I really enjoy reading your website and remember back when you included
your drawings about your life and observations in the trans world.
I’d love to see and read those again, did you publish a collection?
They brought a new, unique and wonderful perspective on many of the joys and challenges we all face.
Before I started this website, alllll the way back in August of 2016, I had another site where on a daily basis I posted a quick illustration of whatever I was thinking about.
I had a lot of fun doing these but they were time consuming. As my life/lives got busier, I found it harder to make time for these illustrations. After four years I decided to stop doing them. I am touched when someone says how much they enjoyed them and I always feel bad that I stopped.
Every once in a while I think about doing them again but my life/lives are still busy and I think the quality of the drawings would not be up to my standards. I think I made the right choice in stepping away from them when I did.
It would be fun to see a published collection, but I just don’t have the time to put together such a book.
The website I posted them on is set to private and sometimes I think about making it public once again, but if I did that, I would want to go through the posts and make a few changes and remove a few things. Doing this would be very time consuming and unfortunately I am not able to commit to a project like that.
The reason I would want to make such edits is that early on I would share more personal things about my life than I would now. When I started that site I had no idea how long I would maintain it, nor if anyone would read it, so I wasn’t as concerned about privacy as much as I am today.
I am not as concerned as someone from my boy life discovering the old site (or even the current site) and putting two and two together and outing me. I mean, it is a concern and I don’t want that at all, but after ten years of being as visible online as I am, part of me thinks if being “caught” was going to happen, it would have by now.
My concern is that I think I had a stalker. Someone who was seemingly obsessed with me. Someone who would send emails that would make me a little paranoid. They were paying too much attention to things I posted about. Some of the things could have been harmless, but still a little unnerving. For example, I would post a photo of myself against a wall in my home. This person would then write to me and mentioned that I must have painted that room because the last time I posed next to that wall it was a different color.
And that would be the only thing they wrote about. Not about the dress, not about anything else. Just the wall.
Again, it might have been harmless, but an odd thing to pay attention to and an odder thing to email about.
I would write I lived in the Twin Cities. They would immediately send emails asking specifically which part of the Twin Cities I lived in. The questions were always very pointed, and asking things that were beyond casual conversation. These emails were always about something very specific. Almost as if they wanted me to know they were paying very close attention.
There were other instances that I don’t want to share here.
I’ve written before that paranoia saves us, and I had to listen to that.
I quickly decided to stop posting photos taken in my home. I stopped sharing certain details. I closed the site down not only because it was time to move on from the “theme” of the site, but also because of personal safety.
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!