Ask Hannah!

Hi Hannah, I live in South Africa. I crossdress but it is so difficult to buy crossdressers items because in South Africa we do not have the facility like in the UK, Australia, Canada or America. We cannot go to a store and purchase. I wish someone could set up a store here. Even finding a makeup artist is difficult. I have been trying to buy silicone breasts for some time. Please try and assist. Thank you for all the lovely articles and information as well.

Regardless of where one lives, stores that specifically target our community aren’t all that common. As happy as I am that there are retailers that sell clothes and heels that are sized for girls like us, I don’t limit my shopping to them. I have just as many dresses from Target and Dress Barn as I do from En Femme and Glamour Boutique.

I don’t think greater society will ever be “okay” with girls like us, crossdressers, or a guy buying panties, but some parts of the world might view us as more taboo than others. There’s nothing stopping me from going to the mall en femme to buy lingerie, but I would be less comfortable doing this in certain parts of my state than others.

If buying clothes locally is not an option (regardless of where you live), then online shopping is the way to go. When to comes to forms and pads, I highly recommend The Breast Form Store.

I hope this helps!

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Well, I Didn’t Win

I didn’t expect to win, but I did make it to the Top Ten Kittens of Glamour Boutique‘s annual Glamour Girl contest.

But I was awarded Miss Congeniality.

Oh, that’s not a thing?

Seriously, it was a fun contest, and as they say, there’s no shame in losing to the best. The winner for the Kittens category was the beautiful Natalie Masara.

The winner for the Newcomer category (the other category I was a finalist in) was the breathtaking Jewels Smith.

Thanks to everyone who voted and congratulations to everyone who entered!

Love, Hannah

Glamour Boutique Finalist!

It seems a little surreal to post about this, given what is going on in Minneapolis, around the world, but I am honored and surprised to be a finalist in two categories for Glamour Boutique‘s annual Glamour Girl contest.

Thank you to everyone who voted.  I am shocked and really feeling the love which I really need at the moment. 🙂

The first category is Newcomer and the second is Kitten (girls under 45).

I doubt I will win especially when I look at the other finalists, but this is kind of fun 😉

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I am in the process of opening up an online store for crossdressers. What products would you recommend me to sell?  What do crossdressers need the most?

Congratulations on taking this step!  If there’s one thing I love, it’s more options when it comes to shopping.

Years ago the idea of a store specializing in clothes for girls like us was inconceivable but I am amazed at how many options are available these days.  Even though there’s quite a few options, each one is different from each other and can all happily coexist.

Every t-girl/crossdresser is different and we all need and want different things.  Thankfully there are quite a few options out there.  When it comes to retailers that design for and market to our community, I shop online with En Femme, Xdress, Homme Mystere, Glamour Boutique, and the Breast Form Store the most.

I like Xdress and Homme Mystere for their beautiful, feminine lingerie. I like the Breast Form Store for their practical stuff, like forms, pads, and gaffsI like Glamour Boutique if I want something on the sexy side, and En Femme is a wonderful place for day to day clothes.

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Dress from En Femme

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Dress from Glamour Boutique

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Thigh pads from the Breast Form Store

What you want to be known for?  What are you most passionate about?  There are a lot of options out there, but I always love finding a new place to buy heels and lingerie 🙂

I am not sure if this helps but I did write a little about what I think are “must-haves” for a girl like us.  Of course, we all have different perspectives on what we think are essentials.

What do you girls think are essentials?  What should a new store sell?  Please comment below!

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

 

Ask Hannah!

This might be a weird question, but I just passed the anniversary of my biggest milestone, so I wanted to ask you:

In your “journey” (I know you hate that word) as Hannah, what would you say have been your biggest milestones? I have a few that I would happily share in a comment, but I’ll keep this brief… so what are some of the key moments that have defined who Hannah is today?

Congratulations on your milestone!

This is a really good question.  Thank you for asking it.

I thought about this for a while and I think this comes down to four key instances.

If I look at who I am as a journey (and yes, I totes hate that word but dammit if it isn’t an appropriate one), then my journey started when I was very young with trying on my mom’s heels, being fascinated my lipstick, dying to try on lingerie, buying my first dress, and so on.  I remember progressively going from underdressing to sleeping in a nightgown to learning makeup.  All this time I was discovering who I am, and how I wanted to look and what felt right.  As we learn makeup and build our wardrobe, we learn what we like and what looks suit us.  In many ways, my first real wig was the end of one part of my journey but also the start of another.  It was the final part of moving on from identifying as a crossdresser to realizing that all of this was more than just clothes.  It was about identity.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I should have realized at that moment that I was transgender.

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I remember looking into the mirror for who knows how long the first time I was in full makeup, a dress, and a wig.  I didn’t look like me, and I was a far cry for what I look l like today, but at that moment I had never felt more beautiful.  I realized I had wanted to look and feel beautiful for my entire life.  It was one of the happiest moments I can remember.

The second instance was about a year after that.  After dressing fully at home and plucking up the courage to go out at night, I was ready to step out during the day.  I planned a day where I would wake up early and go into Minneapolis to buy a coffee at a cafe.  That was the plan.  That was the dream.  It was something I did almost every day in male mode, but this, this was something new.

This was significant in many ways as it was the first time I was interacting with the “real world”.  I had been out at night a few times to a LGBTQ+ nightclub, but this was my first time at a normal, everyday place and being seen by others outside of the LGBTQ+ community.  I had fears of people laughing at me, pointing at me, being harassed, and worse.  Thankfully nothing like that happened.  I was so ecstatic from the non-eventful reactions from others that my confidence shot way up.  No one cared.  Sure, they knew I was trans, but I don’t think anyone really gave me a second thought and if they did, I didn’t notice.  Although I had planned on only getting a coffee, I ended up going to two malls, a few other stores, and out to lunch.  This experience gave me the confidence to go out again.  And again.  And again.

The third milestone was the first meeting of the MN T-Girls.  I had been attending a trans support group off and on for a few months and it was a wonderful group with incredible girls.  But I didn’t really fit in.  The group was mainly attended by girls who were or had transitioned and many of the meetings involved conversations about hormones, surgery, and the legal process of legally changing your name and gender.  It was an important and necessary group for our community and I am glad it existed.

But my journey (ugh) was something different.  I had no plan or wish to live full-time or transition.  The group wasn’t for me.  So at the suggestion of my wife, I started to create a group for girls like me who weren’t necessarily looking to transition, and girls who just wanted to make friends and hit the mall.  Yes, it’s a little shallow, but my thought was that I can’t be the only one who wants to look cute and wander around a mall looking for heels.

Thankfully and surprisingly, I learned that I wasn’t.  Not by a long shot.  Today the group has close to 300 members and has been going strong (well, on hiatus under the shelter-in-place orders) for over six years.  But the group had it’s humble beginnings.  Our first meeting was in a coffee shop with about a half-dozen attendees.  Having others show up was huge.  If they hadn’t, I probably would have ended it right there.   But that day was the start of something I am very proud of.

Finally, modeling for Glamour Boutique and En Femme has been incredibly significant to me.  Doing my makeup, finding the right wig, and creating my look has been a humbling process.  I cannot tell you how many times I looked in the mirror and wanted to give up.  There are countless days where I spend an hour doing my makeup and seeing a boy in the mirror.  I have felt fat, felt ugly, felt too tall, too… male.  There have been days, there are still days, and there will always be days where I feel this way.  It happens.

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But modeling has helped me feel beautiful.  I know it’s shallow.  I really know this.  But being considered pretty enough to model clothes and represent a business is incredibly affirming to me.  When I feel ugly or male, and I do a lot, it’s helpful to look at photos from a shoot or to look at the clothes I will be modeling next.

As I look back on all of these moments, I realize that all of them boosted my confidence in some way.  Whether it was how I looked or being able to create something.  Going out into the real world requires a lot of confidence, but a positive (or at least not a negative experience) can also boost your confidence.  I can do this.  I AM doing this.  I think when I present as male I take my confidence for granted.  I could look in the mirror and shrug and tell myself that this is just how I look.

But being en femme is a different story.  Looking male in a dress can crush my self-esteem.  A bad makeup day can be devastating.  Someone staring at me (in a rude way) can destroy me.  Although I can strut through hell with my head held high, I am faking it most of the time because I know that someone pointing at me or a bad wig day can reduce me to shambles.  It can often take an $80 makeover and a new dress to make me feel beautiful, but all it takes is a suppressed smile or a mean comment on Twitter to ruin my day.  Or week.

Anyway, that ended up getting depressing.  🙂

I loved this question and I would love to hear about everyone else’s milestones in the comments.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Carmen Liu Lingerie at En Femme!

I heart lingerie.  It was the first piece of clothing that I fell in love with when I was young.  Panties, a garter belt, and stockings were the first things I bought that were truly mine.  I underdress each day, and every morning I wake up in a nightie.

Lingerie is a part of each day and each evening.  But as a t-girl, lingerie can be tricky.  Not every panty is going to fit, and without forms the effect of a push-up bra is lost.  I am very happy that there are options out there for girls like us, and even happier that there are businesses that embrace our community.

But of course, I want MORE.

A few years ago I wrote about Carmen Liu, a transwoman who designed a line of lingerie for girls like us.   I am happy to hear that En Femme will now be carrying Ms. Liu’s beautiful lingerie.

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I’m really happy that we have another option to fill our lingerie drawer with beautiful panties and bras.  A girl can never have too many options.

And yes, I do model and blog for En Femme, but rest assured that I would be just as enthusiastic about this even if I wasn’t partnering with them 🙂

Love, Hannah

The Allure of Velvet

I think it’s probably safe to say that a t-girl loves clothes.  I have a fascination with certain styles and fabrics.  I love a really cute peplum dress, I love leather, I love pleated skirts…oh, I could go on.

I think we have a certain emotional connection with many of the items that hang in our wardrobe.  I can pick out a pair of stilettos and think of a half dozen events that I wore them to.  I can remember when and where I found a certain bodycon dress that hangs in my closet.  I can recall how I felt when I tried on that flared skirt that I love so much.

The point is that, well, I love clothes.  I think some of this adoration comes from growing up and seeing a whole world of beautiful dresses, lingerie, and shoes that boys weren’t allowed to wear.  This helped fuel my curiosity and longing.

Not only was I fascinated with the clothes themselves, but there was a whole world of fabrics that were off-limits to me as a boy.  I never had patent-leather shoes, I didn’t have anything made of corduroy, and I certainly didn’t have silk underwear.

Of course, these days my wardrobe now includes Mary Janes, corduroy skirts, and if I am being honest, my lingerie drawer has panties in just about every fabric and texture you could possibly dream of.

One fabric that I was always mesmerized with was velvet.  Dark and seductive, it was a fabric that begged to be touched.  A girl in a velvet dress seemed mysterious, classy, and fashionable.  What’s more alluring than a girl like that?  I wanted to be a girl like that.  Thanks to Glamour Boutique‘s Black Crushed Velvet Fit and Flare Dress, I can finally be that girl.

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My first thought when I slipped this on is how happy the dress made me feel that the sleeves were long enough.  It can be frustrating to try to find a long sleeve dress that fits, but this is perfect.  The shoulders in the dress are wide enough for it to fit comfortably and not compromise the length of the sleeves.

And the flare!

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The dress has a seam under the bust which provides a very flattering fit but also creates a flirty flare for the skirt.  It’s not something I see in a lot of dresses and I appreciate how it downplays my longer torso.

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I love when I put on a dress and I immediately think of an event I can wear it too.  This dress begs to be worn at a holiday party and December seems too far away.

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I paired it with patent leather stilettos and nude stockings, but I think perhaps black stockings would work just as well.

As we grew up there were so many things that were denied to us, clothes we weren’t allowed to wear.  A dress like this evokes memories of those moments when we longed to wear something beautiful.  We have a second chance to finally have the wardrobe that we always wanted and I am so happy that this beautiful dress hangs in my closet.

Love, Hannah

Thank you to Glamour Boutique for providing this dress for this review.

Makeup by Corrie Dubay

Photography by Shannonlee McNeely