I found this dress over a year ago and I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it. I bought it without even trying it on, as I was confident it would fit as it was my size. When I got home I was crushed because I couldn’t even zip it up.
I know what you’re thinking….that I need to drop a few pounds before I could wear it, but to be honest, I didn’t think that was it. The zipper had this annoying little catch that didn’t allow the zipper to go up all the way, even if I wasn’t wearing it.
Determined to wear this dress, I actually had the zipper replaced…but it was still giving me trouble. I looked into all sorts of tricks to help a zipper glide more smoothly but nothing worked.
I really wanted to wear this for my recent photo shoot, so I took the dress out of the closet, and zipped the zipper up and down about a million times and it seemed to have gotten the kinks or whatever out of it. The first time I was able to get the zipper up while wearing it was a wonderful experience.
I love how these photo turned out and I can’t wait to wear this again!
Hey I’m a boy 19 years old. I want spent some time as a Sexy girl but due to my surrounding people and my image I can’t able to complete my desire. Please suggest something that helps me to full fill my desire to become a girl without knowing anyone.
As someone who has been dressing, to various degrees, for decades, I understand needing to be discreet. For myself, freedom to dress came with age. You stated you are 19 so it’s not unreasonable to assume you still live at home. When I had my first apartment I was able to buy heels for the first time and to start building a wardrobe without having to purge it every few days out of fear someone would find the new skirt I bought.
I also understand the need to keep both gender identities secret. I don’t want to be seen at the mall looking at dresses in male mode, so thank goodness I can shop online. I wish I had that option when I was your age.
If you want to keep your dressing a secret, you really have only two choices.
-You can get your own apartment. I understand that is easier said than done, but that’s the reality. I suppose you could just hide your clothes somewhere in your room where they are unlikely to be found and only dress when no one else is home, but there is still a chance someone will find out.
-Get a hotel room and dress in private. This is expensive and not exactly feasible, but it is a choice.
I wish I had more helpful advice. I will say that it gets better, and easier, once you have a place to call your own.
I had the recent honor of being interviewed by Sister House for their ‘Dressing Room‘ feature. If you’d like to learn more about my fashion influences and my take on style, please take a look!
Hi Hannah. Really have enjoyed reading your advice. I love to dress, but have to keep it an absolute secret. How do you approach that? Try to just ignore feelings, or do things like wearing panties under clothes? Any thoughts would be appreciated.
If there is one thing that over thirty years of crossdressing has taught me, its that this…desire, need, urge, call it what you will, will never go away. This is who you are. You cannot outgrow this, you cannot quit this, you cannot deny this is who you are and what you want to wear.
I don’t think ignoring this part of us is useful. Nor do I think it is effective. I believe if this is who you are, then you should let yourself be yourself. I understand that this needs to be kept a secret. I keep this a secret from almost everyone in my life but I still feel I can be myself. I know some t-girls who dress up just a few times a year. Sometimes they take a vacation and spend time as their other selves in a different city. I know some girls who just check into a hotel for the weekend and dress up and never leave their room. You just have to find a way to make it work. It depends on how far you want to go. For some, wearing a skirt while watching television is all they want. There are those who just want to underdress. For some, they want everything from the tips of their false eyelashes to the point of their stiletto.
Of course, you’ll want to consider who you are keeping this a secret from. If you are married or in a committed relationship, I don’t think you should be deceptive. I hope you can find a way to tell your significant other about this part of you. It will, of course, likely come as a shock, but you will inevitably get caught, regardless of how careful you are, or think you are. I hear stories on a fairly regular basis from crossdressers who were caught by their significant other and not only did they have the discussion about crossdressing itself, there was the additional issue of their partner being lied to. If you told her you were on a business trip when you really spent the week visiting a different city and trying on heels, she will likely feel betrayed and deceived…because, quite honestly, you lied to her. It will takes years for a relationship to recover from feeling deceived, if it recovers at all. I think many partners are hurt more about being deceived than about the dressing itself. I may have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but one thing I did right was telling my wife about myself after only a few months of dating. I had to. This is who I was and she deserved the truth.
I hope this helps! Be safe and be honest.
Hello I am a 24 year old who crossdresses. I am passable and I have a female friend (We grew up next door to each other and are only children) so she is like a sister to me. She has asked to be maid of honor in her wedding next summer. However she wants me to begin immediately living full time as a female so I am prepared for all the wedding stuff. She has offered a place to live and a job what do I do. Thanks.
I receive a lot of emails and from time to time I get a message along the lines of “…my wife’s best friend moved away and she misses having someone to go shopping with. Now my wife wants me to live as a woman so she has a girlfriend again. What should I do?” My suspicion is that many of those messages are fake. I think there are some crossdressers who are…intrigued, let’s call it, at the idea of someone else taking charge of their gender identity. Perhaps there are those who want to dress/transition but taking comfort in the idea that it was the idea of someone else. I am not sure, I cannot answer that question. When I was in my teens I read anything I could about crossdressing and for a few of us, this is a fetish, fantasy or a sexual turn on. There is a lot of fiction written about someone being crossdressed by someone else. “I don’t want to be a girl but my aunt is making me dress up” or “I lost a bet and now I have to be a cheerleader” are popular themes.
I never was a fan of not being able to make your own decisions about who you are or what you wear. For some, the above question is the ultimate fantasy. Someone supportive in our lives, the chance of being a maid of honor and the offer of living full time as a woman. I’m not one to say what fantasies one is allowed to have. That’s the point, they are YOUR fantasies. I am also not questioning the legitimacy of this email, either.
My point is that your gender identity is YOUR gender identity. It is your decision and not one that can be maid by anyone else. It is entirely up to you if you want to transition, dress up for a day, a month, a year or forever. Please don’t let anyone make this decision for you. Living full-time is a drastic life change and not a choice one should make at someone’s else request, nor should it be made lightly.
I would encourage you to seek out a gender counselor or therapist, join a support group, talk with your doctor and loved ones to determine if this is truly the direction you wish to go.
Best of luck!
If I sent you my pic would you give me your honest opinion if I would be passable to walk out?
I would never tell someone if they did or did not pass. I don’t believe in passing.
I believe in confidence. I believe in loving how you look. “Passing” and loving how you look and feel are two completely different things. When I walk through a mall wearing my favorite dress and heels I feel *amazing*. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. What do I care if someone thinks that I am not beautiful? What do I care if someone knows that I am transgender? It doesn’t affect me in the slightest.
Who decides if you pass or not? Who has the right to decide if you look feminine enough? What does that even mean? Women, whether trans or cis, all look different. Some cis-women are tall, have broad shoulders, hands of all sizes and have different facial features. Holding ourselves to a certain standard means that we have expectations as to what a cis-woman “should” look like. Here’s the reality: Some cis-women have large hands. Some are taller than men. Some have deep voices. Some have facial hair. Does this mean they don’t “pass”? Of course not. All cis-women are women (if they choose to identify that way, of course), all transwomen are women, no matter how anyone looks.
You are beautiful.
I think we all remember our first photograph. Although we likely stared in the mirror for a long time after we dressed or wore makeup in the early days, seeing a photograph is an entirely different experience. Sometimes the photos make your jaw drop as they capture a side of us we always wanted to see…but sometimes the photos are humbling and can trigger a downward spiral as we realize we don’t look quite as how we imagined, or hoped.
But what we do takes time. It takes patience. It takes practice. We often need a mentor. Creating ourselves and being comfortable with who we are can take a lot of effort. The picture of me in the white dress was taken about six years ago. I remember how happy it made me when it was taken, but as time passed, I realized how far I had come whenever I looked at the early photos.
If you’ve spent even just ten seconds on this blog, you’ll see that I obviously love having my photograph taken. I was fortunate enough to partner with an amazing photographer, Shannonlee, a few years ago and she is so much fun to work with. In addition to working with such a fun and talented artist, the photos are a reminder of how far I’ve come…as a result of hard work, patience, exercise and building confidence and how it can pay off. To me, the photos are less about how I look, but more of a reminder of how I feel about myself. I feel happy, confident and assured. I have come a long way from needing validation in the early days. The girl in white dress looks insecure, guarded and although she’s smiling, she’s unsure of herself. She has the heels, but missing confidence.
Confidence is everything. Whether you are a t-girl or not, it’s confidence that gets us through the day, helps keeps our head held high as we strut through the mall or make eye contact with those who stare at us. Confidence helps us ask the makeup artist to recommend a foundation for our skin tone, confidence helps us ask the sales clerk if they have that cute red pump in a size 12 in the backroom.
I recently had a photoshoot with Shannonlee and I am thrilled to post the first of the pictures. These photos are of me in a dress I purchased earlier this summer from Long Tall Sally. It’s a little short and the slit makes it even more risque, but I don’t spend two hours a week on the Stairmaster to cover up my legs. 😉
I hope you like these photos! I’ll post more throughout the week.