I fully believe that life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. I think that statement is more true for a t-girl than almost anyone else. When we have more than one gender identity we spend time getting to know that side of us. We spend energy creating a look for them based on what feels right. We create a place for this side of us in our lives. Most importantly, we strive to create a balance for our gender identities.
This is not easy. We get lost in the pink fog, we struggle to accept this side of us, we share (or hide) this secret with our significant others, we yearn to leave the confines of our living rooms to interact with the real world.
I strive to find that balance between my gender identities. It takes a lot of time, patience, and mistakes. Writing about who I am, and who we are, helps me sort out my thoughts. I have been doing a lot of writing over the last year or so about accepting ourselves, the stress this aspect of us has on our partners, and how to live in a world that doesn’t understand us.
I can only write based on my experiences and this helps me gain perspective on my own life. We spend so much time in our own heads because not all of us have someone to talk to about this part of us. I am humbled and happy when I get emails and comments about these writings. So many of us have had the same experiences and thoughts and it’s amazing at how much we all have in common. It’s not easy to be who we are. I mean, not only do we need to learn to walk in heels and how to do winged eyeliner, we also have the challenges of talking to our partners about who we are and the struggle to find a balance in our lives with our gender identities.
Some of you have suggested I write a book. I never thought about writing one but after the positive feedback and personal emails from other t-girls I thought I might have something to say.
I am happy and terrified to finally announce that I am going to give writing a book a shot.
‘In-Between: Balancing Life Between Genders‘ will consist of some of the writings from my blog, my background and journey, and serve as an introduction to the part of the transgender community that goes between genders. The book is about finding balance between our gender identities, communicating with others, and living in a world that doesn’t always know how to react to us.
Before you start looking for this book on Amazon, please know that the book is still being written. I think I am about 75% done and I think it’ll be finished this fall. I also need to find either a literary agent or a publisher. So, even if I typed the final word of the book today, it’s still a long (and almost impossible) process to get a book published. But, I am excited and staying optimistic.
The picture above is a cover mock-up and if the book were to find a publisher there would likely be a different image. Shannonlee and I had some fun on our recent photo shoot taking these pictures and I think it helps to have a visual representation of what kind of book I am writing to share with editors and agents.
I really want to thank you all for encouraging me to do this, and for sharing your stories and experiences. You letting me know that we all have the same thoughts, fears, struggles, and challenges convinced me that a book like this might be helpful to our community and informative to a world that doesn’t know what to think of us.
I am hard at work finishing this project and if anyone out there has any connections in the publishing world, please let me know! 🙂