Thoughts From the Dressing Room

The world is filled with exciting and fascinating places, but is there anywhere more thrilling (and humbling) than a dressing room?  Most of us know the fear and excitement that bringing a dress into a changing room can bring.  Within a few minutes either your mood is ruined or you feel like a princess.  And yes I know this is a little superficial and extreme but there you have it.  Before I was ready to leave my home en femme, I did my shopping in boy mode.  After a while, with an extreme amount of courage, I started to take a few dresses into a changing room.  When I was ready to shop en femme, using a changing room was easier mainly because I didn’t look like a man in a necktie stepping into the changing room to try on a dress.  This also got easier because I was brave enough to step out into the real world as Hannah, so using a changing room was a breeze.  

Trying on clothes is a wonderful and super fun thing to do, but it can also be frustrating.  I can try on two dresses that are the same size and one can fit like a dream and the other I can’t zip up.  How one presents can also change how a dress fits.  In male mode a dress might fit me but I don’t get the full effect until I have my curves, courtesy of my corset, breast forms, and thigh pads.  But this can also work against me.  Foundation garments can add a tiny bit to my waist and bust and all of a sudden a dress that fits perfectly in male mode can’t be zipped up.  

As I mentioned, this can be a humbling experience.  Some dresses look super cute on the rack but when we try them on we realize it’s not quite the dress for us.  If we can’t zip up a dress we might feel fat.  We might feel not-cute.  Or feminine.  We might feel foolish that we ever thought we could be pretty.  As often as a dress makes me feel like a queen, there are just as many, if not more, outfits that make me feel ugly, fat, and MALE.  None of these feelings are kind and I don’t like feeling these things.  No one does.  We need to remember that we can’t let a dress or a skirt or anything to have that much negative power over us.  And yes, this is waaaaay easier said than done.  

My birth certificate was checked MALE when I was born because of my anatomy.  And I still have all the parts I was born with.  As I grew my body developed the way bodies for most cis male do.  I’m tall, I have broad shoulders, and no curves.  I am a rectangle.  When I present as male I don’t give my shape or body a second thought.  But when I am en femme or trying on a dress then I put myself under a microscope.  I do my best to not be tooooo critical in a changing room.  I try to resist any thoughts about being too male, too fat, too anything for a dress.  I try to be objective and not let a dress hurt my feelings, if you will.  When I try on a dress I try to look at it as if it’s right for my style, right for my body, and just… right for me.

Recently I visited Blackbird, a cute boutique in Mankato and I found SO many cute things and since I overthink I had a lot of thoughts when I was in the dressing room and I thought I would share them here!

The first dress I tried on was this cute sparkly dress.  It was stretchy and super cute.  The zipper glided up and fit like it was made for me.  Since I look at my body under a microscope when I try on a dress, I checked myself out from a few different angles and thankfully still liked how I looked.  The only thing I didn’t care for was the shoulder pads (my shoulders don’t need the help) but thankfully they can be removed.  I unzipped the dress, put it back on the hanger, and hung it on my “keep” peg.

Next up is this super sexy green party dress.  I walked past this dress a few times and with a little encouragement from the salesclerk I let her put it into the changing room.  As much as I adore plunging necklines and high slits, I had a feeling this dress wasn’t going to end up in my closet.  It fit and had I tried it on in male mode I probably would have bought it.  BUT! since I was wearing stockings and breast forms I quickly realized that this dress wasn’t for me.  For starters, the neckline was waaaay too plungly.  The bra I like to wear with my breast forms was showing too much and that’s sometimes not a problem because I can just tug the dress up a bit.  BUT! the high slit just got higher when I did that.  The top of my stockings were showing (as you can see in the photo) and between showing off waaaaaaaay too much leg and flashing everyone my bra, I decided that this dress was a better fit for someone else’s body.  I know I could skip the stockings but I love how they smooth out my leg and even out my skin color.  Nylons and pantyhose could do the trick, but they can make using the ladies room a little trickier especially when I was wearing a tightly cinched corset.  AND! I prefer stockings for a very practical reason.  If they get a run I can replace one stocking as opposed to tossing out a pair of nylons or tights.  And! I prefer stockings for a very superficial reason.  They are sexy.

As a t-girl, I have a love/hate relationship with dresses that have sleeves. Sometimes the sleeves are too tight, sometimes there is not enough accommodation for my broad shoulders (which can lead to split seams), and sometimes the sleeves simply aren’t long enough. I wasn’t expecting to love this dress as much as I did because of the sleeves, but I am happy to say that I was pleasantly surprised with it. The dress also has a nice cut which compliments my bust without it being toooooo plungy. The dress is short which, if I am being honest, I have no issues with. ūüôā This cute dress is hanging in my closet and I’ll probably wear it on my next time out.

Finally we have a vegan leather dress.  I love love love leather, and I particularly love vegan leather.  It has more of a stretch, it’s shinier, and it usually tends to be more affordable than real leather.  This was the first dress I picked out when I started shopping and as long as it fit, it was a definite buy.  Ironically enough, this dress also caused the most uncertainty of everything I tried on.  Although vegan leather tends to be stretchier, I am never super confident how well it will fit.  I picked the same dress in two different sizes to try on.  I am happy that both fit (especially the smaller of the two, lol) but therein lies the dilemma.  I liked the smaller size because it fit better.  Leather is supposed to be somewhat form fitting and I like to show off my curves (again, thanks to my corset, thigh pads, and breast forms).  BUT! the larger of the two was a LITTLE baggy.  I looked, to be honest, a little frumpy.  Can’t have that.  The smaller size was sexier and hugged my body more… but it was shorter and hung on my body differently.  I couldn’t decide if I wanted the tighter dress or the slightly more modest one.  This might be a surprise but there are some dresses in the world that even I think are tooooo short.  In the end I picked the smaller size.  I actually picked two colors (one black and the other white) of this dress.  I can never have enough black leather dresses but I didn’t have a white one.  Although the dress is short, I reminded myself that some dresses are meant to be worn while I am sitting, and some, like this one, should only be worn when I am standing.  


I am happy with what I picked out.  I hope my thoughts, my insecurities, my circular decision process was insightful if not relatable.  You are more than a dress size.  Not every dress will fit you.  Not every dress is designed for every single body.  Don’t let an ill-fitting dress ruin your day or dull your sparkle.


Love, Hannah 

New Year, New Clothes!

This past weekend was the first MN T-Girls event of 2022 and THEEEE best way to kick off the year is by doing a little shopping. We were invited for a private shopping event at The Blackbird in Mankato.

The Blackbird sells clothing, accessories, and gifts and it’s probably the cutest boutique I have ever been to. And I found so many cute things! I strutted out of there with four new dresses, some accessories, and some jewelry. It was so fun.

I can’t wait to wear my new outfits and to return to the Blackbird for new clothes. Much thanks to Ali and Brie for hosting us and helping us pick out new items for our closets. Mankato is a BIT of a drive from the Twin Cities but absolutely worth it.

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I am very curious about crossdressing, please let me know where I can shop.

It all depends on what you’re looking for.

Every t-girl/crossdresser is different and we all need and want different things.  Thankfully there are quite a few options out there.  When it comes to retailers that design for and market to our community, I shop online with En Femme, Xdress, Homme Mystere, Glamour Boutique, and the Breast Form Store the most.

I like Xdress and Homme Mystere for their beautiful, feminine lingerie. I like the Breast Form Store for their practical stuff, like forms, pads, and gaffsI like Glamour Boutique if I want something on the sexy side, and En Femme is a wonderful place for day to day clothes.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

Which stores are most friendly to crossdressers? 


June is Pride month and with how many businesses changing their social media profiles to rainbows you’d think EVERYONE loved us.¬† And why wouldn’t they?¬† We’re all so cute.


I can’t speak for every single business out there, but if we look at the major chains (such as the Targets and Walmarts and Starbucks of the world), all of them want our money, and they want people to shop at their stores.¬† Of course no store has a written discrimination policy.¬† It all comes down to training their employees to treat¬†every guest/shopper with great customer service.¬† I can’t imagine any company explicitly writing in their training manual to be rude/mean to members of the LGBTQ+ community.¬†¬†That being said, some companies do more than others to make their shoppers feel more welcome and included than others.¬† A few years ago Target announced that guests at their stores are invited to use the restrooms and fitting rooms that align with their gender identity.¬†

However, does this mean every t-girl and crossdresser will have a trouble-free shopping experience at Target?¬† No.¬† Remember, stores are run by people.¬† Stores are visited by people.¬† Target’s corporate policy seems to be inclusive, but the company’s mission statement can only go so far.¬† Sure, the cashier was trained to provide friendly customer service, but if they hate transpeople¬†there’s a chance they’ll be rude to a girl like us, no matter what Target’s policy is.¬† Same thing with customers.¬† The first time I went out en femme I went to Target and the employees were nice, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a customer or two looked at me in a less than friendly way.

When it comes to a local business, I am a lot more confident I am welcome there if they have a “All Are Welcome Here” sign in their window, or something similar.¬† Businesses in more liberal parts of a city are likely to have more experience with someone from the LGBTQ+ community than a more rural area.¬† And yes I know there is an overly generalized statement and there are exceptions to everything.¬† I wish I I could provide a list of all the stores in the world that are friendly to the LGBTQ+ community but that is impossible.¬† Really the only way you’ll know is if you go there and decide for yourself if they deserve your money.

Related reading

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Alluring T-Girls!

Saturday was the monthly MN T-Girls outing and we enjoyed a night at Allure, an upscale lingerie store for a private shopping party.

This was our third event at Allure and like the previous events the girls had an opportunity to get a bra fitting as well as shop for beautiful lingerie in a safe and supportive store.

I heart my new panties and lingerie and I”m sure you’ll find something there that you like, too!

Love, Hannah

Because I am Not Busy Enough

The most read articles on my website have to do with shopping, to some degree. It could be anything from finding one’s measurements, to how to try on clothes, how to determine your bra size, or simply feeling comfortable and welcomed when it comes to being in a store.

My emails reflect this activity as well. Much of the questions I get are everything from practical (such as the conversion ratio of man shoes to stilettos) to more emotional (like working up the courage to ask the makeup artist about what foundation shade is right for you).

From wigs to nails to makeup to heels to lingerie to skirts to jewelry, shopping for a girl like us can be intimidating, overwhelming, and expensive.

I am considering a new project, in a way. But I need your help.

For those of us who are not ready to hit the mall quite yet, and even for those who do, what kind of store or shopping is the top of your wish list? Is it your dream to get a bra fitting? Or getting help shopping for makeup?

Please let me know in the comments, thank you!

Love, Hannah

Moot Lingerie!

Did you know I love lingerie?

I think by now the entire internet knows that.

I also love businesses that specifically keep girls like us in mind when they design clothes, specifically lingerie.

When I find a designer like that, I do what I can to support them and bring some attention to what they do. I am happy to do this for Moot Lingerie!

From their website:

Moot is FOR EACH and every body who feels that Moot is for them

We stand in solidarity with humans, regardless of gender labels or sexuality. 

Moot will not discriminate on the grounds of anyone’s sexual or gender identity, everyone is equal and everyone is warmly welcomed to Moot

Here are some photos of their lingerie and where you can go to add it to your lingerie drawer!

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

What sort of bra do you recommend and how do you know what size to buy?


-Do you have actual breasts or do you use/wear forms? Just starting to explore and very confused about forms. What is the correct or proper shape to look for, teardrop, oval, triangle, round ? I have yet to find 2 articles supporting the same shape so I’m confused. The one thing I have found that seems to be standard is that silicone has the best feel, movement, bounce, fiber fill & foam don’t so now if I can understand the shape to look for or go with I have a starting point.¬†¬†


Both of these questions bounced into my email within a day of each other and since they are similar I thought I’d tackle them in one post.


I have a LOT of bras.¬† I have bras that I wear en femme, and I have bras that I wear for underdressing.¬† Basically the bras that I wear under my boy clothes are ones without any sort of padding, shape, or push-uppiness.¬† That’s not a word but you know what I mean. Most of these bras come from Xdress and Homme Mystere.


The bras I wear en femme are more varied and more… uh, practical.¬† I have bras that are strapless, I have bras with an embroidered pattern, push up bras, and bras of many colors.


A girl needs a white or beige bra because some outfits and blouses are a LITTLE see through and a black or darker color will show through some tops.¬† I mean, if that’s the look you’re going for, then have at it.¬†¬†


Strapless bras are for strapless dresses, or dresses and tops where the shoulders are see-through or mesh, for example.  


I don’t wear bras with a texture to the cup if I am wearing a tight blouse as the texture can show through.


See?  Lingerie can be practical.  


As for sizing, if you’re not comfortable meeting with a bra fitter, you can take your own measurements.¬† I wear a 34B bra.¬† The number refers to my chest measurement/band size, the letter refers to cup size.¬† A rule of thumb is your band size is your chest measurement and then add four (round up if needed).


Third Love has an EXCELLENT guide for determining your bra size and I would encourage you to take a look as they know more about this then I ever will.

I don’t have breasts but I wear forms.¬† They are not the best quality but they do the job.¬† They are silicone….ish.¬† Not as high quality as my thigh and hip pads from The Breast Form Store and I would agree with what you are reading in that silicone feels better than anything else.¬† My forms have a somewhat similar feel to my silicone pads but I don’t feel my forms are a part of me the same way my thigh pads do.


Shape comes down to personal preference, I think.¬† Breasts come in all shapes and sizes so I don’t think there is such a thing as the correct shape.¬† I would spend some time looking at The Breast Form Store‘s website and chatting with one of their fitters (Hi Eden!) for some guidance in finding forms that you feel are the right ones.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Ask Hannah!

What is the dress size i should wear? and skirt size? I am a 28 waist.

Sizing is one of the more frustrating parts of building a wardrobe  The truth is you will never know what size you truly are.  It depends on the store.  Some stores think I am a size 20 (I don ‘t shop there anymore), most stores think I am a size 12.  I own many dresses from Dress Barn and most of them are size 12 and they fit perfectly but there are the random size 12s from Dress Barn that don’t fit.  It’s super fun.


Knowing your measurements is the best way to shop.  The “boy clothes” to “girl clothes” conversion isn’t linear, it’s a stupid arbitrary and random mess.  Generally speaking it’s about a one size up translation.  In boy t-shirts I am a medium, for femme t-shirts I am a large.  Sometimes.  In some cases I am x-large, mostly due to my shoulders.  You can’t always use your boy sizes as a guide because a boy shirt is different than a dress.  A boy shirt is mainly about chest width, but a dress is bust AND waist.  Some of my dresses zip up perfectly around my hips and waist but have a hard time going beyond my bust because my shoulders are a little wider than my middle.  It’s not at all humbling.

Find a measuring tape (not the tool kit kind, the ribbon kind) and take your measurements for different parts of your body:
-Waist measured at your belly button
-Bust measured at nipple height with or without forms/padding
-Chest measurement taken just under pectoral muscle (2 to 3 inches below nipple)


The whole small/medium/large sizing is not helpful at all.  If I am shopping and I see a dress is a medium, it probably won’t fit.  Most places seem to think a medium is a size 8-10.  If a dress is sized large it *probably* will fit as large seems to be 12-14.  


If you are buying online look at the store’s sizing chart to see what they use to determine how they size their clothes.  If you are shopping on Amazon look at EVERY size chart before you buy.  Since Amazon sells clothes from a lot of different retailers there will be just as many size charts as there are options.  Don’t use the Amazon size chart, use the designer’s size chart.  Reading the comments and reviews is also helpful.  Often times people will mention if the outfit runs small or large, or true to size.  The most helpful reviewers will provide their own size and give feedback on whether or not the sizing chart is accurate or waaaay off.  


Shopping is very trial and error.  It’s one reason I say that crossdressing takes time, money, and patience.


Love, Hannah  

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!