Pillow Talk!

Hi! I have a new article for Pillow Talk, a series I am doing with Xdress!

I think that people tend to engage in a new hobby/interest in two different ways.

And yes, that includes the grossly over simplistic “men wearing girl clothes”.

One way is slowly and methodically testing the waters. Feeling the temperature of the pool with your toe and then carefully easing your way in.

The other is just fucking cannonballing into the deep end without a second thought.

We get to one of these two once we do these three things:

1. Acknowledge that there is *something* about feminine clothes that triggers a thought, a feeling, a longing, and/or confusion inside of us
2. Accepting that we want to, and we do wear feminine clothes
3. Embrace that this is who we are and we love this aspect of ourselves

Once we allow ourselves to love what we love, then we are at the edge of the pool and we’re either wading in or again, just fucking cannonballing it.

Which one is the correct reaction? Neither. Both. I don’t know. But let’s discuss.

The Pros of Wading In

-This tends to be the more fiscally responsible approach. Instead of just buying whatever we want to wear, we take our time to take our measurements so we have a better chance of buying an outfit that actually fits. Clothing sizes, especially for women’s clothes, are arbitrary and have little consistency from brand to brand. Wading into this world will also likely mean looking into different options for wigs and breast forms as well. These items are investments and yes, it’s easier on our bank account to buy the cheapest of, well, ANYTHING, but a quality wig will last longer and look better. This approach helps with selecting the right items and reducing the risk of buying clothes that just don’t fit.

The Cons of Wading In

-Paralysis of analysis. We spent so much time (over)thinking about this that we never do anything. We research different styles and sizes and stores as we look for the perfect outfit and the perfect, accepting shopping experience. Of course we all want to buy our clothes from a store that will give us a pleasant experience, but there’s never a guarantee that the clerk working that day will be friendly towards the LGBTQ+ community. Or friendly in general. Store employees have bad days, too. Perhaps they just got yelled at by another customer because of something that was out of their control and that interaction just kind of set the tone for the day. We’ve all been there.

The Pros of Cannonballing

-Immersing yourself in anything and everything femme. You are learning by doing. What’s your style? Who cares! Just buy everything you want and discover what you like. Maybe you will like the office girl look with a satin blouse and a pencil skirt but you won’t know unless you buy a satin blouse and a pencil skirt. Maybe you are more of a glam girl but you won’t know until you glam it up.

The Cons of Cannonballing

-Girl, you are BROKE

Love, Hannah