How did you get comfortable enough to be public and how did you meet people who are accepting? Should I keep it a secret from employers and is there some kind of protection against some sort of discrimination?
For a very long time I was scared to go out in public Safety and being recognized were two concerns, but another was that I wasn’t able to “pass”. But I had an epiphany one day and I realized that I am the only one who matters when it comes to how I feel about myself. What do I care if someone else thinks I “pass” or that I am beautiful enough? It led me to realize that there are no standards I must meet to be a girl and there is no such thing as passing.
As for meeting people who are accepting, starting the MN T-Girls was a big part of that. You can also find support at a local PFLAG meeting.
As for coming out to anyone, be it a family member or an employer, it’s important to think it through. You should consider why you want to come out to them and why you feel they need to know. You can’t unring a bell, after all.
As for protection against discrimination… well, that could change very soon. In some states someone can be fired for LGBTQ+, so check your state’s laws. You also should look at the employer’s policy when it comes to inclusion.
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
My latest blog for En Femme is now online!
This article discusses how to prepare coming out to someone, specifically your partner. This is never an easy conversation and it’s impossible to predict how it will go, but I hope that this is helpful!
Fifteen years ago I identified as a crossdresser. I still do, I suppose, but I prefer t-girl. I think bi-gender might be a more fitting label, however all these titles fall under identifying as transgender, in my opinion.
Regardless, I went from strictly underdressing to, well, who I am today. I still underdress, but as I started to add makeup and clothes that weren’t panties and lingerie, I wanted to look as good as I could in dresses and pencil skirts. I never thought I would want to wear padding or shape enhancers, but I have been completely won over with my Jolie Thigh Pads from the Breast Form Store. The look is amazing, and feeling my curvier shape is incredible. I look more natural when I wear them, as seen in the photo below.
I have worn corsets in the past and I have always loved how sexy they looked, but I wasn’t wearing them for the practical purpose of obtaining a more hourglass look or a trimmer waist. That changed when I received my Dita Corset from Glamorous Corset a few months ago. Pairing the corset with my thigh pads and breast forms achieves a shapelier look beyond anything I could have hoped for.
Seasoning a corset takes time and dedication. I got used to wearing it in male mode, but like underdressing, I was always conscious of it being visible under my clothes. The lacy edging of my panties or my bra strap is one thing, but a corset is a little different.
Glamorous Corset is here to help with some tips for ‘stealthing’, basically how to wear a corset in public. I thought this would be helpful for those of us who underdress in male mode. It certainly was helpful to me.
Next week the United States Supreme Court will begin to weigh a decision that will have a huge and significant impact on the transgender community.
According to The Guardian’s story on Aimee Stephens:
After years of mixed decisions in lower courts the justices must decide whether or not sex is a defining factor when LGBTQ people are protected from discrimination at work by the Civil Rights Act, the landmark 1964 legislation that outlaws discrimination based on race, colour, religion, sex, or national origin.
Stephens’ case is one of three discrimination cases involving LGBTQ individuals that the court will hear on 8 October and the first supreme court case involving the civil rights of transgender people.
…Lack of legal protections has unfairly affected the trans community for too long, said Kaplan. At its heart, he says, Stephens’ case is very simple and should offer more protection in future. Title VII of the Civil Rights Act prevents people from being discriminated against on the grounds of sex. And that definition should include sexual orientation and identity, he argues. “The definition of being transgender is someone who identifies differently from the sex assigned to them at birth. If the motivation for firing somebody is because they’re transgender, it’s motivated by sex. It’s sex discrimination. It’s right there,” he said.
The ramifications of the case could stretch far beyond the LGBTQ community. In 1989 the supreme court found Price Waterhouse guilty of sex discrimination when it denied a partnership to Ann Hopkins, a manager who was deemed too aggressive and “manly” in her behavior and in need of a “course in charm school” according to one of her bosses. Kaplan worries that a ruling against Stephens could support discrimination against people of any gender who don’t conform to their employer’s stereotypes.
It’s sad and scary to think that our basic rights are being determined by our gender identity, but here we are.