Month: September 2022

The Wings of Butterflies

by Hannah

I knew I was looking pretty extra that afternoon. My makeup was bold and dramatic, my dress was flirty and cute, my heels were as glittery as a five year old’s birthday party.

I was the exact opposite of trying to blend in…. which is as freeing as can be. I don’t try to blend in very often. I am going to stand out no matter where I go or what I wear. Not that I think I am SO PRETTY and I that look SO AMAZING that everyone will stare at me and be CAPTIVATED BY MY BEAUTY. No. I don’t feel that way at all. I am a transgirl who is over six feet tall…without heels. Tall or trans, being one of those two adjectives is, by default, going to make one stand out. Two of them? You may as well shine a spotlight on someone and have someone announcing your presence as you strut into any room or boutique.

Aaaand for some of us this is TERRIFYING. And I one hundred percent get it. We just want to live our best lives and run errands and do things en femme and present as the gender (or at least one of the genders) that we identify as. For a myriad of reasons we may not WANT to stand out. We don’t want to be read or recognized. We don’t want to be stared at or laughed at or pointed at. We just want to get a coffee and run errands.

And for the most part this is exactly what I experience when I am out en femme. Hardly anyone acknowledges me weirdly or reacts in a negative way. I really can’t remember the last time I felt someone was giving off bad vibes towards me. If anything, it’s simply the expected reaction of “dang, that girl is tall” or “hey, a transgirl” and then everyone continues with what they were doing.

Of course, not bothering to blend in is not the same as TRYING to stand out. I am probably overdressed for everything that I do, but I rarely feel my outfit is COMPLETELY out of place. I love my floor length gown but I am not wearing it to the mall (but wouldn’t that be fun? God, maybe I should). I like to show a little leg but there are some dresses that are actually tooooo short to shop in.

My point is (and it took me long enough to get here) is that I wasn’t surprised when the girls at the counter said something about my outfit.

Again, I am not saying “OMG I LOOK SO PRETTY EVERYONE IS GOING TO TELL ME I AM PRETTY BECAUSE I AM ACTUALLY VERY PRETTY”. I have enough self-awareness to know that a six foot tall girl wearing a bright red dress and sparkly heels is not going to be lost in the crowd. After all, how many others are dressed like this as they spend a Saturday afternoon shopping?

They loved my dress, they loved my heels. We made small talk and I felt welcomed and validated and happy. They made my day. Their words were kind but my feeling of gratitude went beyond what they were saying about my stilettos. What I mean is that I don’t pass (which isn’t real anyway) and I am obviously transgender… AND they were kind to me. I would rather have someone be kind to me that knows I am trans instead of someone being kind to me because they think I am cis.

I feel that how people interact with me is primarily based on how they feel about trans people in general. If the cashier is friendly and chatty my assumption is that they are more than likely an ally. If they are kind of rude and short and they give me that look, well, they probably aren’t a fan of people outside of the gender binary.

Of course, this thinking might be overthinking a little (as I am wont to do). After all, friendly customer service is something that people in the service industry HAVE to do. No, the waitress ISN’T flirting with you, they HAVE to be friendly. It’s also equally possible that the barista is totally cool with t-girls but perhaps they are just having a bad day.

BUT! it’s easy to tell when someone is doing the bare minimum to qualify as politeness as opposed when it FEELS sincere and genuine. Or at least I THINK it’s easy. I used to work retail and fast food in high school and I could be feigning politeness (so I wouldn’t get fired) but all the while wanting to slap someone.

As I strutted out of the store, my head held a little higher than when I first strutted in, I felt very grateful for how the staff made a t-girl feel welcome.

Girls like us, especially when we first start going out en femme, want to find crossdresser/transgender friendly businesses. I absolutely get that. I want to find businesses like that, too. I like feeling welcomed AND I want to financially support businesses that accept and embrace queer people.

There are many businesses, both small or giant corporations, where their policy is “all are welcome here”. Which is, well, it’s fine. I mean, no businesses is going to have a mission statement that specifically discriminates against anyone. I suppose there are some businesses that have a policy that states that customers can only use the dressing room that matches the gender marked on their driver’s license. This, in my opinion, is an anti-trans policy that doesn’t specifically say that they discriminate against trans people. A policy doesn’t have to say “anti-trans” for it to BE anti-trans.

It’s rather easy to tell what the company’s values are based on their financial decisions. I doubt any of the CEOs at Chick-fil-A will ever put out a press release that says WE HATE THE GAYS but, well, they don’t need to. Their financial donations already tell us that.

Fortunately, there are many corporations that absolutely back up their “all are welcome here” belief with their money.

ANYTHING a business does runs the risk of causing a reaction from the public. It could be changing the font of their corporate logo or casting a black actress as a mermaid. These actions can either create a new customer base or trigger a boycott. There are many places that I won’t frequent because of the organizations that they donate to. I recognize that a corporation can do whatever the hell they wish to with their money but I also have the same right. I can choose which restaurants I buy a chicken sandwich from. Chick-fil-A’s values (in fiduciary practice) has helped me make the decision to never give them my money considering what they do with their profits.

One person not going to a particular business is not going to bankrupt them, but if enough people make the same decision, it will eventually affect them. Not only financially, but also impacting their reputation and effectively rebranding them. It wasn’t that long ago when MyPillow was just a little company that made pillows but in the last few years the company has transformed itself into something completely different in the eyes of the consumer.

It’s kind of bizarre.

I do think people and corporations should be called out for what they do. I’m glad a lot of this information is out there. I don’t want to support a business if they don’t align with my values.

But of course a lot of this is outside of my control.

The energy company that I use is, as far as I am aware, the only energy provider in my state. I HAVE to use them… even if they were the most racist and discriminatory organization in the world.

But again, I can choose where I buy my lunch.

The opposite of knowing this information is also true. If I have a choice of where I get coffee, I will one hundred percent of the time frequent a cafe that I know financially supports our community (whether it’s through donations or the benefits they provide to their staff).

And as long as we are waaay off track from the intended entry for today, but more or less on a related topic, let’s talk about being “canceled”.

Regardless of an specific, individual instance of a celebrity/politician/company being dragged financially or on social media, I think we have to accept that actions and words have consequences. The United States Constitution gives us the freedom of speech, but not the freedom of accountability. Sure, you CAN say “I hate queer people” but at the same time you can’t bitch if people react negatively to your actions. If you really believe something then you have to stand by what your actions, even if it’s a horrible thing to say.

There are countless people that have endless opinions that we don’t agree with… and when we realize that we also must accept that there are countless others who don’t agree with everything we ourselves say and do.

If I really believe in something then I have to be prepared to be, well, potentially persecuted for those beliefs. There have been things I’ve blogged about that (whether it’s about legislation or girl panties vs boy panties) have been incredibly unpopular and I knew it would inspire angry emails. But these are, and were, things I believe(d) in. I know some of ya’ll aren’t going to agree with everything I say AND I am not going to complain if someone stops visiting my website because we don’t agree on something. I say what I think and what I feel and I will either learn from the responses or I will continue to stand up for my beliefs.

Or both. I can do both. Sometimes I realize my perspective is wrong based on other people’s experiences and perspectives or, over time, I come to feel differently.

So yes, I support the act of canceling, even if I don’t agree with a specific instance… just like I believe in free speech, even if I don’t like what is being said.

(The irony of this is that I know that the topic of being canceled is going to lead to a lot of… passionate comments and emails, lol.)

I want to support and draw attention to businesses that do support us… beyond just a hollow mission statement. This is especially true for small businesses. When I left the store that I mentioned earlier I wanted everyone to know how trans-friendly they were.

Buuuut then I had second thoughts. I tend to overthink and it’s not uncommon for me to consider an action and then speculate on what MIGHT happen. Sometimes these imaginary scenarios lead to all of my dreams coming true but just as often they lead to the worst outcome ever.

My hesitation is that if I were to tweet about a specific business about how wonderful and welcoming they were to a transperson that it might attract the wrong demographic. My intention would be to shine a light on a business that not only has a “All Are Welcome Here” sign in their window but also backs it up by being super friendly with a girl like me (and a girl like you). As I mentioned, I like to support businesses that are inclusive and I bet there are many others that want to do this as well.

PLUS! We all want to find “crossdresser friendly businesses” so hey, everyone wins.

But God, can you imagine someone who hates the non-binary community catching wind of this and then blasting them on social media? All of a sudden this small business run by very sweet and kind people being the target of those who hate our community? This store could be dragged into a fight, a conversation, that they probably don’t want to have. They could be met with protests, boycotts, and worse.

I mean, sure, people need to walk the walk if they talk the talk. If you believe in SOMETHING, whether it’s equality for everyone or that the Earth is flat, then you better be prepared to stand up for what you believe.

I feel that we as transpeople have been politicized and even weaponized. Healthcare for has been turned into a topic during political debates. Schools and libraries are being targeted if some lunatic on Twitter thinks they are “woke”.

I do work for a college and I can assure you that I have conversations almost on the daily from parents asking if we are “woke” or if we teach CRT.

It’s funny how many people who ask these questions can’t explain what CRT actually is, but I digress…

I had one parent ask if we have any “transgenders” working at my college and it was like “oh honey, if you only knew”. Okay, I digress again.

Being who are are is a lot easier and a lot more terrifying than it was five years ago. I used to be scared of being laughed at when I went out en femme. These days girls like me are a lot more visible and it’s not as uncommon as it used to be to see someone like you and I out in the real world. It can still be scary but the consequences are higher than being pointed at.

We are not islands. Who we are impacts more than ourselves. If I were to come out to someone not only will it change the dynamic between myself and them, it will also change that person’s relationship with my wife. They will see me in a new way, they will see her in a new way. I run the risk of ruining a relationship, but I also put that risk on my wife’s relationship with them as well.

That’s just how it is.

We as transpeople are not unlike tossing a pebble into a pond. We cause ripples. We are like a butterfly wing… a small flutter can build to a hurricane. A simple shout out on Twitter could ignite a firestorm. I want to be a force (even if it’s a tiny force) of good in this world. I don’t want who I am, the words I say, to negatively impact someone who is truly good, whether it’s a small dress shop in Saint Paul or my wife.

Love, Hannah

“I’m Not The Man…

by Hannah

…they think I am at home.”

-Elton John

Sometimes I feel like I am Little Miss Oversharing as I just ramble on and on and on about anything that is on my mind. But when I think about it, I realize how much I keep to myself. I am intentionally vague about where I live (but for good reason) for example. I mean, obviously I am not going to disclose my address on my website, but some of my t-girl friends that I know in real life asked me about my new house recently and where we now live. I typically give a somewhat vague answer, a general idea of where my wife and dresses are.

Same with my job. When someone asks about my day job I respond that I work for a college.

I could get a lot more specific. I get pressed sometimes with follow up questions or requests for more information (generally this is not for nefarious reasons), usually people are just curious or making conversations. Buuut I still keep my responses pretty vague.

This is a partially an effort to keep both sides of me protected. I don’t want HER friends to know too much about him, and I don’t want anyone HE knows to know about HER… unless it’s my decision.

But it’s also because, well, when I am en femme I don’t think who HE is is important. He doesn’t have an interesting life. It’s a very good life, but there’s not much to say about it. Being en femme is, in part, a nice break from his world. It’s like… going on vacation and not wanting to think about the work piling up while you are out of the office.

Because of the very thick line that separates my two worlds from each other, there is very, very little overlap. Very, very few people know about both of me, all of me.

I sometimes reflect on this and it can be pretty amusing to me. I’ll get a new outfit delivered to me and I’ll be trying it on only for my boss to call and we have a quick chat about Work Stuff while I am wearing a cute bodycon dress (I work from home if it wasn’t obvious, lol).

If only he knew, right?

I got to thinking about this during my last photo shoot. I was wearing lingerie and thigh high stockings and was just lost in the moment. Shannonlee needed to do some adjusting with her camera so I had a few minutes to check my email.

I spent a little time going through messages from my colleagues and smiled to myself realizing that they had no idea what I was doing or wearing. How I was spending my Saturday afternoon would likely blow their minds.

I am not the man they think I am home, indeed.

I have similar thoughts on Mondays when my colleagues and I chat about our weekends. What did I do? I had an amazing makeover, modeled lingerie, and wore glittery stilettos to a coffee shop. But what do I actually tell them? That it was a pretty lazy weekend and unpacked the last of the boxes from our move.

It’s not a lie… I just left the fun parts out.

Love, Hannah

Not Quite a Centerfold…

by Hannah

…but it’s still a thrill! I am so excited and honored to be featured in the newest issue of Transliving magazine!

What’s in the next issue of Transliving Magazine (Issue 77)? Here’s a taste:
🔹 Tina Martin does photos in the style of Princess Diana
🔹 TEAMM8 introduce their new range of gender-neutral leisure wear
🔹 Kirsty reviews the annual Sparkle celebration in July
🔹 Cindi & Nicola review a day out at the races attending Brighton Ladies’ Day with a party of girls (and Richard!)
🔹 We find out about trans-model Stefania Bonomo’s experience as one of twenty women competing to be signed as a leading transgender model for the Slay Models agency
🔹 Nina Jay tells us about her experience as a Whitby virgin
🔹 Rebecca George gives advice on building a capsule wardrobe
🔹 Brucey interviews transman River
🔹 There are pictures of the beautiful Danielle Thomas, Emma and Hannah McKnight.
🔹 Shona is Supergirl

🔹 Readers’ photos and accounts of pride events

And so much more!

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

by Hannah

Do you think high heels is a strong reason to males to dress as females?

I think there are a lot of reasons some of us present en femme. For some, myself included, it’s an expression of my gender identity. For others, it’s a fetish. And of course, there are countless reasons in-between those two.

I do believe in “gateway” clothes. Clothes, be it lingerie or stilettos, that open up our minds and worlds to something else, something new. An item that unlocked something in us that made us look at it differently, that made us reflect on who we really are.

I knew there was something about me that was different than others as I grew up. I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t trying on femme clothes whenever I had the opportunity. This desire grew over time and hitting new levels in my teen years. In high school my friends would comment how hot a girl in our class looked in her prom dress. I would also think she was pretty… but I was also focused on how badly I wanted to wear the same dress.

For me it was lingerie. Lingerie was NEVER “just underwear”. It was never just what girls wore under their clothes. It was sensual, beautiful, and captivating. It was elaborate, delicate, and intimate. I would see mannequins in department stores modeling nightgowns or women modeling Basques in a Victoria’s Secret catalog and I was forever changed. Yes, the women were beautiful but oh, how badly I wanted to wear what she was wearing.

So yes, I absolutely think that high heels (and anything else) can have the same impact on someone.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

A Little Peek

by Hannah

Although they are a lot of work, I always start daydreaming about another photo shoot as soon as I get home from one. I had a session this past weekend and one of the outfits I wore is for an upcoming… thing that I am not sure if I can talk about yet but girl, as soon as I can I will, lol.

Here is a peek at most of the outfits I wore. I had so much fun and I felt so pretty. I hope you like these photos and I can’t wait to see the final pictures!

Love, Hannah

We Had A Latte Fun!

by Hannah

This past Saturday was the monthly MN T-Girls outing and we spent the afternoon at Cafe Latte, an upscale coffee shop in Saint Paul!

Café Latte is very much a Saint Paul landmark and I used to visit there when I was in my late teens so it was very fun to go back… this time en femme. All in all there were about a dozen of us having coffees and girl talk. We chatted about everything from makeup to family to clothes (of course).

I didn’t get any pictures but everyone looked super cute, lol.

We also planned the events for the rest of the year… Halloween, the annual photo shoot, and the return of the holiday party. It was a fun afternoon and it’s even more fun to look forward to what’s next!

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

by Hannah

Do women like crossdressing?

Okay, a few things before we dive into this question.

I am going with the assumption you are referring to cis woman and the definition of crossdressing (for the purpose of this question) that I’ll be using is about as simple as it gets: one gender wearing clothes that is intended for a different gender.

And! I am mostly going to talk about gender identity as a binary here.

Let’s get started.

Do women like crossdressing? I don’t know, I haven’t asked all of them.

But let’s frame this question a LITTLE differently. Is that okay? Thanks.

Do women like their cis male partner crossdressing?

“Like” may not be the right word. I am not sure how many cis women are necessarily happy that their big tall strong manly man husband wears panties. I can only speak for my relationship but I wouldn’t say my wife LIKES that I crossdress…. but she understands and accepts that I like it and that it is a part of who I am. I think many people are glad that their significant other has SOMETHING, be it crossdressing or hot yoga or hiking or whatever that brings joy to their life. My wife doesn’t understand why I love wearing what I wear but she doesn’t have to. Put the stiletto on the other foot and I don’t understand why she loves listening to murder podcasts right before she falls asleep. I think she is happy that I have this side of me that makes me feel the way I do.

I think for a lot of people as long as their partner’s interests don’t go toooo crazy or dominate toooo much of their lives AND are honest about this side of them, it’s (usually) good.

At the end of the day, I don’t think for many of our partners they really care don’t what color our underwear is. BUT the concern can come from the other things that crossdressing can bring.

I don’t care he wears panties, but I’m scared he will want to transition

I don’t care he buys dresses, but he is spending a LOT of money on clothes

I don’t care he goes out en femme, but he is going to places that I’ve asked him not to

I don’t care he wears lingerie, but he is always lying about this side of him

I can’t speak for every wife out there, but these are the most common things that I hear from a lot of partners of crossdressers. For some, it’s not about the CLOTHES themselves, it’s about the other things that we as crossdressers have a tendency to do.

Crossdressing under the influence of the Pink Fog may cause us to do things that we normally wouldn’t do and may cause us to make poor decisions that are not well-thought out. It’s not unlike drinking too much.

So yes, it’s safe to say that crossdressing, because of everything that can come with it, may not necessarily delight our partners.

Do some women have a kink that their man dresses? Sure. I know for a lot of us we hope that our partners have a fetish of men crossdressing which can open the door to all sorts of fun but I am not sure how common this is. I could be wrong but I don’t think it’s very typical.

If your question is “do women like TO crossdress?” that is a completely different question. Again, we are going to use the definition of ‘crossdressing’ at it’s most simplified: one gender wearing clothes originally designed for another gender OR clothes that on a societal norm level are typically associated with a different gender.

For starters, let’s acknowledge that people wear the clothes for many different reasons. Practicality, style, comfort, an occasion, or for fetish reasons.

If a cis woman wears “men’s clothes” it might be for practical reasons (such as the joy of having pockets). I know some cis women who wear men’s t-shirts because the fabric is a little thicker. Some cis women tell me that some t-shirts designed for cis women don’t hang long enough or the neckline is too plungy.

Cis women might wear clothes because of the style or it’s trendy, even if it’s a little uncomfortable or expensive. They might be wearing it for the ‘gram. And that’s okay.

Wearing an outfit for an occasion, be it a Target run or the coronation of royalty is pretty self-explanatory.

Same with comfort. Choosing leggings or pajama pants or flip-flops might not be as glam as a floor-length ballgown but are arguably comfier.

Do some cis women wear something because it arouses them? Sure, of course. It is erotic to a cis woman to wear something that is designed for a cis male? For some I think it is… however I think there are many, many, MANY more men who are turned on when they wear lingerie than cis women who fetishize wearing neckties.

Clothes and emotion are linked. Some men feel powerful in a suit. Some little kids feel confident in a Batman costume. Some people feel beautiful in a princess dress. But crossdressers connect with clothes on an entirely different and elevated level. We wear what we wear for a lot of reasons. It could be comfort (leggings!) or sensuality (lingerie!) or because a dress or a skirt is a representation of our gender identity. I present en femme because doing this is a reflection, a manifestation, of my gender identity. Do cis men wear a suit for the same reason? Do cis women wear a skirt for the same reason? Maybe… but I don’t think at the same… intensity, if you know what I mean.

Historically pants (or trousers for my readers across the pond) are FOR MEN and yes, women wear pants but women have the option of wearing pants designed for women.

And yes men have the option to wear panties designed for men but on a societal level a woman wearing pants at the office is not equal to a dude wearing pink boyshorts in a gym locker room.

So yes, girls wear girl pants and some girl wear Boy Pants (again, the practicality of pockets can be appealing). A girl wearing “boy clothes”, a girl crossdressing (again, using the definition at the start of this post) is not a big deal… not as big deal as a boy wearing a skirt, anyway.

bUt iT’S nOt FAir tHAT giRLs caN CRossDreSs but boYs CAN’t.

Listen, we’ve been over this, but society did not one day collectively decide it was okay for women to wear pants. This did not happen suddenly or without consequences.

If we want the same societal acceptance to wear a skirt that women have when it comes to wearing pants, wonderful, then we had better start fighting for it.

I don’t view a cis women wearing pants as crossdressing. Pants have been “de-genderized”. Women did that. Women waged and won that battle. And honestly? Good for them. If my wife is wearing jeans she is wearing “girl jeans”. Jeans that are designed for the cis woman’s body. If men want a skirt to be de-genderized, it’s a battle that men will have to fight.

And to be clear boys can absolutely crossdress. As of this writing it is not illegal to wear a dress if you have a penis (but I suppose that day is coming) however you’ll probably turn a few heads and, let’s be honest, opening yourself up to less-than-welcome comments, to say the least.

So! Do women like to crossdress themselves? I don’t know, I don’t think a cis woman CAN crossdress the same way a man can crossdress. A girl can wear her boyfriend’s t-shirt and a pair of boxers to sleep in but I don’t think she is necessarily crossdressing (using the definition above) . But her boyfriend wearing her nightgown? Yes, that is crossdressing.

Is this fair? Eh, maybe not… but I think cis women have earned the right to wear what they want by fighting for it.

I have no idea if I answered your question but there it is.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me her

You’d Be A Lot Cuter If You…

by Hannah

…smiled more.

Since I live the majority of my life presenting as a boy most of my experiences with the world are a reflection of that presentation.

In male mode, I am aware of when I say something the person I am speaking to not only listens to what I am saying but they are also considering that a masculine presenting person is saying it to them. If I am describing something to a feminine presenting person I choose my words very carefully so she hopefully doesn’t feel I am manspaining it to them.

Another example. A female colleague can compliment another colleague on her cute dress and if I were to say the exact same words as she used, it may very well come off as, well, creepy.

When I am tempted to compliment a girl on her makeup or her outfit, I am doing it from the perspective of Hannah, even if I am in male mode. As a t-girl, I absolutely appreciate and admire amazing lipstick shades BUT in male mode the girl I am speaking to doesn’t know about my other gender identity. For all she knows I am just a creep staring too long at her winged eyeliner.

I don’t want anyone to be uncomfortable around me… in either of my gender presentations. In male mode I know I can come off as looking unfriendly and intimidating. I am over six feet tall and I look strong. If I haven’t slept well or haven’t shaven in a few days I come off as a little scary looking. When I am out walking my dog (also rather large) and I see a young woman out for a run I am well aware she has looked at both of us and likely registered us a potential threat to her.

And for understandable reasons. I don’t take this personally and the reality is that every woman I know is always aware of where they are and who is nearby. The last thing I would ever do is intentionally harm someone and I regret that I LOOK like a threat. I work for a college and almost every female student I work with asks about campus security and campus safety. Not a single guy asks about this.

Another thing I’ve learned is never, ever tell a woman to smile. That realization came hand-in-hand with learning that presenting as a cis male there are things I should never say to a woman.

And I know there are a lot of guys who defend their comments as compliments or insisting they would be flattered if a girl said they looked handsome. I mean, that’s great that’s how YOU would feel and you might think it’s a double standard but still, keep your thoughts to yourself.

When I am en femme I experience the world through a different set of heavily eyelinered eyes. I am hyper aware of my surroundings and who is in the room or in the store. I look for potential threats.

Interactions on social media are also different. I get a lot of guys hitting on me through comments and emails and messages. This is not humble bragging, mind you. I am not necessarily flattered by this. Most of these comments are… ah, very specific and almost all of them cross a line with me. There’s a difference between “you look really beautiful” and “I would love to be naked with you and caress your face as I gently kiss your lips”.

Ick.

The smile thing? I totally get it when girls get annoyed when a man tells them to smile. I post (a LOT of) photos and I am not always smiling in them. It’s not a surprise when someone messages me about a specific picture and telling me that it would be a better photo if I smiled. I mean for one, don’t tell me what to do, lol.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I looked over the pictures from my most recent photo shoot. I don’t smile in every photo because I am trying to look… seductive? Or trying to convey a certain emotion?

I love this photo and I think it would hit different if I was smiling.

Sometimes the outfit vibes differently with a certain facial expression.

Sometimes I choose a resting facial expression to leave one’s interpretation of what I am thinking or feeling up to someone else. It’s not uncommon in lingerie photos.

I like all three of these photos a lot. And I think they would be very different if I was smiley in them.

But the last photo shoot taught me that yes, some photos look really good with a more neutral expression but almost every one of those pictures are completely entwined with what I am wearing. Lingerie, leather… outfits that convey domination or seduction tend to work without a smile but a pretty floral bodycon dress or a gown? Mmmm… not so much.

Look at these two photos.

Hate the photo on the left. HAAAAAATE it. And if I wasn’t using this photo to prove a point it would never see the light of day. My shoulders looked hunched for one, but the neutral expression just doesn’t work with this dress. The dress is cute, it’s flirty… I love wearing it. My facial expression, my body language should reflect that… similar to how my facial expression and body language reflects leather or lingerie.

I post a LOT of photos and the reality is that I upload just a fraction of what is taken and what I have saved on my hard drive. There are some really great pictures in terms of lighting, composition, outfits… but the picture is spoiled by my face. Er, facial expression.

I am not saying that all the men who tell me that I would look cuter if I smiled are correct. It’s not that simple. What I am realizing is that like a color of a dress or the style of an outfit some things, including facial expressions, work for some girls and not so much for others. Very, very, VERY few pictures (in a relative sense) where I am not smiling WORK compared to photos where I am expressing how happy I really am when I am wearing a cute dress and feeling like a supermodel for a few hours.

Love, Hannah

Hellbent on Poly/Lycra

by Hannah

I THINK it’s Judas Priest that has a song called ‘Hellbent on Leather’ but I am too lazy and disinterested to Google it to find out.

I heart leather but I also love anything tight and shiny and leatherish. This can include latex and vegan leather and, like this sexy number from En Femme, a blend of polyester and lycra.

It sounds so… unsexy to describe a dress like this with the word ‘polyester’ but it is what it is, lol.

This is the final outfit I am posting from my most recent photo shoot… just in time for the NEXT one this Saturday.

I hope you like this dress and these photos!

Love, Hannah

Flower Power

by Hannah

Let’s continue the love for The Breast Form Store, shall we?

I think almost every dress, every stiletto, everything in my closet (or in my storage… still unpacking all of my clothes after the move…) has a story. Some are more interesting than others.

Shopping can be cathartic. It’s not unusual for me to buy an outfit BECAUSE of SOMETHING.

“I’m having a good day! Let’s buy a dress to celebrate!”

“I’m having a bad day! Let’s buy a dress to turn things around!”

“It’s Tuesday! Let’s buy a dress!”

And so on. It usually doesn’t take much.

A few months ago I finished a very annoying day at work and had to run some very annoying errands I had been putting off. I was feeling kinda bitchy about EVERYTHING. I get a lot of emails from my favorite websites announcing sales or new products and The Breast Form Store added some new dresses to their site.

The accompanying photo in their email showed a Very Cute Dress with a pair of pink heels. It was like… this email was made for me. An outfit can often inspire a moment that I want to have. After an annoying day at work this outfit made me want to get dolled up and spend the day en femme and take a break from angry bosses and pointless daily reports.

I ordered the dress from the parking lot of one of the places I was running an errand to and a few days later this cute dress was delivered.

I had an upcoming photo shoot (big shock, right?) but between my makeover and when I had to be at the studio I did a little shopping (another big shock!) and guess what?? This dress + shopping was exactly what I needed. And yes, I paired it with pink heels.

I wish I could wear this dress forever.

Love, Hannah