I don’t aspire to “pass”. As time progresses I become less sure of what that even means.
I mean, I know what it means, but I suppose the parameters of passing become sillier and less defined.
For some, passing means being of a certain height.
Okay, fair enough. But what is considered to be too tall to be femme? Like, specifically? The reason I ask is that there are very tall cisgender women in the world, and some are taller than me.
Others think passing means a certain facial shape or a certain body shape. Again, what are those shapes specifically?
Some people think a certain shoe size is relevant to passing. That’s ridiculous. Shoes are available in many sizes. They wouldn’t make a size 16 shoe if some women didn’t wear a size 16 shoe.
When one realizes certain guidlelines are arbirtrary, then the goal of passing becomes less important and attainable. And besides, who makes decides these things? Who makes the decision about what is feminine and what is not?
My femme goals do not include meeting someone else’s standards or winning their approval. The last thing I think about when I strut out into the real world is if some random person thinks I am too tall or too anything to be feminine.
Of course, even if I believed in passing and aspired to, I know I don’t pass. I have too many physical attributes that although many cisgender women have, signal to the world that I probably was not assigned male at birth.
I know I am clocked. I am clocked all the time. I expect someone to see me and know that I am transgender. And that’s totally fine. I am transgender. Good for them. I am who I am and I am very proud of that.
My femme goal each time I go out is to be happy with how I look and how I feel. I aspire to be as cute as possible. Thanks to my amazing makeup artist this is usually not hard. The devil works hard, but my makeup artist works harder. When I feel cute, that feeling turns into confidence and happiness which in turn impacts how I walk and interact with others.
I am not a very social person but I try to be friendly. Small talk isn’t one of my talents but I can fake it. One of the more common things people say to me is “wow, you’re tall!” and they’re right. I am tall. I am a little over six feet but the stilettos I wear just add to that. And yes, wearing four inch heels doesn’t help me blend in, but why would I want to do that? I don’t think it’s possible for me to blend in completely. I am tall and I am wearing a dress in a world of sweatpants. If I am going to stand out, I may as well REALLY not stand out.
And God, I love being tall. I used to hate it but the confidence I radiate when I walk through a mall being a foot taller than others is intense. I have embraced my height and if I am going to be tall, I may as well be REALLY tall.
I was spending the afternoon window shopping last weekend and some guy quickened his pace to catch up with me. He had to work hard because girl these legs are looooong lol. When he did, he turned to me and said “wow, you’re tall!”. He seemed friendly and sincere. I turned my head and responded the same way I always do when I hear that.
“Thank you, it’s the heels.” as I point to my stilettos.
And the guy blinked and said “Oh! Your voice!” and then ducked into the first store he saw.
Obviously I have no idea what was up with that, but my guess is that once I spoke he realized that I was not cisgender. I don’t think I have a particularly masculine voice, I mean, if you have watched any of the videos I’ve posted you know what I sound like. I don’t try to modify my voice in a significant way but I suppose if I had to describe it I would say that I “lighten” it a bit?
After he scurried into a store I realized that I “passed” until my voice “gave me away”. I don’t think this guy was necessarily transphobic or anything, but I suppose he wasn’t expecting that I was transgender.
I wasn’t offended by this at all. In fact, it’s pretty funny to think about.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
I suspect you “pass” far more frequently than you think. You have great legs and with your shapewear a very attractive figure. Even your face is more feminine than you probably think it is.
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I have been corresponding with other cross dressers/ non-binary, transgender folks ever since I joined Tri-Ess over thirty years ago. Many of us felt that long attractive legs were our best feature. Your assessment of your makeup artist’s skill is correct. You are always more than cute. When you are out and about you are very attractive en femme. Keep it up. lol Pippin
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I love the graphic Hannah. Now if we can just get you to stand over Tokyo and go head to head with Godzilla!
Passing for us is the same as being pretty or beautiful in the cisgender world. I am sure the concept dates back thousands of years to when the world was ruled by kings and queens. A way to distinguish royalty from commoners. It’s all hog wash. Beauty is beneath the skin and shines outwards
Nadine
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I was actually thinking about this a few days ago… specifically about YOU, Hannah!
I agree with you that I’m not a big fan of “passing” because, from what I’ve seen, it’s too subjective. I care less about how I look to others and more about how I FEEL in my own skin, and what I think when I see myself in the mirror.
That being said, as someone who has come out for MN T-Girls events and done photoshoots with you, I genuinely CANNOT picture you as a guy… at all! I see nothing but a beautiful woman when I see you. Sure, you may be tall, have a lower than typically feminine voice, or whatever may cause dysphoria (or not… I’m not sure if dysphoria is something that you experience), but none of that screams “man” about you! To be honest, if I ran into “Guy Hannah” at a Target/Cafe/The Airport/etc, I don’t think I’d be able to recognize you, and so, to me, whatever your objective for your look is (passing, feeling beautiful, not looking ambiguous in your gender presentation, etc), you are easily meeting your objective!
The reason why I was thinking about you specifically was because at least a handful of T-Girl “Influencers” I follow, including myself, will share how they look in “guy mode” (either via a “transformation Tuesday” post, a “before and after” post, or even just a “let me show you my ‘getting into girl mode’ process”), and while I think there are positives to that (for me, it makes my femininity feel more valid when I see someone who, in my opinion, is a knockout en femme, having that “5 o clock shadow,” or “less feminine look” showing because it reminds me when I see myself in the mirror that I still am a beautiful woman), I also appreciate folx like you who have sort of nailed the “you’ll only see Hannah in full Hannah mode” because it would be hard to imagine you not in Hannah mode.
TL;DR, you are friggen beautiful!!!! ❤
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Pass? Oh, lord, I wish! I am a mature trannie named Roxanne, and I wish I had passed! I wish I had a man, a husband, who loved the strange person I am now! I wish I could be the Lady to a sweet man; the wife I want to be!
Roxanne Lanyon
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Passing is a goal many of us girls have, but once you get passed it like you Hannah that most of us don’t then it frees you up to just be you and enjoy being a women out there among the normals lol
I know it helped me a lot to stop worrying if I did instead I just went out smiled to others and went about my business as it should be
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Being relatively tall myself @ 6’2”, I am often several inches taller than the women and men in my vicinity. I am probably more conscious of this when em femme, but haven’t let that keep me from wearing heels when the outfit and circumstances called for heels. Despite this I am often taken to be a woman, at least for a while. I don’t go out with the expectation of passing, but it is nice to when anyone makes that assumption for however long it lasts.
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it’s the shoes, love and they are fabulous! ( and so are you as always!)
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