Ask Hannah!

I love reading about your adventures and experiences.  You say that you think you are too tall to pass in public.  Would you tell me how tall you are without shoes, & then how tall of a heel that you wear?
The reason that I ask is that I am 6ft 4 in. barefoot, I wear 2 1/2 inch heels, as that is the lowest heel that I am able to find in a size 17 women’s shoe.  Flats do not seem to be available in that size.

I don’t think anyone is too tall to pass.  I don’t think anyone is too…anything to pass in public.  The only person’s opinion about whether or not you’re beautiful is your own.  What do you care if the guy you walked by at the store doesn’t like your look?  It doesn’t affect you.  You’ll never please everyone, so focus on making yourself happy.  I don’t think you can have standards as to what one should look like to look like a woman because then we have expectations on what a cis-woman “should” look like.  Have you ever looked at a cis-woman and thought she was too tall to look like a woman?  Every time I think I am the tallest girl in the mall, I see a girl taller than I am.

I say this because I’d like to do my part in moving our community away from the need to “pass” and helping others really examine why passing is a myth and ultimately an unrealistic expectation and holding us back.  I don’t know a single cis-woman who worries that she is not pretty enough or short enough or not girlish enough to “pass” as a woman in public.  I’ve never heard a cis-woman say that she is too tall and people won’t know she’s a girl.  Cis-women know that all women are different and have different bodies and are different sizes.  T-girls are not any different.

I digress.  I am a little over 6 feet tall and I wear everything from flats (no, I’m kidding, I don’t wear flats) to five inch stilettos.  I usually leave the stilettos at home and wear a 2 or a 3 inch heel when I go out. I am not trying to pass or blend in by wearing the shorter heel, I dress and wear what I wear based on what is appropriate to where I am going.  A tight mini dress and sky high heels are perfect for a club but you’ll stand out at Target.

So, mall outfits…

These, not so much.

I am surprised you’re having trouble finding flats in that size.  Have you tried visiting this site?  I think you’ll have better luck online.

I hope this helps!

Love, Hannah

3 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!

  1. I prefer to think that the men are checking me over because they like what they see, and the woman are checking over because they like how my complete look, hair make-up and outfit is put together. I have had men hit on me and woman compliment me. I smile and say thank you. I like to think the best of others. Besides if they don’t pay my bills or know me, really know me, what do I care what they think. Just paying attention to what other women wear to go out shopping at the mall or the grocery store, I can wear heels boots loafers sandals or sneakers.. 6 foot 1 inch without heels. Get dressed, get out, get stepping and have fun.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Loved your response. As a community we need to get past the desire to pass. Except for maybe the very young transitioners, few pass and that’s OK. It’s OK and normal to be trans and the more of us who celebrate that we are trans and proud the best for everyone cis and trans.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Spot on girls: I’m 6ft 1in plus heels too.

    If I’m wandering round shops it’s a casual outfit and flats or ankle boots with sensible heels for walking. For a night out on the town: anything goes but keep it looking good not trashy! Looking forward to breaking out the prom dresses and heels soon 🙂

    The ‘Passing is myth’ mantra is so refreshing. I want to look good but I’m not going to be in fear that I’m fooling anyone who looks too close or talks with me. As Hannah says, we want people to find us pleasant and friendly to interact with and where appropriate enjoy our company.

    Liked by 1 person

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