Slave Concepts… of HELL!

Hi! 

Best. Blog. Title. EVER.

Anyway, take a look at this email I received recently:

Hannah, it’s been years following trying to participate, but honestly I believe you’ve now fallen too deep into a mindset where’s there’s no beauty and truth for sincere covenants of males struggling with cross thoughts of identity. You have now traveled with a lot of intellectual thoughts and expressions of feelings and desires, stating heterosexual dominance and your relationship with your wife as most significant. Now I have witnessed the last few years you skidding into the abyss of not true transformative opportunities but more into the slave concepts of hell. You’ve lost the physical abilities to be pretty, your maleness has taken back in age your desire to be pretty as a crossdress transvestite; which category you always avoided to truly belong in. You have pulled many now with you as support mechanisms locally. You have capitalized on that concept to encase your financial position in that capitalism structure. You’ve put yourself on a pedestal of authority that may make your advice to yourself sound correct but could easily destroy others that try to follow. Beware your next steps after your last 2 years activities and columns will become dangerous for you, and extremely hurtful to your wife and family. Next being outed at work will happen as the Ai workplace security trolls are released this year. You EU preserves alone will do this.

I was hoping you’d soften your look and presentation again especially when the community has started that there may be open acceptance soon in society. But as I said many many years ago, God made us exactly who we are and think we are, The creator never said ignor him to be able to cross dress and be happy in many ways. He did send His son to be a sacrifice so people like you and I and others feel ok with God. You made your desires, faith or lack of, or ignorance of, more important than evolving into a cross dressing slut with next steps a non heterosexual sexual encounter, maybe that’s truly your desire and next step. Perhaps homosexuality is a god design for you you’ve simply stepped around. Did you ever read the book I recommended many years ago? “ Two Human Species Exist”. Bruce Eldine Morton? Must read before you self destruct, along wit gnost concepts. Etc. You were beautiful then vain made you lose all the weight, the Adam apple popped out, you lost the natural glow, and you believe you now enjoy celebrity.

Wrong.
Please for those that died themselves to you and desire to be loyal as G Sisters. Fix yourself or get out of the notion that you are a true transvestite.

What a shame. I was born with two type of sexual organs. My position in life was decided with a knife in 1952. You, well you simply wanted to play house and now still do but with leather and straps.

You will never respond nor share this on column or with Mn girl. You see you still have too much balls to tuck and not be notice. This will be saved and available on UK sites if ever needed.

Wow!

There’s a lot to unpack here but I did try to respond. Here’s what I replied:

Thank you for your email.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life is that not every person is for everyone.  I’m sorry that I have disappointed you.

I wish you well.  Take care!

Love, Hannah

Buuuut I received an autogenerated response so it’s unlikely the sender will see what I wrote.

Perhaps I am being goaded into responding, publicly or privately, by the writer when they said “You will never respond nor share this on column or with Mn girl.” but I am taking the bait or calling their bluff and choosing to respond here.

I want to comment on a few specific things in this communique but before I do, I want to say that it’s difficult to know how to respond tonally to a message like this. When I meant to reply to the writer personally, I was more cordial and had a much shorter response but since the writer will likely not see that, I am choosing to comment in a more… expansive way that addresses the different ways I considered replying. Essentially the email stirred up a lot of thoughts and feelings and I always feel better when I write. 

I do try to respond to messages in the same spirit the message was written. If the email is criticism, but polite and respectful, I do my best to respond respectfully. For an email like this, part of me gets defensive, part of me wants to attempt a sincere and genuine response, part of me takes a lighter attitude, and part of me gets reallllll bitchy. This is going to be a little of all that. I suppose I should feel bad about potential bitchiness but I think being called a “cross dressing slut” allows me to forgo some manners. 

I don’t plan on posting every negatively critical email I receive, but I do feel a need to clarify things and defend myself sometimes.

Buckle up and let’s goooooo.

Please for those that died themselves to you and desire to be loyal as G Sisters.

I don’t know who G Sisters are. I am not sure what is meant by “those that died themselves to you”.  

You see you still have too much balls to tuck and not be notice.

I THINK this is referring to how some photos, particularly lingerie photos, show an outline of my scrotum and penis. This is because I have a scrotum and a penis. Some panties and lingerie don’t always make tucking my scrotum and penis possible. I don’t associate genitalia with gender and I think we all know that people have different anatomy. I do think it’s unusual that the writer focused on my scrotum and penis but I also think it’s odd that they decided to comment on my scrotum and penis. Everyone has genitalia and I think the polite thing to do is to not draw attention to it. 

…stating heterosexual dominance and your relationship with your wife as most significant.

I have nevvvvvvvvver said I was heterosexual. I have never said what my sexual identity is. And yes, my relationship with my wife is THE most significant aspect of my life. Is that so wrong?

You’ve lost the physical abilities to be pretty

Damn. I know I’m not the cutest girl ever and I don’t for a moment think that anyone else thinks I’m pretty but this was a little harsh. I suppose cruelty was the point.

You have pulled many now with you as support mechanisms locally. You have capitalized on that concept to encase your financial position in that capitalism structure.

I THINK this is referring to the MN T-Girls. Being a member of the group is a voluntary thing and I do not require anyone subscribing or adhering to any of my beliefs and values about, well, anything. And if you think I have started the group to put myself in a financial advantage then please let me clarify. There are no membership fees. Some of our events cost money buy I am not charging anyone to attend. Any cost associated with an outing is for the event itself, whether it’s for a ticket to see a play or a coffee. Some events, such as Pride or our annual holiday party are made possible by donations from members of the group.

As I said in a recent post:

It costs a lot of money to have a booth at Pride. This year the application fee was $53. After the application was approved I paid $327 and then I needed to secure insurance which was $75. So, $455 for the booth itself. We’ll need a new tent for the year as last year ours was destroyed in a storm, and it will cost money to print flyers and such. I assure you no one in our group is profiting from anything we do.

I hope that clears this up. 

This will be saved and available on UK sites if ever needed.

???

Fix yourself or get out of the notion that you are a true transvestite.

I am not sure what a “true transvestite” is but I suppose everyone has a different perspective on what qualifies one to identity as a certain gender. Perhaps in the eyes of the writer a true transvestite is someone who transitions? I have my own definition of what being transgender means and I think I’ve always made it clear that this is my own definition. I have never implied that there no other valid meanings or opinions. I have never told anyone they were wrong when they’ve disclosed how they identify. 

I was hoping you’d soften your look and presentation again especially when the community has started that there may be open acceptance soon in society.

I love the optimism here but I don’t think we’re close to seeing an open acceptance anytime soon in society. As for my presentation, some of my looks in photo shoots are a little extreme, if you will, but my real style is what I wear in public. I would never wear a teeny tiny PVC dress with thigh high boots to Starbucks but yes, it’s a fun outfit to wear in the privacy of a studio. 

You made your desires, faith or lack of, or ignorance of, more important than evolving into a cross dressing slut with next steps a non heterosexual sexual encounter, maybe that’s truly your desire and next step. Perhaps homosexuality is a god design for you you’ve simply stepped around.

My faith is none of anyone’s business and I have never fully commented on my relationship with God. Please don’t assume I lack faith. As for me being a crossdressing slut, if anyone must know, I have not been intimate with anyone besides my wife since our first date almost twenty years ago. This is hardly the behavior of a slut. What I wear in a photo shoot (or anywhere) is not indicative of sexual activity. I can assure you that my next steps will not include a sexual encounter with anyone other than my wife. 

As for education and faith, one does not need to be a believer to be educated in a holy scripture. I’ve studied the Bible, not only the history of translations of it but the text as well. Some verses that come to mind that I feel are applicable, regardless of one’s faith, include Matthew 7, 1:2 (Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.) and Matthew 5, 29 (And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee). I think the latter of these two verses can be construed as “if you don’t like my website, my photos, my perspective, don’t go there.” There are countless websites out there and if I come across one I don’t like, I simply don’t visit it. I don’t bother writing an email. Why waste my time? 

I understand and can relate to the comfort that faith or a community can bring. And I believe that faith and religion are very personal values. Like gender and politics, people have different perspectives of God. I don’t believe in imposing my faith onto anyone and my personal opinion is that one shouldn’t do that to anyone else. I do my best to make it clear that my perspectives on gender and anything else, are my own. It’s obvious that faith is important to the writer, and my faith is important to me. Please don’t assume to understand mine as I don’t presume to understand anyone else’s. 

You were beautiful then vain made you lose all the weight, the Adam apple popped out, you lost the natural glow, and you believe you now enjoy celebrity.

Vanity did not lead to weight loss. I stopped drinking and have been sober for almost eight years. When you stop drinking a bottle of wine every single night your body will respond to that. As for enjoying celebrity, I don’t think of myself as such because, well, I’m not?? I am not recognized in public. I am not wealthy. 

I am prolific (writing a blog for a decade will naturally lead to that) but I don’t think of myself as famous. I don’t want to be. There are less advantages to being as visible and prolific as I am as one would think. One huge drawback is when someone becomes enamored with me, or rage follows me, and comments on everything that I post. Some posts are scrutinized to the point of obsessiveness and blocking people on social media is part of my everyday.  Some people become waaay too invested in my genitalia, such as my scrotum and penis, some people ask personal questions about my intimate life and speculate on my personal relationships and make assumptions about my sexuality. Please don’t assume I enjoy this. If this is what being a celebrity means, then I want no part in it. 

I was born with two type of sexual organs. My position in life was decided with a knife in 1952. You, well you simply wanted to play house and now still do but with leather and straps.

I’m sorry to hear that this happened to the writer. But I am not playing house and although I love leather and straps, when I am out in the real world I don’t dress the same way I do for a photo shoot. Besides, I also wear floor length gowns at photo shoots but that doesn’t mean I wear it to the mall. But that would be fun. Maybe I will! I think I will.

The creator never said ignor him to be able to cross dress and be happy in many ways.

I don’t think there is a deity in the entire pantheon of gods that care what I wear. Besides, if God is so intolerant of gender non-conforming people, why has the writer been reading my website for so long? 

Now I have witnessed the last few years you skidding into the abyss of not true transformative opportunities but more into the slave concepts of hell

You’ve put yourself on a pedestal of authority that may make your advice to yourself sound correct but could easily destroy others that try to follow.

No I didn’t.

I am not a cult leader. People ask for my perspective and I give it. People seek me out. I don’t interject my opinion randomly. I don’t think the writer is giving people that choose to write to me or choose to comment on my blog enough credit for having independent thought. Advice is tricky to give, and it’s always up to the asker if they choose to consider it. If someone asks for my thoughts on something, I give it, sometimes warily and with stipulations. Often times I encourage counseling as therapists are way smarter than I am. Rarely do I volunteer my thoughts unprompted and it’s always up to someone else what they choose to next. I like to think I offer perspective as opposed to advice. 

…

So, that’s that. But what do you think? Does the writer have a point? Am I a crossdressing slut? Have I put myself on a pedestal? Am I destroying other people’s lives? I have my own perspectives on these questions but sometimes someone else’s thoughts can be helpful. Please comment (you can do so anonymously if you choose) if you feel I am, well, wrong. Is the writer onto something, albeit expressed in a less than respectful manner? Have I elevated my stature? Am I providing harmful advice? 

Love, Hannah