Hello Again, Minneapolis

Yesterday was the first day I was out of the housesince February.

It was wonderful. It was like getting a piece of me back.

I had a makeover and then met my friend and photographer, Shannonlee, for a photo shoot for En Femme‘s spring and summer line. My friend Jennifer also came to visit. It was wonderful seeing friends again.

We did a total of six outfits in downtown Minneapolis. After the traumatic events in our city last week, it was almost… healing to be there. There were so many beautiful tributes to George Floyd. Everyone was kind. I think everyone was happy and relieved that the rioting had stopped.

Here are a few photos from the day, and I’ll share more behind the scenes pictures soon.

Love, Hannah

P.S. Can you believe I actually wore pants?

Coming Back to Life

It seems like forever since I’ve been en femme.

I mean, I underdress, I wear nighties, I wear leggings… but head to heels? It’s been ages. I have tried on my new dresses and stilettos of course, but we all know there’s nothing like the whole presentation.

But that changes tomorrow. I am doing a photo shoot for En Femme’s new summer line. I have my first makeover in months scheduled, I have a lot of new outfits to wear, and I should be excited.

I mean, I am. Don’t get me wrong.

But given everything that happened here over the last ten days, I am exhausted. I am emotionally spent. I am tired all the time. What happened in Minneapolis is awful. What happened to George Floyd was wrong and heartbreaking. What happened to our city is beyond belief.

Right now parts of my life seem a little more shallow than usual, and I am feeling guilty for booking a makeover and modeling. I think I am a good ambassador and voice for our community, but I am wanting to do more for more people.

But I suppose I don’t need to save the world. I don’t have to help everyone. No one can. I think we need to find how we can make a positive impact on others in the world, we need to find our strengths, our causes, our passions. I don’t know how to help rebuild a business or dismantle systematic racism. I can’t stop my neighbor from being racist.

But I can maybe help someone feel less alone when it comes to their gender identity. Maybe I can make someone look at our community in a more positive light. Maybe what I do is enough, especially if it makes me happy and I am sincere in what I am doing.

I am still processing everything from the last ten days. We are still living through a pandemic. This year is draining me.

But tomorrow I am getting a part of my life back, a part of me back. My other half. And in some ways, it’s a start.

Take care of each other.

Love, Hannah

New En Femme Blog!

My new article for En Femme has been posted!

The latest article with blogger, trans-activist and fashionista, Hannah McKnight is now available on our Learning Center! Hannah’s blog discusses more in-depth her life as a self-described T-girl.

In recent articles for our Learning Center, Hannah has shared her advice for coping with the difficulties many of us have been experiencing as we practice social distancing and about the need to protect ourselves online, especially in this moment. In her latest article, “Strutting Away From Shame,” Hannah talks about overcoming our fears and feeling empowered as we accept and embrace ourselves for who we are.  Read it now>>

Love, Hannah

Glamour Boutique Finalist!

It seems a little surreal to post about this, given what is going on in Minneapolis, around the world, but I am honored and surprised to be a finalist in two categories for Glamour Boutique‘s annual Glamour Girl contest.

Thank you to everyone who voted.  I am shocked and really feeling the love which I really need at the moment. 🙂

The first category is Newcomer and the second is Kitten (girls under 45).

I doubt I will win especially when I look at the other finalists, but this is kind of fun 😉

Love, Hannah

Update

Hi, just a short update to let you know that I am okay.  The riots over the past few days have been terrifying and heartbreaking.  I am devastated over the killing of Mr. Floyd.  I am shaken to my core over the fires and looting of my city.  Neighborhoods I once lived in are destroyed.

What the news isn’t showing are the calm, peaceful demonstrations, the volunteers cleaning up broken glass and debris in the morning, and people taking care of each other.

I expect this weekend to be even more intense than what we have gone through over the last few nights.  I pray I am wrong.

Love, Hannah

Do’s and Don’t’s

I received a few emails over the last few days about my recent post which talked about girls like us being sexualized and fetishized.

So, I wanted to clarify a few things.

Yes, I like wearing sexy dresses.  I love leather and PVC fashions.  I think I look good and I love how they make me feel.

When you are on social media, you open yourself up to comments and messages.  It comes with the territory.  Yes, I could shut off comments and close my messages, but I don’t want to do that, especially when the majority of comments are friendly and supportive.

But there is a difference between between “that is a sexy dress” and “I want to tear that dress off you”.  There’s a difference between “I support the transgender community” and “I love shemales”.

So, I wanted to illustrate a few guidelines as to what I am comfortable with and what makes my skin crawl.

Good!

No!

Love, Hannah

Not For You

My friend Marci and I were chatting recently about men commenting on photos we post online.  Most comments are kind, but of course there are always those that come from men who clearly sexualize and fetishize girls like us.

These comments are beyond the typical “ur sexy” comments but are oddly specific when it comes to being dominated by a girl like us or someone’s obsession with our feet.  Really?  Feet?

These responses are usually pretty easy to ignore and one would hope they are relatively harmless.  I do get annoyed at how they can contribute to the overall fetishization of our community and can influence the thinking that we are who we are for some sexual reason.  Who I am might be your fetish, but it is certainly not mine.

I am who I am for me, I am not who I am for you.

Love, Hannah

Skyscrapers and Stilettos

I was chatting with my friend Marci recently about how we often feel that we are the tallest girls in the world, and wearing four inch stilettos isn’t helping.

But no one is too tall to be a girl.  And no one is too tall to wear heels.

I was blown away by her newest photo composition which perfectly portrays how I feel when I am out in the real world.  I feel tall, I feel as if everyone is looking at me, and I feel beautiful.

Minneapolis freeway

I hope you like this as much as I do and I really hope you follow her on Flickr.  You can see her other compositions here and here.

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I want to ask how I can tell my wife that I’m a cross dresser, I have been this way my whole life I’ve always known, I have tried to keep my desire a secret but the older I get it get harder to hide this .  I tried to come out to my wife 3 years ago , I got myself worked up to tell her and I even said the words but it didn’t go well and after talking for 3 hours I basically back tracked and said it was just a phase I went through as a teen and hadn’t done it since which was a lie and after all that and her questions the next day it was ignored and we haven’t mentioned it since and I just want her to say something again but she hasn’t.  Should I push the issue again?

I wouldn’t push the issue but that is different than bringing it up again.

Since you attempted to discuss it previously, you should know how she responded the first time.  You said it didn’t go well, but this revelation rarely does.  Why didn’t it go well?  What were her concerns?  Was she afraid you were gay?  That you wanted to transition?

If you do decide to bring the topic up again, be prepared to discuss what her concerns were that she raised the first time you came out.

And although she hasn’t brought it up since you had the talk, rest assured she probably thinks about it everyday.

Keep in mind that we shouldn’t come out with the hope or expectation that our partners will “let” us wear panties or paint our nails or however we wish to express our gender identity.  We should be open with our partners because it is the right thing to do, regardless of what we need to be open about.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

Playing Dress Up

paper doll

As shelter-in-place restrictions are eased, we are able to slowly and gradually return to parts of our lives that have been off-limits for a while.  I am excited for this for a number of reasons.  One would think these restrictions are being phased out because the curve is flattening but that doesn’t seem to be the case, unfortunately.  That would be the reason I would be most excited about, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Regardless, I am excited to go out en femme and resume MN T-Girls events and photo shoots.  I have a shoot in June for En Femme and another shoot for some amazing stilettos I was sent to review.

Part of my review for the heels will be about matching the shoes with an appropriate outfit.  Which mini-dress looks best with a pair of sky-high stilettos, for example.  Sometimes the answer is obvious, sometimes this decisions keeps me up at night (not really.  Okay, maybe a little).

This side of me has an amazing wardrobe with a zillion different possibilities.  On one hand this is wonderful, on the other hand, it can be quite intimidating.  Putting together an outfit with everything from earrings to stockings to shoes to a top and making sure it all goes together is a learning curve.  I still have a hard time matching a skirt to a top which is one of the reasons I mostly wear dresses.

I’ve been thinking about which dresses I will wear for the shoes over the last few days and I think I have decided on two out of the three, but still considering the final pair.  Putting together an outfit is not unlike playing dress up with paper dolls.

Have you found putting together outfits easy?  What are some of your fashion rules?
Love, Hannah