Hi! I have a new article for Pillow Talk, a series I am doing with Xdress!
This week’s question is about attention that I get from men. I know we all have a different perspective about guys showing interest in us and I know that I get criticism for not “being grateful” but hear me out.
Men expressing their feelings towards me is rarely “I just want to say that you’re beautiful”. More often than not their messages are along the lines of “I want you to fuck me so hard”. There’s a world of difference between these two statements.
Annnnnd even if their first message to me is polite, it never takes long for them to tell me what they are really after.
Annnnnd in almost every instance when I turn them down, their final message to me is “fuck you bitch” or a slight variation of that.
Sooooo I hope you understand that getting attention from men isn’t very pleasant because I know based on experience how it’s very likely going to go.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
Hi Hannah,
Where do you go to get approached by so many men?
It has happened to me occasionally but not often. I have never had anyone be any other than a gentleman. The most common interaction is them simply holding a door for me. The only exception has been in bars where I have been very intimated.
Jodi
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Most of the unpleasant interactions are online where people have the protection of not saying something face-to-face but it still happens.
Love, Hannah
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Oh that makes sense. Your online persona is very likable and approachable. And obviously very attractive.
The most common place that I am approached is the women’s bathroom where ladies like to chat.
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Good day Hannah,
When you have the size of internet presence as you have you are going to get all sorts of communications from the good, the bad and the ugly. Never really understood your need to be on the net like you are but we all have our callings in life.
Take care,
Sarah Anne
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I feel like that comment is a little too close to, “Well you’re asking for it by dressing that way.” No one ever asks to be or deserves to be sexually harassed because of what they’re wearing or doing. Suggesting otherwise is victim blaming and justifying abuse.
Rather than throw up our hands and say, “Eh, it’s the internet!” we should be doing exactly what Hannah is doing and calling attention to how unacceptable this kind of thing actually is. The more people who work together to improve our culture, the more likely we are to make an impact.
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I fully agree with Sophie on this one. Simply because someone has attractive pictures of themselves online doesn’t mean people need to harass or hassle them. I also get a fair amount of attention from guys, and while it doesn’t bother me, I also have much the same issue as Hannah. When I turn them down they immediately turn hostile and nasty. The odd ones are the responses of “Your loss”. Yes, let me give up my wife, my family, my career, for this person I know absolutely nothing about except that they are male and fine me attractive. That really sounds like I’m losing out, right?
I think part of the problem is that most of the guys are so lonely that they begin to lose touch with reality. The number of guys who live thousands of miles away or in other countries and want to go out or meet up is pretty ridiculous. And when you point that out to them, they just play it off like no big deal. And most of them want me to travel to them, or put them up in a hotel when they travel here. Why am I doing that? Just because they say they love me? I often point out that love is a two-way street. One person loving someone without reciprocation is infatuation.
So, is there anything wrong with a guy reaching out and saying hello and that they like the way someone looks? No, but as Hannah notes, that’s almost never the ultimate goal and if they’re being nice with ulterior motives… are they really being nice?
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Personally, I like the attention from men but the hidden gem in this article is how great it is to get a compliment from a woman. They are so genuine and effusive in their praise, it makes you feel like a million bucks. Plus you know they REALLY know what they’re talking about!
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