Ghosting

Now that it’s officially spooky season, let’s talk about ghosting.

I get a lot of emails from those like us and partners of people like us, and some emails you can really tell they are really struggling. Struggling with this aspect of themselves or struggling with this aspect of their significant other.

I reply as best and as gentle as I can, mostly focusing on how what they are feeling is valid and is okay. It seems like there is a lot of shame the writer is feeling.

But then I’ll get a notification that the reply didn’t go through. My guess is that the writer used a fake email address but had to write to SOMEONE and express how they were feeling, even if they knew they were not going to get a response. It’s also possible they deactivated their account to erase any evidence of their email.

Listen.

I understand and can relate and empathize to so many of you. I talk to so many people who are experiencing what I felt and what my wife felt. I am not an expert in anything, but if there’s something I’d like everyone to know is that please don’t feel ashamed of yourself when it comes to all of this.

Typically when we feel ashamed it means we just need support.

No matter if you are realizing that your gender identity or what you want to wear is a little different than what you are “supposed” to feel or wear, or if your partner is learning new aspects of themselves, you are not alone. This is a safe place.

Love, Hannah