Ask Hannah!

I’m just curious, other than that time you ran into your mom, have you ever been caught out as Hannah by someone from your “Non-Hannah” life? If so, what did you do? How did you react?

No, thank goodness.

The only time something similar happened was when I was in male mode shopping for a skirt at Target and ran into my sister.  This was a couple years before I came out to her.  I wasn’t in the women’s section and hadn’t picked anything out, so it was a close call.

When we go out in public we do that with the acceptance that we may potentially run into everyone we know, whether that is our boss or the conservative side of our family.  Although there are things we can do to minimize the risks, we need to understand that this can happen.

So, what do we do when that does happen?  It will depend on who you run into, of course.  My boss?  I may as well quit my job and leave town.   My best friend?   Then it’s time for an overdue conversation.

If you wish to remain in the closet to some people in our lives, then we must remain conscience of where we go and be vigilant of who is in the room or the store.

There is no right way to come out to someone.  Those conversations may be carefully planned for weeks or may be unexpected and happen at the mall.  It’s good to be prepared for those talks, even if there is no correct way to do it.

Fortunately I  have never had this experience, but if others reading this have had this happen, please share in the comments.

Love, Hannah

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Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

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3 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!

  1. I have been out locally frequently (probably 100 times) the last 2 1/2 years. I’ve had three encounters with those who know the male me.

    The first was at a mall about 25 miles away. I heard the voice first and walked in a different direction.

    The second was at a local shoe store. I was walking in and this person was walking out and we made eye contact (I then looked away) and probably walked within 5 feet of each other as we passed. I saw her about a week later (and have seen her frequently since) and she has said nothing. Fortunately, I did not stick my foot in my mouth and say “Hi Alice” (not her real name).

    The third time was about two weeks ago. I went to Target (for the first time) to get some hangers and containers to orgaNice my growing girl clothes collection. I was walking out carrying the containers and walking in was a woman in my running club, who I had been out running with twice in the previous couple of weeks. She paid no attention to me.

    My GG friends, who I met as the girl me, and have seen the guy me, say they don’t make the connection between the guy me and the girl me.

    So that has helped my confidence that I am less likely to get “clocked”.

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  2. I used to be scared to death of being clocked in public by someone I know. But over the years I have casually run into a few people I know and they didn’t look twice at me, let alone make any connection with my male identity. With the wig, the makeup and the clothes, people generally would have to take a very close look to determine it is the other me. Most people respect social privacy enough not to stare that hard at someone in public.

    On the other hand, sometimes I wish I would get clocked in a very public setting. In some ways I’m not a brave person but being outed would get it done and I could move on from there.

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  3. I believe that context is quite important – when out en femme we do not really look as much like our male selves as many fear, so unless you do something to call attention to yourself you will most likely go unnoticed. I am reminded of when my kids had swim classes – their instructor was a young woman who, of course, I saw in nothing but a (conservative) bathing suit. I was in the grocery store with my wife, who greeted a young woman, and when I asked afterwards who that was she told me it was the swim instructor. I thought (but lucky for me did not say out loud), “Dang – I did not recognize her with her clothes on!”

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