I have been crossdressing in my mind since I was 15. I am now 45. I have been in clothes from time to time. I have been I a relationship for 8 months and I have told her everything. She is totally on board and thinks this will be really fun. I have never had any support and of course she doesn’t know where we should begin. We both agree we aren’t ready to hit dressing rooms to find my clothes. The thing I’m struggling with is my size. I’m 6’1 and 260. Definitely not a feminine figure but we want to get the ball rolling. My dream is to get to wear skirts and blouses. Can you help us out with this?
Congratulations on taking this step! I am very excited for you, and I am very happy you were upfront and honest in your relationship.
Just a reminder, that there is no standard you must meet in order to be feminine. No one is too tall, too short, too thin, too masculine, too… anything, to be beautiful. Being comfortable and happy with who you are has more to do with how you feel than with how you look. We all know women, whether they are cis or trans, who are all shapes and sizes and every single one of us is drop-dead gorgeous.
And you are too.
When you are ready to start building your wardrobe, you’ll find that determining your measurements is the most important thing you can know.
When I purchase “male” clothes (please note I don’t think there are such a thing as “male” clothes or “female” clothes, they’re just clothes), I purchase shirts that fit my shoulders and pants that are long enough and are the proper waist size. It’s pretty straightforward. Dresses are a different story. I have dresses that fit perfectly around my hips and waist, but don’t fit my shoulders and chest as I am wider on top than my middle. And of course every dressmaker has different sizing standards, as well. When shopping, you need to know your measurements, and yes, sometimes it is a flip of the coin when it comes to deciding to order based off of hips or waist measurements.
And remember, as the two embark on this… (ugh), journey, and it IS a journey, no matter how much I hate that word, you will both feel different things at different times and it is easy to let this overwhelm someone. I write a lot about relationships on this site, but if you take anything from my writing, just be worth it and beware the fog.