So I have stepped back from the ledge.
Recently I wrote about how things seem to be going backwards and I do my best to avoid…ranting on my website. When I post I try to have engaging, relevant content, even when I am being totally superficial and raving about lingerie.
After I posted that particular update I calmed down a bit. Writing can be very cathartic. I read your emails which were very supportive and encouraging and empathetic. Of course some were along the lines of “Shut Up and Sing” but that was to be expected. My perspective is still very much the same and I am still angry and scared but I’ve decided a few things.
I know that my feelings and thinking may be pessimistic and perhaps not the same as everyone reading this, but it’s hard to be optimistic when legislation is being written and being passed into law that can and will negatively and dangerously impact our lives. And yes, this perspective may come off as fatalistic to some but I still can’t shake it.
Gender affirming care is being made a felony in certain parts of the United States and for now most of them are focused on people under the 18 years of age but it’s not hard to see where this is (probably) heading.
Could presenting as a gender that is different from the one you were assigned at birth be made a felony? I think that is very possible. I hope I am wrong.
I feel that time is running out. I feel that the things I do, the clothes I wear, the pronouns I use, could all be prohibited in a few years because the ‘M’ box is checked on my birth certificate. Again, I hope I am wrong.
So, knowing this, and with feeling these things, what do I do?
As I mentioned, I have stepped back from the ledge and it’s time to reassess. What do I do? What can be done?
I will continue to vote against people that have different values than I do. But other than that, I think I need to do what I would like to do, while I still can.
Not long ago I wrote about looking forward to the years ahead. It’s funny (and depressing) how the excitement of that post has been replaced with fear. It’s… like a deadline approaching, or the Sword of Damocles.
Over the last few months I have been thinking about what would be the safest thing to do if, for lack of a better phrase, identifying as transgender was considered illeagal.
And yes I know this sounds extreme. But in a country were you can earn a reward for reporting people who were involved in an abortion, even if it’s just the unknowing Uber driver, then I don’t think it’s that far-fetched for someone to be given money if they report a trans person at the mall.
Some of the potential actions are disbanding the MN T-Girls or no longer stepping out en femme. Hopefully it won’t come to these things.
For now, I am “safe”, or as safe as it is to be trans in Minnesota but things could change.
It’s best to prepare for the future even if planning is not my character, at least not in my femme identity. But let’s do some (pessimistic) speculating.
Before I dive into ANYTHING, I’d like to remind ya’ll that I am not a Democrat. I think the Democratic party, despite their best intentions, are incompetent and clueless. They’ve earned no praise, recognition, or votes.
And! I’d like point out a few facts:
The “Don’t Say Gay” legislation in Florida was proposed by Republicans.
The horrifying legislation in Texas was proposed by Republicans.
The military transgender ban from 2017 was proposed by Republicans.
This little disclaimer is about the facts about these proposals, as well as who in the government is writing and supporting laws like these. My point is that it seems that all the recent legislation that impacts the LGBTQIA+ community in a negative way has all been proposed and supported by Republicans (and yes, not all Republicans).
Anyway, as of this writing the Democrats control the White House, the Senate, and the House. If the Democrats REALLY wanted to do what they said they’d do when they campaigned, whether it was student loan forgiveness or protecting someone’s health care, they could have done it by now but I don’t think they know HOW to do what they said they would do.
It’s looking like the Democrats will lose the Senate in November’s mid-terms, and possibly the House. I don’t think there’s a single Democrat in the country that has a chance of winning the White House in 2024.
My thinking is that in a little more than two years all three branches of our government will likely be controlled by Republicans. If the last few years and the recent pieces of legislation have taught us anything, it’s that I think it’s safe to say that more laws against the trans community are a given. Oh sure, they will be written under the guise of something else, like preserving the sanctity of gender or whatever, but the intentions will be clear.
If this happens, and I think it’s likely, then my thought is that I have about two years of being able to “safely” present en femme and identify as transgender. After that, it could be a very different world.
So, what do I do until then? And yes, I know this all sounds very fatalistic and pessimistic and I hope I am wrong with all of this, but if there’s something I want to do en femme, it’s time to it now. Although this feeling of time running out is very depressing and frightening, there is a little bit of… hm, ambition I am feeling at the moment. Do I want to fly pretty? Do it now. Do I want to dress up as a princess? Do it now. Do I want to do a bridal photo shoot? Do it now. Attend a transgender conference? Do it now.
I am excited about doing these things, even if they are due to a very horrible reason.
I’ve swung back and forth recently about I should be doing. Part of me feels I need to…hm, reduce my visibility a bit to prepare for what I feel is the inevitable need to “go back into the closet” if legislation is passed to “regulate” gender identity/gender presentation. The other part of me feels that I should be as, ah, LOUD and as out there as I can possibly be before I no longer have the freedom to present and identify how I wish. Both options are extreme and at the opposite ends of the spectrum.
Stay safe. Stay true to yourself.
The comments section has gone completely off the rails and I have disabled them for this post.