Tag: transgender

Saturday Night Makeup Party

by Hannah

It’s humbling and exciting when you realize how much you don’t know. I’ve been wearing makeup for almost twenty years and over time I’ve adapted to a changing face in terms of shape as well as through the natural progression of aging. I use different techniques and products today compared to ten years ago.

So much about makeup isn’t even about lipstick and eyeshadow. Skincare, diet, and vitamins all play a part in how your makeup will look. And with so many options out there it’s important you find the right shade and the right product.

Admittingly this can be overwhelming.

Allllll of this was running through my head (and it was hard to keep up in the heels I was wearing lol) during the monthly MN T-Girls event this past weekend. On Saturday we were treated to makeup demonstrations and one-on-one help and private, afterhours shopping at Cos Bar in Edina.

This was our third visit and each visit surpasses the previous. The enthusiasm from the artists is contagious and omg we all felt so beautiful. It’s easy to feel that way during a makeover but I think there’s magic in details and subtlety. What I mean is when someone brings attention to something small that you don’t really think about. My artist complimented me on my feminine cheekbones and my fair skin. I have been riding that high for days.

I’ve been struggling with color correcting for a few months (again, our skin changes and therefore our makeup needs also change) and with my artists’ help I was able to add a new foundation and technique to my skillset.

Makeup can be overwhelming, especially when you understand how much makeup has to do with skincare and taking care of yourself. So much about makeup has nothing to do with brushes and eyeliner, but rather exfoliation and whether you’re getting enough vitamin C. But makeup, like many things, requires commitment.

As I drove home my brain started to process everything that I learned and I became excited about makeup all over again.

This was a wonderful evening. I cannot thank the fantastic people at Cos Bar. Incredibly supportive, absolutely affirming, and the best of the best.

Love, Hannah

Under the Radar

by Hannah

A recent comment reminisced about going back to an earlier time when transgender people could function under the radar.

I admit that sometimes this sounds appealing. It’s exhausting to see frequent tweets from powerful and influential people about the DANGERS that our community creates. As we become more integrated into society this kind of attention will increase. It’s a double-edge sword. For every accomplishment a gender non-conforming person achieves there will inevitably bring criticism.

What can be very frustrating is the way a news story can be spun. In May of 2023 a transwoman ran in a London marathon in the women’s category. Because, you know, transwomen are women. The headline in the New York Post reported “Trans runner beat 14K women in London Marathon after running NYC as a man”.

For context, people sometimes change their gender. At point some women identified as male. It’s not a surprise if a person does A THING at one point in their life and then they change their gender identity and then they do SAME THING but now they identify as a different gender.

The article admits that the runner in question was required to register for the New York marathon as the gender that is on their passport. It doesn’t sound like the runner was gaming the system. It sounds like they were adhering to the rules of the race.

For even further context, yes, I suppose the runner did beat 14k other women, but as reported by The Advocate, there were more than 6,000 women who finished ahead of the trans woman, Glenique Frank — she came in 6,159th in the women’s category.

I think when adding context, which I feel is part of reporting responsibly, the story takes on a different shape. But I suppose “runner places 6,159th in marathon” isn’t as alarming or clickbaity as “Trans runner beat 14K women in London Marathon after running NYC as a man”.

This is an example of someone in our community who achieved something but the accomplishment was overshadowed by a non-existent controversary. It’s kinda like when gender non-conforming people volunteer to read to kids at a library. The story isn’t about literacy anymore, it’s about PERVERTS.

I suppose these two examples are just efforts to push us back under the radar. We are allowed to exist (for now) but heaven forbid we are allowed to be a part of the world.

And yes, I know a few people in particular are going to be SO MAD about this post and I look forward to being inspired by your comments and emails.

If you long for the days when we were under the radar I have good news for you. Too much of the world wants the same thing. The way things are heading you’ll probably get your wish.

Of course, soon being under the radar won’t be enough for them.

It is heartbreaking and exhausting and demoralizing to see the hate and the spin and the legislation. But going back under the radar isn’t going to stop that. If we go under the radar, they are just going to come after us under it. It’s not enough for some that we stay home, some people want eradication.

I am intentionally posting these thoughts on Transgender Day of Visibility.

From glaad.org:

Each year on March 31, the world observes Transgender Day of Visibility to raise awareness about transgender people. It is a day to celebrate the lives and contributions of trans people, while also drawing attention to the poverty, discrimination, and violence the community faces.

This is a day, like everyday, where we should hold our heads high and soak in the sun, as opposed to the shadowy darkness that being under the radar provides.

I don’t think we will get the acceptance and equality we deserve in our lifetimes. And I know it feels like this is very much two steps forward and one step back (or even the opposite). But we are making progress. We just need to stick together.

I sometimes feel that acceptance is too much to expect and that I would simply prefer to going back to being ignored. The radar, like I said, sounds appealing. But I think doing so would take away all the rights and victories and progress that gender non-conforming activists achieved before us. If we go back, it’ll be even harder to go back to where we are even today. It’ll be that much more difficult to get to where we deserve to be.

We have history on our side. We have momentum.

Just keep going.

Love, Hannah

p.s. I know that today is also Easter and one of the holiest of day for the devout. I am not a Christian and I don’t celebrate the holiday and have nothing but respect for those that do. For those who mark this day as the resurrection of their savior I would like to wish you a happy Easter.

Gangster Girls

by Hannah

The MN T-Girls have had over one hundred monthly events during the ten plus years since our group started. Some of the adventures we have had are as simple as coffee and girl talk, some are annual events, like the Halloween party, and some focus on femme presentation, such as makeup lessons.

And then there are some that are completely out of left field. This past Saturday was such an occasion. Our group had our monthly event and it was one of the most unique things we’ve done. And it was wonderful.

A little history lesson first:

The city of Saint Paul has a wild and fascinating history when it comes to organized crime, gangsters, and bootlegging during the early twentieth century. The city was a haven and a refuge for many notable criminals… with the blessing of the police chief and mayor at the time. It’s fascinating to learn that a personal residence was once the home of Ma Barker or the one time hideout of John Dillinger. Criminals yes, but local heroes to some.

In fact, there are caves and tunnels in various parts of the city where criminals hid the alcohol they were smuggling or even had wild parties in.

For our March event the MN T-Girls had a bit of field trip. The Wabasha Street Caves conducts different tours of some of these caves. Years ago I went on one but they also do bus tours of the city where a tour guide points out different landmarks where criminals hid as well as buildings with a fascinating and sordid history.

This was wonderful. This was so fun. I absolutely cannot recommend this tour enough. It was such a fun day and I am absolutely going to do it again.

On a personal note, I love taking pictures of the group but I was only able to get one picture of us which was taken before the tour started. And here it is!

And no, I did not trade in my Kia. This car was presumably owned by a gangster. I had meant to learn more about this car and I had intended to take more pictures of us after the tour but shortly after the bus left the parking lot I received a message from my sister that she was taking my mom to the emergency room. I wasn’t able to exit the tour so once the bus returned I dashed away to return home to change and then join my sisters.

The doctors aren’t completely sure about what is happening but hopefully we’ll know more soon. Please keep her in your thoughts if you can.

Love, Hannah

Strutting and Stumbling

by Hannah

I think many of us can relate to the maxim “two steps forward, one step back”. We make progress but maybe backtrack a little. We strut forward, but we also stumble. We run, and we rest. We are inspired, but we might give up for a little while.

We buy dresses, but we purge a few days later.

But we are always moving forward. Even if it’s just a few inches, even if it’s over the course of a lifetime. The finish line is always there, and it looks different to all of us.

This is a journey.

I get a lot of emails from people who are coming to terms with this side of themselves. They know this side of them is there and they’ve acknowledged it… even if it’s reluctant or it’s frightening or intimidating to them. 

Sometimes this side of us overtakes us. Sometimes it overwhelms us. Sometimes we are enveloped by the Pink Fog and all the wonderful and dangerous aspects it brings.

The emails I get are very personal and people that I’ve never met, and likely never will, share their most personal and intimate aspects of themselves with me. I am amazed at the courage and faith people give someone else. It’s not uncommon to read about someone’s journey from the frightening and/or liberating moment they’ve acknowledged that there is something more to themselves regarding where they are now and where they may be going.

Being a member of the MN T-Girls is wonderful in that regards. I can recall some of the members emailing me for the first time, likely with their hands trembling as they composed their email and then a few months or a few years later they are strutting around Minneapolis like the city is their queendom.

I love this.

Rarely is someone’s journey linear. Again, we stumble and we are humbled. But we also rise.

I get emails and messages from some girls almost on a daily basis. Sometimes these messages are about little things such as buying their first pair of panties or trying on a dress at the mall. Sometimes they share about the conversation they had in therapy about their gender identity. They are on their journey and I am blessed that they are sharing it with me.

But we all stumble.

Sometimes without warning the messages stop. Sometimes they resume weeks or months later. Sometimes I get an email from them telling me they have purged and want to ignore their heart. 

Sometimes I’m told they no longer want to belong to the MN T-Girls. Sometimes I’m told that they have decided to stop reading my website or following me on Twitter. 

I (usually) don’t take it personally. Although it’s not unheard of that someone is just tired of me (and I don’t blame them, lol), sometimes they just want to cut out all aspects of this side of themselves. 

After getting to know someone (even just virtually) it’s hard not to wonder what they’re up to once they stop writing. I hope ya’ll are okay.

It’s not uncommon to exchange emails over the course of a few weeks. It’s not uncommon for someone to share very intimate and personal details and wishes when it comes to their gender identity. In many cases this is the first time they have shared these feeling with someone. 

And then they stop.

I wonder why. Like I mentioned earlier, I feel that sometimes someone wants to put these feelings away and that means cutting off any and all aspects of this side of them. I can understand this. 

Please don’t feel shame about who you are. 

This happened recently. A member of the MN T-Girls wrote to me and she asked a question hoping for my perspective. She felt it would be a good thing for my website and after reading it I agreed. I saved the question and in a few days I received another email from requesting to be withdrawn from the group. 

I can’t help wonder what she was feeling between these two emails. I hope she is okay. 

As she pointed out, she felt it would be a good topic for the website. Although she may not see my response, I thought I would still address it here. My assumption is that the question she asked was important to her and that she was struggling with something. I’m not a therapist and I can only offer my perspective but I think many of us just want reassurance that they are not alone in their feelings and perhaps their confusion. 

No one is alone. I promise.

Here’s what she asked it:

After spending time online for the past few months making friends and getting to know others, I have found that many individuals, including myself, have moments where we feel isolated because we are either not married, married and not out to our family, or simply not out to anybody. Dressing and sharing always brings joy and gives us something to share, but inevitably we are left feeling empty until the next time we can connect with each other or dress again. I shared with a close friend of mine that it is like we have this exciting, incredible secret about something that  to ourselves that has happened to ourselves without ever being able to share or celebrate with others. 

Having the egg finally crack after decades of keeping the desire to live En Femme all bottled up to then finally being free makes you want to share it with others. For obvious reasons whether family, jobs, neighbors, and our own personal safety, we are unable to dress or live En Femme as much as we would like. I have often times gone a week without dressing and feel sad and even irritable until I can dress.

I would love to hear your experiences with how you and others at the beginning of your journey coped with not being able to dress as much as you would like and needing to keep the secret of your En Femme life.

Would appreciate if you would speak from your experience along with others remembering that not all of us have therapists or significant others to lean on.

I love what she writes here. I am so glad she feels that this side of her is exciting and incredible and is worth sharing and celebrating. Not only is this side of us is all of that and more, I think it’s remarkable when someone has accepted who they they are.

When I made the step from underdressing to presenting en femme I made a lot of mistakes and was easily enveloped by the Pink Fog. Not only did I think about dressing 24/7, I also talked about dressing 24/7 to my overwhelmed wife. She was and is accepting and supportive, but I was oblivious to how much this side of me overshadowed everything in our lives. 

It’s a perfect example of how it’s now always this side of us that’s the problem, it’s the aspects that come WITH this side of us that become a problem. It would drive anyone crazy if their partner only talked about one thing, whether it’s a sport or conspiracy theories.

One thing that helped tremendously is making friends. As the writer pointed out, not all of us have supportive significant others in our lives. Although my wife was and is supportive, I realized I needed (and will always need) friends. To clarify, Hannah needed friends. So, I made them. Starting the MN T-Girls was exactly what I needed. I found friends to go to the mall with and I found friends to talk about makeup techniques and rave about amazing shoes. 

Having others to talk to took a lot of pressure off my wife. I had others to talk about this side of me with. Having friends allowed me to stay connected to Hannah’s world even when I wasn’t en femme. I realized that I didn’t need to see Hannah in the mirror to stay in touch with her life. Exchanging emails and making plans with my friends helped with this. Even to this day, if I am feeling a little too entrenched in HIS life, I will email a friend and make plans to go shopping. 

Which brings up another thing that helped: having something to look forward to. If I am having a lousy Tuesday but the MN T-Girls are having our monthly outing that weekend, it makes the week a little brighter. 

Which also brings up yet another thing. I always know an opportunity to be en femme is coming. Sure, I may not be able to dress up that night, but I know I will this weekend.

Small things help, too. I may have to present as HIM, but I can also wear a cute cami and matching panty under his clothes.

Accepting and embracing this side of us is wonderful but it’s not unlike a breaking dam. Feelings, desires, dreams… all of this rushes out and we’re overwhelmed with all of these new thoughts and hopes and fantasies and wishes. When this happened to me I had to regulate it. I had to control it. This was overwhelming my life and my wife. It was not sustainable.

I had to find balance. And I did. This balance is a combination of underdressing, planning future days out en femme (like today!) and having friends.

None of this was easy. None of this is easy. All of this required work and patience and controlling impulsive thoughts. 

But it was all worth it. 

I hope this helps the girl who wrote this. My fear is that she was and is so tormented by not being able to present as who she is as often as she wishes and needs to that she feels it’s better to suppress and ignore and deny this side of her. 

What about you? What helps you?

Love, Hannah

Wear the Rainbow

by Hannah

From mprnews.org

For Maddy Loch, Rainbow Wardrobe is a simple concept. It’s your classic fashion television show. She is the host curating the look. The customer is the contestant, and at the end they get to keep everything for free. 

The shop’s clients are LGBTQ+ people, who often don’t have many options when it comes to clothes. At Rainbow Wardrobe, LGBTQ+ advocates are using donated items to help meet a need for business attire, androgynous jeans, larger sized women’s shoes and other items.

Supporters say it’s an important need to fill as Minnesota’s status as a trans refuge for health care draws more people to the state. Loch says more than half of Rainbow Wardrobe’s visitors are new residents who moved to Minnesota due to the transgender protections passed last year by the Legislature. 

“We have people coming from southern states who are like, ‘We need these things. This is why we moved here,’” said Loch. “So many nonprofits like ours are bending over backwards to try to accommodate the influx of need that has come into our state, which is amazing. Individuals having access to this can be life-saving.”

Kat Rohn, executive director of OutFront Minnesota, said the organization has helped hundreds of people since the passage of the trans refuge act last spring. Their helpline alone had more than 800 calls in 2023, many from residents of neighboring states inquiring about LGBTQ+ efforts and safety in Minnesota. Rohn expects those numbers to increase in 2024.

“Minnesota has a long history of welcoming different populations to the state — that’s not new for us,” she said. “But this is a new population with a new set of challenges and needs, and we’re hoping that we can meet the need. We really believe that Minnesotans do want to be a place of welcome for families.”

The DFL-controlled Legislature last spring locked in key protections for LGBTQ+ rights, including banning conversion therapy for youth and vulnerable adults and protecting gender-affirming and reproductive health care for patients and providers.

States around Minnesota have gone the opposite direction, moving to ban or make it harder for health care providers to treat LGBTQ+ patients, specifically young transgender people. According to the Associated Press, at least 22 states have enacted laws banning or restricting gender-affirming care for minors.

Rainbow Wardrobe launched as an idea during the Twin Cities Pride Festival in June. It started as a clothing rack and a couple garbage bags. After positive feedback at the festival, Loch, programming coordinator for Rainbow Circle, the community programming division of Twin CIties Pride, took charge of the wardrobe. 

Bags and bags of donations came in, Loch sifted through the items and began to create a customized experience in the basement of Rainbow Circle’s offices in Loring Park.

The shop is organized by garment, size, feminine pieces and masculine pieces. Shampoo, soap, menstrual products, laundry detergent and other donated items are also available. It sees about a customer a day.

With money donated, Rainbow Circle has been buying gender-affirming undergarments such as tucking underwear, menstrual boxers and binders, which are used in the practice of chest binding when a person may want to flatten their chest.

They’re some of their most popular items at the store. Loch provides education after guests take these items, specifically for binders as there are important instructions for their use. 

Finding clothes that look right and fit well, she says, is a universal desire.

“When I woke up this morning and got dressed I put on gender-affirming clothing that made me feel feminine, but also comfortable. It is a ritual everyone takes part in,” she said. “Yes, this is a gender-affirming wardrobe, but it is also just a wardrobe for individuals to come in and find clothes that make them feel comfortable, because that is a right that everyone deserves.”

Rainbow Wardrobe is open weekdays 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. After-hours appointments are available. The shop will also open this weekend from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Love, Hannah

Hard Candy

by Hannah

This past Saturday was the monthly MN T-Girls outing and girl, I was lucky to GET out.

What I mean is that we did an escape room and it was SO HARD. If it wasn’t for the smart girls in our group I’d still be locked in the room trying to find a way out.

We met at Hidden Room in Roseville and we did a candy themed escape room. We had one hour to solve different puzzles that ranged from deciphering cryptic clues to identifying patterns to logic puzzles.

It was so hard!

But it was so fun! Honestly this was one of my favorite events we’ve done. 

We (well, I say WE even though I contributed hardly anything) managed to solve all the clues with about six minutes left to go. 

The staff was lovely and fun and we will absolutely be back. Hopefully we’ll be able to get out the next time, too.

Love, Hannah

Jingle Belles!

by Hannah

This weekend was the monthly MN T-Girls event and like every December for the last few years it was our annual holiday party!

I love this party. It’s a wonderful excuse to get dressed up and it’s a relatively low key event for us to just chat and take a brief rest for the hectic holiday season.

There were a little over a dozen of us snacking and having girl talk. The girls all wore beautiful dresses but due to two wardrobe mishaps I ended up wearing my third option. Luckily I had a backup dress but I was disappointed I wasn’t able to wear my other two dresses which had more of a sparkly holiday vibe.

What a year we had! I need to start coordinating events for next year but for now I’ll just look back on the glam and the beauty and fun we had in 2023.

Love, Hannah

Ten Years of T-Girls, Part One

by Hannah

The last few days have been filled with significant and personal milestones.

I turned 48 on the 16th.

I celebrate 7 years of sobriety today.

I am humbled and grateful for marking 10 years with the MN T-Girls this past weekend.

These are all very personal and very wonderful accomplishments. They each are moments where I can look back over the years and reflect on what led to today.

Over the weekend I chatted with many of the T-Girls, many who have become important and dear friends in my life and was asked two questions that realllllly made me think about the group as a whole as well as the last decade.

One question is if there is, or was anything I’ve wanted the group to do as an event that we haven’t done quite yet. This took me a moment but there really wasn’t anything tooooo specific. I mean, I would love for us to take a day trip to a city in Minnesota that’s not Minneapolis or Saint Paul. I would love for us to do some charity work. But these are ideas that I haven’t really sat down and explored the logistics quite yet.

As a group we have done events that I personally NEVER thought I would do on my own, let alone with a group of other t-girls. It’s hard to remember a time when simply going to Starbucks was the equivalent to climbing a volcano protected by werewolves. We have had private shopping events, bra fittings, makeup lessons, amazing dinners, Pride events, theatre outings… all in heels and eyeliner.

My God.

So many of those events were once an impossible dream but we did it. And we did it together. It was a lofty idea all those years ago, to bring girls like us together, to do everyday things, whether meeting for coffee or having lunch, but it’s a dream realized.

The group doesn’t exist today because of me. Yes, I started it and yes I plan almost every event, but we meet each month because at least one girl showed up for the previous month’s event. I intend to keep planning events as long as I am able and as long as girls keep coming.

But the girls do more than just show up. They help plan events. They suggest ideas. They help set up the tent at Pride. They donate funds for hotel rooms for our annual holiday parties. They bring food and treats to potlucks.

Another question I was asked that took me a moment is what surprises me the most about the longevity of the MN T-Girls. Honestly? That it still exists. I had attended a few meetings of other trans support groups prior to the MN T-Girls and I met some wonderful girls there. They were, and will always be, important and valuable to our community. These groups tended to meet in private rooms, whether in a church or in a LGBTQ+ business.

Safe, private spaces.

Which is crucial for almost all of us, especially in our early days.

The MN T-Girls had a goal that was (and maybe still is) a little ambitious and perhaps a little naive which is still having a safe space for us… but out in the real world. To help girls experience the small and silly things like having a coffee or going shopping. To show the world (or at least Minneapolis) that we exist and we are just doing the same things that everyone else does.

As far as I know we seem to be accomplishing this. And this is all in thanks to the girls in the group. It’s impossible to show the world that WE exist if WE don’t do everyday things. We, in a way, have become accidental ambassadors (if you will) of the non-binary community. We are (again, this is possibly naive and likely hubris) showing the world that *this* is not about sex, it’s not a fetish, it’s not… weird. We are just very tall girls doing stuff.

“Very Tall Girls Doing Stuff” should be the mission statement of the group. I should put that on a shirt.

And yes, I know that not all of us are tall. 🙂

My second answer to what has surprised me the most about the group was that it hasn’t turned into A Sex Thing.

I mean, as far as I know, lol.

What I mean is that when my wife gave me the idea, and her blessing, for the group, I researched a lot of other groups to see if I could learn anything about how to get started. It wasn’t uncommon for a group to start off as a support group but soon became a place for others to hook up.

And of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with sex. But as much as the goal of the group was and is to meet others, it’s not meant to help others get laid.

A side note to the MN T-Girls who are reading this: if there’s something going on that I don’t know about, well, I want to continue to not know about it, lol.

But seriously, the girls and the group as a whole have continued to surprise and delight me. This is one of the most fulfilling and wonderful things I have ever done or will ever do with my life.

As soon as 2023 started (which feels like forever ago and feels like yesterday at the same time), I knew we had to do something special. If we did a normal event I thought it would feel like a missed opportunity. I mean, we COULD do a BIG celebration for the 20 year anniversary but who knows if we will get that far? It still surprises me we hit three months, let alone 120 months.

The girls offered a lot of really fun ideas and we explored a lot of them. Some were cost prohibited, though. I like keeping the events throughout the year divided between free or low-cost outings and relatively pricey events (such as photo shoots and theatre visits) balanced. The thought of a celebration that was out of many people’s budgets didn’t feel right.

I also received suggestions from non-MN T-Girls. There were quite a few readers who considered making a trip to Minnesota to celebrate with us and some asked if we could plan a typical MN T-Girls event in addition to whatever celebration we would end up doing.

In the end we had three different activities. The first was a private shopping event at Allure on Friday night. The other two were the next day.

Friday was meant to be a typical MN T-Girls event. We’ve had three private parties at Allure in the past and I was more than happy to arrange for another.

And yes, private shopping events don’t really fit the goal of avoiding cost prohibitive activities, but the two things we would do the next day were free (well, aside from potentially paying for parking or choosing to order food or drinks).

At 6pm on Friday, the doors were locked at Allure and our private event started. There were about 7 of us. Many girls had a bra fitting, many girls bought cute lingerie, and we all chatted and had a really lovely evening.

I treated myself to a few things, such as a pair of panties that cost $46. I’ve had my eye on them for like FOREVER and I didn’t think ANY panties justified that price but I’m wearing this pair at this very moment and you know what? I think I’m in love.

Here’s a few pictures from the night. I’ll share photos and thoughts about the second part of our celebration tomorrow.

Thank you to Allure for just being amazing. There’s a reason I keep coming back and a reason the MN T-Girls have had multiple private parties here. Thank you to the girls who attended and for helping create a really lovely evening.

Love, Hannah

T-Ghouls!

by Hannah

This past Saturday was the MN T-Girls monthly event which was our annual SpoOooOOoky and SEXY Halloween party. Like previous years we were guests at one of our member’s homes but unlike other years I actually put some time and effort into a costume.

You know, for a girl who loves dressing up I sure am terrible at Halloween.

Anyway, I am very thankful for the little community we have. We are supportive of each other and are really a sisterhood. We are the friends that we have always needed and I am so lucky to know so many lovely girls.

Here’s a few pictures of the girls. I hope you have picked out a cute costume this year even if the only trick-or-treating you do is in your own living room.

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

by Hannah

I would like to meet another t-girl to be friends with. Where would be the best place to meet someone else who likes to crossdress?

Honestly? The internet.

It’s not like we all go out an congregate in specific places unless it’s a LGBTQ+ bar/nightclub, I suppose.

Some of us, including myself, are, well, visibly transgender. I don’t pass and I don’t believe in passing. I 10000000% expect someone to see me and realize that I was assigned male at birth. And I am 1000000000000% okay with that. It’s true, I was assigned male at birth.

In allllll the years I have been going out, I think it’s safe to say that I have seen about five girls in public that I was fairly sure they were transgender. They were doing, you know, normal things. One was drinking coffee at a café patio, another was at a dress shop… you know, everyday things.

I will never clock or out another transperson. I would never walk up to another t-girl and strike up a conversation with them BECAUSE of their gender identity. I would hate it if that happened to me. Yes, I am trans and I know I am trans and you know I am trans and I know you know I am trans and let’s just move on, lol.

Meeting another crossdresser is next to impossible. I am defining ‘crossdresser’ here as someone who presents as male but perhaps underdresses. It’s not like you are going to walk up to that guy in a suit and ask them if they crossdress. They are also likely not going to signal that they are a crossdresser.

I know we need friends. I need my t-girl friends. It’s why I started the MN T-Girls. We tend to be very private, discreet, and fiercely protective people. Many of us avoid being noticed in public.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

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