Ask Hannah!

Hi!
I need help figuring out identification. I’m 32 male, my sexual preference is women, and but I’ve developed, investigated and developed a love for cross dressing. It started as a sexual fantasy but I’m wanting to make it more apart of my life. I don’t how to tell people the identity of this…I don’t feel it’s trans because that feels like there is an end goal, to full be something other than your pre chosen gender. And Crossdressing no, uses that term anymore. I don’t think I fit it in to the LGBTQ+ community….help I’ve been at this crossroads for years to figure what this identity is.
PS I do feel it needs to be identified because it doesn’t feel valid without

Hi!

Everything I am about to type is strictly my perspective. No one is an authority on gender identity and no one can tell you how to identify.

We good?

Okay, I don’t think your sexual preference has anything to do with what you wear. So, I think you can stop taking that into consideration when it comes to your gender identity.

Transgender doesn’t have to have an end goal. I don’t think any gender identity has to have an end goal. I used to feel that identifying as transgender HAD to include transitioning but my perspective on the T word has broadened in recent years.

Many of us still use the term crossdresser as a way to identify. It’s actually a great word, in my opinion. Unfortunately it has been misrepresented in media over time and has influenced many people to associate the term with fetishism. Not that there’s anything wrong with crossdressing as a fetish, but movies and the like have almost exclusively portrayed “a man who wears panties” as a pervert, so it’s not a surprise that “a man who wears panties” are painted with that brush.

Personally I think you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, based on my definition of the T of LGBTQ+. I feel that almost everything in the world is genderized, whether it’s a color preference, a career, a feeling, or clothes. If you, as a man, like to wear clothes that society thinks are “for girls”, then you may be transgender… as how I define it. Remember, transgender has nothing to do with transitioning. It might for some, but it doesn’t have to. I am happily transgender and I have zero plans to transition.

Let’s break down this down into two INCREDIBLY simplified options:

1. Are you a boy that likes to wear girl clothes?
2. Do you feel that gender norms are silly and someone should be able to wear what they want?

Essentially, do you feel that what you wear is interwoven into your gender identity? Or are you comfortable BEING A MAN but A MAN who likes to wear panties?

If you feel that your clothing preference and your gender identity are tangled up with each other, you might be non-binary.

If you are a boy that wears girl clothes and you’ve never felt uncomfortable identifying as a man, then, well, I think you might be a crossdresser.

But again, this is all my perspective and no one should tell you who are you are. Life is fluid. Identity is fluid. It’s perfectly normal for someone to change how they identify over the course of their life and journey. Don’t overthink this, you don’t need a label to be validated.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!