The Return of the MN T-Girls Again

Yesterday was the first MN T-Girls meeting since November. We took a pause due to COVID but now that the weather is warmer (for Minnesota in April, anyway) I felt it was safe(r) to resume our monthly adventures This was our second return as we took our first COVID pause last March and returned (for the first time) in May of last year.

This month wasn’t tooooo elaborate, just coffee and girl talk with the girls but it was good to see my friends again.

It was chilly, but at least I looked cute. Well, I thought I looked cute.

Love, Hannah

Double Genders, Double Standards

Hi! 


I write a lot about coming out and the wildly differing responses and reactions this revelation can result in.  Deciding who we come out to, why we do so, and how we have this conversation are different decisions for all of us.  I do feel we are obligated to come out to our partners and our significant others, but like everything there may be some caveats to that.  But beyond that, I don’t think we have an obligation to come out to anyone else we know.  Of course, there is a difference between telling someone that you like to wear panties and telling someone you plan on living full time.  One revelation is a personal preference when it comes to undies, the other is a major lifestyle change.  I don’t think your best friend needs (or wants) to know what you wear under your boy clothes, but if you are going to present and identify as a gender other than the one most people know you as, perhaps it’s time to have that conversation.


How we come out is different for each of us as identifying as trans (or bi-gender, or as a crossdresser, or genderfluid…) means something different for all of us.  Yes, I am trans and were I to come out to someone today (not planning on coming out to anyone today, but the day is young) I would explain that identifying as trans doesn’t mean transitioning or hormones.  When I came out as a crossdresser to my mom and siblings years ago it didn’t quite explain who I was as accurately as perhaps a different term would.  


Why we come out is also different for each of us.  I feel we need to come out to our partners because I think it is important (and fair) to let them know who we are, in case our gender identity (or wardrobe) is a deal-breaker for them.  Beyond that, we come out to others in our lives for different reasons.  I have considered coming out to my two best male friends because sometimes I feel I am being dishonest and I would hope they would feel it would be safe to have a similar discussion about themselves with me.  I came out to a roommate because I was tired of not being able to wear what I wanted in my own home.  


Why we come out to someone is tied to who we come out to.  Sometimes we come out to someone because we feel strongly they would be an ally.  A friend, a confident.  Someone who can help us with makeup.  But I think it’s fair that for some people in our lives we have more reasons to NOT come out to them than there are reasons to do so.  For example, I would never, ever come out to my homophobic relatives that post anti-queer statements on Facebook.  Do you think they care or understand the little nuances of being non-cis?  Coming out to them would absolutely ruin my life.  It’s true you can cut out toxic people in your life, but let’s face it, some people, especially relatives, can never go away.  


I have come out to a very select number of friends in my life.  Coming out to someone that I am not in a romantic relationship with has, in a way, very few repercussions.  You are friends, not dating, so coming out doesn’t impact your relationship as significantly.  Coming out to a girlfriend brings up a lot of questions.  They may ask themselves if they want to date someone who wears lingerie.  They may wonder if committing to someone who is on a journey (uuuuuurgh) of gender identity and all the twists and detours this adventure can have.  They may wonder (or worry) that in a few years their boyfriend (or husband) might want to transition.  Who we are is hard enough on ourselves, but sharing this secret (if it is a secret) is a lot to ask of someone else.  As much as we worry about “getting caught” our partners wonder about the implications on their own life if our secret was revealed. 


Have I come out to every girlfriend?  God, no.  When I was twenty I dated a girl who came from a very religious family.  I can’t say she was completely committed to Christ but her family’s influence (and her need of their approval) was a big reason for everything she said and did and said she believed.  She would openly mock anyone from the LGBTQ+ community, she would smugly say lesbians were going to hell.  Coming out to her would be The Worst Idea ever.


And yes, some people might wonder if perhaps she realized that someone important in her life was non-cis perhaps she would become more enlightened.  And yes!  That is a fair point and not unrealistic, but even if she was accepting her family would not be, and that would be enough for her to condemn me.  They didn’t like me anyway, lol.


Looking back I can’t believe I dated someone like her, but I was young, emotionally fragile, and had just gotten out of a rather traumatic relationship.  I needed love, I think.  And in my defense she was not “gays are bad” when we started to date.  She was primarily like that when she was around her family.  


But that relationship is a perfect example of what is on my mind this morning.  She said she was a Christian and although it’s been a while since I’ve been to church I am pretty certain that Jesus’ whole thing was to love others and that only God can judge.  “Whatever you do so to the least of people, you do unto Me” and all of that.  To know someone who proudly declared themselves a follower of Christ but had so much hate and contempt for anyone who wasn’t cis or straight was baffling to me.  It was hypocritical.  


The first girlfriend that I came out to, and the first person I came out to EVER was as enthusiastic and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community as you could imagine.  She identified as bi and said her last boyfriend did drag.  I came out to her for two reasons.  Firstly, we were dating and I had wanted us to, you know, keep dating.  That meant putting my cards on the table.  But I also came out to her because I thought it was safe to do so.  Based on her sexual identity and her previous relationship I didn’t think she would freak out that her boyfriend loved wearing lingerie.


I was WRONG.


She listened but kindly asked for reassurance that I wouldn’t do it anymore.  That I had outgrown it.  That I wouldn’t mention it ever again.  I was stunned and heartbroken.  Heartbroken because I had let someone in, I had shared my secret with someone for the first time and it went BADLY.  But more so I was stunned.  After all, she talked about her support for the LGBTQ+ community but when it came to supporting her LGBTQ+ boyfriend, well, then it was different.  At the time I felt it was hypocritical.  Why did she brag about her ex doing drag but her current boyfriend wasn’t “allowed” to wear panties?  Why was it okay for her to be bi but I couldn’t be a crossdresser?


To be fair, ‘crossdresser’ was (and probably still is) primarily considered a fetish and being viewed as kinky is not necessarily the same as simply wanting to wear lingerie.  In her defense she might have had a different reaction were I to have come out using terms that more accurately described who I was, and who I am.  


But my point is that her reaction surprised me.  I had felt that coming out to someone who identified as a member of the LGBTQ+ community would be “safe”.  I was wrong.  One’s identity does not obligate them to be supportive of everyone else’s identity. 


Even if someone identifies as straight/cis they may still be an ally and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community.  My mom and siblings are Good People.  I am glad to be related to them.  One would imagine that coming out to them would be a positive experience.  I mean, my brother is gay so I feel there is so precedent there.  My mom had a yard sign for marriage equality on her lawn, we all have friends who are gay, so I felt coming out to them would be safe.  


I was WRONG.


Again, I take some responsibility as to HOW I came out.  I came out as a crossdresser.  Again, there may have been some lingering… ah, prejudice against the term and it’s association with fetishism/kink/sex but I wish I had explained myself better.  Overall the reaction was more or less “that’s nice but let’s not talk about.  Ever”.  And we really haven’t.  At least not on purpose.


I suppose I could come out again, but to be honest after the less than welcoming reaction I feel it would be pointless and would be setting myself up for another disappointment and rejection.  
My reaction at the time (and is still my reaction) is (and was) wondering if their response was hypocritical.  Why was it okay for our brother to be gay but wasn’t okay for me to be who I was?  Why are you supporting transgender equality but won’t talk to your trans family member?  


In their defense I will acknowledge that if I came out as trans (or bi-gender) or explained myself better their reaction might have been different, but that ship has sailed.  I know I could have come out in a more descriptive way.  It is important to be gentle when we come out.  As overwhelming and as complicated it is to understand ourselves, it is ever more so for our loved ones.


Labeling someone as hypocritical is a pretty big brush to paint them as.  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but in my experience these are just reminders as to why coming out is as complicated, risky, and as nerve-wracking as it is.  

Related reading

Identity and Responsibility

Meeting Your Heroes

Sharing the Secret

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

Hi Hannah, First of all let me say that I love you and all your advice, it’s been very helpful to my wife & I. I recently went out en femme for the first time & with my wife, she was a little freaked out & worried someone we know might see us, but she was a trooper. My question is, does your wife go out with Hannah or do you go solo? I can go either way & respect that it’s hard for her, I loved being out en femme & can hardly wait to go out again

How wonderful she went out with you!  Her reaction and fears are pretty normal.  I mean, I have the same concerns when I go out en femme.  I am not toooooo worried about seeing someone I know as I tend to avoid many places that people in my boy life frequent, but Hannah looks very different than the boy does and I think that gives me a moment to leave the store (or wherever I am) before someone would grasp who I am.  
But our significant others don’t have that safety.  People may not recognize us at first glance, but people will recognize our partners.  


My adventures are solo unless I am out with the MN T-Girls.  This is not to say that my wife (or anyone’s partner) isn’t supportive because she doesn’t join me.  She shows her support in other ways. We chat about makeup and she buys me pink toothbrushes. My wife is amazing on a million levels and an ally to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community.  Were she to go out with Hannah there’s a better chance of her being recognized than myself.  And of course it wouldn’t take much for people to figure out who that really really really tall girl is that she is with.  


Most people in our lives are supportive of the transcommunity.  The risk is, of course, seeing someone we know that isn’t accepting and the potential fallout from that.  She also shares the same perspective as I do when it comes to coming out: it’s exhausting.  When I come out to others it takes countless conversations for someone else to come close to “getting it”.  This is one of the reasons I don’t come out to many people.  


Hannah’s life and all that comes with it isn’t, and wasn’t always easy for her.  I feel guilty for the added stress this side of me brings her.  I regret the times she was confused or angry or annoyed that this side of me brings or has brought.  It’s a lot for our partners to live with.  It’s a lot for us to ask of them.  I want to make Hannah’s life as stress free as it can be for her.  I try to be the best person I can be, I try to be worth all the stress Hannah creates and has created.


My wife knows that the invitation still stands for anytime she would like to hit the mall with Hannah.  That day may yet come and if it doesn’t, that’s okay.

Related reading

Be Worth It

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

I’ve been crossdressing for years and love each time I get all dolled up. I have been finding it hard to go out and meet other CD’s. Are there places to go in the Twin Cites where a t-girl can meet another t-girl without going to a bar?

The short answer is no. T-girls don’t tend to frequent a place BECAUSE we are a t-girl. I don’t go to specific places because I am trans.

Well, not really. Whether I am en femme or not, I like to shop at certain places because I know they are supportive and welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community.

Besides that, I pretty much go anywhere I wish. In all the years I’ve been going out en femme, I have only seen one other girl that I thought was trans and that was at a dress shop (of course it was a dress shop).

Another thing to consider is that I don’t recommend just walking up to another girl like us and striking up a conversation BECAUSE you are trans. I would hate to be clocked, you know?

If you are looking to make friends with a girl like us, then going online is probably the best way to do so. Transgender Heaven and Crossdressers.com are two of the best and most active forums out there.

Other than that, since you are in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area, have you heard of this little group? 🙂

Related reading

Butterflies

Ask Hannah!

Girls Like Us

Ask Hannah!

Look at my Beautiful Outfit, but Ignore me at the Same Time

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

What advice (if any) would you give to someone about coming out to a close personal friend that has only ever known you in male mode? Does dealing with the current world situation mean that maybe now is not the time to even consider this?


This pandemic is impacting EVERYTHING and it is certainly impacting how we process information.  I have days where I just want to get through and I don’t want any new information.  This is not the time to have a giant conversation about something that will forever change EVERYTHING between you and the person you come out to.


As for advice… well, we are all different and have different relationships with the people in our lives.  It’s impossible to come out to different people in the same way, at least in my experience.  How you come out is likely going to be influenced by who you come out.  When I came out to my gay brother I came out in a different way than I did to my now wife.
There’s a few things I would consider before I came out to anyone.


-Have they ever said any disparaging or offensive things about someone who is LGBTQ+?  If they make gay jokes or use slurs I probably would think twice (and thrice) before coming out
-Are they trustworthy?  If you are considering coming out to one person it’s probably because you are trying to control who knows and that’s fair.  I do the same thing.  If this is a person who tends to gossip or has told you anything that they shouldn’t have then they may do the same thing with what you tell them.


-Why are you telling them?  I’ve come out to different people for different reasons.  I came out to my girlfriends because they needed to know everything about the person they were in a long term relationship with.  I came out to my roommate because there was a chance she would see my bra strap under my boy clothes (plus at that point in my life I was exhausted emotionally and was tired of keeping secrets).  I came out to my sisters because I wanted Hannah to have sisters.  


-How do you identify?  Do you just like to underdress or do you plan to transition?  Think about where you are on your (ugh) journey and be ready to explain and answer questions
-Is it fair to come out to them?  If you come out to them and want them to keep this information private is it fair to ask them to keep this a secret?  What I mean is that if I were to come out to my best male friend, is it fair to ask him to keep it a secret to his wife?  In many ways coming out is asking someone to share this secret as well and for me I do not like keeping secrets from my wife.  


Again, there’s no right way to come out to someone.  Just be kind and patient.  

Related reading:

Unringing a Bell

Just One of the Guys

Sharing the Secret

Meeting Your Heroes


Love, Hannah  

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

I Hear You

I do my best to help girls like us.  Sometimes it’s being asked about makeup or where to find heels in their size, but I get just as many questions and emails about the more difficult and emotional and serious side of who we are.


I try to be gentle and direct and honest.  Many of us are conflicted or confused or scared about who we are.  Many of us are in denial.  When I tell others like us that we are who we are, we can’t change (and there’s no reason to), I want that message to be comforting.  Yes, this side of us certainly doesn’t make life easier, but knowing that there’s nothing wrong with who you are is the first step towards accepting who you are.  It’s the first step we take when we stop resisting what we want (and what we want to wear).  Ending the fight against yourself is how you get to embracing and celebrating who we are.  


I understand and respect and am honored by the trust that people put into me and what I write.  I take every email seriously (except the ones from the guys who keep asking me to sissify them).  Sometimes questions come to me through email, sometimes they are submitted through the ‘Ask Hannah’ section.  And sometimes the questions come anonymously and really, that’s okay.  I understand the fear of being outed and how hard many of us try to not have any trail of our male identity to a website like mine.  In many, many ways, caution and paranoia protect us.  I totally get that.    


I respond to most emails I get with a few exceptions (seriously, stop asking me to sissify you) and most of the emails seem to be from one’s femme email account.  I don’t think it’s uncommon for many of us to have multiple email accounts.  I certainly do.  Some emails are from what is obviously “his” email account.  Rest assured your information is safe with me.  Some questions are sent to me from fake email addresses though but the questions and concerns are serious and personal.  Many messages like this are sent in the very late (or very early) hours of the day.  The time of the day when our thoughts are the loudest.  The time of the day when most of the world (or your family) is asleep.  The time when we reflect and think about… well, everything.  


When I get an email that I can’t respond to because it’s a fake email account, it does make me concerned.  It’s normal for me to get a message from someone who is pouring their heart out about this side of them.  They are truly worried, scared, lonely about who they are.  They want help, they want friends, they want someone to talk to.  I want to help, I want to offer support and resources but I can’t reply to an email that isn’t real.


Again, I do understand and can relate to not using an email address that can be traced to our male lives.  I totally get that so I understand why one would use a fake email.  


When I get those emails in the wee small hours of the morning I want to offer resources and ways to connect to girls like us.  We need friends like us.  


If you are reading this and you are lonely, afraid, or sad and need help I want to help you.  And I will, to the best that I am able.  If you write to me and don’t provide a way for me to respond then I can’t do anything.  And again, I get it.  If have written to me and needed help, but didn’t provide a way for me to respond, I would have replied with these resources and links:


-First of all, there’s nothing wrong with who you are and what you want to wear.  You are who you are and you are beautiful.  The world doesn’t understand us and that’s okay.  I don’t understand us either 🙂

-If you are looking to make friends with girls like us, then I recommend creating a profile and posting on the forums on crossdressers.com and transgenderheaven.com-If you need support please find a local chapter of PFLAG.


And the most serious resource I can point you towards is Trans Lifeline.


I hope this helps.  As much as I talk about eyeliner and stilettos and shamelessly post photos of myself, I understand and can relate to how our gender identity can cause a lot of pain, confusion, isolation, and fear.  


And thank you for trusting me and for reaching out.  I wish I could do more.
Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I live in Casper Wyoming and am trying to find a good gender therapist. I am currently seeing a psychologist that said she handled gender issues, but I really get the feeling she is just guessing at how to handle things.
If I look on the internet, there are several people who claim to be gender counselors, but how do I find a GOOD one. One that really knows the transgender community, and not just someone who is checking a block on their resume.
Is there any help you can offer, or direction you can point me in? 

I’ve been to several therapists throughout my life but never one specifically for my gender identity.  However, choosing who to work with, regardless of why you are seeing a therapist, should be based on how you feel when speaking with them.  If you click, great.  If they don’t seem knowledgeable about what you want to talk about, then they are probably not the right fit for you.  It sounds to me that you know this psychologist is not the person that is best qualified for what you are looking for.I am afraid I can’t offer much advice on finding a gender therapist.  But we are a community!  🙂  Anyone reading this have any suggestions??  Please comment below.


Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

I have been crossdressing for years and loving every minute and I am older now and would like to meet another girl, whom to have fun with, travel, shop, make-up…… You get the idea, I’m not a night girl any longer and just don’t know where to meet other girls during the day. This virus has put a damper on everything, what should I do?

We all know we need support and friendship when it comes to our femme selves.  No one understands a t-girl like another t-girl.


There are really only two options when it comes to meeting other girls like us.  You can join a support group.  There is probably a PFLAG chapter near you, or simply google “transgender support (city name)” and see what you can find.


The other option is finding friends online.  Two of the sites I recommend are crossdressers.com and transgenderheaven.com.


It’s not common you find another girl “in the wild”, so to speak, especially with COVID.  Even if you see another t-girl I personally advise an insane amount of caution when it comes to approaching a girl like us. I know I’m trans, I know everyone knows I am trans, but I do not want to be clocked.

No matter which gender I am resenting as I rarely see someone that I think might be trans. We do not tend to congregate in designated places with the exception of gay bars/nightclubs, I suppose.


Be safe and take care.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

I’m a feminine gay man and wear a lot of women’s clothing to express my femininity (I’ve never met a pair of sandals I didn’t like), but not to “present” myself as a woman. It’s hard finding other feminine gay men even online. Not only do straight men hate us, but so do masculine gay men. They blame us for why the main stream won’t and don’t accept them as also being well, main stream. You were asked recently to supply a list of resources online for someone who wanted to give to a friend. I know you aren’t a feminine gay man, but thought that you may know others that are like me or happen to know if any websites that I should check out.

I have a love/hate relationship with labels.


On one hand, it was a comforting thing to learn the word ‘crossdresser’ when I was younger.  To know that there were others like me and there were so many of us that there was a word for us made me realize that I wasn’t alone and maybe I wasn’t so… weird, I guess.


On the other hand, it gets a little exhausting to qualify who I am and how I identify.  When one hears that someone is transgender, it paints a picture in their head of someone who was identified as one gender but lives/presents as another.  Whether I am presenting as a boy or en femme I am still transgender.  If you showed a picture of Hannah to someone and said “that person is transgender” you might respond “well, obviously.”  If the same person saw me in boy mode and told them that I was also transgender they would be a little, well, challenged.  I look transgender en femme, I look like, well, a man in male mode.


Transgender doesn’t mean hormones or transitioning or surgery  Just like being a man doesn’t mean I like football and beer.  


There are some in the transcommunity that believe that I’m not trans since I have not or will be transitioning.  Their perspective is I am “just” a crossdresser, nothing else.  And yes, I suppose I am a crossdresser but I am a crossdresser in the sense that when I am presenting as a boy I am wearing panties under my boy clothes or wear a nightgown to bed.  When I am en femme, I am not crossdressing.  And yes, that’s a little weird but I think you know what I mean.


People are generally looked at as either cishet (cisgender, heterosexual) or members of the LGBTQ+ community.  To some people, any deviance from the societal perception of BEING A MAN pushes one from being masculine/straight to, well, something else.  Think back to grade school.  If a boy in first grade likes to jump rope he isn’t “one of the boys” anymore, he’s a girl, or gay.  There are very strict (and stupid) rules about who is a man.  It seems to me that the list of rules is very long and very pointless.


Our community is much the same way.  Just as I am not considered trans by others, there are some people who have expectations as to how a gay man should dress or live their lives.  And that sucks.  Unfortunately you are experiencing that first hand and I’m sorry to hear that.  It sounds like some people in our community feel you are impacting how some of the world looks at a gay man.  I’m sorry.  You write how you feel out of place as you don’t fit in with both straight men (booooo straight men) and members of the gay community.  I wish I had something comforting and reassuring to say.  I wish I could change the world for you.  I wish I knew more answers and had more options than I do.  But I don’t. 


All I can ask is that we all stick together in all this.  These days anyone that isn’t white/heterosexual/cisgender is having a tough time.  My Black friends are angry and scared.  My trans friends are terrified about losing their health care.  My gay friends are worried their right to marry who they love will be taken away.  I live my life and present differently than others who identify as trans.  You present and dress differently than some members of the gay community.  I can relate on some levels, though I won’t pretend that I know exactly how you feel or what you experience.  


The cishet world has their own ideas as how we should live our lives.  I ignore this.  Let’s not impose any expectations or standards in the LGBTQ+ community.  


As for support and meeting others like you, I have no idea.  I know that’s not helpful.  I would encourage you to look into a PFLAG group to attend a meeting to connect with others in our community.  


Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

T-Girl Support in Wisconsin

As important as I think it is to find heels and dresses and lingerie that fit (and I think this is really important), I think that finding support and friendship is just as crucial.


A random thought.  I know it’s shallow to put panties and stilettos as equal to support for girls like us, but I stand by it.  For many of us, a pretty pair of panties or an amazing dress are a representation of our gender identity.  Finding the courage to wear something we have always dreamed of wearing, and having that something fit is amazing of course, but it also fulfills a hidden and secret desire that many of us have had for entire lives.


I love promoting different organizations and support/social groups for girls like us, especially in an area outside of a major metropolitan city.  I just learned of a social/support group in northeast Wisconsin near Green Bay.  They meet up on the first Thursday of each month for support, girl talk about shopping and fashion, and share experiences.  In addition to meeting each month, they also have special outings several times a year where the girls go out for dinner, shop, and go out for dinner.  


The premiere welcome, social and support group is the First Thursday CD/TG Gathering that happens every first Thursday of the month in the private and safe room attached to the back of the Napalese Lounge (see bar listing below). From 6:30 – 8:00 is reserved for M to F cross dressers, gender fluid, transgender, gender nonconforming, etc. There is no pre-registration,
fee, programs, drama just good trans people who love to gather with other kindred spirits to meet others, tell a few stories and laugh. You don’t have to worry about “passing” or wearing the right clothes. Some girls have been around for a while (wisdom figures?) and each Gathering may have a couple girls who are “coming out” to meet with others for their first time. Some who cross dress a couple times a month and others who are at various stages of fully transitioning. We may have 5 girls show up or 15. You can enter directly into the private gathering room from the parking lot on the side of the building. The well-lit back door, with a welcome sign on it is 3 feet off the parking lot. About 8:00, depending on the wishes of whoever is there that night, the group usually migrates to the Napalese Lounge bar, where we are always warmly welcomed for a night cap or two. Periodically the group plans a “Super Saturday “ which is a full evening of shopping, going out to eat, stopping a cocktail or wine lounge and usually ends by attending a drag show.

Of course, some of these activities have been impacted by COVID, but hopefully they (along with so many other things) will return to normal sooner rather than later.  If you are interested in learning more about this wonderful group, please visit their website:  https://www.meetup.com/Green-Bay-Transgender-Meetup/


The group also has provided some resources in the area for independent businesses that are friendly to girls like us and I am happy to list them here:


Frayed Knot – It is an upscale used women’s clothing store in Green Bay. The owner Jenifer (who is usually there) and her staff are wonderful and very welcoming of the trans community. Prices of quality used women’s clothing are excellent. They will fuss over you and help you find sizes, set you up in one of the changing rooms and treat you royally. They also have shoes, purses, jewelry, accessories, etc. Periodically as part of Super Saturday’s they will open the store in the evening just for trans women and host a wine and cheese party. Located at 2660 N. Packerland Drive in GB. 920-405-0533
Sunrise on Main Boutique – This is another very trans friendly and welcoming upscale used women’s clothing store. The owner is Joan who is a delight to talk with. All profits from the sale of dresses, tops, skirts, jeans, purses, jewelry, shoes, etc. go to support women’s support and life coaching programs. They just expanded into a new larger space that has an open airy boutique feeling and displays of merchandise. On Tuesdays, the store is closed so that you can set up private shopping times with an appointment. On Thursdays they are open until 6:00 – so that you check it out and then come on over for our First Thursday Gatherings at Naps which is just a few blocks away. They are located at 1244 Main St. in Green Bay. website: www.sunriseonmain.com 920-857-1662.


Mani Fit Alteration – If you find that perfect dress or outfit that is just a bit too big and you need a good seamstress – go to Mani-Fit Alteration. The shop is run by a wonderful woman
who is very trans friendly and has helped several trans girls at reasonable prices. Located in a small strip mall at 2301 Holmgren Way in Green Bay. (across from Penny’s on Holmgren Way) 920-301-3267 or 920-465-4800.
Nells Wigs – a local wig shop that has served a few members of the trans community, but their primary clientele are women who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy. The owner, Stacie is very nice. A couple of trans girls have been well served there. They have a nice selection of wigs and will do a great fitting for you in a private room. However, prices tend to be at the high end – $200 or more per wig. If price isn’t a concern, then make an appointment and enjoy. Located at 2031 S. Webster Ave, Suite B in Green Bay 920-393-4912 www.nellswigsbouttique.com


Voga Wigs and Hair Add Ons – Have communicated with them via email and they indicate that they would be more than happy to help members of the trans community. They have a private room and a wide selection. They noted that price range for a synthetic wig was from $260 – $700, synthetic/human hair blends go from $900 – $1100 and human hair is $1200 to $4000. They also will wash, condition and restyle wigs. Online their fees are about $40 – $50 for these services. Green Bay Location : 900 S. Military Ave. 920- 884-8642 – Appleton location: 1250 Westhill Blvd 920-882-8642.
http://vogawigs.com

Academy of Beauty Professionals – This is a training school for Beauty Professionals. As such all services are provided by students under the careful supervision of teachers. As a result, the cost for a full makeover is less than $20.00. A couple of girls have gone there, staff are very open to serving the trans community and they do a nice job. Call ahead for an appointment. Locations in Green Bay at 2575 West Mason St. (across from Oneida Casino) 920-857-1081 and Appleton – 525 North Westhill Blvd – 920-815-3375.

The Aesthetic Spa – Hair Removal –– Robin Smet has been doing laser and electrolysis treatments for trans women for many years. 2372 S. Oneida St. GB – 920-497-6246.


Milan Laser Hair Removal – Board certified, has been in the business many years, very trans friendly and experienced. 2476 S. Oneida – 920-569-0927 https://milanlasergreenbay.com/

Wisconsin Laser Center – 100% transgender owned and operated. Specializes in laser hair removal, body sculpting, tattoo removal. Located in Neenah 1075 S. Lake St., Suite 105 920-245-3741.
https://www.wisconsinlasercenter.com


Photography Girl – A very trans friendly professional photographer who has a private studio located in downtown Neenah. Rates are very reasonable. If interested in more information and to set up an appointment email her at XOXOYoursPhotography@gmail.com

The Nepalese Lounge
– Highly recommended. Home for the CD/TG First Thursday of the Month Gathering. A classic “gay neighborhood bar”. All are welcome here, young and old, straight, gay, trans, etc. Pub food menu with Friday Fish Fry. Reasonably priced drinks. Place you can meet and chat. Drag shows the third Thursday of each month. Open mic talent shows the first Friday of each month. Located in Green Bay at 1351 Cedar St. – just east of downtown GB. https://www.napalese.com

Rascals – Another nice neighborhood like gay bar. Wide age range. Have pub menu and in summerhave nice outdoor back patio. Located in Appleton at 702 E. Wisconsin Avenue 920-954-9262
http://Rascalsbar.com


Amphora Wine Bar – A high class recently opened upscale remodeled art deco place with lots of atmosphere, good wine list and excellent cocktails. Also has one of the most interesting menus in Green Bay. The February 2020 CD/TG Super Saturday stopped there, and we were welcomed with a free round of drinks. Back patio open in summer. 131 N. Broadway in Green Bay. 920-391-5417.


Re Mixx
– a larger venue that is well known for its Saturday drag shows, good food and drinks, DJ on Friday and Saturday nights, Karaoke, etc. Always trans friendly. Located west of Neenah. Take the Winchester Road exist west off Hwy 41 to State Road 76 – head South address is 8386 State Road 76 –Neenah. 920-725-6483.


Dr Jekyll’s – Classic neighborhood dive bar that is close to Lawrence University and has a college energy vibe to it. Home of the monthly Lawrence University LGBTQIA + Pride Network social from 5:00– 8:00 on the Second Thursday of each month. Has pinball, skee ball, nice outdoor smoking patio. Great craft beer selection. 314 College Ave in Appleton.


XS Nightclub – If you are looking for a pulsating high energy place to dance – this is the place for you. Two stories, the lower level is usually a crowed dance floor and the second floor is a bar that overlooks the dance floor. It’s referred to as a gay bar – but while it is gay and trans friendly, there are probably more straight younger people. All are welcome. 1106 Main St. in Green Bay – 920-351-3024.

Scoreboard Grille – Classic no frills sports bar with reasonably priced drinks, burgers and beer. or those who want to grab a bite to eat before hitting the town we’ve been there without incident with 15 t-girls. Others have gone dressed and never had a problem. 2511 W. Mason St. in Green Bay. (across from Oneida Casino on Mason St.) 920-770-5586
http://www.scoreboardgrillecom.com


No Limits – A gay bar that is trans friendly, tends to have a younger crowd. Periodic drag shows and sometimes drag queens as bar enders. 500 N. Baird St. in Green Bay – 920-489-2484

Aardvark Wine Lounge – a small unique eclectic artsy cozy place with a unique pour yourself selection of wines to taste. Can order pairings of meats and cheeses to go along with your wine tasting. More of a straight bar but do drag brunches and trans girls have stopped there and have felt welcome. 304 Pine Street (next to Northland Hotel) in downtown Green Bay 920-737-7563

Love, Hannah