T-Girl Survival Guide


The most read part of this website is “A Beginner’s Guide to Crossdressing” and to be honest that makes me so happy.  The point of this site is to provide resources and help to girls like us.  I try to be helpful and offer advice when and where I can.  I think one of my strengths is offering a perspective on identifying as anything but cisgender when it comes to how we see ourselves and how we move through our lives and through the world.  For example, I can’t do anything about how tall some of us are, but I can remind us that no one is too tall to be femme.  

When it comes to stepping out en femme, I am only too happy to share my experiences in regards to facing the world.  I started to think the other day that most of my adventures have been, for the most part, either positive or at least uneventful.  And honestly, anyone can have a good experience en femme when the rest of the world (or the mall) doesn’t really care or notice a girl like us.  Most of the time things go right and we all move on with our lives.

For many of us this side of us is a secret.  We not only are scared that someone will recognize us, we are also terrified someone will see the panties hidden in our dresser drawer or our browser history.  We protect ourselves, or more accurately, we protect her at any cost.  

We are paranoid and terrified when it comes to the beautiful side of who we are. 

Again, almost all of my outings have been uneventful, but what happens when we are en femme and things don’t go smoothly?  What happens if someone accidentally sees our femme Facebook account?  What about getting a flat tire when we are out?  When I am in boy mode and things go wrong I just handle it.  If I have car problems I call a tow truck.  If I saw a friend of mine while dining out I would say hello.  But if these things happen when I am en femme then it’s completely different.  Things will go wrong and I feel mostly prepared for problems that likely won’t happen, but I am terrified about car problems when I am en femme.  The last thing I want to do is watch some tow truck driver hoist my car onto his truck and offer me a ride back to the shop.  I mean, I know it’s not much different than interacting with a barista or a salesclerk, but when I am en femme I choose how I spend my day and who I interact with, no one really plans on chatting up mechanics as they tell you that your alignment or whatever is messed up.

But these things happen, and they will happen.  Sure I can change a tire but I am not doing it in stilettos and a LBD.  Yes, I’ve gone to the emergency room but never after a makeover.  If these things happen to me you can be certain I will write about it, but they (knock on wood) haven’t. 

Really, the scariest thing that happened to me was at Pride a few years ago when the wind caused a tent to flip over which hit me on the head and I was treated by the EMTs.  I still have the scar, but thankfully it’s the only scar (physical, emotional, and mental) I have related to being out en femme.
But I’m sure things have happened to others.

I would like your help in putting together somewhat of a survival guide.  And I know that sounds a little extreme but it’s the best way I can describe it.  If you have had a negative (or frustrating or terrifying or even a funny) experience out en femme, how did you handle it?  How did others respond?  If you had something happen, something other than pleasant or uneventful, I would love to read (and post) your experience on this site.

Some of the things I have in mind:

-Car problems (or getting pulled over)

-Being recognized en femme

-Your social media page being discovered-Someone seeing your bra strap when you are in boy mode

-Flying pretty

-“Getting caught”

-Trying on heels at the mall in boy mode

-Anything else that you might helpful

Please send me an email (hannahgotta@gmail.com) with the subject line “T-Girl Survival Guide” and I’ll be happy to share it with others.


Love, Hannah

4 thoughts on “T-Girl Survival Guide

  1. I didn’t have to think long about this. I have had two incidents involving vehicles…once a flat tire on a uhaul trailer, the other a cracked distributor. In both cases I was traveling between Texas and Minnesota (different trips) and both times I had to rely on the kindness of strangers…well, actually the GM dealership in an Oklahoma town just north of Muskogee and the other, a U-haul contract service shop in Witchita. Both times I was full, casual woman-mode and in both cases I was accorded total courtesy and consideration.


  2. Two Experiences (sorry for being so long):

    The first time I flew pretty was a six hour flight. At the airline the desk woman looked at my drivers licence and ticket (in my male name). She just smiled and wished me a good flight. At TSA the gentleman checking IDs smiled and commented that he liked my new glasses and what I had done with my hair! I had packed my breast forms in my carry-on anticipating they might trigger the body scanner. At the last minute my line was diverted to the metal scanner. They pulled me aside to check my carry-on. I had expected them to pull out my forms but the woman pulled out a large bag of trail mix I was packing. She also rooted around and squeezed a couple things still in the bag and nodded to her partner at the inspection stand for something. Then they just smiled and wished me a good flight.

    The other experience was at our local Pride Fest in 2019. My boss at the time played in a blues band that turned out to be part of the entertainment for the day. I was walking through the crowd with a T-girl friend who suddenly steered us over to a group of people to say hi to a friend. The group included my boss. When he was introduced he said “man, you look really familiar”. I replied I just had one of those faces. On Monday at work he asked me about my weekend. I told him I had gone fishing out of town. He smiled and told me they had a really good show at Pride. I don’t know if he recognized me and was being polite or if I pulled it off but he never said anything about it again.


  3. Recalling my first experience going out ‘en femme’, while living in Maryland, I decided one night to ditch the pants, do what I thought at the time as a great makeup job and make a trip to Montgomery Ward’s for some shopping roughly a twenty mile drive from home. Not even ten minutes in the store, this little kid points at me and says “Mommy Look, that lady has a beard”! Well mommy grabbed her child’s hand and did a bee line out the store suggesting I might have leprosy or something. Needless to say that killed my psyche for the rest of the night and I left the store almost as quickly as they did. On the drive home, who would have figured I would drive right into a State Police sobriety check point! Being dark out, guess the trooper didn’t notice the beard like the kid did. Bottom line, I survived.


  4. I used to attend Alliance gatherings once a month for a really good time socializing with other gals. We met at a Church function hall. This particular month, I didn’t get the memo and walked right into a parish fellowship function. I guess I did a better job with my makeup because those folks welcomed me with open arms and invited me to join them. The food spread was great too.


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