiness.  That’s not a word but you know what I mean. Most of these bras come from Xdress and Homme Mystere.


The bras I wear en femme are more varied and more… uh, practical.  I have bras that are strapless, I have bras with an embroidered pattern, push up bras, and bras of many colors.


A girl needs a white or beige bra because some outfits and blouses are a LITTLE see through and a black or darker color will show through some tops.  I mean, if that’s the look you’re going for, then have at it.  


Strapless bras are for strapless dresses, or dresses and tops where the shoulders are see-through or mesh, for example.  


I don’t wear bras with a texture to the cup if I am wearing a tight blouse as the texture can show through.


See?  Lingerie can be practical.  


As for sizing, if you’re not comfortable meeting with a bra fitter, you can take your own measurements.  I wear a 34B bra.  The number refers to my chest measurement/band size, the letter refers to cup size.  A rule of thumb is your band size is your chest measurement and then add four (round up if needed).


Third Love has an EXCELLENT guide for determining your bra size and I would encourage you to take a look as they know more about this then I ever will.

I don’t have breasts but I wear forms.  They are not the best quality but they do the job.  They are silicone….ish.  Not as high quality as my thigh and hip pads from The Breast Form Store and I would agree with what you are reading in that silicone feels better than anything else.  My forms have a somewhat similar feel to my silicone pads but I don’t feel my forms are a part of me the same way my thigh pads do.


Shape comes down to personal preference, I think.  Breasts come in all shapes and sizes so I don’t think there is such a thing as the correct shape.  I would spend some time looking at The Breast Form Store‘s website and chatting with one of their fitters (Hi Eden!) for some guidance in finding forms that you feel are the right ones.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

Whenever I wear hold ups they keep falling down do you know why ?


-I love nylons! I don’t wear thigh highs(they don’t stay up), I don’t wear pantyhose(too much fussing). I’m a stockings and garter belt girl who ALWAYS wears a midi length dress(no minis, and absolutely no maxis).
Nylons complete/enhance your look.
My question is, what is it with the GGs not wearing hosiery anymore? I do not get it.

I received these two emails a few days apart and since they are about the same subject I thought I’d chat about them both in one post.  

If your thigh highs aren’t quite staying high enough it’s likely because of two reasons.  
Firstly, thigh highs are more effective when you have a shaved leg.  The adhesive will simply stick to leg hair as opposed to skin so make sure your legs are smoooooth and sexy.


Secondly it could be because the stocking itself is of poor quality.  A few months ago I was in a pinch and I had to settle for a pair of thigh highs from Walmart and I spent most of the evening pulling them up.  The elastic became stretched and the adhesive just didn’t work. 

 
So, what’s a girl to do?  Of course, you could always wear pantyhose or tights.  A garter belt is also a sexy option but sometimes we need to be practical instead of alluring (not that they are exclusive of one another).  Many girls I know swear by Hold Up Body Adhesive.  It’s a versatile roll-on body adhesive that is used to secure your forms, pads, and clothing.  It can be used for wigs, straps, and stockings.  You can find this at The Breast Form Store.


I love nylons, stockings, tights…  and I agree that they complete and flatter someone’s look.  I almost always wear nude stockings as they help with smoothing and balancing out my skin color.


As for why cis-women don’t wear hosiery we need to be careful to not generalize any girl in such a way.  


I love love love wearing stockings but if I had to wear them every day…  well the appeal would fade really quickly for me.  It takes a lot of work to get dolled up and I don’t always have time to look how I look, especially if I “had” to do it more often.  And stockings are expensive.  I go through more nylons than you would think and a decent pair can cost up to $20.  Getting a snag in them as I get dressed makes for a very expensive mistake.


Girls like us have a unique and special relationship with clothes.  We tend to wear clothes because of how they make us feel as opposed to wearing them for a practical reason.  A lot of people with breasts look forward to taking off their bra after a long day.  Not because they don’t like wearing something cute, but because their bra is being worn for a practical reason whereas I’m wearing a bra because I think the bra itself is sexy and undressing is how I stay connected to my femme side.


When I first lived on my own I was thrilled at the idea of wearing beautiful lingerie to bed each night.  Stockings, garter belt….  but after a while the appeal wore off.  Not that I didn’t like lingerie, but it was just a lot of work if I had a long day.  It was so much easier to slip on a nightgown or a cami and a pair of panties.  


Once crossdressing feels like a chore (so to speak) it loses a lot of its appeal.  I never wanted to wear lingerie (or anything) because I COULD.  I wear what I want (for the most part) because I want to.  I love being able to choose between leggings and a ball gown.  


Being bi-gender is going back and forth between “I wish I could dress up every day” and “I’m glad I don’t have to do this every day”.  Don’t get me wrong, I love love love being en femme.  I love spending ten minutes on my foundation, choosing an outfit and everything that goes with it, but it’s a lot of work (and always worth it) but sometimes I’m lazy lol.


I worked with a girl many years ago who loved men with facial hair.  She wondered why more men didn’t have more creative beads.  She said if she was a guy she’d do something different with her facial hair whenever she could.  When I heard her say this I thought of how annoying it is to shave and how I hate that I have facial hair.  But it’s an example of how we can often think that something someone “can” do is amazing when in reality it isn’t as fun as we think it is.  


I think many people expect women to have long hair, have their nails done, wear dresses….  and yes, when I am en femme this is how I dress.  But I dress this because I WANT to dress this way.  I would feel differently if I wore something because it was expected of me.  Do I like wearing a tie to work?  No.  Do I wear one because “men are supposed to”?  Yes.  And that sucks.   

Related reading:

What a Good Boy, What a Pretty Girl

Ask Hannah #110

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Feeling Blue and Beautiful

I just love this dress. Just absolutely adore it. It fits perfectly, it’s flattering, and just shows off my curve. It’s flirty and and it’s…it’s just fun to wear.

I had hoped to wear it on a day out shopping but of course so many plans were kicked aside this year, but I promise as soon it’s safer and more fun to go out again this will be the first dress I wear.

The dress is from En Femme and yes, I know I sound like a shill for hyping a dress from a designer I work for, but I work for them for a reason and dresses like this one are a major reason.

Even though I haven’t worn this to a mall yet, I did wear it for last month’s photo shoot.
I hope you like it!

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

What is the dress size i should wear? and skirt size? I am a 28 waist.

Sizing is one of the more frustrating parts of building a wardrobe  The truth is you will never know what size you truly are.  It depends on the store.  Some stores think I am a size 20 (I don ‘t shop there anymore), most stores think I am a size 12.  I own many dresses from Dress Barn and most of them are size 12 and they fit perfectly but there are the random size 12s from Dress Barn that don’t fit.  It’s super fun.


Knowing your measurements is the best way to shop.  The “boy clothes” to “girl clothes” conversion isn’t linear, it’s a stupid arbitrary and random mess.  Generally speaking it’s about a one size up translation.  In boy t-shirts I am a medium, for femme t-shirts I am a large.  Sometimes.  In some cases I am x-large, mostly due to my shoulders.  You can’t always use your boy sizes as a guide because a boy shirt is different than a dress.  A boy shirt is mainly about chest width, but a dress is bust AND waist.  Some of my dresses zip up perfectly around my hips and waist but have a hard time going beyond my bust because my shoulders are a little wider than my middle.  It’s not at all humbling.

Find a measuring tape (not the tool kit kind, the ribbon kind) and take your measurements for different parts of your body:
-Waist measured at your belly button
-Bust measured at nipple height with or without forms/padding
-Chest measurement taken just under pectoral muscle (2 to 3 inches below nipple)


The whole small/medium/large sizing is not helpful at all.  If I am shopping and I see a dress is a medium, it probably won’t fit.  Most places seem to think a medium is a size 8-10.  If a dress is sized large it *probably* will fit as large seems to be 12-14.  


If you are buying online look at the store’s sizing chart to see what they use to determine how they size their clothes.  If you are shopping on Amazon look at EVERY size chart before you buy.  Since Amazon sells clothes from a lot of different retailers there will be just as many size charts as there are options.  Don’t use the Amazon size chart, use the designer’s size chart.  Reading the comments and reviews is also helpful.  Often times people will mention if the outfit runs small or large, or true to size.  The most helpful reviewers will provide their own size and give feedback on whether or not the sizing chart is accurate or waaaay off.  


Shopping is very trial and error.  It’s one reason I say that crossdressing takes time, money, and patience.


Love, Hannah  

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

Fear is something we all come across at sometime. I guess the biggest fear about crossdressing is getting caught. Not just getting caught wearing femme attire but buying femme stuff in male mode in public. I used to drive miles away from home where no one would recognize me and go shopping. Still you would get stares while going through say a hosiery display at a store. I have to say this day and age we live in makes much easier. i remember placing my 1st order from enfemmestyle.com. I was excited about getting my new skirt, bra and panty set, and waist cincher, but I still had worries about my package coming to my home and getting opened by someone else by mistake. I voiced my concern the enfemme and they suggested that I have my package delivered to a UPS store, and I have to say this was the perfect solution. Pay simple fee of $5 and a gurl has what she needs. Also ordering on line and picking up at the store works ok also. I have ordered hosiery from JC Penney online and when I went to pick up my order at the store I would play the role of some guy picking up an order for a wife or girlfriend. Amazon is great especially this time of year. You are ordering gifts and blend in a few gifts for your femme side. Hannah is what I pointed out a good solution and do you have any further solutions for a tgirl?

Some might say that we are paranoid but I feel that paranoia is what keeps us safe.  On the other hand it’s easy to overthink.  Yes, I would be terrified if someone besides myself opened up something I ordered from En Femme, but at the same time I can’t recall an instance where someone other than myself opened a piece of mail or a package that was sent to me.

Fortunately En Femme, along with many of the other designers understand how crucial privacy and discretion are to their clients so most send out our orders in plan, unremarkable packaging.  


And yes, I would agree that having items sent to a UPS store is a great idea.  Amazon also offers to ship orders to secure “lockers” that are usually found in malls or other public places which are opened by using a special code.  You may also want to consider getting a p.o. box which are relatively inexpensive.


On a related note, this side of us is something that some of us keep from our significant others.  Most of you know my feelings and thoughts about not being upfront about this so I won’t get into that, but keep in mind how having a secret p.o. box (or something similar) would look to our partners were they to find out.  If you are caught or once you come out anything you’ve kept from them could come to light and whether it’s an email account or a mailing address that they weren’t aware of it will likely lead your partner to wonder what else you were keeping from them.

As for shopping in male mode, yes it’s not tooooooooooo common for a guy to be in the hosiery or makeup section.  You may have someone look at you and they might wonder why you’re there but they will just as quickly move onto their own business.  They MIGHT think something, but really, who cares?  For starters unless you ask them you really don’t know what they think.  And who cares what they think?  Picking up an order or purchasing a dress in male mode MIGHT make a cashier wonder why a guy is buying a dress but I assure you once you leave their register they will probably stop thinking about it.  Just relax, don’t act out of the ordinary.  Don’t be weird. Don’t make it weird. 


Years ago when I would purchase something in male mode I would ask the cashier something like “if this doesn’t fit, can she return it?”.  It was my intention that they would think I was purchasing it for my wife.  But after a while I realized they probably don’t care at all.  When I worked in retail I didn’t care what people bought.  When I was a cashier I would ring up a hundred people a day and after my shift I couldn’t tell you a single thing that anyone bought…. but I did remember when a customer was weird or when the transaction was anything other than mundane.  Keep in mind that you are not the first, nor the last, nor the only guy who has ever purchased panties at Target.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!