Ask me (almost) Anything

With everything going, it’s easy to feel isolated and lonely, especially when it comes to this side of us.  I know I miss my MN T-Girls.  This side of us needs to be taken care of, she needs to be attended to and she needs to be acknowledged.  Between working from home and almost everything being closed, it’s hard to be who we are.

I try to be accessible and I do my best to reply to every email and message I get.  I do love hearing from you all (unless it’s a photo of…uh, your anatomy).  I know how important it is for all of us to be able to talk to someone who understands this side of us.  I know I need that, too.

Since we are feeling out of sorts, and for some of us our ability to meet up and connect with our friends and our support may be cut off, I thought it might be fun to do some sort of Google Chat or an AMA (Ask me Anything) on Reddit later this week.

Would you be interested in that?

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

Should one dress their age?

Not necessarily.  I wear what I want to wear, however, I do take fashion cues from women that are around my age.  There are a lot of really cute styles that girls that are twenty years younger than I am wear, but as cute as they are, they are clearly meant for someone that is not my age.

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The outfit above is the cutest, girliest outfit I own.  I heart it.  Every time I see photos of it or it hanging in my closet I want to wear it.  The outfit below looks like someone a girl in early twenties would wear.  It’s cute, and I think I pull it off.

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Once a t-girl (or crossdresser or someone who is bi-gender, gender-fluid, or… a human) has accepted and embraced who they are, a whole world of clothes and fashion and style has opened up to them.  They will wear whatever they want, thank you very much, regardless of which gender it is “supposed to be for”.

The two outfits above, granted, are not typical of what a girl my age would wear.  But I don’t think dressing your age is necessary.  That concept seems vague and arbitrary.  Instead I dress for the occasion.  I use what I am doing or where I am going as my guideline.

The two outfits above are perfect for an anime convention or shopping, or example.  Not necessarily a good fit for the office or a wedding.  Of the two outfits below, one is perfect for brunch, the other is, well, appropriate for, well, I’ll let you decide.

Clothes make a statement.  Both of these dresses do exactly that.  One dress is saying she would love a mimosa, the other says… again, you make that call.

Think about what you are doing, and where you are going.  Think about what others will likely be wearing.  Using this as your guide will help immensely.  When in doubt, I prefer to take a chance on dressing up rather than dressing down.  I tend to be the most overdressed girl at the mall, and that’s fine with me.

I hope this helps!

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

 

 

Ask Hannah!

I am married and basically quite straight in preferences, however, certain trans gender women I find just irresistible, so I flirt a lot on line….am I a cheating hubby?
I never meet anyone in person.

Every relationship is different and unique.  Every relationship has aspects of it that are hidden to the rest of the world.  Mine included.  If our friends and family knew about the conversations my wife and I have about eyeliner and fashion they would be very surprised.

Some relationships are not as monogamous as others.  Some marriages are open, some partners don’t mind if their spouses chat (or more) with others online.  I can’t say if you are cheating, but perhaps ask yourself how would your spouse react if they knew about your online chats.

It is not uncommon for girls like us to get lost in the pink fog and make decisions that are not typical of our normal routine.  Sometimes these decisions are relatively harmless, such as spending money that we shouldn’t on stilettos, but sometimes these choices are damaging and hurtful to our partner.

The fact that you are asking makes me wonder if you feel guilty about what you are doing, and if you are feeling guilty then you are probably doing something you know you shouldn’t.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Hannah Asks…

Last month the MN T-Girls attended a play which told the story of Susan Kimberly, a transgender woman who served as deputy mayor of Saint Paul years ago.  Outside of the theater were these giant reproductions of newspaper articles from around the time the play was set.  The articles had quotes from people that Ms. Kimberly worked with before, during, and after her transition.

One of the quotes really stood out to me, for some reason.  Someone who Ms. Kimberly knew before she came out said something along the lines of how you think really know someone but it turns out that you don’t.

Of course, I am not sure of the context or what the person was feeling, but it felt as if the person who said was… kind of sad.  He could have been making a lighthearted observation or perhaps he was bitter, but it struck me as if he was hurt because he didn’t know something about his friend that was obviously very important to them.

Considering how active my life is en femme, I have come out to what I consider a remarkably few people in my life.  I have come out to roommates, girlfriends, friends, and a small number of family members.  With the exception of my brother, everyone I have come out to is a girl.

I don’t like gender stereotypes and I avoid generalizing people based on the gender they identify with or the gender that they present as, but I find women are easier to talk to.  When I came out to my girlfriend who later became my wife, she summed up who I am perfectly.  “You just like to feel beautiful”.  She could relate to wanting to be pretty.  Although this whole… thing is complicated and hard to explain and hard to understand, she could relate to how I wanted to look and how I wanted to feel.  She understood my frustration when my makeup wasn’t cooperating as well as the power and confidence that comes from a cute outfit.

From time to time I consider coming out to my two best male friends, but each time I decide against it.  I am never sure (but no one is ever sure how anyone will) react to this revelation.  It’s easy to talk to my sister about a new eyeliner, but I doubt my guy friends could understand why a little black dress and stilettos are THE best things in life.

Again, I don’t mean to generalize but… well, I guess I am doing it.

After seeing that quote, I started to think that although my gender identity and wardrobe is not something that they could relate to, who I am, who I REALLY am, might be something that they would want to know.  Not because they would understand or accept, but because they are my friends, and I am theirs.

Although they wear work boots and cleats and I wear pink high heels, if I put myself in their shoes, would I want to know something that is this personal, and important to them?  And I would.  I love my friends and it would hurt if there was something about them that was this significant that they felt they couldn’t share with me.

Coming out is never easy, and everyone reacts differently to this truth.  Often the reaction is influenced by the relationship.  Coming out to your sister is different than coming out to your roommate, for example.

What I am curious about is if you have come out to a guy, whether a brother or a close friend, how did it go?  Do you think coming out was different because they were a dude?

Please comment below, thank you!

Love, Hannah

 

 

LGBTQ+ Resources in New York

If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!

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Buffalo Belles

‘The Buffalo Belles’ is a social support group for transgendered persons in the Buffalo, NY area. We are a group dedicated to sharing our thoughts, feelings, and hopes in life. We are strongly dedicated in creating a peaceful, private, and safe environment in which we can communicate, understand one another, and in doing so better understand ourselves.

Love, Hannah

 

LGBTQ+ Resources in Oregon

If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!

Project Unity at Crossdresser Heaven is also an amazing resource!

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The Rose City T-Girls

The Rose City T-Girls have been established since November, 2007. We pride ourselves on earning respect from the entire community around us through our actions.

We have had activities with over a 100 participants and many times 30 or more. Our activities range from golf tournaments to weekly outings and annual trips to the Diva Las Vegas get together.

We are a very diverse group that ranges from cross dressers to fully transitioned male to female girls. We have had multiple girls complete their transition from start to finish at the same time helping and supporting others transition along the way.

 We are confident we will continue to grow and support the community in all ways. It is exciting to see so many girls that have had the opportunity to find themselves as a result of the group.

 We are and always will be Proud to be Transgender.