I am far from perfect but occasionally I do nice things for people. With how difficult it is to find certain essential items these days I had been keeping an eye out for some Target-y things that someone I knew needed. I was able to find these supplies yesterday while out running errands and I picked them up for the person who needed them.
Again, nothing heroic, just doing something that they would do for me.
I couldn’t help but reflect on how people need people. But I also thought about how this person is very Republican and is very anti-trans.
BUT HANNAH NOT EVERY REPUBLICAN HATES TRANSPEOPLE.
God, I know. However, I can’t think of a single anti-LGBTQ+ piece of legislation that has been introduced that wasn’t authored by a Republican. Additionally the person I am referring to has said very hurtful things towards our community in private (and not so private) conversations with me. And for me personally the way you vote and the party you affiliate yourself says a lot about your values.
Sure, some people vote Republican because of what they claim to be for economical reasons. Okay. But when that same party also pushes laws that hurt the LGBTQ+ community, to me that says you support the party that support these laws, or at the very least that you tolerate these perspectives.
But this post is not meant to be political. I promise. What I am trying to say is this person, although they do kind things and we are friendly towards each other, we are about as different as it gets when it comes to values and perspectives on… everything, especially gender. I do know this person thinks highly of me, but I feel that opinion would change drastically if they knew me. Like, really knew me.
I feel that who we are is absolutely tied to, well, who we are. Sure, someone might like me as a person, but if they are anti-trans, then their opinion of me doesn’t matter. If someone knows ALL OF ME, then they need to support ALL OF ME.
That is not to say that someone has to like every aspect of someone else. I can like a co-worker but hate how they interrupt me whenever I am talking. I can like a friend but get annoyed at how they are always late when we meet for dinner.
But gender identity, race, nationality, sexual, and romantic preferences are more than personality traits or habits. This is who someone is. This is who I am.
The person who I am referring to is affiliated with a political party and has perspectives that contradict everything I am and everything I stand for. What would they think if they knew who I was?
Well, probably one of three scenarios.
1) They cut me out of their life completely
2) They ignore this part of me
3) They realize that perhaps that their perspectives on gender are not as black and white as they thought and try to understand people like me better and how their actions and words hurt someone they now
In the end, it doesn’t matter and it’s impossible and pointless to speculate. They will never know this side of me.
But what I know is they hate me. They would prefer that I didn’t exist. Sure, they like and respect me, but my God, they would do anything in the world to remove transpeople from society.
We are used to people like this. It would be hard to live our lives and not have to interact with people with this perspective. But we as a community have done so for our entire lives and will continue to do so.
I read that you need to be careful about who you hate, because it might be someone you love. Nothing has ever been more true.