The most read part of this website is “A Beginner’s Guide to Crossdressing” and to be honest that makes me so happy. The point of this site is to provide resources and help to girls like us. I try to be helpful and offer advice when and where I can. I think one of my strengths is offering a perspective on identifying as anything but cisgender when it comes to how we see ourselves and how we move through our lives and through the world. For example, I can’t do anything about how tall some of us are, but I can remind us that no one is too tall to be femme.
When it comes to stepping out en femme, I am only too happy to share my experiences in regards to facing the world. I started to think the other day that most of my adventures have been, for the most part, either positive or at least uneventful. And honestly, anyone can have a good experience en femme when the rest of the world (or the mall) doesn’t really care or notice a girl like us. Most of the time things go right and we all move on with our lives.
For many of us this side of us is a secret. We not only are scared that someone will recognize us, we are also terrified someone will see the panties hidden in our dresser drawer or our browser history. We protect ourselves, or more accurately, we protect her at any cost.
We are paranoid and terrified when it comes to the beautiful side of who we are.
Again, almost all of my outings have been uneventful, but what happens when we are en femme and things don’t go smoothly? What happens if someone accidentally sees our femme Facebook account? What about getting a flat tire when we are out? When I am in boy mode and things go wrong I just handle it. If I have car problems I call a tow truck. If I saw a friend of mine while dining out I would say hello. But if these things happen when I am en femme then it’s completely different. Things will go wrong and I feel mostly prepared for problems that likely won’t happen, but I am terrified about car problems when I am en femme. The last thing I want to do is watch some tow truck driver hoist my car onto his truck and offer me a ride back to the shop. I mean, I know it’s not much different than interacting with a barista or a salesclerk, but when I am en femme I choose how I spend my day and who I interact with, no one really plans on chatting up mechanics as they tell you that your alignment or whatever is messed up.
But these things happen, and they will happen. Sure I can change a tire but I am not doing it in stilettos and a LBD. Yes, I’ve gone to the emergency room but never after a makeover. If these things happen to me you can be certain I will write about it, but they (knock on wood) haven’t.
Really, the scariest thing that happened to me was at Pride a few years ago when the wind caused a tent to flip over which hit me on the head and I was treated by the EMTs. I still have the scar, but thankfully it’s the only scar (physical, emotional, and mental) I have related to being out en femme.
But I’m sure things have happened to others.
I would like your help in putting together somewhat of a survival guide. And I know that sounds a little extreme but it’s the best way I can describe it. If you have had a negative (or frustrating or terrifying or even a funny) experience out en femme, how did you handle it? How did others respond? If you had something happen, something other than pleasant or uneventful, I would love to read (and post) your experience on this site.
Some of the things I have in mind:
-Car problems (or getting pulled over)
-Being recognized en femme
-Your social media page being discovered-Someone seeing your bra strap when you are in boy mode
-Trying on heels at the mall in boy mode
-Anything else that you might helpful
Please send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) with the subject line “T-Girl Survival Guide” and I’ll be happy to share it with others.