Sometimes I will post something and I feel I am able to anticipate the likely responses the photo or link or article will generate.
Some of the expected comments can be fun, others can be polarizing and divisive… and others can be the equivalent to setting a room on fire and quickly closing the door behind you.
I love the diverse readership this website has. It’s encouraging that regardless of what is posted there will likely be some sort of interaction with it. Not that I need the validation but I do like sharing content or thoughts that connects with others even if it’s just others also sharing their love of high heels.
There are some readers who will email me after certain types of posts that, well, yell at me when I discuss certain topics. It would be almost funny if it wasn’t so intense.
Actually, what IS funny is when someone sends a very very very long and angry email about drag queen story time that they obviously put a lot of work into and I just delete it without reading it, lol.
Sometimes if I have an admittingly shallow post about how much I love lingerie, I’ll get emails that tell me I need to stop being so superficial and be more serious about gender identity.
If I discuss legislation that targets the LGBTQ+ community, I get emails calling me a woke bitch and I should stick to talking about dresses.
Thank God for the block and filtering options that Gmail has.
One particular trigger for some readers is anything that has anything to do with transgender youth. Some of my more… opinionated readers will send me clips from Fox News about doctors “mutilating” children who have undergone gender affirming medical care. Some articles that are forwarded to me are about drag queens grooming children. These things are simply not happening.
Anyone undergoing any sort of medical treatment when it comes to gender identity has likely gone through years of therapy and counseling. These procedures are not taken lightly. A person getting the genitalia that coincides with their gender identity is crucial and even life-saving in some situations. Someone’s choice to proceed with that is their choice and is not something that someone just “decides” to do.
I can’t relate to needing to transition. I can’t relate to needing different anatomical features that better fit their gender identity. I don’t feel dysphoria beyond simply not feeling cute sometimes. Because of this, I can’t relate to someone who really felt that it was necessary to undergo medical care regarding their gender identity.
BUT I know that for others it’s important and unquestionably necessary. Who am I to say to what is right for someone else? Who am I to say whether or not someone should make a decision that only impacts themselves?
I have known who I am for over four decades. Over the years I have changed the terms that I identify with and have come to a stronger and clearer understanding of who I am and what is right for me. It’s a journey, remember? One that almost all of us begin very early on in life. One that likely begins in childhood.
From the moment I tried on “girl clothes” I knew. But I also knew that although I had the option to change my gender legally and medically, I knew that it wasn’t right for me. Decades later the needle on this hasn’t twitched at all. Knowing this, I also accept that for others the need for a change is indeed there and has also likely been there since childhood.
A teenager, even someone younger, knowing that their legal gender isn’t right for them is absolutely a reality for many. And it’s a reality I know exists even if it’s not a feeling I can relate to either at the age I am now or when I was younger.
Again, it’s not for me or for anyone else to decide what is right for someone else. And! It’s not as simple of a decision where someone, regardless of their age, can wake up and legally change their gender and start on medication and schedule surgery as easily as setting up an oil change. These steps take months and even years of therapy and medical appointments. These steps are crucial in helping someone making sure that this decision is indeed the right direction for them.
Simply put, changing one’s gender (legally) and changing their body (to fit one’s gender identity) are not easy things to do. They require the help and recommendations of many, many professionals.
If a fourteen year old kid feels the need to change their gender I absolutely cannot relate to needing to do that… but I also know that they themselves know what is right for them. AND I know IF they proceed they will work with many trained and qualified professions in determining if this is indeed appropriate for them.
Today I am sharing a petition that a parent in Arkansas asked me to bring some attention to. This is in response to to a proposed bill, HB1156, which will require transgender students to use only the bathroom based on the gender on their birth certificate. This is a relatively new bill that is a somewhat modified version of a proposal that thankfully did not pass in 2021 called HB 1749. This bill would have legally forbidden teachers and public figures the use preferred names or pronouns for transgender students.
This parent pointed out that if this bill passes, it will also increase problems with gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a legitimate medical problem, and is included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Trans youth with gender dysphoria often have trouble coping at school already, and it can lead to anxiety, depression, self-harm, eating disorders, drug use, and even suicide.
Some of my readers are convinced that someone using a bathroom is entirely for deviant and nefarious and sexual reasons. I mean, do they not know what a bathroom is REALLY used for? When I am out en femme I always use the ladies room. And I use a men’s bathroom for the same reason I do when I am in male mode. I am not there to expose myself or harass anyone. I am there because I have to pee. Trans students are using the restroom for the same reason. If I was forced to use the men’s room when out en femme it would be very uncomfortable for everyone involved.
And pronouns are a big deal. I’ve been called male pronouns as Hannah and it stings worse than I could have imagined. If I were transitioning or living fulltime and I was constantly called HIM I think it would impact my self-esteem in pretty terrible ways.
And pronouns AREN’T a big deal at the same time. I am happy to call someone by what they want. Liz instead of Elizabeth? No problem. They instead of him? No problem. Mistress Pain instead of Janet? No problem, Mistress.
In her email, she writes I have created a petition on Change.org to try and prevent this bill becomes a harsh reality. Please help me fight this, and help our children to be safe, accepted and comfortable in Arkansas schools. With every signature, we hope to raise awareness, in the hopes the bill won’t pass. It is slow going and I am reaching out to others to help spread the word.
Please consider giving this petition a signature. I did!
Due to the sensitivity of this and due to the pattern of trolls when it comes to discussions regarding gender identity for those under the age of eighteen I have disabled comments for this post.
Sorry, not sorry.