I’d like to finish this little showcase by featuring Homme Mystere. I picked Homme Mystere because, to be honest, I think they deserve the attention. Their lingerie is well made, the fit is perfect, the styles are cute… it’s not easy to combine sexy with comfort.
I have purchased and wear a lot of panties from Homme Mystere and I’d like to highlight a few of their panties, bras, bodysuits, and lingerie that I love. You can read my reviews for some of their products here and here and here!
When I started to move from exclusively lingerie to, well, everything else, I wanted to be as “natural” as possible. I liked my shape, I was comfortable, and I thought I looked cute. I had purchased, almost on a whim, some breast forms a few years ago and I was amazed at how much I liked them. They gave me an attractive bustline and dresses simply looked better on me. I like the way they moved with me and I love the shape they gave me. I started to look more into shapewear and pads. The Breast Form Store caught my eye and I was surprised by how much they had to offer.
The Breast Form Store is also very active on Twitter. They follow a lot of t-girls, drag queens, and crossdressers and are always retweeting pictures of girls like us. They are supportive and enthusiastic about our community.
Of course they have breast forms, but they also have other pads and enhancements as well as cute clothes and sexy heels. These are a few things from them that I love and I think you will too.
First off, Jolie Thigh Pads. It is not an exaggeration to say they have changed my life. I was amazed at how much of a difference they made to how I looked. You can read my review here so I won’t rave about them too much here but I absolutely love how they look. Dresses and skirts simply look better on me when I wear them.
They give me a curvier, more shapely body than I had ever imagined. Pair them with hip pads and va-va-va-vooooooooooooooom. A little on the pricey side but I believe that they are an essential investment. Remember, creating your look takes time and patience, but in some cases, it also takes money.
The name ‘The Breast Form Store’ doesn’t leave much guesswork as to what they sell, so I was delighted to see the options they had for heels. Earlier this year they sent me severalpairs of heelsto review. Usually when I am sent something to review I end up wearing it only a few times since I, you know, keep buying new clothes so I am surprised by how much I wear two of their heels in particular.
First up, Pleaser EVE 5 inch Wrap Around Sandals with Bow Accent. Like a little black dress, I find a pair of black heels to be pretty essential. Of all the black heels I own I wear these the most often. They’re comfortable and I think the bows and the straps are subtle but eye-catching. These heels are sexy and playful.
Next up, Pleaser Dream 4 inch Criss-Cross d’Orsay High Heel Pumps. Someone told me that if I am unsure as to what heels pair well with an outfit, then you can never go wrong with beige. I wasn’t convinced because, I mean, BEIGE. Not as cute as white, not as femme as pink, not as sexy as black. Just… BEIGE.
Not the most exciting color. But this girl likes her heels so I bought a pair. And that someone was right. I was surprised by how often I wore them, especially with a brightly colored dress. In some ways a pair of beige heels doesn’t “compete” with your outfit and doesn’t take away the attention from what you’re wearing. But I love sexy, I love subtle and these heels deliver. The color is one I think every girl needs, but they also have a subtle sexiness that I adore. The strappy, crisscross detail is exactly what I mean. If beige isn’t your color, the heels do come in different options.
Before pads and forms I wanted to be as “me” as possible when it came to my body. Tucking is one of those conversations a girl like us tends to have. Nothing ruins a good dress like a penis, someone once said. I was always a little afraid of tucking as I had heard stories of girls doing it wrong. I also didn’t see how much more effective a gaff could be compared to a tight pair of panties or a thong. But crossdressing is about learning and I was happy to find out how wrong I was about tucking and gaffs. First off, if you are tucking and it hurts, then you are doing it wrong. Listen to your body. Secondly, find an effective and comfortable gaff. I reviewed a couple different styles of gaffs from The Breast Form Store and I was impressed by how comfortable (after some trial and error, but again, learning by doing) and how effective they were. I understand that minimizing or emphasizing parts of our body isn’t right for everyone, but if you are looking to minimize your “feminine flaw” then you should look into these.
There’s nothing quite like finishing your day in a nightgown. I have a few nighties and most of them fall slightly above the knee so I was really happy to find the Elegant Moments ‘Serena’ Satin Gown. It’s long and feels amazing with newly shaved legs. The smoothness of my skin against the fabric is simply divine. I wasn’t sure about the halter tie but it’s never been an issue when I wear this gown. I love falling asleep in this and I love waking up in it. You will too. 🙂
Now that Thanksgiving is in the rear view mirror, it’s getting harder to ignore that Christmas is less than four weeks away.
I don’t know about you but when I was growing up I did receive some nice gifts, but I can’t tell you how badly I hoped that the packages under the tree had a beautiful dress in them instead of a sweater. I still hope for the same thing.
After all my shopping for others is done, I always treat myself to something for Hannah. This year will be no different despite how odd this holiday season has been so far. This entire year has been depressing in a few ways and it’s sad to see many local businesses struggle to survive. I support the businesses that I love and value as much as I can, whether it’s a small coffee shop or an independent book store or a local restaurant.
And yes, shopping online is not the same as hitting the mall en femme, but let’s face it, it’s not as fun as it usually is right now Over the next few days I will be featuring a few places that would very much appreciate your business.
Yes, I know that I model and write for En Femme, but I chose to partner with them because I think their clothes are super cute and they fit really well. It’s been a fun and enjoyable partnership. I wanted to put a spotlight on a few of my favorite outfits that I’ve modeled for them and that I have purchased for myself.
En Femme is having a huge Black Friday sale so I encourage you to check out what they have to offer.
Love, love, love this gown. The fit is flattering and the slit is incredibly sexy. The gown has built-in pockets for breast forms and the straps are nice and wide. The length is perfect for a girl like us. It’s a beautiful dress and the photos don’t do it justice. I had planned on wearing it for the annual MN T-Girls holiday party but, you know, COVID.
This dress is super cute and it’s on clearance! Like other dresses from En Femme, the fit is true to size, the skirt has a subtle pleat to it, and the wind really likes to blow it around if you’re into that sort of thing, lol. It’s just a fun dress and pairs well with beige heels.
Of all the things I haven’t been able to do this year, not being able to wear this dress out shopping or… anywhere is at the top of the list. If you like showing off your legs like I do, you will love this dress. The colors are bold and the silver is very sparkly. Like the other dress, it has a bit of a pleat but it’s less subtle than the swing dress.
I rarely wear skirts so when I find a cute outfit I can put together with a skirt and a blouse it makes me really happy. This outfit…. my god, it’s not for the shy. The skirt is shorter than it looks, if that makes sense but for me that is a plus. I love leather and PVC but if I can, I always go with vegan leather. Not because I’m vegan but because I think vegan leather is very sexy. It’s got a bit of a stretch and a shine to it compared to real leather.
This blouse is equally daring. A plunging neckline and the fabric gathers at the bust to create an eye-catching look.
Both parts of this outfit are sexy but paired together with glossy stockings… watch out.
In honor of Black Friday, let’s discuss the essential and understated power of the Little Black Dress.
The LBD is a staple of many of our wardrobes and it can be dressed up or dressed down. It’s a versatile dress and comes in so many styles and designs. Looking through my wardrobe I have so many options of LBDs… leather, PVC, satin, lace, peplum, velvet… dresses for any occasion whether it is shopping or clubbing (not that I go clubbing but if I did I have a perfect dress for it).
Until my early 30’s, my dressing was mainly panties and lingerie. I owned heels from time to time but I never had many dresses. I thought they were cute and there was always a longing when I saw someone wearing a pretty dress but when I wore one I didn’t care for how it looked. I didn’t feel cute, I didn’t look cute. Because of this I believed that my dressing stopped, so to speak, at lingerie.
Years later I learned how wrong I was.
I didn’t change as much as I learned how I wanted to look in a dress. If I order a dress and I try it on, I look terrible in it. I look as terrible as I did all those years ago. The difference between now and then is that when I try on a dress I know I am only seeing if it fits. I don’t know if I like a dress or if I feel cute in it until I am wearing my forms, my thigh pads, my hip pads, and my corset. I need my shapewear to see how it fits, to see how it looks on Hannah’s body, not the boy’s body. In male mode no matter how cute a dress is I always look like a boy wearing a dress. There’s no shape, no curves, the cut doesn’t compliment my femme shape. It just kind of… hangs on my body.
I didn’t see the potential of a dress when I was younger, but I do now.
When I started to properly create my wardrobe and add more than panties to my closet, the first dress I bought was a LBD. It was from Target of all places. Why did I chose a LBD? Well, they’re iconic. Classy, sexy, and was perfect for the look I wanted. A LBD can be paired with jewelry, amazing stilettos, black stockings… the formal look was always appealing to me and a LBD was perfect.
But the LBD was also… well, safe, in a way. Black is slimming, black can help you blend in. Of course, a LBD can help you stand out but black doesn’t necessarily draw attention the same way a bright pink dress or a dress with a floral or bold pattern can. I was timid back then even if I was dressing up to have a girls night in with my wife.
As time passed and my confidence grew I became more comfortable as I went out en femme. I wasn’t drawing the stares and pointed fingers I was expecting. I noticed that most people didn’t care that a t-girl was at the mall. Yes, some people cared and did a double take but for the most part people minded their own business or were distracted by their phones. My wardrobe stated to move from black to bright colors and fun patterns. Accepting that I was never going to blend in, I went the opposite direction. If people are going to stare at a t-girl then I may as well have a fabulous dress that looks as cute as I (usually) feel.
My wardrobe has fewer LBDs in it than it used to, but that is a testament to my growing confidence and a reflection of my not caring (and wondering) about what people think of me. Honestly, they’re probably not caring or thinking about me at all. I mean, I don’t care what people are doing or wearing out in the real world, why would I think anyone else does? (I mean, I know some people are nosy and care waaay too much about things that have zero impact on their own lives, but you get my point.)
So here’s to the LBD, my gateway dress and one of the most essential things this t-girl can own.
I knew someone who worked at a store that sold lingerie, adult videos, and sex toys. She would talk about all the perverts that would come into the shop and she had some hilarious (and creepy) stories. She had a customer who would come in every few weeks and ask to see what was in the back room. There’s nothing back there, she would tell him. He would wink and say sure there isn’t. This exchange went on for months. Each time he would ask and each time she would tell him the back room was where the employees hung up their coats and microwave their lunches. He was convinced there was something sexier back there besides kitchen appliances and coat hooks. After a while he came in, slapped two hundred dollars on the counter and asked to see what was in the back room. Tired of this exchange, she slipped the money into her pocket and told him to go ahead and look.
A few seconds later he returned and reported besides kitchen appliances and coat hooks, there was nothing back there. He left the store with two hundred dollars less than he had when he walked in and she never saw him again. The store sold fun toys and sexy lingerie and killer stilettos. What he saw in the store was much sexier than anything he couldn’t see. I think about this story from time to time. It’s a reminder that our fantasies are a lot more fun than reality. I mean, obviously. That’s why they’re fantasies.
Hannah is quite the social media butterfly. I post photos on Flickr, I tweet, and I have had a website for a few years. Being on social media opens up a lot of doors and helps me in a few ways. It raises my profile which helped me get noticed by En Femme and helped create a partnership that I am in love with. Blogging helps me sort out my thoughts, and posting photos, to be honest, helps feed my ego or give me a boost when dysphoria hits.
Of course there is a downside to being this visible. Sometimes when I am feeling ugly or depressed about not looking as cute as I would like to I’ll post a photo because, well, I want reassurance. The likes and the comments help my self-esteem. Not all comments are flattering and posting a picture can reinforce the negative feelings I am having. Sometimes a photo can attract the type of attention I don’t want. The comments might be meant to be complimentary, but they tend to be crude and overtly sexual. There’s a difference between “You look so hot and sexy” and “I really want to fuck you”.
I don’t want you to fuck me, and I don’t want to fuck you.
Before I go any further, I want to make it clear I am not trying to humbly brag about anything. I am not trying to boost my ego by pretending to be offended. “Oh, poor Hannah, people want to have sex with her” you may be thinking. “God, it must be terrible to have guys messaging her asking to go out with them”. I am not flattered in the least by this type of attention or these types of comments. I would prefer not to get them at all.
The messages and comments that I think about the most are the ones that ask me to send them nudes.
Under all of *this*, I have a body of a cismale in their 40’s. It’s… not cute. You really don’t want to see it. Like the guy from the store, what you see is much sexier than what you don’t.
I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but if you think I’m cute, thank you, but you really, really don’t want to see me naked. So stop asking. You don’t want that. I mean, there’s also the whole aspect of not asking girls to take off their clothes for you, but if you don’t already know not to ask that I really don’t know what to tell you.
(Upon rereading this I realize that this is a very odd thing to write about but I suppose I needed to vent, lol)
I have a question regarding wearing female clothing while presenting in boy mode. I ask because I like to wear something female specific even when presenting in boy mode. Currently I am wearing women’s jeans and just picked up a pair of women’s combat boots that could pass for men’s shoes. I struggle to find footwear that would not be too feminine that I can still wear. What are some options that can be displayed as gender neutral even though the clothing is made for women?
I wear femme clothes in boy mode mostly because they are more comfortable and softer than boy clothes. Femme jeans are soooo much more comfortable than boy jeans. The fit is better, the fabric is softer…. I just wish the pockets were a TINY bit bigger. My femme jeans look very much like boy jeans but there are some subtle difference. The same thing goes with leggings. I have boy leggings and girl leggings and I exercise in both of them, but the femme leggings are so much more comfortable. But like my jeans, if you know what you are looking for you can tell they came from the section of Target that most men don’t shop in.
I think some of us wear femme clothes in boy mode because we are… well, testing the waters so to speak. Will anyone notice? If they do, will anyone say anything? If they say something, will they care? Will they make a fuss about it? If they notice but it’s not a big deal, perhaps we have found someone we can be honest with.
Shoes though… well, there’s not a ton of options. Most femme shoes are super cute but often times practicality is exchanged for the cuteness of them. If I wanted to wear femme shoes in boy mode I would avoid anything with a heel, obviously. This is one of the of those instances where you can see a shoe and your first impression is probably the same impression most people will have. If you look at a shoe and think it’s a little too femme, chances are most people will think the same thing. If you’re fine with that or if that’s look you’re going for (or you don’t care what others think), then go for it.
Interested in being spotlighted? Send an email (email@example.com) with the subject line ‘T-Girl Spotlight’!
Hi there, my name is Talia and I have been enjoying Hannah’s blog for a few years now. She is always insightful and often I find strength in what she shares. I guess one of the biggest things I have learned is that all our journeys are unique, and they are all equally valid.
My journey is, as I see it, a little unusual and I wanted to share that with you. I want to show what might be a different approach to the usual, one that has worked for my specific circumstances and one I hope might resonate with some of you.
I am 51 now and live in New Zealand. I was around 8 when I realised, I wasn’t like the other boys but, that was the 1970s and back then I lived in England. Let’s just say, these matters weren’t discussed then, especially in a military family. So, I did what so many of us do, I pretended to be ‘normal’ whatever that word means.
I left home and tried to transition at 18, we are now in the 1980s and I am in Scotland. Once again, the world wasn’t ready, and I gave up. That was that as far as I could see. Talia was a dream, one much like the dream I once had of being an astronaut, one destined never to become reality.
3 years ago, that changed. I couldn’t keep this bottled up anymore. I reasoned that my best outcome was to die a miserable old man filled with regret. Not the best life. The trouble was I had married in my late 20s and didn’t want to destroy my wife’s life or to lose her. I love her deeply.
Marriage is a compromise. It is a partnership between two people and as they change so does the relationship. To me though the key thing was that I love my wife and she loves me. How the heck could I make this work?
I kind of just did it. Please don’t for one-minute think I am some super-confident woman. Absolutely not. I work in a large organisation (well large for New Zealand) with around 5000 staff. I was finding it really harrowing telling people of my plans to introduce Talia at work so, I arranged a 15-minute spot at our annual conference and came out on stage to 1000 people at once. Sounds scary? I wasn’t, I couldn’t make out any faces other than a few friends who knew in the front row. Job done.
The speech was so well received I have adapted it into a diversity advocacy speech which I now deliver to companies throughout NZ and even Australia. I must have spoken to over 100,000 people by now and the message is always the same. Invisible diversity (i.e. people hiding their difference) is everywhere. Embrace it, let people be themselves at work and not only will they benefit mentally (enough of a reason in itself) but so will the organisation. Happy staff work better.
Today I am fully out as Talia at work, she goes to the office every day in a variety of outfits which I love so much more than the old suit and tie. Having colour, shape, and style to play with every day is such a release from the old world where I was limited to a colourful shirt and maybe funky socks on a Friday. I have joined Global Women as their diversity lead (https://www.globalwomen.org.nz/member/talia-child/) and was a finalist in the NZ Women of Influence in ICT awards in 2019 for my advocacy work (the first trans-woman ever nominated).
My friends and family know accept and love Talia. I have flown from New Zealand to London (as Talia the whole way) several times. OK the first time I flew Thai reasoning they might be more used to ‘people like me’ but since then on a variety of airlines, even through the Middle East. I have never ever had a problem or noticed a sideways disapproving glance.
You should know I am 6’5” with a US17 shoe size and the moment I stand up any pretence I pass is lost. My voice, while not gruff, sounds exactly how you might expect, again once I speak, passing is no longer an option. But passing as what? I am not a genetic girl I never will be, I am me. I pass 100% as me, how could I not? I have learned to embrace that. As the great Dr Seuss said, “why try to blend in when you were born to stand out”? I stand out and I love that, I even sign off my social media with #glamazon. That is how I see myself.
Ahhh but my wife I hear you ask. Well she isn’t ready (after 3 years I suspect she never will be) to meet Talia. So, I live as him at home. My wife is totally aware Talia goes all over but is secure knowing that she won’t ever lose her husband unless she is ready.
Is this ideal? No of course not, but it is a compromise I can live with. I am living my dream while keeping the marriage with the one person I love most in the world. It works for us.
Boy-me was a loner, he had few friends and was always miserable. Now? Now I have so many friends and I am the happiest I have ever been. We all find our own ways to deal with the amazing gift we have been given. This is mine. I hope you read this and feel in a small way less alone. Whatever path you choose – be the best you possible.
I have been crossdressing for years and loving every minute and I am older now and would like to meet another girl, whom to have fun with, travel, shop, make-up…… You get the idea, I’m not a night girl any longer and just don’t know where to meet other girls during the day. This virus has put a damper on everything, what should I do?
There are really only two options when it comes to meeting other girls like us. You can join a support group. There is probably a PFLAG chapter near you, or simply google “transgender support (city name)” and see what you can find.
A long, long time ago (well, 1999 but lately last week feels like a long, long time ago), Brad Pitt appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone. This was not surprising as he was (and remains today) one of the biggest celebrities in the world. What made this significant was that he was wearing a dress. The interview showed Pitt in other dresses and on one hand, yes, it was a celebrity possibly trying to be “shocking” (OMG A BOY IN A DRESS) but he also talked about how comfortable dresses were and that he predicted that men would be wearing skirts in the future.
I’M STILL WAITING, BRAD.
Of course I know now that no one will ever “let” me wear what I want, and even if it becomes, well, not acceptable but perhaps less weird for a boy to wear a dress it won’t be in my lifetime.
But at the time I was thrilled. Perhaps a little naive or insanely optimistic but when I was 24 I thought perhaps it WOULD be acceptable for me to wear a skirt. Not presenting en femme mind you, but me in boy mode wearing a skirt. I had hoped that surely the biggest, manliest actor in the world would help shake off the taboo that people with my anatomy would be allowed to wear a certain piece of fabric. But of course this didn’t happen. But it’s not his fault. Even if he wore a skirt every day for the rest of his life it probably still wouldn’t change the world.
But the world doesn’t need to change (and it won’t) for you or me to be “allowed” to wear a skirt or whatever else we want to wear. It’s never going to be okay.
There’s no question I love love love all things femme when it comes to clothes. I present as either boy or girl as someone who is bi-gender. But even presenting as a boy I am likely wearing something femme even if it’s just underdressing. I sleep in a nightgown, I wear leggings in boy mode, sometimes I have painted toenails. Would I wear a skirt in boy mode? Of course I would.
So, why don’t I? I could and I do at home, but why not running errands? I don’t know. I suppose I wouldn’t want to be seen or recognized. I am more nervous about being seen in boy mode wearing a skirt than being seen en femme. I am less recognizable as Hannah, I think. I also don’t want the attention as a boy. In some ways it’s more common to see a t-girl at the store than seeing a boy in a skirt.
I started to think about all this the other day when the new issue of Vogue came out. On the cover we have one of the biggest celebrities in the world… and he’s wearing a dress. Harry Styles is rocking a pretty amazing gown and it looks so fun to wear. As expected social media blew up and took sides. One side is all about support and recognizing that clothes are just clothes, the other side talks about how men should be manly or whatever.
I don’t want to say I am more cynical than I was in 1999, but I didn’t have the same sense of optimism that I did back then. I mean, YES, part of me was hoping that maybe this time, this cover would slowly start the gears turning to shifting the genderization of fabric and colors but realistically it won’t.
So, what will it take for it to be “okay” for a boy to wear a skirt? Again, it being okay is not realistic, so I’ll stick with less weird. What will it take for it to be less weird for me to go to the store in a boy t-shirt and a skirt? Not some celebrity, I can tell you that. It will take US. Normal, non-celebrities to start this movement. When an actor wears a dress, by and large the public just rolls their eyes and says that Hollywood actors are just trying to get attention or they’re just being shocking or controversial. If boys want to wear skirts, we can look to the fight that cis-women fought for the right to wear pants. No one said it was okay, they fought for it.
I don’t listen to what “they” say when it comes to presenting en femme. But I hold myself back from blurring gender norms in boy mode. And that’s silly. We can’t listen to what they say. I tune out a lot of opinions and perspectives. I don’t listen to people who think the earth is flat or that vaccines don’t work or don’t think girls shouldn’t play video games, why should I listen to someone saying that boys can’t wear a skirt?
Life is about choosing your battles and your crusades. Part of me wants to fight the war of… uh, BOYS CAN WEAR SKIRTS but in many ways I have chosen my fight of representing the bi-gender community. I’ll let others fight for this. Of course, I could just wear a skirt and forget about any world changing movement. But like I mentioned earlier, it’s a little more… exposing than I am comfortable with. I would rather be noticed as Hannah than seen by someone I know wearing a skirt. And honestly? I think about my wife in all of this. There’s no question that this side of me has caused her a lot of stress and worry. In the early days it was the stress of where all of THIS was going. Soon it was the fear of being seen and recognized. It was a fear of being assaulted by someone. I don’t want to put her through anything else. I feel enough guilt about this side of me as it is.
Don’t misunderstand me, she is wonderful and supportive. She understands this side of me as much as it can be understood. She knows how important my gender identity is to me. But the side of me that wants to wear a skirt in boy mode? Despite everything I’ve written about it, it’s really not that important to me. It is not crucial to my identity. Sure, I wish it was “okay” but really, I’m fine. For me, it’s not worth putting her through any potential stress. Honest.
No, Brad Pitt didn’t change the world. Harry Styles won’t. But you might.