Pillow Talk!

Hi!

I have a new article for Pillow Talk, a new series I am doing with Xdress!

I get more questions about relationships and crossdressing/gender identity/gender presentation than anything else. Although a fair amount come from partners, most come from someone like me and presumably someone like yourself.

These questions are tricky because I am being asked to weigh in on something incredibly significant that impacts not only someone’s gender identity but also their relationship. I am also presented with just one person’s perspective and it’s not improbable I am not getting the full picture of how their gender presentation/identity is affecting their partner.

Because of these two things, I try to play it safe and encourage someone to see it from their partner’s perspective. How would they feel if their wife wanted to wear masculine clothing? How would you feel if they wanted to be called “Jim” during intimate moments?

Like, how would you REALLY feel?

Although I am who I am, and although I can relate to someone feeling that the gender they were assigned at birth wasn’t quite right, I know it would take a lot of time getting used to if my wife wanted to be called “Jim” during intimacy.

Seeing a situation from a different perspective is how two people can begin to work on it.

I really, really hope that my responses to questions like these help.

Love, Hannah