An Alluring Evening!

After the comments by a Victoria’s Secret CEO a few months ago, many in our community, including myself,  have decided to stop shopping there.  It’s hard to deny that they had really cute panties and for the most part, many of us had very welcoming and comfortable experiences there.  So, where’s a t-girl to go?

There are other options.

However, shopping online and shopping in a store are different experiences, especially when it comes to lingerie.   A few members of the MN T-Girls reached out to me and asked where a girl like us could go for a bra fitting in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area.

I live to serve.

IMG_1830For the February MN T-Girl outing, I arranged for a private shopping event at Allure, a really wonderful lingerie boutique in Saint Paul.  Like other private events we’ve been to, this took place after the store closed to the general public in order to create a safe, supportive and inclusive night of shopping en femme.

There’s no denying that Allure is just a really wonderful lingerie shop.  It’s warm, intimate,  and has a really incredible selection of panties, bras, bodysuits, shapewear and pajamas.  Their sizing is also inclusive which can go up to 3x and bras that go up to 48k.

For our event we had three amazing hosts who helped us all with bra fittings, recommendations, and special orders.  But the most important thing they did for our group and our community is showing how supportive they are.

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There were about twenty of us at the event and we definitely kept our hosts busy.  Our hosts were amazing as they helped us with bra fittings and educating us with everything from bra care to explaining how to find our cup size for those of us who wear forms.  Our hosts helped us find matching panties for beautiful bras as well as shapewear for those who are looking for some curves.  Some of us came to the event who were just looking to start building their lingerie wardrobe, some of us were looking for new sleepwear but for myself I wanted a new matching bra/panty set and a new black push-up bra.  I am thrilled with what I found.

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It was a wonderful night.  I am so happy that we have such an amazing store in the area.  There are other locations across the Twin Cities as well as in Wisconsin and Texas.

Here are some pictures from the event.  Huge thank you to Allure, our hosts Hannah, Angela and Ann and to all the MN T-Girls who helped create a really magical night.

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Love, Hannah

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New Photos!

I’ve been admiring the recent look of tight black tops paired with a gray check skirt for a while and I thought it’d be a perfect outfit to wear for a tiny photo shoot with Shannonlee last month.  Instead of a shirt or a blouse I wore a black bodysuit for a sleeker look.

I love how these turned out!

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Makeup by the incredible Corrie Dubay!

I hope you like them!

 

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

 

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My eyes are up here, boys

I really want a nice breast form plate!   I have a more masculine chest and neck and would like it covered!   Do you have any suggestion! Price is not a problem just want something that looks real and is quality!   It will really help with my confidence! 

Thank you so much!

I don’t have much experience using forms or padding, though I (finally) started wearing breast forms about a year ago.  I actually really like them and I am surprised at how natural they look and feel.  I resisted them for a very long time as I wanted to be as natural as possible but I really feel that my forms are a part of me.  I was afraid that they would unattach or create some sort of wardrobe malfunction but no worries yet!

Suddenly Femme (also known as The Breast Form Store) sells a rather large variety of breast forms and breast plates, including one that looks rather convincing.  I’m glad price isn’t an issue, though.  🙂

Glamour Boutique also has an array of options.  They have a really nice page dedicated to reviews of different options that I would recommend you look into.

I hope you find one that you like!  If any readers have any suggestions please comment!

Love, Hannah

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Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

ForHer… and for Him

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Not too long ago I posted about a CEO from Victoria’s Secret saying some pretty hurtful and ignorant things about transwomen.  I have resolved to stop shopping there and many of you have asked for alternatives when it comes to lingerie and bra fittings.  I live to serve.

I posted about ThirdLove and will continue to highlight trans-friendly options when it comes to shopping.  A reader recently let me know about HerRoom and I was happy she did.  Not only do they have beautiful lingerie, but they also have a very comprehensive section dedicated to helping everyone find their perfect fit.

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If you go to their ‘fitting room’ tab, you’ll see they have guides for finding your measurement for lingerie for those of us who have a more… male shaped body.

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I hope this is helpful!  If you are aware of anywhere you like to shop, whether online or at the mall that goes out of their way to help our community, please let me know!

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

Has Hannah affected your relationship with your wife?  Has your wife seen Hannah? Has she had “girls nights in” with Hannah? How does she feel about Hannah?  How has her relationship with Hannah evolved since your early  days of blogging?

I could probably write (and maybe I should) a book about the dynamics and evolution and impact that crossdressing/being transgender has on a relationship, but I will try to keep this concise.

Being who we are is likely hard on our partners.  This is not a part of us that will change or go away, so we will never “outgrow” this part of us, this is not a phase we are going through.  Too many of us try to suppress this part of us when we meet someone and start a relationship because we don’t want to scare this person away by revealing this part of us.

But of course no matter how hard we try to deny it, this is who we are and we shouldn’t try to do that.  What we should do is be honest with ourselves and be honest with our partners.  I get emails from people like us who tell me that they don’t plan on telling their partners about this side of them until after they’re married.  Their thinking is that it’s too late for them to go anywhere.  This is hurtful, cruel, unfair and dishonest.

I told my wife about this part of me after a few months of dating, once I knew I wanted to marry her.  I’ve come out to a few partners in my life when I felt the relationship was strong and serious enough.  At the time I came out to her, I felt that this was all about under-dressing and I didn’t have a “male mode” or a “female mode”.  I was just a man who wore panties.

But people change and evolve.

After we’d be married for a few years, she asked if I ever wore makeup or clothes other than lingerie.  I had, but never really to the point of a full makeover or head to toe with a wig and heels.  She did my makeup that night and helped me order a wig.  Up to that moment she didn’t really understand why I liked lingerie but she understood the feeling of wanting to be beautiful.

I started to buy dresses with her help.  My wardrobe grew and our relationship now had a new part of it.  We were both learning about Hannah and getting to know her.  We had constant and honest communication about what… all this meant.  There were times where she was concerned about me wanting to transition and where all this was leading to.  Those concerns faded over time.

It’s easy to understand her concern.  I went from wearing panties to doing my makeup and having a closet full of heels in a few months.  My evolution accelerated and it was like going from a nice leisurely drive to a million miles per hour.  But eventually I stopped my gender exploration and landed where I am today and her concerns about me wanting to transition subsided.

This part of me has allowed me to be more open, honest, vulnerable and transparent with my wife.  Not only as Hannah, but as in my male side as well.  This took a lot of patience on her part and a lot of effort to try to understand me.  It took a lot of time, sometimes difficult communication and open and honest conversations.

So yes, she has seen Hannah.  We both met her at the same time, in a way.  We’ve had many girls nights in, whether it was a nice quiet night in wearing leggings or me rocking an amazing gown with winged eyeliner.

My wife and I used to feel that Hannah and my male side were two very different people.  Of course, we have very different wardrobes but over time Hannah and I have kind of… well, balanced out.  Hannah would tend to be more relaxed and chatty whereas I was more preoccupied with whatever was going on or needed to be done.  I don’t relax much, but our girls nights in gave me a chance to dress up and slow down and watch a movie or sit and talk.  My wife and I don’t feel there’s as much of a difference between my two genders (besides physician appearance and presentation) as there used to be.

I make all of this sound very easy and idyllic, but as with any relationship things are always more complicated and nuanced than it sounds.  I am lucky to have my wife for many reasons, not only because of this.

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

Ask Hannah!

Have you ever thought about modeling as a bride for one of your photo shoots?  I know you’ve modeled before, so I was just curious.

I would love to do a photo shoot as a bride or a bridesmaid!  I’ve done quite a few shoots over the past few years both solo and with the MN T-Girls, and I am lucky to work with Shannonlee, an amazing photographer and the shoots are always better when Corrie does my makeup.

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I also had the honor to work with Christie Williams of Grinkie Girls in March of 2018.

A few years ago I did modeling for Glamour Boutique and it was so much fun.

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I would love to do more modeling, period.  Last year I did some writing for Xdress and I was confused and disappointed when all of a sudden our partnership stopped.  I thought it would be fun to model for them and I did a shoot modeling one of their dresses.  I thought if Shannonlee and I put together a small portfolio it might entice them for modeling work but as the partnership dissipated without knowing why, my enthusiasm for the project died with it.

But here are a couple pictures from that day:

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But back to your question.  Yes, I would love to a do a bridal shoot!  I am becoming more drawn to “theme” shoots where I model one or two dresses in a really beautiful location.  The problem with a bridal shoot is that the dresses tend to be expensive and I can’t bring myself to spending that much money on one.  Ideally I would love to do a series of photos with me shopping for a dress and trying different ones on.  I would follow it up with perhaps a series of getting a makeover and then a shoot with the dress itself.

So, unless someone wants to buy me a gown, I am not sure that will happen anytime soon, but a t-girl can dream.  🙂

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

It Will Never Be Okay

I think the social norms surrounding clothes are hilarious.

Why is a t-shirt with a v-neck considered men’s wear and a t-shirt with a scoop neck is considered women’s wear?  It’s a shirt.

I stand by the belief that if every cis-male tried sleeping in a nightgown then within weeks Target would soon start selling nighties with designs like a football jersey.

Same with leggings because OMG leggings.

I get emails from many people, both trans and cis about clothes.  Some of the emails are from people who may not consider themselves transgender, but rather just want to wear what they want to wear.  “Why can’t guys wear a skirt?  What’s wrong with men wanting to paint their nails?”

Here’s the thing.  Anyone can wear a skirt.  Anyone can paint their nails, even if it’s tricky to paint your right hand with your left hand.  Clothes don’t know that society has placed expectations and norms on who can wear them.  If it fits, you can wear it.

But I know that’s not what they mean.  People want to be able to wear what they want without anyone caring.  Or pointing.  Or laughing.  But that will never happen.  We live in a society where the colors people wear make people so angry.  In 2011 J. Crew published an ad that had a photo of a mom painting her son’s toenails pink.  The world lost its mind.  The reaction, although depressing and hilarious at the same time, was not unexpected.

We live in a world where people get beat up because they’re wearing the opposing football team’s jersey at a game.

I think we can all agree that there are many people in the world who care waaaaay too much about what clothes people wear.  Whether I’m stepping out in heels and a killer bodycon dress and a $70 makeover or I am in guy mode wearing “girl jeans”, I know that I am making someone angry.

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Here’s me not caring about what you think

Good.  If what I wear is making you angry then I am glad to put you through that.  If you are the type of person who spends even a second of your time thinking about what I should or should not wear then you are, well, pretty pathetic.  I don’t care what you wear, why do you care what I wear?

I am not aware of any state that has laws that says that men cannot wear eyeliner or yoga pants.  Let me know if I’m wrong.  But what the law says and what societal norms are can be very different.  Just because there is or isn’t a law about something it doesn’t mean people will change their opinions and attitudes.

I think what we want is for it to be okay.  There were headlines all over the country a few years ago when the marriage equality act was passed.  It gave everyone the right to marry whoever they wanted.  But the law didn’t necessarily change people’s minds about the LGBTQIA community.  I can’t imagine someone seeing that the law changed and thinking “well, I guess it’s okay to be gay.”  If they didn’t like our community before, I doubt that law changed anyone’s mind.

My point is that even if the newspapers all over the world printed a headline that read “It’s Okay to Wear Whatever You Want”, it’s still not going to be “okay”.  It’s not “okay” for me to wear whatever I want.  But that’s fine, I don’t need permission from anyone when it comes to something like clothing.  Even if that headline was published, there will always be the change someone will laugh, point or threaten us whether we are rocking those stilettos or simply glaming up our eyes with a little mascara.

We need to stop waiting for permission.  We need to stop waiting for some authority to “let” us do what we want and wear what we want.  It will never come.  It will never be okay.

But it TOTALLY is.

I hope you can spend your weekend wearing what you want, whether you are strutting through the mall in knee high boots or being lazy in leggings.

Love, Hannah