Let’s Talk About Down There

Uness you’re blind, you probably have noticed that I love lingerie and I love doing lingerie photo shoots.

They take a significant amount of time and coordination as lingerie is typically meant to be very revealing. There are parts of my body that I don’t like so often times my arm will be positioned in a way that hides said parts and certain angles are less than flattering.

When it comes to my apperance in general, I aim to be as femme as possible. I think most of us do. But my perspective of femininity is not the same as everyone’s. I don’t think there is, or should be, a set definition or standard of femininty. This is more or less aligned with my perspective on passing. I don’t think passing should be the goal because passing implies that one looks like a cisgender girl but in order to look like a cisgender girl, then there are standards that must be met.

These standards are arbitrary.

For example, I am tall. Like, really tall. Am I too tall to be femme? If so, what is the tallest a girl can be until she is no longer a girl?

And so on.

I like the idea that femininty is, well, achieveable passed on what someone defines as femme. If I believed that I was too tall to be femme, then I would be unhappy. I can’t do anything about my height so I had to decide to either stay home for the rest of my life or shrug my shoulders and strut out the door as the Tallest Girl in the World.

Obviously I have gone with the second option.

I am here to tell you that you are not too tall to be femme. You are not too ANYTHING to be femme. You can have a squarish jaw and be femme. You can have a regtangular frame and be femme. You can have your voice and be femme.

Annnnnnd you can have a penis and be femme. Some women have them and everyone needs to get over it.

When I do photo shoots (and this is particulrly true with lingerie shoots) I am not really focused on my genitalia. I tuck and wear a gaff but I don’t get too worked up if I am not as flat and smooth as a someone without the same genitalia as I do.

When I post photos when I am fully clothed, any significant outline “down there” is the bottom of my corset, not my penis. My gaff and pantyhose/tights flatten and smooth things out.

But lingerie photos? Eh. I don’t care. Speaking plainly (and since we are all adults here), none of *this* arouses me. It’s not like being en femme gives me an erection or anything along those lines. I have a penis and when I post lingerie photos you can probably see a bulge and some people really, REALLY like letting me know this.

Could I have done a better job tucking in this particular photo? Probably. Could I have pivoted my hips to make the bulge less prominent? Probably. Could I have lifted my left leg to cover the front of my panties? Probably.

Do I care? No. Not really. Some people get really, ah, excited when I post photos where any sort of shape is present. Some people get mad and insist I hide this particular appendage at my next shoot.

The excitement comes from people who, well, let’s not talk about that. The anger comes from people who think I should hide every aspect, every hint of myself that “gives me away”. I am not concerned with anyone knowing I am not a cisgender girl.

And really, I feel humans collectively are too focused on other people’s genitalia. Whether its the genitalia someone had when they were born, the genitalia someone has, or the genitalia wishes they have. We speculate (and sometimes even ask) too much on what people do with their genitalia and associate a lifetime of expectations and standards on these parts. When someone transitions, the question they are often asked (or someone WANTS to ask them) has to do with down there.

It’s like, who cares, lol. Why is genitalia so important? Why are some people so weird about it?

And yes, this is a weird thing to write about but I assure you that more people are more invested in whatever I have going on down there than you can imagine.

I don’t think any part of our bodies prevent us from being femme. Just like I don’t think I am too tall to be a girl, I don’t think I have the “wrong” genitalia to be femme. I am not trying to hide my “male parts” because I don’t think that any aspect of our body HAS to be associated with gender. My penis isn’t “a male part” no more than my elbows are “a male part”. It is part of my body, regardless of how I present.

I am always tall, whether I am en femme or not. I am always wearing panties, whether I am en femme or not. I have a penis, whether I am en femme or not.

My having a penis is only weird if you make it weird.

Love, Hannah