Too Cute Two Piece

Last year I strutted out of my comfort zone (and honestly? The more I do this, the more I love it) and reviewed and modeled a swimsuit for En Femme.

I hit another milestone recently when I modeled a new suit, also from En Femme. This time? A twopiece.

When I opened the package I was… well, excited and a little intimidated. Which was kind of silly as I’ve modeled and reviewed lingerie before and a swimsuit is similar in what it reveals, but a swimsuit is meant to be worn in public. And a two-piece is meant to, well, reveal more than a tank suit.

But like most things that scare me when it comes to clothes, I wore it anyway.

When I think of femme clothes I have to consider how they will fit my body. If a top has a plunging neckline, I have to think about how it will look when it comes to wearing breast forms. If a skirt is tight I have to think about tucking and which gaff I will wear.

Simply put, a bikini designed for a cis girl body won’t flatter me.

However, like everything else I’ve ever worn for En Femme, this suit fit perfectly. The measurements were spot on, there is enough stretch where needed, and it compliments my body and proportions.

The top fits like a typical sports bra but is made of a Lycra/Nylon blend. The fabric creates a subtle shine and draws attention to the suit. And! The top has pockets for breast forms. The suit can also be worn without forms but it doesn’t look baggy without them. I was a little concerned if my forms were tooooo big for the suit and would show off more cleavage than I would like but this wasn’t an issue at all. I mean, I like showing a little skin but I don’t like a top or a neckline that reveals my forms.

The bottoms also fit very nicely. The back is wide enough for my, well, bottom and the gusset is wide enough for my body parts. No gaff is needed with this suit has it has built-in compression. Worn properly, it will create a nice, smooth front. No matter how much I moved everything remained in place.

A similar product to the bottoms is the Carmen Liu White Lace Classy Thong, also by En Femme. Both of these items are not QUITE a gaff but will flatten and smooth your front.

Sizing with En Femme is rarely an issue and I will advise you take their recommendation to heart and know your measurements and select the appropriate size. The suit is available in black or pink but obvs I HAD to have the pink.

New clothes can lead to new adventures. Wearing beautiful gowns make me want to attend a glamourous event. This suit is pushing me to the beach… a place I never thought I would be comfortable to go to. I felt beautiful and confident.

Thank you En Femme for designing clothes for my body and for this sexy and practical suit.

Love, Hannah

New En Femme Blog!

My new blog for En Femme has been posted!

I hope you like it!

Love, Hannah

The latest from Hannah McKnight, our resident fashionista, is now in the Learning Center! Hannah’s last installment of “Building a Better Wardrobe” is now available where she talks shoes and jewelry. Read the first part of Hannah’s series or read all of Hannah’s advice in the Learning Center.  Read it Now>>

Bless this Mess and Bless this Dress, and this Dress and this Dress and…

So! We are moving. Don’t worry, I am, and will always be a MN T-Girl but it’s time for a new house.

Life is stressful enough as it is especially now but adding preparing an entire building to look presentable to sell and trying to find a buyer and transition everything we own into a new building just adds to the AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH of everything.

Selling and buying a home has a zillion little things to do from fixing things and finding a realtor and the mortgage stuff of course but there’s also the PACKING. And for a t-girl that hearts clothes, this takes on a ginormous challenge.

Annnnd a little heartbreaking, maybe? I love opening my closet and seeing all my pretty clothes, the same clothes that I had been dreaming of for my entire life but they, along with everything else I own, had to be packed and moved into storage for a few weeks.

Last night I reluctantly opened my closet and got to work. And I knew this, you knew this, my wife knew this, but goodness I have a lot of clothes and a lot of shoes.

It took about an hour to do this and I think I could have done this quicker had I not stopped to look at almost every dress and remember the first time I wore it or what I wore it to. I don’t think of myself as a sentimental person but perhaps I am.

Of course I kept a few things unpacked such as my lingerie, outfits for next week’s photo shoot, and a few other items, but for the most part everything is boxed up.

As I took my dresses and skirts and tops and bodysuits off their hangers, I felt an enormous amount of gratitude. I feel blessed to have the life, the wife that I have. I feel fortunate that I overcame anything and everything that held me back from accepting and embracing who I am.

It’s easy to look around our home and feel overwhelmed by the mess that moving and home repairs came bring. But it’s important to take a moment to reflect on how fortunate someone can be to even own a home, own a dress, to have a life they love.

Love, Hannah

Saying OMG, YES to the Dress

This side of us can overlap into fantasy territory. Not necessarily sexual territory and it’s not uncommon for a girl like us to be a fantasy for someone else, but the fantasy is often daydreaming about THE dress or where we would wear an amazing outfit.

The degrees that this daydreaming can span can be extreme. We think about what outfit we would wear to simply having a cup of a coffee but we also daydream about what we would wear to a gala.

My adventures (if you can call them that) are the everyday kind. Shopping, having coffee, things like that. Don’t get me wrong, there is magic in the day to day, but this girl fantasizes about ballgowns and black tie parties.

I have dresses for “just in case” situations. I used to go to nightclubs and such but I don’t anymore. BUT if I ever did I have THE perfect dress for such an evening. I can’t imagine the oft daydreamed gala but I still look for THE DRESS that I would wear to such an occasion. I had such a gown but after I lost a significant amount of weight it no longer fit.

I look for ballgowns whenever I visit a second-hand boutique but I rarely find one that fits or that is within my budget. I mean, YES, I could find such a dress if I was willing to spend hundreds of dollars but even I can’t justify spending that much money for something that may never leave my closet.

I look on eBay but I don’t have much luck there either.

So, you can imagine how excited I was when I discovered Queenly. Queenly is a marketplace where you can find amazing dresses for those faaaaancy events we’ve been fantasizing about, whether it’s a wedding reception or staying in on a Saturday. I mean, many of us have dressed to kill just to stay in and binge watch a show. I have.

I spent toooo much time on Queenly looking at everything from bridesmaid dresses to prom dresses to cocktail dresses which is ironic considering I will likely never be a bridesmaid, go to prom, or drink again.

Although I doubt I will ever have a chance to wear a dress like this to an appropriately fancy party I can wear such a gown to a photo shoot. Queenly also regularly hires transgender models for their website so there’s another daydream that I have.

Every once in a while my hubris gets the best of me and I think I have what it takes to do more modeling. Queenly, like other designers, partners with Slay Models which, according to their website, is the premier management company representing transgender fashion talent. We see trans individuals as beautiful. Our strong commitment to developing them as successful models is not about quantifying the model’s gender, it is about their passion and commitment to being the best possible models they can be.

When I heard about Slay I thought maybe I should assemble a portfolio and submit to to them… but then I saw their current models and I was immediately humbled.

Each of these models are wearing dresses found on Queenly, by the way.

After spending a few days on Queenly I found quite a few dresses that fit my budget and really caught my eye. I eagerly wait for the giant box to be delivered.

And! Not only does Queenly have a zillion dresses they also have excellent customer service. I made a mistake with my order and they responded right away and fixed my silly error.

I don’t know about you but prom and wedding season makes me long for beautiful gowns and fancy events. I don’t think I will ever be asked to prom but perhaps I can organize my own black tie event. If I do, I will soon have THE dress for it.

Love, Hannah

New En Femme Blog!

My new blog for En Femme has been posted!

I hope you like it!

Love, Hannah

The Learning Center: Building a Better Wardrobe Part 2!

New in the Learning Center is Hannah McKnight’s latest article on Building a Better Wardrobe – Part 2. Hannah knows a thing or two about clothing and what she looks for to create a look for herself. But when just starting out, it’s nice to have some advice. Or you may be wanting to go beyond that first item you purchased and now you’d like to go a little further.  Hannah is here to help.

As always, Hannah imparts her wisdom in this first part of building a better wardrobe for yourself such as tops, skirts & dresses. Read it now>>

Anti-Climatic

My most recent photo shoot consisted of a corset I was reviewing as well as a few dresses that, for lack of a better phrase, had a story behind them. The stories were more or less along the lines of why I bought it or why it lingered in the back of my closet for years.

My final posting of the shoot really doesn’t have a story. It was a cute dress that I found a cute boutique. It fit, I loved it, the sleeves were the perfect length, the hem was also the perfect length 😉 . So I bought it. Yes, a little anti-climatic.

Here it is!

Love, Hannah

I Get By With a Little Help From My Forms

My most recent photo shoot had a couple of dresses that I had to look DEEP into my closet to find. I have been meaning to wear this particular one for years and years but for some reason or another just never followed through with it. I would plan a day out en femme and sometimes I would end up getting a NEW dress and wanted to wear that one instead or the weather wasn’t going to cooperate and I would need to wear something else.

But I suppose those were just excuses. The reason I didn’t wear it was because I didn’t feel cute in it. I found the dress on Amazon and thought it looked pretty and it fit like a dream but I just felt a little… frumpy? Like it didn’t fall right? Because of this I just didn’t feel a lot of affection towards it.

So, what changed?
My body didn’t, the dress didn’t, all I needed was to add my forms and a corset.

A dress can FIT, but it doesn’t mean it fits in the right places. Sometimes a pretty dress doesn’t compliment you.

Femme clothes are, for the most part, designed for the cis gender female body. This means a bust and hips. My body is pretty rectangular and sometimes the most gorgeous gown fits like a pillowcase.

I packed this dress into my suitcase for the shoot and honestly? I just hoped for the best. The shoot started and as the afternoon progressed the outfits I brought were worn, photographed, and then (carelessly) tossed back into my suitcase.

There was time left for one more outfit, and this dress was the last one left. I shrugged and changed.

This was the first time I had worn the dress with my breast forms and corset. My body was completely different compared to the other times I tried on the dress.

It fell where it should. The dress fit the body it was designed for. I had the body (courtesy of my corset and forms) that it was designed for.

I am not saying that you need a certain figure or $400 breast forms to look cute in a dress. This is a reminder that clothes sometimes need a little help.

Love, Hannah

I Can Resist Anything Except Temptation

Well temptation and leather. I can’t resist leather. I just can’t.

And it’s silly. But it is what it is. But isn’t all of *this* is what it is?

When I am en femme I feel confident and brave and powerful. It’s not necessarily because of what I am wearing but it’s more of a result of all the mental barriers and fears and insecurities and dysphoria I had to conquer before I could leave the house, before I stopped caring about being read, after I realized there was no such thing as passing, before I stopped trying to blend in.

Not caring is one of the most freeing things one can experience.

Of course, not caring is not the same thing as not being compassionate, kind, or considerate, but you know what I mean.

Sometimes I think I have enough LBDs. or enough bodycon dresses with pretty floral patterns on them, but then you see IT. A dress that you KNOW you don’t NEED but you can’t imagine living another minute without it.

So you buy it and the feeling dissipates… until it happens again.

And it will. And I love that. I love finding a dress that I can’t say no to.

A few months ago I was at a second-hand boutique and I saw a dress. It was my size, it was leather, and I mean, I HAD to get it. And really, it wasn’t that different than the other leather dresses I have, but really, when has logic and reason had a chance against a WANT?

I used to save leather for nights out but I rarely am out late these days. Late nights and bold outfits tend to go together but… well, I don’t care about blending in anymore. Well, I do to a degree, there are some limits to what I will wear when I am out. I might love my thigh-high boots and pink PVC dress but I won’t wear that outfit to the mall.

Speaking of shoes, let’s talk MORE about shoes I wore with this dress.

I didn’t MEAN to buy them. I had no choice.

I mean, yes I had a choice, but I didn’t feel I had a lot of options on the day that I bought them. I was out en femme a year or so ago when the fastener on my heels stopped cooperating. Girls like us don’t have the luxury of popping into Target in a pinch and picking out a pair of heels that fit. I also “needed” black heels to go with the outfit I was wearing. I knew I had only a few places I could go that would almost guarantee where I could find a pair of black heels that would fit so off I went.

There is a chain of shops called Fantasy Gifts in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area (and New Jersey) and they sell lingerie and um, other accessories of a sexual nature. They also, thank heavens, sell heels for people with my shoe size.

Their selection tends to be on the more fetishy side with towering platforms and six inch stilettos. Obviously I heart heels like this buuuut for the day I had planned I was hoping to find something a LITTLE more modest.

Depending on how you look at it, luck was either against me or it was running in my favor because the only option where these heels:

My heart skipped a beat and felt a combination of OMG I HEART THEM and I can’t possibly wear them while I run errands.

But guess what! I could and I did:

I am used to being the tallest girl in town but my goodness I towered over everyone. It was… an experience. A sexy experience.

Like a few other pairs of shoes I own, I couldn’t imagine wearing them in the real world so when it was time to plan my outfits for my most recent photo shoot I thought they would perfect for my newly acquired leather dress.

I love how these photos turned out. I think it’s obvious how the stilettos and the leather just… awakens something in me.

Love, Hannah

Life is Short. This Dress is Shorter.

Sometimes the world feels overwhelming. Often life feels overwhelming.

I try to be optimistic, or at least I try to not let the bastards grind me down, but God knows that isn’t always easy.

It had been a stressful couple of days. I can’t even remember what was happening in the world at the moment but it was worrying. Work stuff was frustrating, and I was just in a baaaaad mood.

I had to run to Target and I saw a cute dress. I was in such a cranky mood that I barely stopped to appreciate it. I did see it was my size but you know the feeling when you’re in a bad mood and you just want to… I don’t know, stay in the bad mood for a bit? Like you don’t want to cheer up quite yet? That was me.

The dress had very thin straps. The type of straps that at one point I was convinced my shoulders were too masculine to wear. But I got over that. The dress was also pretty short, probably too short for someone with my body. I like showing a little leg but this dress? I would be showing a LOT of leg.

I picked up a few groceries and went home.

Eventually my mood improved and of course I started to think about that dress and how I should have bought it. Even though I was feeling pissy I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I was reminded that life is short and the time that we have is not a promise. I may live for another five decades but the life that I have, the things I am able to physically do, could all change in the blink of an eye. The day is coming when I can’t strut in heels. There will be a time when I can’t do THIS anymore.

So, I decided to take my own advice and to buy the dress.

I went back, found the dress, and wore it for my most recent photo shoot.

The dress was even shorter when I was all dolled up… breast forms and shapewear can do that. I probably should have purchased the next size up buuuut I didn’t. The length is fine in the sense that it conceals the parts it needs to conceal… as long as I don’t sit down.

This is, at the risk of being crude, my “f____ it dress”. Not because I want to be… ah, sexual while wearing it, but more like “life is short, the time we have is running out, so, f____ it, wear the dress.”

I may be too old to wear this, but in a year I’ll be even older. I might wear this dress for Pride later this month. A year ago I never thought I would wear a dress this thin, this revealing in public but again, life is short… who knows when I will have the chance to wear something like this again?

Love, Hannah

New En Femme Blog!

My new blog for En Femme has been posted!

I hope you like it!

Love, Hannah

The Learning Center: Building a Better Wardrobe

New in the Learning Center is Hannah McKnight’s latest article on Building a Better Wardrobe – Part 1. Hannah knows a thing or two about clothing and what she looks for to create a look for herself. But when just starting out, it’s nice to have some advice. Or you may be wanting to go beyond that first item you purchased and now you’d like to go a little further. Hannah is here to help.

As always, Hannah imparts her wisdom in this first part of building a better wardrobe for yourself. Read it now>>