I have a new article for The Breast Form Store!
I get emails once in a while from, well, emailers (who else would they be from??) who seem to be terrified of non-binary terminology.
“I wear panties but I am afraid I might be a crossdresser” is a pretty common one. Well, yes, in my opinion, someone assigned male at birth who loves wearing panties is crossdressing.
I am never really sure why labels frighten some of us but I think a lot of the fear comes from potential implications that are associated with certain terms.
To be clear, one does not have to identify as anything. Some of us find it comforting to know that they are not alone and that there are so many others like themselves that there is a word for their community.
But labels can also feel confinining and limiting. When I was younger I was completely at peace with identifying as a crossdresser. But in my late teens I learned how much crossdressing and fetishism overlapped, I wasn’t so sure. There seemed to be a prevalent sexualism entwined with this aspect of myself. But for me, there was nothing arousing about my love of “girl clothes”.
After that discovery, “crossdresser” didn’t really seem to fit as I was under the impression that crossdressing and kink went hand in hand.
Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with crossdressing as a fetish.
I understand a little why some of us are frightened by the potential of identifying as transgender. After all, we are being blamed for a lot of horrific things right now and to most, a transgender person is someone who has/is/will transition.
But identifying as transgender doesn’t mean one must transition, or have HRT, or change their legal gender and/or name. It can, but it doesn’t have to.
All of that seems (and is) a lot of work. And these steps will likely fundamentally change every aspect of one’s life, including their relationships. Because of that, I can understand why that seems scary and overwhelming. We rarely completely change every aspect of our life, and transitioning likely would do so.
Living your life the way feels right usually leads you to feeling more fulfilled. What it takes to get there isn’t always easy, though. Even when we know that a change, regardless of what that change is, will be beneficial, the path to that change can be intimidating.
I suppose my point here is that there are many ways to identify. These terms tend to be, well, open to interpretation. It’s up to YOU to decide what crossdressing (or any other term) means and it’s up to you to decide if that word describes you.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
Terminology seems to be a big problem in our culture right now. If I say I am a conservative or a progressive, or transgender, many people immediately begin to fill in the blanks with their preconceived notions of what that means. The only way we can fight back against this is to demonstrate that they are mistaken. Otherwise the negative stereotype created by those intent on villainizing us will remain.
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For much of my life, I feared that if I gave in to the temptation to dress completely in feminine attire, it would inevitably slide down the slippery slope towards transition. And in my (ex)wife, cross dressing seemed tolerable so long as it could be rationalized as a fetish or harmless kink.
For whatever reason, I somewhat overcame the fear of descending down the slippery slope, and to be honest, I learned absolutely loved dressing and going out into the world as an admittedly masculine woman. But despite almost entirely positive experiences, I still live primarily as a male. I don’t really bother to label myself. I just am.
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I think labels help people feel comfortable, especially with something they are uncomfortable with or unfamiliar with. Also, sometimes, it can help us find like-minded people who are into similar things. So, I know sometimes we fear labels and the way we can sometimes be pigeon holder with them, but they can also help find common ground.
One that I mention a lot was a line guys used to use a lot. “I’m 100% totally straight, but I’d have sex with you.” I think these guys thought this was a compliment, but they didn’t realize that first of all, it wasn’t true. If they knew I was a guy under the clothes, then they were not 100% totally straight. I’d point this out and they response was almost universally “I’m not gay”. That doesn’t mean you have to be gay, maybe your bi, or something else. But clearly they had some fear of the labels.
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