A Visit to underDARE

I am often amazed at how many resources are available for non-binary people these days. When I was younger I wanted to be able to go into a store and look for clothes that would fit me, that were designed for me, and assisted by a staff that supported me.

Even at my most optimistic, I didn’t think that would be possible. I imagined that in the best case scenario I would have a clerk who didn’t hate girls like me.

Thankfully the world is changing and there is more support for our community than I ever thought possible. Of course, this change is not linear and is often riddled with setbacks and this progress is not universal, but slowly we are getting there.

When I come out to someone or discuss my gender identity with someone who is cisgender, I feel I am doing an inadequate job. If I can’t help someone understand, I try to help them relate to who I am. It mostly works.

That being said, I am very thankful that there are many people outside our community who DO understand us. This understanding can usually lead to support and acceptance.

And sometimes it leads to action.

These were some of the thoughts swirling in my head this past Saturday when I visited underDARE. underDARE is a physical shop in south Minneapolis that sells gender affirming undergarments, from binders to panties to tucking leggings.

From their website:

underDARE offers a physical location for LGBTQ+ folks to shop for gender-affirming and other community specific garments they would otherwise have to find online. With multiple brands and inclusive sizing, underDARE offers a comfortable, safe, nurturing, appointment only setting for people to touch, try on, and purchase affirming undergarments.

I chatted with Marcy Darling, owner and founder, about her son who was the reason underDARE exists. Her story about the frustration of finding gender affirming garments for her son led to the shop that I was in. Being able to try on items before purchasing is one of the reasons a physical shop exists. Many of her clients are families with a non-binary child who are looking for support and resources. underDARE offers both.

If you are looking for this type of support, both physical or emotional, please consider visiting underDARE (by appointment). Thank you to Marcy for her time and for all she does for our community.  

Love, Hannah