Ask Hannah!

It appears to me that when you venture out, you are always wearing a dress and heels. Now, I love dresses and heels as much as the next woman but if the objective is to “blend in”, well, most women in this country are somewhat overweight and belong to the jeans and sneakers crowd unless they’re quite young.

Here in Las Vegas, which has the highest per capita number of transwomen in the U.S., you rarely see dresses and heels unless going to one of the many dance clubs on The Strip.

My advice as a transwoman has always been to “blend in” and not stand out. Too many non-trans crossdressers tend to dress as how they would like a girlfriend or a wife to dress which is strictly a “garter belt, stockings and stilettos” fantasy.

Oh, well. That’s just my nickel’s worth. Not at all trying to be critical, just curious.

I will absolutely acknowledge that most femme-presenting and most cis women do not wear heels or dresses whenever they go out.  Of course, at the same time, most masculine presenting people and cis men aren’t wearing wingtip shoes and neckties each and every time they are out of the house either.  

And I totally get it.  Leggings, cardigans, hoodies… are comfy.  And they can be super cute.  When Hannah goes out, it’s because she is going to do something FUN.  Shopping, dinner with friends, going to a play… Hannah doesn’t run errands.  The boy run errands, gets the oil changed, goes to doctor appointments.  When I do these things I am looking to be comfortable and don’t invest toooo much time and energy into my appearance.  I might be in a t-shirt and haven’t shaved for a few days.  I don’t need to look my best when I pick up a prescription.  I am not a slob nor do I look disheveled, I just… look like someone who is running errands. 

Hannah dresses to the nines because it’s FUN.  Part of what makes it fun is that I don’t dress up (at least not completely) more than a couple of times a month.  It’s not uncommon for me to tighten my corset, attach my stockings, apply false eyelashes, and fasten my heels and think to myself that part of me is glad I don’t have to do this *everyday*.  Of course, a girl doesn’t NEED to wear a corset and stockings everyday but again, I dress the way I do because it’s fun.  If I were to transition or live full-time I can’t imagine I would wear heels and dresses every day.

I dress for myself.  I believe most women do as well which is why I think most girls are wearing whatever they damn well want when they go to the mall.  I mean, isn’t that why it’s fun to be a girl?  At least part of it?  Crossdressers, t-girls, non-binary people all want (and should be allowed) to wear whatever they please.  

I know I could dress down a little to blend in.  I know a girl, any girl, wearing stilettos and a cute dress and knock-them-dead eyeliner is going to stand out.  But I dress for myself.  I am not tying to blend in.  I don’t think I can.  Sure, wearing flats (ew) and jeans would HELP me blend in, but as a six foot tall trans girl I am always going to stand out.  Since I know I will never truly blend in I may as well dress how I want.  I’ll wear the stilettos, I’ll wear the leather skirt, I’ll wear the bright pink dress as I wait in line at the coffee shop.  

Love, Hannah

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5 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!

  1. I personally do dress to blend and for me it’s what works best since yes I am trans non binary and fluid
    So when I do dress full en fem I want to do my best not to stand out to much.
    Like you Hannah I’m tall so will stand out heels or not but if I’m just in jeans or leggings I feel better about my presentation
    Yes it’s great to have many options as a girl and it makes it fun

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Great response to the question, When I go out to the mall or to run errands If I dress it is to blend flats jeans conservative make up (I’m quite liberal) But if I am going to a drag club or any club were t-girls are accepted its heels and short skirt and a little, ok a lot more fancy. Hannah you’re right your cross dressing is for FUN not for changing the oil. I’ve tried to do regulars things like cleaning the garage or mowing the lawn while dressed, jeans and sneakers, It wasn’t fun Its not fun in guy mode either, I only cross dress for FUN and if its not FUN don’t do it. So lets keep things FUN!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think the essence is “what is the object?” before I transitioned I wanted to make the most of my opportunities to dress, like you I would be doing something fun, going out to lunch, an exhibition or a concert so the dressing was part of the fun, part of making it a special occasion. These would also be events where others might also be dressed up a bit. Once I started my transition I soon found that my wardrobe lacked a lot of the basic staples, like jeans, tee shirts, sweaters, trainers etc.

    I had to quickly make up for their absence, these days I will only be in a dress and heels for those occasions when other women will be, the rest of the time I am more casual ~ just like any other woman of my age ~ For many years now I have been in the habit before going out of checking myself in a full length mirror and asking myself two questions “Can I go to Tesco’s (supermarket) dressed like this?” and “Will I frighten the horses?” ~ after Mrs Patrick Campbell’s quote about gay men “I don’t care what they do as long as they don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses!” If the answer is Yes, and No then I’, OK; if the answer is No and Yes then I’ll get changed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 1-I find that I always over dress a BIT-but that is my style and I’m sticking with it
    2-I’m 6 ft and from my experience there are many younger cis girls the same height so I don’t think that is a concern anymore

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This one hit me a little hard, TBH. To me, part of what I’m trying to embrace in being trans is learning to not care about what “everyone else does,” and just focus on doing what I like and what makes me feel like Alicia. Personally, I don’t care if “women aren’t wearing dresses anymore,” because I’ll still wear one if I want to. I don’t care if I stand out because, frankly, I’m not going to pass anyway. Transitioning is about bursting out of the box I was kept in for the past 36 years, and I’d be damned if I’m just forced into another one.

    That being said, I also know what’s practical and what works… I’m actually going to start working en femme this year, and while I won’t stick with jeans and sneakers, I also don’t plan on wearing garters, stilettos, and cocktail gowns either. I’ve got a lineup of cute, but comfortable dresses, a few skirts (pencil, flare, and slightly longer than knee), short sleeve blouses, cardigans, and a few more professional looking dresses. I’ve also got some Mary Janes, modest pumps, and a bunch of boots at my disposal. I’d say my style is somewhat based on what I like seeing others wear, but also what I find cute on myself.

    Liked by 4 people

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