Like most things I write, this was meant to be about something else but it veered off into another direction and I just ran with it. I am easily distracted in many aspects of my life and writing isn’t much different. This article is about experiencing the world en femme but also acknowledging that I will likely never experience everything that most cisgender women experience. After all, a woman’s experience isn’t always heels and pencil skirts, oftentimes the experiences highlight gender inequality.
I have a fairly rectangular shape and since many dresses are designed for someone with a different body shape than myself, some outfits just… well, hang on me. Items like corsets, pads, and forms can make a huge difference. What I mean is that when I am en femme I am always trying to look my best but I don’t necessarily think that one needs to have a certain shape to be femme. Rather, I think a little help with adjusting your body’s shape can help some dresses look better on you.
Corsets require discipline and training, thigh pads require a financial investment. Presentation can take time, patience, and money but more than anything, presentation takes confidence and how you gain that confidence is different from person to person.
I was asked if I wanted to write a piece for their website and I happily contributed an article. This was a fun little strut down memory lane. When I write something to a website I usually focus on the early days of my journey and this was no exception. Writings for my site tend to be where I am now (emotionally or otherwise) so revisiting my beginnings can be fun to recall.
I have a chest circumference of 34″. I want to buy adhesive type silicon breast. How can I select the size ?
There’s a lot to consider when it comes to breast forms beyond your chest size. It’s important to do your research AND talk with the experts before you make such an investment.
And yes, I think forms are absolutely an investment and I think cost and quality go together. You can probably get a paid on Amazon for under $100, but forms are more than just shapes. There’s just something amazing when your forms FEEL real, when they move WITH you, when they squish into a tight dress or bra.
Before I chose my forms, I consulted with a representative and they asked about my height, my age, my measurements, and my weight. They recommended a size that I wouldn’t have picked but now I see why. I feel my forms look amazing AND I feel they are proportionate to the rest of me.
I hope this helps!
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
Thank you for your great review of the Jolie Thigh Pads. I’m definitely considering them. Have you also worn the Nikki Butt Pads in combination with Jolie as recommended by The Breast Form Store? Or did you wear them alone? Thoughts? Necessary or overkill? Any difficulty during lady’s room trips, etc.? Overall worth getting?
As much as I hate to think about practicality when it comes to presenting femme, I begrudgingly admit that although a pair of five inch stilettos look AMAZING, I also have to consider whether or not I can go an entire day wearing them.
It’s a similar consideration to wearing thigh pads AND butt/hip pads.
Yes, combining the two look amazing. However, pads change your body shape (which is the goal, lol) so sometimes a dress fits perfectly BUT when I have my thigh pads and/or hip pads, then it’s a different story.
This is especially true when it comes to hosiery. I used to wear tights/pantyhose but when I started to wear thigh pads, pantyhose didn’t always work. I’m tall, so I need a lot of stretch with my tights but the extra give that thigh pads need didn’t always work with tights or pantyhose.
Hosiery is incredibly helpful when it comes to keeping pads in place AND allowing the pads to look more natural. The shade of my pads are surprisingly close to my skin tone but it’s not a perfect match. You can tell that the pads are, well, pads. Hosiery covers them which allows the shape of them to shine through.
Because of this, I switched to thigh-highs and I feel I made the right decision.
Plus! Stockings are easier when it comes to using the ladies room, with or without pads.
I am fairly well organized (but please don’t look in my closet as it is a MESS). I kind of have to be. I have a zillion folders on my laptop and I usually know where a certain photo or email or whatever is. This is true whether it is work-related, a legal document, or Hannah’s life.
In my work life as well as in Hannah’s world, I have folders labeled “various” which are more or less a graveyard for things that don’t really fall into any category but I know I need to keep for whatever reason. I rarely reopen these folders but when I do I find pictures or other things I had completely forgotten about.
Case in point, two weekends ago.
Unless this is your first time visiting my website, you probably know I heart lingerie. My infatuation ranges from simple pink cotton panties with a matching camisole to elaborate corsets. I suspect many of you share this adoration.
One of the more lively discussions our community has is “boy panties” vs “girl panties”. What I mean is a cute panty but designed for a specific anatomy. For example, “girl panties” are found at Victoria’s Secret, “boy panties” are found at Xdress or other designers.
For the purpose of this little discussion, I am gently setting tucking panties/gaffs aside.
Girl panties are not designed with room for a penis or testicles, but boy panties are. Boy panties tend to have a wider gusset or larger leg holes.
I have a lot of panties. Like, a LOT. Some fit better than others, regardless of the genitalia they were designed for. Some panties looooked so cute at the shop or online but goodness they simply don’t fit.
I like certain panties for different reasons but they simply need to fit. I hate falling out of a panty or wearing one that is soooo, ah, roomy, that I may as well be wearing boxers.
Some of us hate boy panties because, well, they kind of miss the point. And I get that. However, I appreciate a cute pair of panties that are designed with a little more fabric to keep everything where it belongs.
One thing I do hate about boy panties is the extra room in the pouch. I appreciate the wider gusset but I like my panties to smooooooth out the front. A bulge is going to be there, which is fine, but I don’t want so much room that everything just… hangs there. There’s a difference between a subtle bulge and, well, LOOK AT MY PENIS.
Cute, satin-y, and lace! And they smoooooth out everything. Love these panties.
When I feel the itch to add to my panty drawer(s), I sometimes feel the choice comes down to price. For around $30 I can get five panties from Victoria’s Secret or, well, one “boy panty”. I love having a lot of panties and I have gotten quite good at determining which “girl panties” will fit but sometimes I’m wrong.
I totally understand why Xdress and other designers have the prices they do. It’s hard to be competitive at a price point when you are a small business catering to a niche demographic compared to a giant corporation with a brand that is known around the world. I happily wear panties from Glamour Boutique, Moot, The Breast Form Store, Xdress, HommeMystere, and En Femme.
Anyway, back to that ‘various folder’.
As someone who wears panties all the time and as someone who thinks about panties all the time, it’s not surprising that I’ve fantasized about the perfect panty. Essentially this would be a girl panty with a slightly wider gusset. That’s it. No extra room in the front, just a little more fabric between the legs to keep everything in place.
As I mentioned earlier I love a cute matching panty/cami set. If I was going to design a panty I would obviously need a cami to go with it. I like camis because I can sleep in them and I can wear them under boy clothes without the risk that a bra has.
I make no attempt to hide that I am transgender. I celebrate it, I acknowledge it. As I daydreamed about designing lingerie I was inspired by some of my panties that have words on them. “GIRL POWER” or “LOVE” stamped on the back. I thought it would be fun to have expressions that mean something to girls like us on them. “PINK FOG” or “GIRL MODE”, for example. This terms don’t mean anything to most people but we all know what these phrases mean.
Over the years I got to know the lovely people at HommeMystere and was sad to learn that they have called it a day. A few years ago we talked briefly (lol, briefly) about working together and I proposed an idea about a small lingerie line that featured everyday cotton or satin panties with phrases that mean something to us. Something fun and playful and cute.
The idea never really went anywhere but I used some of the images on their website and edited them a bit to illustrate what I was thinking. These are the files that I rediscovered in one of the ‘various’ folders that are sprinkled across my laptop.
I still love this idea and I would still love to see it become a reality. So, if anyone out there is looking to partner with me, drop me a line, lol. 😉
I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but the Breast Form Store is sending out emails for the Hera breast forms with you in a red dress on a sofa.
At least I’m pretty sure it is you…
Yes! It is totally me.
I was lucky to review these forms and I am absolutely over the moon about them. I gave the Breast Form Store permission to publish certain photos and I was giddy to see them use one in their marketing.
I absolutely appreciate when I am notified when my pictures pop up across the internet so thank you for letting me know. Usually when this happens I am credited/identified but sometimes it’s for content I would prefer I wasn’t associated with… if you know what I mean,
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
I think almost every dress, every stiletto, everything in my closet (or in my storage… still unpacking all of my clothes after the move…) has a story. Some are more interesting than others.
Shopping can be cathartic. It’s not unusual for me to buy an outfit BECAUSE of SOMETHING.
“I’m having a good day! Let’s buy a dress to celebrate!”
“I’m having a bad day! Let’s buy a dress to turn things around!”
“It’s Tuesday! Let’s buy a dress!”
And so on. It usually doesn’t take much.
A few months ago I finished a very annoying day at work and had to run some very annoying errands I had been putting off. I was feeling kinda bitchy about EVERYTHING. I get a lot of emails from my favorite websites announcing sales or new products and The Breast Form Store added some new dresses to their site.
The accompanying photo in their email showed a Very Cute Dress with a pair of pink heels. It was like… this email was made for me. An outfit can often inspire a moment that I want to have. After an annoying day at work this outfit made me want to get dolled up and spend the day en femme and take a break from angry bosses and pointless daily reports.
I ordered the dress from the parking lot of one of the places I was running an errand to and a few days later this cute dress was delivered.
I had an upcoming photo shoot (big shock, right?) but between my makeover and when I had to be at the studio I did a little shopping (another big shock!) and guess what?? This dress + shopping was exactly what I needed. And yes, I paired it with pink heels.
When I was in my late teenage years and in my early twenties I was, in a way, just starting out. I had been trying on femme clothes for my entire existence but at this point in my life I was beginning to shop for my own clothes… clothes I didn’t have to sneak from my sisters.
This took a new set of skills. Not only did I need to learn about sizes and what would fit me (of course, there is no consistency when it comes to this) but I also had to, hm, be stealthy about this.
I had to learn about to browse through the lingerie department of a store so I wouldn’t stand out or draw too much attention to myself. I couldn’t look like I was shopping for my own wardrobe. I had to be quick but careful.
Selecting new panties also had the inevitable experience of interacting with the cashier, the arch enemy of a closeted crossdresser. Fortunately these days there’s the option of online shopping and self-checkout.
BUT! There’s also the reality that no one really cares. I worked retail in my teens and unless the customer was behaving very oddly I immediately put them out of my mind once I handed them their receipt. Yes, many, MANY men bought femme clothes and I knew WHY they were likely buying a bra. After all, I am One Of Them.
But even if I wasn’t? Let’s face it, people, of any gender, tend to buy lingerie for themselves.
Customers asked the same questions I did when I would shop for femme clothes. “If this doesn’t fit HER (implying they were buying stockings for a lady), can SHE return it?” Oh, I must have thought I was so clever when I asked the clerk these and similar questions. I felt that this line of dialogue would dispel any suspicion that I was buying this cute matching bra and panty for myself.
There are businesses in many cities that are frequented by masculine presenting people who are buying femme clothes. It’s not uncommon for these shops to be more on the fetishy side that sell size 15 stilettos, for example. I would shop at stores like these and the clerks knew I was looking at heels for myself so both the staff and I could drop any charade. Thank God.
Years ago, I was feeling particularly brave one evening. I was also feeling… hm, defiant? Apathetic? I was in the final days of a relationship that was ending and I was feeling a combination of excitement of a new start and anger and sadness over the break up. I hold no ill will towards her. We were both young and both navigating relationships and the new world that one in their early twenties is learning to live in.
She was the first person I ever came out to and well, it didn’t go well. Again, I have no ill will towards her because of this. We were both young and this was decades ago. Living outside the gender binary was not as common as it is now. PLUS! you can be as accepting and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community as you possibly can be… but it’s still a little weird and takes some getting used to when it’s your own significant other telling you that he likes to wear lingerie and high heels.
Since the relationship was on life-support and the plug was getting pulled any minute I saw no reason why I shouldn’t go shopping for lingerie and stilettos. Out of respect for my soon-to-be ex I didn’t dress (well, not that often) while we dated but there was nothing stopping me anymore.
I can’t remember the name of the business I visited and they are no longer operating but this particularly shop sold everything from PVC dresses to skyscraper heels to fetish wear to, well, normal clothes. I tried on a few dresses and heels and the salesgirl and I were chatting openly about, well, THIS side of me.
She opened the glass display case under the register and brought out a pair of breast forms. I immediately felt I was at a precipice of a new world. I was faced with crossing a threshold of my gender identity. Was THIS side of me only about clothes or was there something MORE? Did I simply like to wear lingerie OR was there possibly another gender identity sleeping in my heart? Breast forms symbolized the transition of wearing femme clothes to, well, presenting en femme.
I’m sure it was no more than a few moments but it felt like a lifetime passed as I considered purchasing them. I declined but happily bought a pair of black patent stilettos that would ultimately be purged as the cycle of buying femme clothes and tossing them a few days or weeks later would continue as it would for the next decade.
In retrospect I realize I was contemplating this side of me on a level I had never really considered too deeply before. Was THIS about wearing girl clothes or was THIS about presenting as a girl or was THIS about wanting to BE a girl?
Years would pass until I accepted and embraced what THIS was all about. It’s not just one easy answer. I love “girl” clothes. I’ll wear panties and leggings and nightgowns until I breathe my last breath. I love looking cute and having my makeup done. I love interacting with the world as a girl.
…but transitioning? No. That’s not the right direction for me.
For me, presenting en femme is a combination of a wig, makeup, jewelry, heels, clothes, and SHAPE. I am not trying to pass and I don’t believe in it and even if I did I have no illusion about my ability to blend in. I don’t try to “pass” or blend but I do want to look as femme as I can. There is a difference.
When I started to get serious about “real” clothes I started to invest a lot of time (and money) into my look. The right outfit, the right style, the right color, the right fit, the right everything. Most of us know that a dress looks and fits differently in boy mode vs girl mode. I have some dresses that zip up fine in boy mode but when I have my thigh pads and breast forms? That zipper is not going to zip. I also have dresses that look very unflattering in boy mode but look A-MAZ-ING when I have my corset on.
Through the trial and error of wearing femme clothes you start to learn the nuances of sizing and how inconsistent they are. If you order a dress online or buy heels without trying them on you quickly learn that sizes are more or less arbitrary. Sure, I may be a 12 dress size and most of my stilettos are also a 12… but that number means little when I am out shopping. It’s all about what FITS and what you feel when you wear an outfit.
Since we roll the dice on clothes when it comes to sizing and discovering our style we realize that THIS side of us requires time, money, and patience. It demands a financial investment. That’s NOT to say you NEED a pair of $400 thigh pads or a $200 corset, but whether it’s a pair of cheap panties or the lowest priced lipstick at the store, if you want SOMETHING, be it femme clothes or anything else, you’re PROBABLY going to have to spend money on it.
I don’t mean to trivialize gender identity or gender presentation but if I overly simplify who I am then I must accept that THIS can be, and for me it IS, a very expensive “hobby”.
I had no issue or qualms about dropping money on new shoes or outfits when I expanded my wardrobe from lingerie to proper clothes. Indeed, I was probably a little too… eager to do this and was very much lost in the Pink Fog. But I was always hesitant to invest in forms. It was more appealing to spend $400 on dresses and heels than to spend the same amount on pads.
Eventually I did order a pair of breast forms. But they weren’t REAL forms, mind you. Just a simple pair of silicone padded forms. But they did the trick. Not only on a practical and visual level, but they also impacted me on an… emotional(?) level. That’s not to say I was brought to tears or anything but I loved how they looked and how they made me feel. LOOKING pretty and FEELING pretty don’t always go hand-in-hand.
A few years ago I was sent a pair of forms by the amazing goddesses at The Breast Form Store. To say they changed my life would be an understatement. I felt… and looked amazing. I felt femme, I LOOKED femme. I couldn’t imagine dressing without them.
Whether it’s an iPhone or breast forms, things tend to be redesigned and improved. If you had asked what could be done to improve the forms I was sent I would be at a loss for words (yes, this CAN happen, lol). If anything, I felt that the nipple on these forms was a little too… ah, pronounced. It seemed like I was always nipping out no matter if I was wearing a tight dress or a padded bra.
Buuut I was delighted to find out how wrong I was. I was provided a pair of The Breast Form’s newest forms last year to review and I am delighted to share my thoughts after months of wearing them.
Their website describes the Hera as the ULTIMATE, most PERFECT crossdresser breast forms ever! I mean, that’s a pretty bold and definitive statement. But my God, they’re right, “It’s not bragging if it’s true”, as the saying goes.
If you’ve never worn forms before, terms like “silicone” mean very little. When it comes to forms, in my opinion, it comes down to how they LOOK and how they FEEL. The Breast Form Store’s website has a nice description of the, ah, technical aspects of these amazing forms so let’s chat about my experiences.
I don’t have natural breasts so I can’t comment on whether or not they feel NATURAL. However, I can absolutely attest to how they move with me. How they bounce when I strut. How I can wear them and feel their weight.
The Hera is described as “squishy” which sounds unappealing but it’s a perfect word. I’ve worn my Heras with sports bras and with lingerie and practical bras and there’s been no issue. My forms responded to my tight sports bra and they present themselves in all their cleavage glory when I wear a push-up bra.
There are many options when it comes to the Hera in terms of customization. I provided The Breast Form Store with my measurements and I feel and look proportionate with these forms. Simply put I am amazed at how natural and real I look and feel.
For over a year I’ve worn them each time I’ve gone out, whether it’s a day of shopping or for a photo shoot. Whether sitting, standing, walking, or laying down my forms move with me and rest in a natural way.
Are these forms cheap? No. Are they an investment? Absolutely. Do you NEED forms to be femme? Of course not. Will they help you “pass”? Well, I don’t believe in “passing” as this side of us is for US and what we want to wear and how we feel and think about ourselves.
If you are considering forms, whether it’s time for an upgrade or you’re ready for your first pair, I hope you consider the Hera.
My most recent photo shoot had a couple of dresses that I had to look DEEP into my closet to find. I have been meaning to wear this particular one for years and years but for some reason or another just never followed through with it. I would plan a day out en femme and sometimes I would end up getting a NEW dress and wanted to wear that one instead or the weather wasn’t going to cooperate and I would need to wear something else.
But I suppose those were just excuses. The reason I didn’t wear it was because I didn’t feel cute in it. I found the dress on Amazon and thought it looked pretty and it fit like a dream but I just felt a little… frumpy? Like it didn’t fall right? Because of this I just didn’t feel a lot of affection towards it.
So, what changed? My body didn’t, the dress didn’t, all I needed was to add my forms and a corset.
A dress can FIT, but it doesn’t mean it fits in the right places. Sometimes a pretty dress doesn’t compliment you.
Femme clothes are, for the most part, designed for the cis gender female body. This means a bust and hips. My body is pretty rectangular and sometimes the most gorgeous gown fits like a pillowcase.
I packed this dress into my suitcase for the shoot and honestly? I just hoped for the best. The shoot started and as the afternoon progressed the outfits I brought were worn, photographed, and then (carelessly) tossed back into my suitcase.
There was time left for one more outfit, and this dress was the last one left. I shrugged and changed.
This was the first time I had worn the dress with my breast forms and corset. My body was completely different compared to the other times I tried on the dress.
It fell where it should. The dress fit the body it was designed for. I had the body (courtesy of my corset and forms) that it was designed for.
I am not saying that you need a certain figure or $400 breast forms to look cute in a dress. This is a reminder that clothes sometimes need a little help.
Hannah McKnight 