No, I am not.
As someone who posts a lot of different types of photos (specifically on Twitter and BlueSky) I get a lot of different types of reactions. They are mostly predictable.
If I post a lingerie photo, the comments and messages tend to be, ah, erotically charged.
A leather or latex dress triggers reactions of wanting to be dominated.
A soft, pink look inspires sissy related reactions.
I am not saying these responses are appropriate, but they are predictable. I’ve said this before and I stand by it, but no matter the photo, no matter the outfit, it is not appropriate to suggest that I am inviting these types of responses.
There is a thin line between someone saying “she posted a lingerie picture, she should have known what men would say” and “she wore a miniskirt, she should have known men would not be able to control themselves”.
Clothes do not turn a man into a sexual predator or a rapist. What a girl wears is just used to justify or explain a man’s actions.
The variety of photos also include, well, real clothes lol. Sometimes my daily photo is a cute outfit appropriate for the office or a floor length ball gown, also appropriate for the office.
These comparatively modest photos still trigger wildly inappropriate comments and messages. The responses can range from “cute outfit, what r u wearing under it???” to a guy sharing a very elaborate fantasy of me slowly taking off the dress as I prepare for a night of passion.
No matter what I post, it’s going to trigger inappropriate responses.
Living on this side of gender presentation (even if it’s not full time) gives me the perspective of how some men view and interact with women. And no, not all men, but almost all men.
I don’t hide or shy away from my trans-ness, if you will. I am not online to catfish anyone (especially because I am not trying to hook up). I don’t pretend to pass as cisgender.
That being said, many men interact with me on that basis. I am not the cutest girl online, I am not the cutest girl in my city, I am not even the cutest girl in my home, but I have cute clothes and an amazing photographer. Those two things help me look better than I really do, lol.
It’s not always easy to tell why a man wants to be with a transgirl but I think for some men they are into girls like us because they are curious about being intimate with someone who has a penis and being with a girl who has one isn’t gay (and no, not all transgirls have a penis).
I do think that for many guys who are into transgirls their fantasy likely began from adult entertainment (which is a classy way to say porn, lol).
The different fetishes and kinks out there have expanded into things that I had never even considered. Not judging, but my god, lol.
I don’t think porn is inherently bad. “Inherently” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting here, lol. I do think it can be damaging if it shapes how someone thinks of someone else. What I mean is that if a guy watches a lot of porn he might start to think that all women are sex crazed and will do anything they can to hook up with a guy. He might start to think that all women are “asking for it” because, well, that’s what he sees in his choice of entertainment.
I don’t watch porn but I know that it’s a common trope for a transgirl to catfish a dude. The guy meets a hot chick and then goes to her place and omg she has a dick for example. I do think a lot of guys who are into (or at least curious) t-girls like this fantasy. I think in this scenario it takes away some of the accountability (if you will) for hooking up with someone who has a penis.
These fantasies, I think, can really influence how a guy thinks of ALL transgirls. They may start to think that a t-girl posting a photo (regardless of the outfit) online is an invitation for sexually explicit messages. Why is that the assumption? Because it’s what they see when it comes to transgender girls. It’s ONLY what they see when it comes to transgender girls. It’s the only context they have when it comes to transgender girls. If you watch a lot of porn and the only time you see a girl like us is in a video, then you may start to think that ALL t-girls are like the ones in a video.
Please know that I am not criticizing the women who choose to do adult videos. Again, I do not think porn is inherently bad.
My point is that the person who is watching or reading adult content is 100% responsible for their actions and words. People are smart enough (even if they claim to not be) to distinguish fantasy from reality. And it’s not JUST sexual fantasy, it’s everything that is not real life. Smart people in movies tend to be portrayed as, well, nerds who are into nerdy things, but that’s not reality. Horny women in porn does not mean all women are horny. A seductive transgirl in an adult video does not mean all transgirls are out to seduce you.
Love, Hannah
