There’s no question that we are complex and unique.
And at the same time we are… uncomplicated.
I identify as transgender, but more specifically I suppose I bi-gender would be accurate. I am either HIM or HER. I do not live as one gender, I go back and forth.
I suppose to some that would sound like I can’t decide on WHO I am, or I am conflicted or confused about my gender, but it’s not for someone else to understand.
Although my gender identity is sacred and personal and important to me, I also view it as no different than other aspects of my life. I like both Mexican and Italian cuisine. I like sleeping in and waking up early. I am introverted and social. I am more than one thing, and I don’t see why I can’t be more than one gender.
This perspective is taking something as potentially complex and baffling to others to a very simplification. Of course I know that gender identity and a favorite food are not on the same level, but when I order pasta at a restaurant no one tries to psychoanalyze why I am getting it.
My gender identity is just who I am. I can’t explain it, nor do I think it needs (or there is) an explanation. There is no deep-rooted trauma, no childhood event that is associated with why I do what I do or why I am who I am. Like writing with my right hand as opposed to my left, both of my genders just feels right.
I get a lot of emails from men and women and those who aren’t sure of who they are, or those who don’t feel there is a name how they identify. Most of us don’t wonder why we are who we are. But there is a level of frustration when it comes to others not understanding or accepting who we are. Many times this frustration can prevent us from coming out. In some cases it’s because we know that others can’t look at gender as either THIS or THAT, but in others (such as myself), coming out is exhausting and requires a lot conversation and questions (which is normal and understandable, I suppose) but it’s overwhelming to discuss something endlessly when there really is no reason as to why I am who I am.
So, my question to you today is what do you wish others knew about you? For those of you who have come out, how did you talk about it?
This is the final set of photos from November’s photo shoot.
Besides working with my friend and photographer Shannonlee, one of the reasons I love doing photos is having a chance to show off another side of my wardrobe. Most of the time when I go out en femme, I dress for what I’m doing that day, whether it is shopping or going to dinner.
But there is a side of me that loves to look… sexy. A girl wearing leather or PVC looks a little out of place at the mall, so photo shoots give me a chance to let this side of me out for a little bit.
Of course sexy is subjective and this look isn’t for everyone, but it’s still a part of me.
What do you think?
I heart lingerie. It was the first piece of clothing that I fell in love with when I was young. Panties, a garter belt, and stockings were the first things I bought that were truly mine. I underdress each day, and every morning I wake up in a nightie.
Lingerie is a part of each day and each evening. But as a t-girl, lingerie can be tricky. Not every panty is going to fit, and without forms the effect of a push-up bra is lost. I am very happy that there are options out there for girls like us, and even happier that there are businesses that embrace our community.
But of course, I want MORE.
A few years ago I wrote about Carmen Liu, a transwoman who designed a line of lingerie for girls like us. I am happy to hear that En Femme will now be carrying Ms. Liu’s beautiful lingerie.
I’m really happy that we have another option to fill our lingerie drawer with beautiful panties and bras. A girl can never have too many options.
And yes, I do model and blog for En Femme, but rest assured that I would be just as enthusiastic about this even if I wasn’t partnering with them 🙂
Is there a better way to spend a Saturday night than shopping for lingerie?
Last night was the first event of the year for the MN T-Girls. We started 2020 off in a fun and sexy fashion as we had a private shopping event at Allure Intimate Apparel in Saint Paul. This was our second visit there and I promise you that there will be a third.
T-Girls want to find places where we feel welcome. Lingerie shopping is one of the most intimidating and potentially one of the most frustrating things we can do. Allure not only has beautiful lingerie but they also are incredibly welcoming to our community. I don’t think you can ask for a more supportive and enthusiastic ally. And we need all the support we can get.
Ten t-girls had a wonderful time shopping for pajamas, bras, panties, and lingerie. We had bra fittings and found beautiful things to wear. I love what I bought.
I want to thank the amazing and welcoming staff at Allure. Their passion to lingerie is unmatched. They know their merchandise and are enthusiastic when it comes to the lacy strap of a bra to the style of panties. If you have an Allure in your city, I absolutely recommend a visit.
My newest article for En Femme is live! I’ve written about the Pink Fog before, but I wanted to expand on how this side of us can often cloud our judgment and the impact it can have on our significant others. I hope you like it!
How fun is this dress??
I wore it only once before and I have no idea why I don’t wear it more often. My last photo shoot was the perfect reason to do so. For some reason I think polka dots are super femme and I hope you like these pictures!