Kinks and Consent

I feel I am, at times, an unwilling and/or unaware participant in someone’s kink.

Alllllll of this is going to sound a little bitchy or a little egocentric but none of this is flattering.

I have no qualms about the pictures I post. None of what I do is an effort to get people to interact with me or respond to a photo in a specific way. What I mean is that if I post a boudoir picture, I am not doing so with the intention of triggering aroused men to message me or to post sexual comments.

But it happens. It’s not my intention. Someone telling me that my picture makes them aroused is not affirming. It’s TMI. It’s not something I wish to know.

But it happens. And it will likely continue to happen.

I post pictures because I want to. What happens after that is out of my control. Being active on social media comes with a price and it comes with the acceptance that your photo or post could be shared and it will be online forever.

I am aware that I am a fantasy to some. And again, all of this is going to sound egocentric, but I am not special or alone in this. T-girls are often fetishized. Some people want to sleep with me, some want to serve me, some want to dominate me, some want to be me.

The anonymity of the internet can embolden people to share their thoughts and feelings and desires. Sometimes this is a benefit. I have had countless people come out to me through private messages because they can do so without disclosing their legal name. It’s the safe and anonymous way for someone to say “I wear panties” without compromising their private information. Coming out feels… amazing, even if it’s a very small revelation done so anonymously to a stranger.

I am very accessible. I publish my email address on this site and I keep my DMs open on Twitter. I do this because I want to make it easy for people to contact me, whether it is someone coming out to me, someone asking about breast forms, or an overwhelmed wife. Almost all of my interactions are lovely.

Buuuut (you knew there would be a buuuut) this leaves the door open for people who just want to ask sexual questions or have conversations that I do not want to have. I shut them down pretty quickly and if they do not back down, they get blocked.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but I am direct with telling them that their question or conversation is not appropriate. Most listen. Some don’t.

And I think that’s the point for some of them. They WANT to make me uncomfortable. They WANT to make me angry.

Some people who contact me, I feel, are doing so because they are looking for a participant, even if it’s through email/messaging, for a particular reason. They are, well, horny, and want to engage with someone who is making them so.

A side note here: I find no joy or pride or affirmation by being told that I make someone aroused.

Some of these people are very particular about their interest or fetish. Oftentimes the conversation is centered around something very specific, such as what I like to wear during intimate moments or if I enjoy playing with toys. You know what I mean.

Sometimes I am told that I am whom they fantasize about during intimate moments. I do not wish to know this.

In some instances a man will ask if they can give me a gift. And sometimes they do, if I send them the link to my Amazon wishlist. Sometimes they email me a giftcard. Sometimes they cashapp me and tell me to buy a cute dress.

Buuuut sometimes they want to buy me something very specific. Recently a guy emailed me asking if they could buy me a latex catsuit. I like latex and really, anything shiny.

I thought it would be fun to live out my Catwoman daydreams for a photo shoot. We went back and forth and I was testing the waters, so to speak, the entire time.

Was this guy creepy? Did he seem sincere?

He sent a few links to places to buy one online and then he stopped replying.

Ghosted, as the kids say.

And I felt stupid.

Of course, I will likely never know why he stopped, but I felt stupid, naive, and a little used. Perhaps he liked the idea of me wearing it, and he continued to engage with me as it, well, pleased him, and stopped responding to me after he was, ah, satisfied.

If that’s indeed what happened, I was an unwilling participant in his experience. I was involved, in an indirect way, without my consent.

I don’t like being played, I don’t like feeling stupid. I don’t like believing someone’s sincerity or kindness and then realize I was being naive.

I am not the smartest cookie in the jar but I am pretty smart (typos aside). I am not a fool that thinks that men will shower me with gifts but in my defense, it does happen.

Not only do I feel stupid, I feel used, I feel objectified. I do not like doing anything unless it’s something I consent to. I suppose some readers will think all of this comes with the territory and what should I expect when it comes to the content I post. Regardless of being so public and regardless of the pictures I post, consent is still expected.

Love, Hannah