I have always loved lingerie. It was my first introduction to this beautiful world and today it helps me stay connected to my femme side when I am in boy mode. Growing up I had the occasional chance to try on a bra, nylons, and panties. I was fascinated with and in love with the pairing of stockings and a garter belt and for a long time I had dreamed of wearing such beautiful lingerie. The mannequins at department stores always drew my eye when they modeled such amazing lingerie. When I was in my teens and started to drive I finally had the courage and the ability to purchase a garter belt and it was everything I had dreamed of.
As time passed I started to buy and wear matching bras, panties, and garter belts under my boy clothes. There was, and still is, something so irresistible about matching lingerie. For me, it’s a requirement. As I became more emboldened and braver I started to add corsets and other lingerie to my closet (but would quickly be purged, sadly). Lingerie options always seemed endless and they still are.
When I moved towards actual clothes, it was an entirely new world. Again the choices and the potential were limitless. There’s everything from cute skirts paired with a comfy cardigan to evening gowns. Little black dresses to flirty dresses. Leather, silk, satin, PVC, lace… I wanted to (and do) wear it all. It was an amazing feeling to look for, and add to my wardrobe, new styles, new clothes, new… everything.
It was the same feeling, and the same excitement, when it came to shoes. Stilettos, pumps, thigh-high PVC boots… There’s a thrill knowing that there’s a perfect shoe for any outfit you can think of, and vice-versa.
Oh! And makeup is the same. There are as many looks as there are outfits and occasions. Sultry, vampy, everyday, glam, goth…
I loved the thrill of newness. Wearing something I had always dreamed of. Looking like I always fantasized about. Photo shoots give me an opportunity to wear anything I have always wanted… from lingerie to evening wear, to casual, to fantasy. There is an outfit, a shoe, a look for any feeling or event. Feeling cute? Wear a cute dress. Feeling invincible? Slip into your stilettos. Going to a wedding reception or the mall? You get the idea.
But eventually one might feel that they have done it all. If there’s something I wanted to wear more than likely it’s hanging up in my closet or in a drawer. The newness kind of wears off a little. It’s true that fashion is always changing so there is always going to be a new look, a new style that catches our eyelinered eye so that’s fun, but for me my excitement is turning towards experiences and what I could wear on a new adventure. Now that COVID restrictions are easing (Minnesota’s mask mandate is scheduled to end on July 1st!) I am starting to let myself fantasize about potential experiences. Where can I go? What can I do? What will I wear?
I think of everything I dream of doing, getting ready for a wedding or even a formal event, such as a gala, are at the top of the list. How fun would it be to spend hours at the mall looking for the perfect dress? It could be a prom dress, perhaps a bridesmaid dress, or even a head-turning floor-length ball gown. How glamorous would it be to spend the evening dressed in a breathtaking dress?
Prior to the pandemic I traveled for my job. And I did it a lot. It became something I was used to. But flying pretty? Oh my. It’s like when I first went out en femme to simply get a cup of coffee. Getting a coffee was something I did everyday but it was a new experience doing it in a skirt and heels. I think about flying pretty a lot… what I would wear, where I would go, what I would do. How amazing would that be?
I’m always looking for a new style to wear, and always thinking about a new adventure. What are you dreaming about these days?