I received a few emails over the last few days about my recent post which talked about girls like us being sexualized and fetishized.
So, I wanted to clarify a few things.
Yes, I like wearing sexy dresses. I love leather and PVC fashions. I think I look good and I love how they make me feel.
When you are on social media, you open yourself up to comments and messages. It comes with the territory. Yes, I could shut off comments and close my messages, but I don’t want to do that, especially when the majority of comments are friendly and supportive.
But there is a difference between between “that is a sexy dress” and “I want to tear that dress off you”. There’s a difference between “I support the transgender community” and “I love shemales”.
So, I wanted to illustrate a few guidelines as to what I am comfortable with and what makes my skin crawl.
My friend Marci and I were chatting recently about men commenting on photos we post online. Most comments are kind, but of course there are always those that come from men who clearly sexualize and fetishize girls like us.
These comments are beyond the typical “ur sexy” comments but are oddly specific when it comes to being dominated by a girl like us or someone’s obsession with our feet. Really? Feet?
These responses are usually pretty easy to ignore and one would hope they are relatively harmless. I do get annoyed at how they can contribute to the overall fetishization of our community and can influence the thinking that we are who we are for some sexual reason. Who I am might be your fetish, but it is certainly not mine.
I am who I am for me, I am not who I am for you.
I was chatting with my friend Marci recently about how we often feel that we are the tallest girls in the world, and wearing four inch stilettos isn’t helping.
But no one is too tall to be a girl. And no one is too tall to wear heels.
I was blown away by her newest photo composition which perfectly portrays how I feel when I am out in the real world. I feel tall, I feel as if everyone is looking at me, and I feel beautiful.
I hope you like this as much as I do and I really hope you follow her on Flickr. You can see her other compositions here and here.
I want to ask how I can tell my wife that I’m a cross dresser, I have been this way my whole life I’ve always known, I have tried to keep my desire a secret but the older I get it get harder to hide this . I tried to come out to my wife 3 years ago , I got myself worked up to tell her and I even said the words but it didn’t go well and after talking for 3 hours I basically back tracked and said it was just a phase I went through as a teen and hadn’t done it since which was a lie and after all that and her questions the next day it was ignored and we haven’t mentioned it since and I just want her to say something again but she hasn’t. Should I push the issue again?
I wouldn’t push the issue but that is different than bringing it up again.
Since you attempted to discuss it previously, you should know how she responded the first time. You said it didn’t go well, but this revelation rarely does. Why didn’t it go well? What were her concerns? Was she afraid you were gay? That you wanted to transition?
If you do decide to bring the topic up again, be prepared to discuss what her concerns were that she raised the first time you came out.
And although she hasn’t brought it up since you had the talk, rest assured she probably thinks about it everyday.
Keep in mind that we shouldn’t come out with the hope or expectation that our partners will “let” us wear panties or paint our nails or however we wish to express our gender identity. We should be open with our partners because it is the right thing to do, regardless of what we need to be open about.
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
As shelter-in-place restrictions are eased, we are able to slowly and gradually return to parts of our lives that have been off-limits for a while. I am excited for this for a number of reasons. One would think these restrictions are being phased out because the curve is flattening but that doesn’t seem to be the case, unfortunately. That would be the reason I would be most excited about, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Regardless, I am excited to go out en femme and resume MN T-Girls events and photo shoots. I have a shoot in June for En Femme and another shoot for some amazing stilettos I was sent to review.
Part of my review for the heels will be about matching the shoes with an appropriate outfit. Which mini-dress looks best with a pair of sky-high stilettos, for example. Sometimes the answer is obvious, sometimes this decisions keeps me up at night (not really. Okay, maybe a little).
This side of me has an amazing wardrobe with a zillion different possibilities. On one hand this is wonderful, on the other hand, it can be quite intimidating. Putting together an outfit with everything from earrings to stockings to shoes to a top and making sure it all goes together is a learning curve. I still have a hard time matching a skirt to a top which is one of the reasons I mostly wear dresses.
I’ve been thinking about which dresses I will wear for the shoes over the last few days and I think I have decided on two out of the three, but still considering the final pair. Putting together an outfit is not unlike playing dress up with paper dolls.
Have you found putting together outfits easy? What are some of your fashion rules?
Not too long ago I submitted a few photos for Glamour Boutique‘s annual Glamour Girl contest. I might be doing better than I expected to based on this tweet:
I am super surprised and flattered. Thank you so much!
These days it almost feels like an accomplishment to get through the week. But in case you needed a reminder, it’s finally Friday.
Minnesota is easing some restrictions on Monday, and more are going to be lifted on June 1st. I am excited (and wary) about going back out into the real world. I have two photo shoots to do, one for En Femme and another to review some amazing heels, in the next coming weeks, so I am looking forward to getting back to work (safely, of course).
But congratulations on making it to Friday! I fully believe that life is about having things to be proud of, and things to look forward to. As a t-girl, crossdresser, or however else you identify, what are you most proud of? What are you looking forward to?