Ask Hannah!

Hi Hannah. I am so tired of my moustache. My hair is 4″ down past my shoulders and I am just starting to have fun with hair accessories like clips and such. With your hair and 2 seconds you can change a mood. Anyways.. my moustache- it’s right there. I hate looking at it everyday. So I bought one of those laser hair removal gadgets. I haven’t tried it yet and was wondering if you could tell me anything about them. Does it work for man whiskers? Does it work at all? Does the hair ever grow back?

Without knowing exactly what you purchased it’s hard to say. I am inclined to be skeptical of affordable products that claim to be the equivalent of expensive procedures. If you purchased the item online, such as Amazon, you should be able to look at comments from others who have purchased the same item.

That being said, anyone out there have any product they would recommend?

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Letting Go of the Binary

The Pride festival is always an enlightening experience. I mean, the people watching cannot be beat. It’s really the only place on the planet where you can see people living exactly how they want to live. There’s no judgement, there’s no shame (except for those who have a kinkshame) at Pride.

Until someone goes to a Pride festival they may think that they are, well, anything goes. I mean, yes, there are some who really let their freak flag fly (and really, good for them) but what I mean is that this past weekend I saw furries, drag queens, families, people of all genders, people wearing sports jerseys from their favorite team… the list goes on.

It’s really the only place where people are living their best life. They dress how they choose, they’re holding the hand of the person they love, and feeling a part of a community. They are expressing affection and wearing what they wish at the only place they feel safe in doing so. If only the whole world was a place where people felt this safe.

It’s an opportunity to be reminded of how all different we are from each other. How complicated and how nuanced we all are. And not just in the “some people are furries” thing, but how unique we all are.

And I KNOW this is coming off as a cliched “everyone is special” post but that’s not what I’m getting at. What I mean is that if you spend time with people and have a chance to see them for who they are, you may find something about them that makes them interesting and endearing.

Of course some people are as interesting as doorknobs, but I digress.

When one looks back at their relationship history they can probably list why they fell for who they did. Perhaps it was their personality or their sense of humor. Maybe it was the shape of their face or their fashion sense that sparked the physical attraction.

Friends aren’t much different. We begin friendships for different reasons, often from a shared interest. Over time we ask different people in our lives for advice or their perspective on different things.

I think my point is that there are so many reasons to be drawn to someone else. There are so many different ways that people can express themselves. With so many possibilities it’s almost silly to think that there are only two genders and that sexual attraction is limited to just one other gender.

I hope that we as humans can let go of the binary. That we stop enforcing our own beliefs onto someone else just because we don’t understand what someone else is feeling.

Love, Hannah

Hello from Pride!

Yesterday the MN T-Girls made a fabulous return to Pride and it was a wonderful day. Organizing and preparing for Pride is a lot of work. I mean, we have to set up a tent! In heels! But we did it. Want to see?

Look at the beautiful t-girls and look. at. all. the. PINK.

And look at me!

Although preparing for Pride is a lot of work, once things are set up the fun really begins. It was a good day. The weather held, we chatted with a lot of people, and the T-Girls made me proud by talking with others about the group.

Every year as we struggle with driving metal stakes into the ground to secure the tent I promise myself that we are never doing this again but after a few minutes of being a part of the community I remember why we will be back.

Thank you to all of the MN T-Girls who helped make the day a success. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to say hi. It’s nice to know that we are helping others live their lives and find friendship and support.

Love, Hannah

We Should Totally Be In The Pink Zone

Oh hi!

It’s Pride week here in Minneapolis/Saint Paul and the sparkly pink glitter really hits the fan with this weekend’s festival.

The MN T-Girls will be there on Saturday and we look forward to seeing you. We will be in space 078 (in the Orange Zone) and you can find us on the map:

We should totally be in the Pink Zone though.

Come by and see us unless you’re a creep.

Love, Hannah

I Believe in Pink

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

-Aubrey Hepburn

Growing up in a binary world there was nothing worse than a boy having any association with pink. Because of this, I was drawn to the color as it had a significant connection to the feminine that I was so drawn to.

Things haven’t changed that much. At least not with how enamored I am by the color.

But in a historical sense, the color has changed significantly.

According to Gadriana, pink was not always a color choice exclusive to girls. In a time way before Barbie and Disney Princesses helped carve a way for what is now a deeply rooted stereotype, pink was a gender neutral color that was loved and worn by both sexes of the European bourgeoisie in the 18th century. In fact, pink was a unisex color that was often perceived as more masculine than feminine because it was considered to be a sub-color to red, a color that adorned men’s uniforms at the time because it was regarded as more powerful than blue. That’s why, if we look back at historical paintings of noble families and their garments, especially those coming from 19th century England, we will find boys that were dressed in pink.

This reminds me how high heels were originally designed for men for, if you can believe it, practical purposes. This is kind of ironic as most of the stilettos I own are the most impractical shoes one could even imagine. But I digress.

Pink had a strong grip on me while growing up and that hold still has me today. Pink can be bright and pink can be soft and subtle but today pink is mostly associated with femininity and I wear it proudly.

Love, Hannah

Thoughts on Pride

So, Pride is this upcoming weekend. I mean, Pride is allll of June and many cities have Pride celebrations outside of the month but Minneapolis will have their Pride festival beginning later this week.

The MN T-Girls have had a booth/tent thing for a few years but last year due to COVID we skipped it but we went as festival goers to a scaled down event.

I love Pride. It’s amazing how… normal it feels to be there. When I am out en femme I feel comfortable but I also feel a little like an outsider. As far as I know, I am likely the only trans person in whichever boutique or coffee shop I am in but I am also usually the only girl in heels and a dress as well.

But Pride? Girl, I am underdressed at Pride. Between the drag queens and other fabulously dressed girls I feel I need to up my glam game.

I still feel a little on edge at Pride. In my boy life I have a lot of LGBTQIA+ friends and acquaintances that don’t know about Hannah and although I am certain they would be accepting and even enthusiastic about my gender identity I still would prefer not to go down that road.

Pride is about celebrating every letter in the LGBTQIA+ acronym but it’s also normal for cis and straight allies to come to festivals and cheer at the parade. Which is good. We need allies and we especially need allies who actually stand with us and go beyond simply saying they support us.

The edge I feel at Pride is mostly apprehension. Will I see someone at Pride that I don’t want to come out to? Maybe. Will a sudden strong gust of wind lift a tent off the ground again and cut me in the face leaving a scar that I still have? Maybe. Will this happen again? Maybe.

I’ve always been nervous and fearful about violence at Pride. It has happened and I think it will continue to happen. So far the worst of planned attacks have been prevented… so far.

I admit that stories like this give me pause and wonder if the MN T-Girls should even attend. The safety of girls like me at official T-Girl events is always my biggest concern, whether it’s about education about safely wearing a gaff or organizing events that will hopefully be without incident.

I suppose that’s the POINT of terror, to stop someone from living their lives. As a country we have the mentality of not giving into terroristic threats in all its forms, so there is that.

Pride is supposed to be a safe haven for all of us. Indeed, it’s sometimes the ONLY safe haven. It’s just a shame that even at Pride we have to be on edge.

Love, Hannah

Saying OMG, YES to the Dress

This side of us can overlap into fantasy territory. Not necessarily sexual territory and it’s not uncommon for a girl like us to be a fantasy for someone else, but the fantasy is often daydreaming about THE dress or where we would wear an amazing outfit.

The degrees that this daydreaming can span can be extreme. We think about what outfit we would wear to simply having a cup of a coffee but we also daydream about what we would wear to a gala.

My adventures (if you can call them that) are the everyday kind. Shopping, having coffee, things like that. Don’t get me wrong, there is magic in the day to day, but this girl fantasizes about ballgowns and black tie parties.

I have dresses for “just in case” situations. I used to go to nightclubs and such but I don’t anymore. BUT if I ever did I have THE perfect dress for such an evening. I can’t imagine the oft daydreamed gala but I still look for THE DRESS that I would wear to such an occasion. I had such a gown but after I lost a significant amount of weight it no longer fit.

I look for ballgowns whenever I visit a second-hand boutique but I rarely find one that fits or that is within my budget. I mean, YES, I could find such a dress if I was willing to spend hundreds of dollars but even I can’t justify spending that much money for something that may never leave my closet.

I look on eBay but I don’t have much luck there either.

So, you can imagine how excited I was when I discovered Queenly. Queenly is a marketplace where you can find amazing dresses for those faaaaancy events we’ve been fantasizing about, whether it’s a wedding reception or staying in on a Saturday. I mean, many of us have dressed to kill just to stay in and binge watch a show. I have.

I spent toooo much time on Queenly looking at everything from bridesmaid dresses to prom dresses to cocktail dresses which is ironic considering I will likely never be a bridesmaid, go to prom, or drink again.

Although I doubt I will ever have a chance to wear a dress like this to an appropriately fancy party I can wear such a gown to a photo shoot. Queenly also regularly hires transgender models for their website so there’s another daydream that I have.

Every once in a while my hubris gets the best of me and I think I have what it takes to do more modeling. Queenly, like other designers, partners with Slay Models which, according to their website, is the premier management company representing transgender fashion talent. We see trans individuals as beautiful. Our strong commitment to developing them as successful models is not about quantifying the model’s gender, it is about their passion and commitment to being the best possible models they can be.

When I heard about Slay I thought maybe I should assemble a portfolio and submit to to them… but then I saw their current models and I was immediately humbled.

Each of these models are wearing dresses found on Queenly, by the way.

After spending a few days on Queenly I found quite a few dresses that fit my budget and really caught my eye. I eagerly wait for the giant box to be delivered.

And! Not only does Queenly have a zillion dresses they also have excellent customer service. I made a mistake with my order and they responded right away and fixed my silly error.

I don’t know about you but prom and wedding season makes me long for beautiful gowns and fancy events. I don’t think I will ever be asked to prom but perhaps I can organize my own black tie event. If I do, I will soon have THE dress for it.

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I would love to get your expert opinion on something. I’m wondering if I should go to a crossdressing service for a makeover. My wife has known about my interests from early in our relationship. It has been a contentious topic at times (it’s something she doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to engage in) but we have settled with an understanding that I can dress whenever no one else is home.

I met my wife early after school and while she was ok with me doing it alone, she doesn’t want to be around it. As a result, I have some outfits but never do my make up or paint my nails or wear a wig because I’m too afraid I won’t take it all off before my family gets home. In therapy, I’ve come to the understanding that I want to be dressed like a girl with someone else (non sexual) but I am terrified of exposing that side of me to someone else. I am trying to work through this as I think about dressing pretty constantly and I know it’s not healthy (something needs to change). I live in an area with a service that offers crossdressing make overs … they do outfits, make up, nails, wig, everything. I feel like that would help fulfill my inner desire of both truly dressing head to toe like a girl and doing so with someone who would accept me. I brought it up with my wife and she is uneasy that it could leave me at risk for public exposure. She tries to be understanding of my desires but also wishes I could “just stop.” Would love your thoughts? Do you see a reason why going for a makeover would be a problem? Could it be helpful / beneficial? Thank you so much!

There’s really nothing like girl talk and being en femme from wig to heels is truly magical.

If you are fortunate enough to have a transformation salon in your area then I would absolutely encourage you to go…

IF (you knew there would be an if) your wife is onboard. Many of us have partners that we would, in your words, “just stop” but we all know that’s not going to happen. It sounds like your wife, although she doesn’t understand this side of you, understands that this is a part of you. So, you have that much. You have more than most of us.

As for any potential problems, there are some issues to consider. If you do this, do not go behind her back. Keep in mind that this side of us is not going away and can often lead to the Pink Fog. The Pink Fog can influence our decisions and can cause us to do things we PROBABLY shouldn’t. For me, I can’t resist a photo shoot for very long. If you go, I think you will have one of the best days of your life… and it won’t be long until you want to go again. BUT these services are expensive. Multiple visits may cause tension between you and your wife, but they may also impact your financially as well.

Listen to her. Listen to her what she says while you discuss this. Listen to what she doesn’t say. Notice her nonverbal communication, her body language. If you think this would be a very contentious decision, it may not be the wisest choice.

The biggest commitment we make in our lives is the one we make to our partners. We must respect them and their feelings.

I don’t want to be a wet blanket and I applaud your communication with her. Keep doing that. Keep living within any boundaries she’s requested. Keep going to therapy. Keep being honest.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Dragged Up Memories: A History of Twin Cities Drag

Minnesota Monthly has an article about the history of drag in the Twin Cities. I suppose the title of this blog entry kind of gave away what today’s post is about.

Although I am not a drag queen I am fascinated by how amazing some queens look. The makeup skill, the heels, and the clothes.

Fun fact! The queen in the picture is Julia Starr. Julia used to do makeovers for MAC when there was a store/salon in Uptown (a neighborhood in Minneapolis). I had my makeup done by Julia several times and my goodness I looked AMAZING. My cheekbones and contouring have never looked better.

Love, Hannah