Ask Hannah!

Has Hannah affected your relationship with your wife?  Has your wife seen Hannah? Has she had “girls nights in” with Hannah? How does she feel aboutHannah?  How has her relationship with Hannah evolved since your early  days of blogging?

I could probably write (and maybe I should) a book about the dynamics and evolution and impact that crossdressing/being transgender has on a relationship, but I will try to keep this concise.

Being who we are is likely hard on our partners.  This is not a part of us that will change or go away, so we will never “outgrow” this part of us, this is not a phase we are going through.  Too many of us try to suppress this part of us when we meet someone and start a relationship because we don’t want to scare this person away by revealing this part of us.

But of course no matter how hard we try to deny it, this is who we are and we shouldn’t try to do that.  What we should do is be honest with ourselves and be honest with our partners.  I get emails from people like us who tell me that they don’t plan on telling their partners about this side of them until after they’re married.  Their thinking is that it’s too late for them to go anywhere.  This is hurtful, cruel, unfair and dishonest.

I told my wife about this part of me after a few months of dating, once I knew I wanted to marry her.  I’ve come out to a few partners in my life when I felt the relationship was strong and serious enough.  At the time I came out to her, I felt that this was all about under-dressing and I didn’t have a “male mode” or a “female mode”.  I was just a man who wore panties.

But people change and evolve.

After we’d be married for a few years, she asked if I ever wore makeup or clothes other than lingerie.  I had, but never really to the point of a full makeover or head to toe with a wig and heels.  She did my makeup that night and helped me order a wig.  Up to that moment she didn’t really understand why I liked lingerie but she understood the feeling of wanting to be beautiful.

I started to buy dresses with her help.  My wardrobe grew and our relationship now had a new part of it.  We were both learning about Hannah and getting to know her.  We had constant and honest communication about what… all this meant.  There were times where she was concerned about me wanting to transition and where all this was leading to.  Those concerns faded over time.

It’s easy to understand her concern.  I went from wearing panties to doing my makeup and having a closet full of heels in a few months.  My evolution accelerated and it was like going from a nice leisurely drive to a million miles per hour.  But eventually I stopped my gender exploration and landed where I am today and her concerns about me wanting to transition subsided.

This part of me has allowed me to be more open, honest, vulnerable and transparent with my wife.  Not only as Hannah, but as in my male side as well.  This took a lot of patience on her part and a lot of effort to try to understand me.  It took a lot of time, sometimes difficult communication and open and honest conversations.

So yes, she has seen Hannah.  We both met her at the same time, in a way.  We’ve had many girls nights in, whether it was a nice quiet night in wearing leggings or me rocking an amazing gown with winged eyeliner.

My wife and I used to feel that Hannah and my male side were two very different people.  Of course, we have very different wardrobes but over time Hannah and I have kind of… well, balanced out.  Hannah would tend to be more relaxed and chatty whereas I was more preoccupied with whatever was going on or needed to be done.  I don’t relax much, but our girls nights in gave me a chance to dress up and slow down and watch a movie or sit and talk.  My wife and I don’t feel there’s as much of a difference between my two genders (besides physician appearance and presentation) as there used to be.

I make all of this sound very easy and idyllic, but as with any relationship things are always more complicated and nuanced than it sounds.  I am lucky to have my wife for many reasons, not only because of this.

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

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Ask Hannah!

Have you ever thought about modeling as a bride for one of your photo shoots?  I know you’ve modeled before, so I was just curious.

I would love to do a photo shoot as a bride or a bridesmaid!  I’ve done quite a few shoots over the past few years both solo and with the MN T-Girls, and I am lucky to work with Shannonlee, an amazing photographer and the shoots are always better when Corrie does my makeup.

cherry dress 3

I also had the honor to work with Christie Williams of Grinkie Girls in March of 2018.

A few years ago I did modeling for Glamour Boutique and it was so much fun.

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I would love to do more modeling, period.  Last year I did some writing for Xdress and I was confused and disappointed when all of a sudden our partnership stopped.  I thought it would be fun to model for them and I did a shoot modeling one of their dresses.  I thought if Shannonlee and I put together a small portfolio it might entice them for modeling work but as the partnership dissipated without knowing why, my enthusiasm for the project died with it.

But here are a couple pictures from that day:

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But back to your question.  Yes, I would love to a do a bridal shoot!  I am becoming more drawn to “theme” shoots where I model one or two dresses in a really beautiful location.  The problem with a bridal shoot is that the dresses tend to be expensive and I can’t bring myself to spending that much money on one.  Ideally I would love to do a series of photos with me shopping for a dress and trying different ones on.  I would follow it up with perhaps a series of getting a makeover and then a shoot with the dress itself.

So, unless someone wants to buy me a gown, I am not sure that will happen anytime soon, but a t-girl can dream.  🙂

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

It Will Never Be Okay

I think the social norms surrounding clothes are hilarious.

Why is a t-shirt with a v-neck considered men’s wear and a t-shirt with a scoop neck is considered women’s wear?  It’s a shirt.

I stand by the belief that if every cis-male tried sleeping in a nightgown then within weeks Target would soon start selling nighties with designs like a football jersey.

Same with leggings because OMG leggings.

I get emails from many people, both trans and cis about clothes.  Some of the emails are from people who may not consider themselves transgender, but rather just want to wear what they want to wear.  “Why can’t guys wear a skirt?  What’s wrong with men wanting to paint their nails?”

Here’s the thing.  Anyone can wear a skirt.  Anyone can paint their nails, even if it’s tricky to paint your right hand with your left hand.  Clothes don’t know that society has placed expectations and norms on who can wear them.  If it fits, you can wear it.

But I know that’s not what they mean.  People want to be able to wear what they want without anyone caring.  Or pointing.  Or laughing.  But that will never happen.  We live in a society where the colors people wear make people so angry.  In 2011 J. Crew published an ad that had a photo of a mom painting her son’s toenails pink.  The world lost its mind.  The reaction, although depressing and hilarious at the same time, was not unexpected.

We live in a world where people get beat up because they’re wearing the opposing football team’s jersey at a game.

I think we can all agree that there are many people in the world who care waaaaay too much about what clothes people wear.  Whether I’m stepping out in heels and a killer bodycon dress and a $70 makeover or I am in guy mode wearing “girl jeans”, I know that I am making someone angry.

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Here’s me not caring about what you think

Good.  If what I wear is making you angry then I am glad to put you through that.  If you are the type of person who spends even a second of your time thinking about what I should or should not wear then you are, well, pretty pathetic.  I don’t care what you wear, why do you care what I wear?

I am not aware of any state that has laws that says that men cannot wear eyeliner or yoga pants.  Let me know if I’m wrong.  But what the law says and what societal norms are can be very different.  Just because there is or isn’t a law about something it doesn’t mean people will change their opinions and attitudes.

I think what we want is for it to be okay.  There were headlines all over the country a few years ago when the marriage equality act was passed.  It gave everyone the right to marry whoever they wanted.  But the law didn’t necessarily change people’s minds about the LGBTQIA community.  I can’t imagine someone seeing that the law changed and thinking “well, I guess it’s okay to be gay.”  If they didn’t like our community before, I doubt that law changed anyone’s mind.

My point is that even if the newspapers all over the world printed a headline that read “It’s Okay to Wear Whatever You Want”, it’s still not going to be “okay”.  It’s not “okay” for me to wear whatever I want.  But that’s fine, I don’t need permission from anyone when it comes to something like clothing.  Even if that headline was published, there will always be the change someone will laugh, point or threaten us whether we are rocking those stilettos or simply glaming up our eyes with a little mascara.

We need to stop waiting for permission.  We need to stop waiting for some authority to “let” us do what we want and wear what we want.  It will never come.  It will never be okay.

But it TOTALLY is.

I hope you can spend your weekend wearing what you want, whether you are strutting through the mall in knee high boots or being lazy in leggings.

Love, Hannah

 

The Littlest Black Dress!

The holiday season is always better when you can attend a holiday party, and what’s more classic (and sexy) than a little black dress?

I found this amazing dress at a thrift store.  The zipper needed to be replaced and it cost more to do that than the dress itself.  It fits like a dream.

This is the final set of photos from the MN T-Girls recent photo shoot!   Hope you like it!

Photography by Shannonlee.

Makeup by Ana at Rita Ambourne.

Love, Hannah

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All that Glitters…is AMAZING! 😍

Corrie Dubay is a makeup artist extraordinaire and owner of Femme Makeovers, an amazing transformation studio in Minneapolis.  She is a friend and hero to girls everywhere.  She is beyond talented and I am lucky to have worked with on photo shoots in the past.
Corrie has a newsletter that she sends out with helpful makeup tips like these and is reprinted here with her permission.  I am certain you’ll find this useful!  You can sign up for her newsletter here.
Love, Hannah
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Darlings – How are you? I hope you’ve been enjoying this relatively snow-free holiday season – I know I have! 😀

‘Tis the season for everything that sparkles and shines…just like all of YOU! Today I’m going to answer the ever so popular question: How the f*ck do you apply glitter so it stays?? Stay calm my friends, it’s really not too hard if you have the right tools. I have some easy tips and tricks to make glitter stay where you want it….instead of looking like a glitter bomb just went off in your face. (Trust we’ve all been there, though!!).

Sparkle on my dears!!

XOXO from your favorite makeup guru,

Corrie
FemmeMakeovers

Glitter – I think we all have some sort of love/hate relationship with it, right? It can really look great if applied correctly. But!! Like with lots of makeup-related things, it  doesn’t take much to tip-toe over into the “Oh, shit!! What just happened?” sort of situation (ex: I’m just going to do a nice little wing here….and before I know it, my ‘nice little wing’ is ready to take flight…)…yep. Been there, done that.

So – how do we control glitter? There’s a few different ways that will result in a similar outcome – it’s really dependent on what products you use and how you decide to apply. Before we get rolling though – you want to make sure you do your eye makeup first. Get your shadow and eye liner on before you even think about touching the glitter. Save your eyelashes for last though. Mainly because they are harder to work around – you can see what you’re doing better if you put the lashes on last.

Okay – so there’s a handful of different types of glitter products: loose glitter, glitter gels, glitter liquids, etc. You’ll find your fave (I happen to like loose glitter and glitter liquids the best – and I’ll tell you why in a second). But first!! NEVER, and I repeat NEVER use craft glitter anywhere on your face. Only use cosmetic grade glitters on your face, especially if you are putting it on your eyes. Craft glitter can cut the bejeezuz out of your eye and do some serious, serious damage. Cosmetic grade glitter is eye safe. It could irritate the eye a little if you get some in there, but shouldn’t do any serious damage.

Okay? Okay! As I mentioned – you have several types of glitter products:
1. Loose glitter (just as it sounds – no base, generally need something tacky to stick to)
2. Glitter gels (glitter in a gel base – great for skin/face, but usually slower dry time not always best for eyes)
3. Liquid Glitters (glitter in some sort of liquid base already – I think easiest to use, too).
To make glitter stick – it needs to either have a base applied prior to the glitter application, or, have the base mixed in w/the glitter. Having said that – you have a few different options for glitter base: liquids, cremes, etc. I’m showing one by LIT Cosmetics and MAC. The MAC one technically is not a glitter base (it’s called a paint pot – similar to a creme eye shadow) but works well enough (the finer the glitter, the longer it will hold w/the MAC one).
Let’s start with the liquid glitter base and loose glitter. With this particular glitter base I like to pour out a few drops of base onto a palette so I don’t contaminate my base. Then I dip a synthetic brush (because a synthetic brush will hold it’s shape when wet) into the glitter base, then into loose glitter and apply (pat or dab on). Because you are essentially mixing the two together, it forms somewhat of a barrier over the top – allowing for longer wear time and less fall out. Just make sure you allow the glitter base to fully dry before you open your eyes – otherwise you’ll have a crease that you can’t blend out.

The application with a creme base will be similar, except we will apply the creme first with a brush or finger, then pick up the glitter with your finger (or brush) and apply (again, pat or dab on). This one you won’t need to let dry like the liquid – the glitter sort of ‘sets’ the creme for you. I find finer glitters tend to work better with this.

The next product is going to be your glitter liquids (that have the glitter and base already mixed together). These tend to be the easiest to use, I think, because it’s really only one step: Applying/blending the glitter on. One of my faves is by Stila (you can find at Sephora) – they have a bunch of different colors and it’s really easy to use. Like with the other liquid base – give it a minute to dry before opening your eye so you don’t put a crease in it.

When working with glitter – you’ll have less of a mess if you can apply the base and the glitter together (liquid methods) rather than separate. The liquid will hold the glitter in place (for the most part) and I feel, is just easier to work with.

Once you get your glitter applied – put your eye lashes on (you can visit here for a step-by-step tutorial on how to perfectly apply false lashes). I suggest waiting until the glitter is on and dry because it’s a lot harder to see what you’re doing if you have a thick pair of lashes in the way. Plus – you might end up getting glitter all over the lash – which isn’t a bad thing, just not necessarily what you are after.

Please keep in mind I’ve only mentioned a few of my favorite glitter products here – there are literally hundreds of different options. In fact – most brands have some form of glitter and/or glitter base within the line – so experiment!! Play!! And as always – if you have questions – please feel free to reach out and ask!

I hope some of this helps – I love glitter – especially for fun nights out on the town. And having the right products and tools to work with will save you a lot of time and frustration! 🙂

Byeeeee!

PS: All product recommendations are based on my own personal experience using them. I’ve not been paid to make any of these recommendations. Be sure to check out our Instagram page!

Questions or want to request an appointment? Call/text (612-860-6739) or email Corrie at: corrie@femmemakeovers.com

Be sure to check www.femmemakeovers.com for more info.

Shopping for Lace in Cyberspace

Shopping online is so hit and miss.  When I first started to buy my own clothes, I had to gather up my courage to shop in the women’s department of a store or covertly pop into a Victoria’s Secret (well, not anymore) to find something cute that I hoped to God fit me.  This got expensive and exhausting.  It was stressful worrying about who might see me at Target when I needed to pick up a new pair of stockings.  Years of building (and purging and rebuilding) a wardrobe was expensive, especially since I didn’t know how to take my measurements.

But it did help me realize that unless you bump into someone you know, no one cares what you have in your shopping cart.  Stores don’t care what departments you shop in.  No one is paying as much attention to you as you think.  This realization helped me find the courage to step out into public the first time.

That being said, I would have loved to have been able to shop online all those years ago.

This dress, worn for the recent MN T-Girls recent photo shoot is a perfect example of when shopping online could go so wrong but thankfully ended up fitting like a dream.  For the most part.  It does not pass the “Can I sit down in this dress?” test, but I suppose in a way that’s one of the reasons I like it.

I wore this on a MN T-Girls event earlier this year, but I wanted too show it off in a photo shoot.

Photography by Shannonlee.

Makeup by Ana at Rita Ambourne.

I hope you like it!

Love, Hannah

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Help!!! My skin is SOOO dry!!! My Makeup Looks Patchy and Not So Pretty – What Do I Do???

Corrie Dubay is a makeup artist extraordinaire and owner of Femme Makeovers, an amazing transformation studio in Minneapolis.  She is a friend and hero to girls everywhere.  She is beyond talented and I am lucky to have worked with on photo shoots in the past.
Corrie has a newsletter that she sends out with helpful makeup tips like these and is reprinted here with her permission.  I am certain you’ll find this useful!  You can sign up for her newsletter here.
Love, Hannah
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Hello darlings! I hope this newsletter finds you well.

Today’s newsletter talks about dry skin and how to deal with it when applying your makeup. Winter – you can seriously just go away!!!!!!

Also!!! Be sure to check out the new Instagram page (@Femmemakeovers). If you’re on there – feel free to follow me!!

Warm wishes for a happy Holiday Season and super amazing New Year!

XOXO from your favorite makeup guru,

Corrie
FemmeMakeovers

Help!!! My skin is SOOO dry!!! My makeup looks patchy and not so pretty – what do I do????

That’s been a common question the past several weeks with the colder weather we’ve been having. Not only is it the season for parties and gift-giving, it’s that dreaded time of year where the cold weather combined with the dry air wreak havoc on our skin. I don’t know about you but no matter what I do – I feel like I cannot keep my skin hydrated enough….which in turn can cause some frustration when we are applying our makeup.

So…what do we do when our skin dry, flaky and our makeup will not cooperate? Well – for starters – we want to take look at our water intake. I know it might not sound like a big deal – but it’s going to be the best thing for us when trying to keep our skin looking and feeling hydrated.

1From there, be sure you are using a moisturizer (even if you’re not applying makeup)….and consider using twice a day. I actually have two different moisturizers I use. I use my Embryolisse before my makeup application. It hydrates but doesn’t leave my face feeling slimy or sticky. There are lots of great options out there but Embryolisse is my favorite.

At night I use something called a sleeping mask (which essentially is just a heavier moisturizer)…the one I’m currently using is by Laneige (you can find at Sephora). It’s heavier but because I’m putting it on before I go to bed, it doesn’t really matter. I wake up with skin that feels nice and hydrated. They also have a lip mask that is GREAT. Oils also work great for helping to hydrate the skin. I’ll rotate back and forth between the sleeping mask and oil at night…just to shake it up a bit! LOL! 🙂 The one in the photo is by Beautycounter.

Okay – so you’re moisturizing and drinking enough water but still have some flakiness happening. What do you do? Exfoliate!!! You can usually do it once or twice a week (depending on the product). This will help remove some of the dry, flaky skin that causes our makeup to look patchy or uneven. A couple of my faves are SexAppeal (you can use up to twice a week on your face and is gentle enough to use on your body daily if you want). It’s super easy to use: spray the area you want to exfoliate and massage or rub gently. The dead, dry skin will start to come off. Once it does – rinse with water. It leaves your skin feeling so soft. BONUS! This stuff is AMAZING on your feet, hands and elbows!!!!

The other one I just recently found is by Kate Sommerville – it’s called ExfoliKate and can2 also be found at Sephora. This one left my skin feeling AMAZING. Also very easy to use – apply a small amount to hands, gently massage onto your face, let sit for up to two minutes, then rinse. It does tingle a little bit at first but it’s not bad. I was super happy with how smooth my skin felt after though.

Side note: If you do exfoliate, do that before you moisturize and apply your makeup. You may also want to avoid using immediately after a shave as it could cause a little irritation.

3Another thing to help combat dry winter skin and aid with your makeup application is to also use a primer. We might not be able to entirely eliminate all the dry skin (which can cause our makeup to look a little patchy) so adding a primer could help with smoothing things out a little more. A few of my faves are the HD Micro Primer by Kryolan, WaterBalm by Sonia Roselli (This stuff is crazy good! Actually, all of her products are super great – a little pricey but worth the $$) and the Inglot Underbase Primer is also pretty solid (a little bit goes a long way!).
The last product I LOVE and use on just about everyone – regardless what time of year it is – MAC Fix+ – it’s basically a liquid moisturizer (although they claim it is a setting spray – I don’t feel like it has any setting properties – but that is just my opinion). I use it to dampen brushes and sponges, spray it as I apply makeup and also when I’m finished (before or after a setting spray) to add moisture to the application. Hands down the product I go through the fastest and use the most. Plus – it smells really nice.

My final piece of advice when it comes to dry skin and our makeup applications, if 4during winter months you struggle with dry skin – avoid using any sort of foundation that says matte, satin or velvet finish. These usually have a very dry looking finish (in my opinion) which can amplify the dry skin problem we are trying to lessen.

Okay – so as a quick recap:
1. Drink lots of water
2. Moisturize (face and lips) both day and night
3. Exfoliate to remove dry, flaky skin
4. Primers can help smooth things out
5. Using something like MAC Fix+ can add moisture to makeup applications if we’re still feeling especially dry.

Dealing with dry skin is one of my biggest frustrations so hope this helps a little. Good luck!!!

And as always feel free to reach out to me via email (corrie@femmemakeovers.com) or phone (612-860-6739 – and be sure to leave a message) if you have any questions or want to book an appointment. You can also visit www.femmemakeovers.com for more information.

Byeeeee!

PS: All product recommendations are based on my own personal experience using them. I’ve not been paid to make any of these recommendations.

Questions or want to request an appointment? Call/text (612-860-6739) or email Corrie at: corrie@femmemakeovers.com

Be sure to check www.femmemakeovers.com for more info.