Bye Bye Birdie

I am fascinated by sinking ships.

Not real, literal, actual sinking ships, but the period of time watching… something fall apart. Something slowing sinking below the waves, never to be the same again. The end days of something.

I’ve had jobs where the office was going to be relocated halfway across the country and the staff was given a 90 notice that we would be losing our jobs. That 90 day period was fascinating. I mean, yes, it’s sad to see people lose a job and it’s stressful looking for a new job, but watching the drama unfold, the shift in attitude, the “it’s the end of the world as we know (and I feel fine)” vibe is really interesting to me. People stop caring, people get angry…

In a way, it’s a peek into how the world might collectively respond to an approaching asteroid and knowing that in a few days life on earth would be annihilated. Watching people react to an approaching doom, an inevitable result is very interesting. I mean, I have no idea what I would do if we only had a week to live. Would I tell my boss exactly what I thought of him? Would I start drinking again? Would I ignore the threat? I have absolutely no idea.

Is this weird that I think about this? I mean, yes, it probably is.

Last week Twitter was having somewhat of a crisis. Rumors and speculation were rampant that the site, also known as “the bird app” due to the bird logo, might be disappearing any day now due to the erratic whims of a billionaire.

People were tweeting like crazy. Some were saying goodbye, some were venting, some were saying thank you to their followers, some people were just angry, some were apathetic, some people found the humor in it all.

I am probably trivializing things in my comparison, but it was kind of like seeing how people would react if the actual world was really ending.

And yes, I know that a website going offline is not the same thing as all life vanishing. I know this.

My point is that people will likely react in a certain way if they know this is their last chance to say something, to do something, to express an emotion. We usually don’t know when a goodbye is the final goodbye and there is something beautiful about being able to say a proper farewell, a proper thank you to someone knowing it’s the last one.

Anyway, the Twitter Apocalypse was last week. It didn’t happen. Due to the speed of how rapidly things happen online, last week feels like a year ago. I mean, the site could disappear literally at any moment but it doesn’t seem as likely as it did last week.

I LIKE Twitter. I use it in my boy life for quick information regarding current events (this is especially helpful when I am traveling) but I also like having an account for Hannah.

And yes, this is shallow but it does a lot for my self-esteem. Make no mistake, this side of myself is an expression of who I am. And! I would be lying if I didn’t try to be as beautiful and as feminine as I possibly can be.

My gender identity and my gender presentation is for myself. And! I would be lying if I said that someone’s opinion of my appearance didn’t effect me. A compliment gives me a boost, and the opposite stings.

Tweeting a picture that gets a lot of positive interaction makes me happy. My self-esteem is not dependent on the internet’s response to a photo but it does impact me.

If I am having a rotten day or feeling very… MALE, tweeting a photo and reminding myself of my more feminine side makes me happy. If the photo gets likes or nice comments, well, even better.

I have more followers on Twitter than I had ever expected to have. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but it is very affirming. It helps me think that maybe I am achieving what I am trying to do.

But please know that social media is… it’s weird. Followers or lack of followers doesn’t mean anything sometimes. Hannah used to have an Instagram account and for the life of me she just couldn’t make a splash. No one cared. Twitter was a different story.

So, in honor of the potential disappearance of Twitter I thought I would take the time to reply to the messages I have sitting in my Twitter inbox.

I typically respond to an email in relatively quick fashion but messages through Flickr and Twitter tend to be from men who are looking to hook up. As you can imagine I don’t respond to them. I’ve written before how lazy and uninspiring these messages are but even if some guy wrote the most thoughtful, well-written message to me declaring their love I still probably wouldn’t respond in the way they would (presumably) like.

So, in matching the energy and effort that these dudes have put into their messages to me, I will reply with the same energy and effort that they used.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Thank you!

Thank you! And yes.

Thank you!

Thank you! And no.

Thank you!

I try!

Thank you!

Thank you! I owe it all to the Stairmaster.

Thank you!

I’m good.

Thank you!

Hi.

No.

Thank you so much!

Hi.

Thank you! I try!

No.

No.

That does sound fun!

Thank you!

It takes a lot of time and money.

You’d be surprised.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Hi, thank you, I am not “your love”

Thank you!

Look. I know this might come off as bitchy and pretentious. I don’t mean to. I feel that most of the messages I get are from men who are trying to shoot their shot. Short messages that are usually “Hi” and “u r pretty”, hence the many responses above simply being “Hi” and “Thank you!”.

I wanted to post this mostly out of silliness, I suppose. I thought it might be funny to list responses without the corresponding question and let your imagination decide what the sender was actually asking.

On a more serious note, Twitter and to a larger extent, social media and the internet as a whole is a mixture of good and terrible. Twitter gives me a chance to connect with others and show support for LGBTQ+ businesses and people and resources. I hope it sticks around and things stabilizes.

Love, Hannah